Some Times You Just Got-a Do It!!

Sure you know it's wrong but yet, something makes you just jump in with both feet. Of course sometimes you look around and see if anyone is watching and other times you just don't care. I for one have somehow lived my life on that very thin edge of a balance beam. I have done many dumb things and I am here to laugh about them now.

Now you know we have all done stupid things and some people still try to tuck these times away and never tell anyone. I'm talking about things that only made you the fool and didn't hurt anyone else. Usually we accomplish these deeds in our youth. Yet, some how I have been able to continue this habit a lot longer---so I say "self-don't-stop-now." I will start this list off with just a few.

Road Rage:  my-way;

Yes, we have all been there. Have you ever wished that you could get even with that person that just cut-you off in a long line of traffic.

• I learned to drive in a ton½ truck when I was sixteen and found that it does have advantages that still come in handy today.

I had stopped back in the long line of traffic waiting my turn to what ever the problem was ahead.  Then this fool that was sitting in his little sports car directly behind me started honking his horn and yelling @#!^&* words and also giving signals that only displayed one finger.  Where he thought we were all suppose to go I do not know?  That was one very irritating horn.  I noticed that he seemed to be the last one in this long line-up.  So I gently put the truck in reverse and slowly started backing him back into the direction that which he had come and also taught him what a real-air-horn sounded like.  I even got some applause from some by-standers that where standing on the sidewalk.  (Note: I have now downsized, I only drive a pick-up truck now) if that helps. 

Short-Cuts: 

The term---"a straight line is the shortest route" well that may be true but it has also got me in trouble several times for trying it.

To get to my destination I would have to travel at least two miles out of my way because the Los Alamitos race track had been placed in my way and it was late at night.  I studied the entrance and there were really only two wooden-barriers that my head lights shown brightly against.  Well, I could easily move two of them and then be on my way.  I carefully moved them and then drove through and placed them right back where the were, that way no one would know.  I then proceeded around the parking lot to the exit, only to find that they had placed two more barricades at the exit.  I was in the process of repeating the same removal exercise when all these flood light came on.  It seems that the two big guards with their guns strapped loosely around their extended mid-sections appeared from out of no-where and asked me what I thought I was doing and where did I think I was going?

To me that was a stupid question at this point.  I politely told them that I was just taking a short-cut.  Finally after a lot of sweet-talk on my part and promising never to come there again, I was permitted to be on my way. 

Short-Cut Evidence?

Once again I tested the "straight line being the shortest route" method.

It was late in the evening and it had been raining heavy so I was in a hurry to get home.  I decided to cut through an old cemetery that I had passed by many times.  I assumed that it had more than one entrance.  After wandering up and down most of the bumpy dirt lanes I realized that I had assumed incorrectly.

The next morning (Mr. X) asked me where I had been with the car?  I thought he probably noticed how muddy it was and he was somewhat a neat-freak.  I explained that beings it had been raining and the roads were very muddy that it couldn't be helped but it would all get washed off later.  He seemed to disagree with that explanation and pointed to the rear bumper.  I could not believe my eyes, there caught in the rear bumper was a grave stone. 

 I promptly returned to the cemetery and it was not hard to find where the missing stone belonged because the ground was still wet and there was evidence of tire tracks.  I reset the stone and added a small vase of flowers.  There was no real name on the stone only a date carved roughly in it---1886.

I no longer take short-cuts, not that I wouldn't but because there just doesn't seem to be any around anymore?

Yes, my friends when you can't laugh at your self---you have no right to laugh at others!