RALWUS TRIBUTE: Charlie, You Bastard!
By: Wayne Brown
As weird as it might sound, this is my tribute to my friend, Charlie Campbell aka ralwus. He likes it! Workin’ my little fingers to bone writin' hubs
Tryin' to keep up with Charlie Campbell
Known as the infamous poet, ralwus,
The babe monger with the purple lizard
He cranks 'em out two, three at a time
Twisting words, using sex, talking crap
Makin' me sleep with his women
The bastard's mind never ceases to create
That bastard Charlie, livin’ in my head
There's nothing sacred in his woeful odes
He talks of parrots, crap, sex, and bullshit
He creates temperature inversions in my brain
Some days, it’s hours to the clear the fog.
Charlie, the bastard, has screwed my mind.
I love his sensual innuendoes
especially with all the pictures
He writes of legs, thighs, hips, and tits
He makes me absolutely dizzy with all it
I wonder 'where was I when he did that'
Most likely immersed in brandy
Suckin’ a cigar
Charlie, that bastard, has all the fun
Charlie, the bastard, his words flow
Run like silk from the spider's ass
Mine hang like molasses
Stiff on a cold Vermont morning
Charlie, that bastard!
He can write poetry while tweaking his balls
Crap! I can't write and scratch at all.
My desire to be like Charlie
Why it’s just a friggin’ dream
I'll never be a poet;
Nobody wants to unravel my think
The girls just swoon on Charlie's stuff
Charlie, you bastard,
let those women go!
The more I work to be like him
the more I understand
Sane men like me are not poets
You have to be a little bit crazy
Something akin to an outhouse rat
Charlie’s already arrived there
I don't know where I'm at.
Charlie, that bastard!
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