The End of The Road Brought Fragrance. In Response to Bill's Challenge, by Manatita

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/A-Writing-Challenge-The-Door-to-Nowhere

The Door to No where
The Door to No where | Source

Was it really only yesterday? The year had gone badly and it was most certainly his Annus Horribilis, put simply, a very bad year. Head down, fingers scratching at his forehead and walking aimlessly through a dusty old side street in Downtown Frutompia, he stopped at an alleyway, to invigorate his thoughts.

Alone, dishevelled, lost in despair, and with an empty stomach rumbling and dreaming of its next meal, Pete stumbled forward like a drunken man, lost in his own dreams. It was the beginning of a New Year, and he was still apprehensive and afraid.

Reflecting on what was so far a pretty dismal period in Life, thoughts weighed heavily on his shoulders like dead elephants. He walked through the alleyway, oblivious of the polluted air that he now breathed, and the sirens of speeding vehicles going by. Down past the apartment buildings, along an alleyway strewn with debris, the pungent smell of dumpsters, broken-looking homeless Souls and dead rats, was his only companions.

Grey clouds, sinking feeling

Source

This was Frutompia, after all, not exactly the place to be for a desperate man; one who had lost everything, was now homeless and penniless, with the threat of rain and an overcast sky, shadowing his every move.

Yet it was not the dome of the capitol building, some half a mile away, that would transform his life, but the sight of a creamy coloured apartment, with a box-like rectangular metal cage, hanging outside its locked door. How strange, thought Peter. He had not seen anything like this where he came from, and the fact that there was a long ladder attached to it, made him all the more curious.

What was its purpose, why was it there? It was going nowhere, and this thought suddenly served as a metaphor for his own life: Going NO WHERE. Living in the fast lane of wine, women, failing marriage and drugs, had brought him to this, and now he felt as rusty and as useless as those metal bars, with no objectives, no dreams; no hopes …

Slowly and purposefully he climbed the ladder, and entered into the cage, some thirty metres above the ground. Once inside, he rocked precariously to and fro, a saddened soul, striving without much success, to deal with the deep emptiness within.

He looked down, and realised that he was slowly being the cynosure of the curious eyes from passers-by. Some stood and took pictures, others stopped to see what he would do, camera’s and ‘selfies’ ready, in case he decided to jump.

Despair

Source

What a cruel world this! He thought. Cold, uninviting, with a lack of empathy; full of complacency and indifference.

What had happened to this land of hope and glory? Where were the principles of Washington, Emerson, Lincoln and Jefferson? Devoid of hope; without so much as another glance at those beneath, he leapt out of the cage, and threw himself into the air.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

visitation

Source

Peter became aware of a visitation, in one of his many dreams. He also heard himself singing a song of the great Psalmist David, and wept for joy.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me”. (Psalm 23:4) JKV.

Suddenly he thanked God that his dear wife and children were church-goers, as those words of David, were most certainly comforting to him. He felt a hand on his forehead, and a deep thrill of the Spirit flowed through him like an electric shock. Only it was loving and intoxicating, and he felt a deep peace and forgiveness.

A few seconds later, and two weeks after his sad experience, he opened his eyes on the 5th Floor, Ward 6, Bay 3, Bed1, at Frutompia Hospital.

Scanning the area around him, he was aware of a woman and two children sitting next to his bed. Where was he, how did they got there? They looked strangely familiar. Eyes worn and flushed by the many tears she said and the prayers offered, the woman held his hands, and then ran her palms along both sides of his sleepy face. Yet she appeared comforting; reassuring and immensely supportive. Her face shone with beauty.

Re-union. Why not try Bill's Challenge? See link above.

re-united
re-united | Source

Peter suddenly remembered. He had thrown himself from a sort of make-shift balcony some time ago, and somehow had landed on some thick mattresses and cushions, in the yard beneath. He had then knocked his head on something solid, and that was all he recollected.

He lifted his feet, and they responded; his hands, and they responded too. He was happy to be alive and in one piece; yet with so much love in his heart. Still, he needed to understand the presence of the vaguely familiar woman who was holding his hands, while treating him so affectionately. Unable to remain silent any longer, he turned his head and said:

“Why are you here?”

“To take you home, my husband, she replied, to take you home. The children are waiting, but there is no rush.”

With that she kissed his cheeks, and a tear of joyfulness fell smack unto his blushing face. Peter wept, with his eyes and heart, saying a trillion Gratitude’s in Silence.

-Manatita. Word-crafted Awakenings by The Lantern-Carrier. © Copyrighted 1st February, 2015.

Family Re-union. Cute video, and worth every 3.25 minutes viewing.

Sweet Visitations

Have you ever had a visitation?

  • No
  • Don't know
  • Certainly
  • Would love to
  • Other
See results without voting

© 2015 manatita44

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31 comments

always exploring profile image

always exploring 20 months ago from Southern Illinois

Manatita, you were born to write a story like this. You have the gift to open eyes to the lost, lonely people. I hope many come to read this beautiful story of redemption. Will share..Thank you sweet man. Peace. I forgot to mention the video. I loved it. Thank you.


annart profile image

annart 20 months ago from SW England

Another imaginative response to this challenge. Great that he was saved and still had a loving wife. I love, 'thoughts weighed heavily on his shoulders like dead elephants' - great image!

Ann


billybuc profile image

billybuc 20 months ago from Olympia, WA

A wonderful interpretation of the challenge. You are a poet at heart; it even shows in your prose. Thank you so much for taking part in the challenge. I love your imagination and vision.

Well done my friend. Blessings to you always.


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 20 months ago from sunny Florida

What a powerful piece this so. No doubt many who read will find it so and will give themselves over to the message you share.

Well done.

Angels are on the way to you this morning ps


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 20 months ago from london Author

Ruby,

What a 'sweet' comment. A very loving and touching sentiment. Yes, both my Flash Fictions gave me tremendous joy. So happy that you enjoy it.

Gratitude Ann,

So happy to read your soulful comments. The 'dead elephant' thing came straight from my heart, all right, but I improvised from a phrase written by my Teacher himself: Sri Chinmoy. Bill will notice that right at the beginning, I took some of his suggestions - not many - and used them to make the scene vivid.

The core, spirit, imagery and language are all my own. Still, I always say that much of what we esoteric and aesthetic writers say come either directly from God Itself, or travel in the ether and are taken from those who came before us. I also read so much as a child, and through an intuitive process, they simply return to me when I request. In Love and Light.

Hey Bill,

Read the other piece called 'Free at Last' and let me know what you think. When you have the time, of course.

I have told you this about your writing also. Sara Sarwaz is also a bit like that. So I'm glad that we agree. Hehe.

pstraubie48,

And a powerful sentiment, too. Thank you for the angels, I'm still on my first wing, the second will come, I'm sure. I will go to my spiritual Centre in ten minutes, and I will keep you and yours in my prayers which starts at 1800 hrs, UK time. All the best in Sunny Florida.


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 20 months ago from Central Florida

Beautiful story, Manaita. I was pleasantly surprised, as I was expecting a poem. Nice job!


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 20 months ago from southern USA

Beautiful and heartrending submission to Bill's challenge. It is a lovely story of hope. You are a great storyteller in addition to a wonderful poet.

I have been enjoying your creative stories here.

Peace and blessings always


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 20 months ago from london Author

Hehe, bravewarrior,

I am a published writer. Here's your chance to read my book on Amazon: My Guru, Sri Chinmoy: Life And Teachings. I was probably writing as a sometimes naked four yr-old, jumping into the basin (a deep part of a river) with my friends:)

I also started here five years ago as a prose writer. Glad you liked my poems. So happy and grateful. I see that you like my Flash Fictions too. Great! A loving and wonderful evening to you, my friend.

Hi Faith,

Thank you so much. On this blessed Sunday, I send you peace and blessings also. Love to your dear ones. Gratitude ...


jhamann profile image

jhamann 20 months ago from Reno NV

What a beautiful story. I am going to quote something you said once...."Well Hubpages is a place for writers"....This was a wonderful read. Your friend. jamie


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 20 months ago from New York

Manatita you brought hope and love to this piece of loneliness and destitution. So well written my friend. You are certainly a writer, the venue is your choice and all you tackle is wonderful.

Voted up, awesome, and beautiful.


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 20 months ago from California

Well done! Your prose is beautiful! PS--trying to catch up and get to the work you sent me--


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 20 months ago from london Author

Thank you so much. I appreciated this. I am actually a writer and have been at it for many years, hehe. Do you write much prose? Any books? I don't remember. Best wishes.


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 20 months ago from london Author

Mary, I seem to have lost a few comments. I really appreciate such touching sentiment. I do not like to end in despair. I tend to lift them up. Still, I know that the Light is in darkness, too. Gratitude ....much.

Jamie Bro.

Really happy you came but do feel for you. Much love as always for the family. Don't work too hard. Gratitude ....deep.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 20 months ago from The Caribbean

Interesting story with a really fragrant ending. Thanks for a pleasant read!


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 20 months ago from london Author

Hi Dee.

Yes, I like to end kind of upbeat. Much love.


rdsparrowriter profile image

rdsparrowriter 20 months ago

Wow! A lovely message of hope and wonder. Thank you for sharing. You are an awesome writer.


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 20 months ago from london Author

rdsparrowriter,

A wonderful sentiment for which I thank you profusely. In Love and Light.


ChitrangadaSharan profile image

ChitrangadaSharan 20 months ago from New Delhi, India

This is a lovely response to the challenge. A hub written in prose style but has the soul of a poem. Loved your interpretation.

Thanks for sharing this excellent piece!


DDE profile image

DDE 20 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Hi manatita44, you have shared a wonderful story. I admire your true talent and your attitude show with great interest.


manatita44 20 months ago

Hi My friend.

Thank you. Very best wishes with your book. God bless.


vkwok profile image

vkwok 20 months ago from Hawaii

You answered the challenge stunningly, Manatita!


manatita44 20 months ago

Thank you my Friend,

You really appreciate my work. I'm so grateful. I'm actually both writer and poet, probably for as long as I can remember. You're a dear friend. I truly appreciate this. In Peace.


MDavisatTIERS profile image

MDavisatTIERS 20 months ago from Georgia

Good morning, manatita44, excellent response to the challenge. I think all of us who took it went to a very dark place; and like you, mine is of redemption. If there is no hope in this world, what is the point? Powerful words, message of hope and guidance and that is part of the message of writers today. Change can be accomplished, although not everyone is visited and guided like your character. I enjoyed it very much. ~Marilyn


cam8510 profile image

cam8510 20 months ago from Columbus, Georgia until the end of November 2016.

Manatita, How many times have we been saved from our own, stubborn self-destructiveness so that things turn out okay? I know I've experienced it and the angels came from unexpected places. Thanks for sharing.


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 20 months ago from london Author

Chitrangada,

I think my Soul sings a lot. I was just at a Temple in Germany a few hours ago, and it was singing sweetly there, too. In Love and Light.

Cam8510, The Higher Light sheds rain-drops from Heaven, and enfolds us with Its Love. You seem to know this. Welcome here and Hari Om!.

MDavis, I am a nurse. I just read an inspirational piece from you and I identified with it, as I worked in Alcohol and Drug Addiction for some time. Much gratitude for visiting my Hub. Yes, I tend to lift or elevate, by nature, although I also accept that the dark can also help us. Much peace.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 19 months ago from Queensland Australia

I enjoyed this well written tale Manatita. It is the first short fiction prose I have read of yours. Good response to Bill's challenge. Blessings to you.


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 19 months ago from london Author

Thanks Jodah.

I appreciate this. Read 'free at last.' which is even more powerful! I grew up being both writer and poet. Much gratitude.


mary615 profile image

mary615 19 months ago from Florida

The more of your writings I read, the more I am in awe of your talent as a poet AND a writer.

I intend to purchase and read your book, too.


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 19 months ago from london Author

Thank you. I'll be so happy, and the book is a source of inspiration and beauty. Thanks for your support.


aviannovice profile image

aviannovice 19 months ago from Stillwater, OK

This was definitely out of your comfort zone, and you grabbed it with gusto, filling the challenge. Well done, my friend, well done.


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 19 months ago from london Author

Deb, my Friend, you're usually 100% correct.

This time you're wrong. I am both a writer and a poet. I have written two books and I started here five years ago writing prose. If you give someone a mango, and find that they like oranges more, then you offer oranges, and this is why I now write so much poetry. Still, I started at 4 yrs old and I'm happy with both.

However, if you meant the sublimity, the loftiness, then you would be correct, because I tend to prefer the spiritual, to uplift; to motivate; to inspire and serve. Still this poem ends with beauty and it was in my mind all the way through. No, it was not out of my comfort zone. Just sharing here, my sweet Friend. Joy and happiness, as always.

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