The Girl Who Was Always A Tortured Soul

Goodnight, for now. Dear friend.
Goodnight, for now. Dear friend.

We shared the same sense of humour,

And often laughed until we cried.

Yet your mind-set had its default setting

Always set at Self-destruct... until the

Day you died.


Mental de-fault setting/homepage...=Self-destruct.


You were capable of tender love.

You directed it to animals, Prefering them to people.

Yet loved... you were.

Did you really not know?

Was it impossible for you to grasp?


My beautiful friend. Child in a woman's body.

Emotions stunted at a tender age.

How could you know or understand

How much you were truly loved?

You saw danger at every corner.

You'd forecast pain the moment you

locked eyes with someone new.


So much anger mixed with hatred,

Surged around inside your head.

Hating people... this only hurt YOU.!

Anger, also deep inside,

Hurting only you.


Mental default setting ...... Self-destruct.!


Annually, worse your health became,

I sadly watched deterioration, helpless

to prevent your determination to self-destruct.


Sitting with you at doctors' office

Holding you..... wrapping arms around you

Nothing seemed to bring you back

to the feisty girl l'd known.

Now l can only wait and pray.,

That l will again see you someday.


More by this Author


Comments 14 comments

mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 23 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

Hello Dim. I am glad you were able to write this. It will help you with your rebuilding from the pain. I am sorry you lost your friend.


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 23 months ago from Great Britain Author

That is a beautiful, helpful comment, for which l thank you.


janshares profile image

janshares 23 months ago from Washington, DC

Powerful and painful, well-expressed grief, Dim. Thank you for putting this loss into words, so creatively. The sadness is felt through this piece. Voted up and beautiful.


Jodah profile image

Jodah 23 months ago from Queensland Australia

Some of the very best poetry springs from sadness. Thank you for sharing.


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 23 months ago from Great Britain Author

Thank you janshares.

It's a difficult time for so many people everywhere. This is how l feel, but must concentrate on the fact that she is out of pain now.

I appreciate your lovely words.


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 23 months ago from Great Britain Author

So true Jodah.

Thank for reading and commenting.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 23 months ago from southern USA

Heartrending poem here you have shared. You have expressed your pain for your friend and the hope of seeing her again so powerfully.

God bless you. (((Hugs)))


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 23 months ago from Great Britain Author

Thank you so much, Faith Reaper.

I value your comments highly.

Hugs right back to you.


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 23 months ago from British Columbia, Canada

I am so sorry for your loss. Your poem is a powerful description of a sad situation. I hope your writing helps you deal with your experience.


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 23 months ago from Great Britain Author

Thank you AliciaC, Yes writing did help, although l felt best relief when l wrote a lot more graphic about her suicide attempts and self -harm, the number of times l've talked her through it in the middle of the night by phone, the countless times l've mopped up her blood along with her tears after a cutting session. Lots of dreadful things that l couldn't possibly publish. Any of her relatives (although unlikely to read Hubpages) if they they read it l would feel terrible for them. She managed to hide so much and l kept quiet and did my best to get her professional help. I appreciate you reading and leaving an encouraging comment.


Genna East profile image

Genna East 23 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

Oh, Dim...this grabs the heart and won't let go. I am so sorry about the loss your friend. There is relief and some release at times when writing about such deep sadness and grief with candor. You have written a powerful poem; thank you for sharing this with us.


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 23 months ago from Great Britain Author

Thank you Genna.

It's hard when anyone dies and circumstances vary greatly.

I seem to be dealing with this through writing. Thank you for your encouragement.


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 22 months ago from Deep South, USA

Dear Dim - I'm so sorry for your loss and personally understand the long, harsh road to this tragedy, as one clings to hope for the better until that day comes when hope is shattered. I hope that writing your poems about her will serve as catharsis to help heal your grief. You tried so diligently to help, and sometimes that is all we can do...and love.

Bless you....Jaye


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 22 months ago from Great Britain Author

Your comment has brought tears to my eyes.

Thank you so, so much for such an understanding comment.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working