Granny and The Sagger-a poem of protest to baggy pants and boxers

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Standing in line bored and waiting

Man, I’m starved, cannot wait to taste.

Glancing around while the lady is plating

I spy a boy with his pants below his waist.

Call a cop! Quick before they drop!

Lawd, Lawd! Grab ‘em fast because I just spilled

my pop. I spy his buttocks spilling over the top.

I’m an old lady, my pacemaker might stop!

There it goes, I see him waving to all six of them

Oh me, oh my! Are they hip hop boys or that M&M?

I am proud to be drug free and cannot handle crack.

Why do they think I want to see that when I snack?

I heard someone say that they are called saggers.

And I think they all are lazy and will end up as beggers

But I see he just pulled out a wad of dough.

His pants are slipping and sliding. Stop! Whoa!

Where oh where are my glasses? Can I move closer

to see better as he passes? Surely this is not kosher!

My head begins to really pound and I look around.

Somebody save me. Now they are on the ground!

I knew when I saw his underwear like that

My heart would fail and now I am having an attack!

Look at him grin, his posse is laughing. He should be

punished. Take this I yell as he gasps at what I am grasping.



PLEASE READ THIS COPYRIGHT NOTICE

All photographs and text on this site are protected under United States and international copyright laws (© Brenda Barnes) with all rights reserved.

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Comments 61 comments

WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 5 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

(chuckle!)


dallaswriter profile image

dallaswriter 5 years ago from North Carolina

You are not right! :)


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Glad to give you a smile WillStarr.

No dallaswriter. I am NOT. But you surely know that by now.


dianne  5 years ago

Hehe, thanks for the laughs.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Happy to make you laugh dianne.


babybrownfox profile image

babybrownfox 5 years ago

Hahaha.. makes me laugh out here. Thanks for giggling my morning.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

babybrownfox, my pleasure. I am so glad you liked it.


Bumpsysmum profile image

Bumpsysmum 5 years ago from Cambridgeshire

Hyphenbird, another tickle to the funny bone, thanks for brightening my day :-)


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Bumpsysmum, glad I could give you a chuckle. I cannot stand to see those boys with their butts hanging out!


Bumpsysmum profile image

Bumpsysmum 5 years ago from Cambridgeshire

Yes, and who wants to see their tacky underpants? Yuk!!

:-)


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

Leave it to you Hyph,wonderful humor about the most inane fashion fad in history! UP! n funnny!


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Glad I could give you a chuckle Alastar!


emilybee profile image

emilybee 5 years ago

Haha I see this all too often, some people need a little help getting dressed in the morning - a belt is usually the proper accessory to help with this issue :) Very nice hub.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Thanks emilybee. Even if I were younger, I would not enjoy seeing all that underwear! Glad you liked it.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa

LOL! Thanks for the laugh! Sloppiness always irritates me.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

MartieCoetser, me too. These boys do it purposely though. ick

It is so nasty. Glad you liked this little ditty.


DexisView profile image

DexisView 5 years ago from New England

That is hysterical. Can you imagine walking around trying to keep those up?!?...and I agree last thing I want to see when I'm eating is a crack :)


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Dexis, I am so glad it gave you a laugh. I have seen those boys waddle trying to keep those baggy old pants up. Just weird and gross.


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 5 years ago

This made me laugh knowing my youngest son has droopy drawers as well, he is one of those gangsta types, he he..fun poem, enjoyed it.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Thank ya saddlerider. I enjoyed writing it. I usually don't do rhyme. My sweet little grandson let me take the picture. He suffers so much for my art. lol


Lady In NC profile image

Lady In NC 5 years ago from A Small Town In North Carolina

Loved This !!! SO Funny !!!


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Than kyou Lady. I saw one of those boys and just had to let off steam. Glad to give you a laugh.


Sunnie Day 5 years ago

I am cracking up! This was so funny...lol Sometimes a good old fashion assisted weggie is needed don't you think?

Sunnie


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Sunnie, that is a great idea! I may try that next time I see one of these young men. By the way, that is my little grandson in the photo. When I get the camera he groans. Poor little guy. Thanks for visiting.


DTroth profile image

DTroth 5 years ago from My Little Hole In The Wall, HubPages, USA

Hi birdie!

I have to chuckle. My son went through that phase a few years back. Thank God it was just a "phase!" hee hee (:

I think Sunnie's got the right idea. They're just settin' themselves up for a weggie!

Thanks for the giggle, birdie.

peace to you...always,

Diana

P.S. Love your new avatar. Such a beautiful pair! (:


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Ah, thank you Diana. My little Hyphie is so adorable. I am glad others think so too. I cannot stand to see these boys pants hanging down. I truly wonder how they keep them up and why would someone ever wish to do that in the first place. Perhaps I am getting old and grouchy. lol

As always it is lovely when you drop by for a visit.


blondey profile image

blondey 5 years ago

Nice wit.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Hello blondey. I appreciate your visit to my Hub. Have a lovely evening.


kimberlyslyrics 5 years ago

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really needed that this morning I tell ya

cheers girl

great job


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Awe Shucks kimberlyslyrics, you're making me blush. You sure made my heart smile. I am glad you liked it. This Hub is one of my personal favorites. Thanks so much for the visit great comments


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

I can't believe I missed this before - this is too funny - but oh so true.... for all human kind... please people - pull up your pants! LOL


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Ain't it the truth, barbergirl?! Thanks for the visit. I cannot bear this trend. Why would we want to see underwear? YUCK


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

I tell my brother in law the same thing all the time... I don't understand it.... those are something we should keep to ourselves... lol


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 5 years ago from Deep South, USA

I laughed out loud, mainly because I often feel much like that Granny when I spy one or more of these saggers walking by. They often seem to defy the laws of gravity (thank goodness, for I don't want their pants to actually drop)...not before they're out of my sightline, anyway.

Jaye


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Those boys need to realize the shock to us ladies! This "fashion" boggles my mind as to why one would want to look this way. I think they need a good wedgie.

Thanks Jaye. Have a wonderful day.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

What's wrong with these young "bums?" I loved this so much, it's on my frig and I forwarded it on to a list of young bucks I know, plus the parents.

I always recognized your brilliance which is ovious in your hubs, but now I see that you are comedy, as well.

Thank you so much, dear friend for putting into words, exactly how I feel. :)


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Hi vocalcoach. I just cannot grasp the rewards of wearing one's pants so low and why would we want to see other people's underwear. t is just icky!

I am glad you liked this poem. It was written after a trip out and having to be subjected to this insult to my eyes, morals and is just a plain violation of good manners.

So glad I could make you smile.


5 years ago

Some young people: young men are rightly criticized for letting their midriff show; meanwhile, their sisters find that they are almost encouraged to do so as a fashion statement.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

You are right f. Perhaps a Hub is needed on that subject also. laugh


5 years ago

Hyphenbird:

Well, maybe you better write it, rather than me! lol (I'm no expert on young ladies' midriffs and navel jewelry.)


Becky 5 years ago

I don't know how I missed this one.(giggles) This is funny. My son, after many times of walking past mom and ending up with his pants around his ankles, wears shorts under his pants. I do not see his underwear. He still has the saggy britches though.He wears a belt and still has to hold his pants up when he runs with a waddle. I don't know why he doesn't just pull them up.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Hi Becky. I am happy to provide a laugh for you. I just cannot stand to witness this. It is such an awful trend and makes me nervous. I am afraid those baggy pants are gonna hit the ground any moment. They must be uncomfortable. Like you said, they cannot walk well, cannot run. It is beyond me.

Your son got a belt? YEAH


justateacher profile image

justateacher 5 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

When I see my younger students sagging, I pull out my rubber band belt and make them pull up their pants. When my older students do it, I ask "How you would you like to see ME wear my pants like that?" You wouldn't believe how fast their pants get pulled up!!

Great poem! Voted up!


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

THAT is too funny teacher. I can just see the panic on their faces. Thank you so much for a great laugh. I needed it.


Alastar Packer profile image

Alastar Packer 5 years ago from North Carolina

Saggers! Had to read this again Hyph...Funny!!! And Righteous!


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Thank you Alastar. I love it too. It was so much fun to write.


mary615 profile image

mary615 5 years ago from Florida

I am a member of the "older generation", and I just can't stand to see these guys with their saggy pants. Even worse, I hate for them to pull up beside my car with their music so loud, it hurts my heart! This Hub was great.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Hi Mary615. This fad makes me ill. Whoever decided others would want to see their underwear? Yewwwww. One time a car with that loud music pulled up beside us at a traffic light. I turned the volume up full blast in my minivan and played my toddler's Itsy Bitsy Spider. You should have seen their faces. Hilarious.

Thanks for coming by and helping me remember that. I needed a good laugh. Regards, Hyph.


mary615 profile image

mary615 5 years ago from Florida

Hi, there's another fad that I just have to mention: when did it become a fashion statement to wear a baseball cap backwards? I hate that, and especially when the guy doesn't take it off long enough to eat. I actually asked a friend of my daughter's who came to dinner to please remove his cap at the table. He did. They seem to be ignorant, and have NO manners. Bye for now.....


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 5 years ago from Dallas, Texas

I had to stiffle myself or milk would have come out of my nose. Yuk yuk yuk. "Take this!" she says. We used to moon people but it was just briefly. Harhar, pun intended.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Hi Peg. You made me laugh too. You are so funny. Thank you for reading Granny. I loved writing this one.


mollymeadows profile image

mollymeadows 4 years ago from The Shire

Go Granny! And as for the saggers, you're so right. Way, way too much information. Do you remember what Fred Sanford on Sanford and Son did when he saw Aunt Esther? "Oh! My eyes! My eyes! That ugly face blinded me!"


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 4 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Hi mollymeadows. I DO remember that now. I had not thought of it in years. Thanks for the memory. You made me laugh and I needed it.


PADDYBOY60 profile image

PADDYBOY60 4 years ago from Centreville Michigan

Wow! Holy cow! Ow!


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 4 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

lol PAddyboy. I gather thatis a good thing?!


PADDYBOY60 profile image

PADDYBOY60 3 years ago from Centreville Michigan

Yes ma'am!


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 3 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Thank you PaddyBoy. This granny had just seen too much that day.


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 3 years ago from Ontario, Canada

LOL. Someone quick buy these guys belts and make sure they're cinched nice and tight.


suzettenaples 3 years ago

Oh, love this one Brenda! Lol. I tell the boys this when I sub all the time. "I don't show you my underwares and I don't want to see yours!" Our schools make them wear athletic shorts under their sagging jeans so it's not so bad. But our in the general public-yikes!


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 3 years ago from Dallas, Texas

I had to refresh myself on this hilarious Granny and The Sagger poetry. The other day driving through a suburban neighborhood I saw a sagger with a red T-shirt and matching underwear of which I saw WAY too much. He was obviously proud of his color coordinated outfit as he kept fiddling with the front. I nearly drove off the road.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 3 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful Author

Hi Susan. I tell you that sometimes I just want to choke them with a pair of suspenders or a belt. I will never understand this phenomenon.

Hello Suzettenaples. I love that. Probably works too. If they don't want to see my granny drawers, they shouldn't show me their own.

Hi PegCole17. These young men need to meet my own Granny. She would make them pull those pants up or get a hickory switch. Thanks for stopping by.

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