Twas the Night Before Christmas

A Parody

With apologies to Clement C. Moore....

'Twas the Night Before Christmas...

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,

the place was in uproar—in hiding: the mouse.

The stockings were tacked to the wall without care,

doubting that Santa would ever be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While plots for sneak-peeking danced in their heads.

Mama in her sweat-suit and I in my chair

Were frantically wrapping a giant stuffed bear.

When out in the kitchen there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the chair to see what was the matter.

Away to the doorway I flew like a flash,

Burst into the kitchen expecting spilled trash.

Photo by Jewelgirls Katz Used by permission.
Photo by Jewelgirls Katz Used by permission.

The cat, on the folds of the white tablecloth,

Had offered a hairball with one mighty cough.

The dishes were scattered all over the floor;

With a sigh and a shrug I returned through the door.

I suddenly realized with a glance at the clock

The time now past midnight—and I am in shock.

The tinsel and wrappings all crinkled and torn

Lay in piles like dirty clothing all worn.

The closet was stuffed beyond closing the door

And all the pressed blouses had slid to the floor.

The wrapping, I finished, the kids fell asleep

I tried to relax, but had to count sheep.

So come if you must, and bring your good cheer,

But I won’t be ready for Christmas till April, next year!

Back Story

I originally wrote this poetic spoof when my children were young, back in the mid 1980's. I have since lost track of that piece of paper, (although I'm sure it is somewhere in my paper chase).

This offering is an attempt to re-create the original spoof from memory. The original, I know was much closer to the full length of the Clement C. Moore poem, correctly titled, A Visit From St. Nick, which inspired my silliness.

The Night Before Christmas or A Visit From St. Nicholas (An Antique Reproduction)
The Night Before Christmas or A Visit From St. Nicholas (An Antique Reproduction)

A reproduction printing of the original style of this fanciful story.

 

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Comments 6 comments

kookoo88 profile image

kookoo88 5 years ago from Cripple Creek

LMAO, they never tell this part. The true story of the night before Christmas. I love it. :)


MimiKat33 profile image

MimiKat33 5 years ago from Northeastern NY State, USA

That HUB was so funny; thank you so much for a good laugh and the feeling we all go through the same chaos that night. LMAO over and over.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 5 years ago from Minnesota

What a talented writer you are-This is hilarious and sounds like Christmas Eve over here. Great hub-Thanks for sharing this:)


DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 5 years ago from Oakley, CA Author

kookoo88; MimiKat33; Minnetonka Twin,

Thanks so much for visiting and for your lovely comments. I'm so glad you enjoyed this bit of nonsense!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

Hi, this is so familiar! ha ha that was great! I definitely prefer your version! have a great Christmas! cheers nell


DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 5 years ago from Oakley, CA Author

Hi, Nell--

Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed it! a blessed Yule to you.

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