ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Twilight: How To Find Your Edward

Updated on September 15, 2010

After the skyrocketing popularity of the Twilight saga and the accompanying movies following it, girls everywhere are looking for their Edward and Jacob. This isn’t limited to teenagers, either.

There is a growing popularity in the adult crowd between the ages of 30 to 45 who are crushing on Mister Cullen and Mister Black. With such heartwrenching comments and stories all over the forums and news articles, they claim they would wait forever for their Edward or Jacob.

Well, Team Edward, wait no longer. Here is how to find your dream come true.

Good luck, girls, and I wish you happily ever after with your Edward!  Don't forget to weed out that annoying Jacob!

(Warning: SPOILERS! By this point, I’m sure none of this is new, though.)

Look! A pale loner.  Sigh.
Look! A pale loner. Sigh.

10. Identify Your Loner.

They are rather easy to spot.  Pale, tall, and gorgeous, they find themselves secretly admired but many avoid them because of pure intimidation factor.  If he catches your curiousity, you could be his Bella.

9. He Acts Like He Hates You.

Walk into a room.  See which male reacts with disgust towards you the most.  If he is the loner you spotted before, then you’re onto something here.  This dude just may be your Edward.

Look of disgust.  Perfect. (Actually, that might be a look of desire for bluuuud!)
Look of disgust. Perfect. (Actually, that might be a look of desire for bluuuud!)

8. That Dude is Avoiding You.

An Edward would stop showing up for days after the first encounter or chat.  This could mean that he is uncertain about you because there is “something” about you. 

7. He Stares At You. A Lot.

When he does show up more often, you catch him staring at you frequently.  It’s probably time to start talking to him more and get to know him.  Chase him, even.  Go all out Bella on him.

6. He Comes To Your Rescue. Often.

You can tell an Edward has a Protect Damsel in Distress complex when he catches your books, saves you from getting hit by a car, saves you from a mob of dudes, saves you from another vampire, and protects you from other evil people.

Perhaps, he comes to your defense when someone gossips about you. Be sure to be embarrassed and humble when this happens. After all, this is the guy of your dreams!

5. He Stalks You. A Lot. And Watches You While You Sleep.

If you catch him stalking you and watching you in your sleep, you’ve got a winner right here.  This could be the Edward you have been dreaming of! Ditch your friends when he stalks you, so that when you catch him doing it, he will take you out to dinner.

It is NOT creepy when a guy breaks into your room to watch you sleep and to imagine drinking your blood.  Don’t blaspheme the awesomeness of Edward!

4. He Says “Romantic” Things

He says things to you like:

  • How good your blood smells
  • He wants to revolve his entire life around you
  • “You are my brand of heroin”
  • “Do I dazzle you?”
  • “You're intoxicated by my very presence.”
  • He could kill you

3. He Takes You To Meet His Family

Basically, he takes you to see his family to play baseball.  This same family also is fascinated by your blood or whatever, and then eventually you get chased by more people who want to kill you.

This couldn’t be any more perfect!  Oh wait, yes it can.

2. After All That Hard Work, He Pushes You Away.

He is incredulous that after one time of pushing you away, you believed him.

1. He Impregnates You, Performs C-Section With His Teeth, And Then Turns You Vampire After All His Protests.

Wow, that was a long one. I think that really said it all.  Nothing could be sexier than this, right?

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)