Wakeful-a poem

Smoke lingers on the lips, fingertips still
trembling
Thunder rattles her core
The patter of raindrops fail to splash away the
pain lathered over her every hope.
Croaks and scratches of critters outside the window
rumba to a tune she recognizes__
one overflowing with want and sorrow.
Her attempts to feel a heartbeat are in vain,
convincing her it no longer works.
Blinking digits of the clock taunt her wide open eyes that
refuse to relent to the sweet relief of slumber.
The train howls, mimicking her tormented soul.
If only she could forget them,
and let life continue
without.
As she tosses, each turn wields a memory
of a different lost love
happiness not forgotten
but long ago extinguished.
A sacrifice willingly made
for a better chance
with something warmer to wrap around her
that won't leave her with nights like this.

Comments 6 comments

James-wolve profile image

James-wolve 3 years ago from Morocco

Awesome and a thought provoking poem.I voted up.


wayne barrett profile image

wayne barrett 3 years ago from Clearwater Florida

Wow. Drew me in. Beautiful!


Max Havlick profile image

Max Havlick 3 years ago from Villa Park, Illinois

This work shows enormous skill and potential. If your experience continues to teach you greater understanding of the enormous difficulties involved in realizing one's deepest yearnings and idealisms in the real world, you have the potential to write great poetry.

Max


ocfireflies profile image

ocfireflies 3 years ago from North Carolina

Nicely executed. The word choice works so well with the theme of the poem. You made me feel the "tremble." Voted up.


Huey19 profile image

Huey19 3 years ago from Chicago Author

ocfireflies, glad you felt the subtle rattles as you read. happy to have your comment and pleased you enjoyed it. thank you for stopping by.

Max, I am always thrilled to read your praise and feedback anywhere. I realize i need to spend some time reworking some of these pieces because i know they can be better. I've quite lost my groove for a while now and have been caught up with reading rather than writing. Hoping to get back into it so i can produce something worthy of your praise. Thank you as always for your words of wisdom :-)


Max Havlick profile image

Max Havlick 3 years ago from Villa Park, Illinois

THE PAINFUL PATH TO LOVE

AN AMERICAN SONNET

Dear Amy, Woman Warrior known by all to slay a few,

to say to you, "My pleasure!" cannot ever say to you

how glad I am to realize that I am me and you are you.

Your complimenting worlds that come to me while I'm asleep

stay here on printed worlds for all the world at large to keep

and show there is another brother world for those who weep

amidst the screeching, howling trains that never seem to sleep,

the blinking digits on the clock that taunt their weary eyes.

the insect taunts of pain and sorrow they can recognize

from their extinguished, unforgotten love's demise.

If I with Amy had all day and nothing more to do,

we would paint thousands more poetic worlds to you,

and still not give the fullest presence of our love for you

as much as someday, somewhere seeing every one of you,

but meanwhile, we give you these worlds, the best that we can do.

From Max to Amy (huey19) (with her help),

and to all who suffer the awful pains of which she writes,

Saturday, August 10, 2013 at 11 a.m. USA Central

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