The World's Worst Pets

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Okay, so you want an unusual pet, not quite the normal dog or cat everyone else seems to get. The kids are pestering for all manner of weird and wonderful pets, and you just can't decide which pets are going to be a good idea, and which are truly going to be the worst pets you could possibly choose to bring in to your family home.

This article is intended to give you a 'heads up' on which pets you will most likely regret taking on, and that you will no doubt want to get rid of from your home within a very short space of time. Please don't take this article too seriously, well, actually perhaps you should, as if you don't and then go on to take on one of these creatures as pets, I certainly don't want you coming back to me to complain that I told you 'not to take my article too seriously', and now you have a smaller family as a result!!!

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In no particular order here goes.......

Hippopotamuses: These take up a lot of room and need a nearby river or lake in order to be truly content. The food bill is very high and the meals take a long time to prepare. They do not make good pets to sit on your lap and if they jump on your bed you had better hope it is reinforced and on the ground floor.

Crocodiles: These have a nasty habit of eating their owners, and if you have a large family be prepared for it to get smaller as your crocodile gets larger! you might also notice other family pets vanishing, and no, Tibbles the cat has not run away again, and yes, your crocodile's poo does appear to have actual cat hair in it. You also need an extensive area of water to keep these exotic pets, preferably not your swimming pool, or at least not if you plan to swim in it at the same time as your pet.

Elephants: You really do need a big garden for these, and plenty of undergrowth. Whilst it is fun feeding them a few peanuts at the local wildlife park, you need one hell of a lot more nuts to feed them at home. They also have a really bad habit of stealing the TV remote when you are in the middle of watching your favourite soaps, and trust me, it is really hard to reach high enough to get the remote back if your elephant has decided it wants to watch the other station.

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Worms: The problem with worms is that they are really disobedient. For a start they never come when they are called and are virtually impossible to train (leads/leashes that fit are also hard to find). They are cheap to feed however, but is it really worth it? You can never let them outside as they always 'run' away and don't return. Additionally they are not interested in being hand fed and refuse to stay on your lap unless you imprison them under a drinking glass.

Daddy Long Legs (Crane Flies): Terrible pets, for a start they die within about 24 hours, and during that time they liberally scatter their legs all over your family home. You will most likely find them drowned in your washing up bowl (not sure why they insist on 'topping' themselves in this rather annoying way). The other problem is that nobody on this earth has ever been told what to feed them, so they would most likely starve to death even if you could keep them alive more than 24 hours.

Slugs: A very messy pet, although they are easy to find if they get lost (just follow the trail). Remember to be very careful what you feed them if you take them on though, putting salt on their food is a definite no no unless you fancy a puddle as a pet. They also lack much in the personality department, yet tend to be quite 'clingy', (try shaking one off when it has crawled on to your hand).


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Octopus and Squid: Great if you need an abundant supply of ink for your ballpoint pen collection, but these make lousy pets overall. You will need a bigger bathroom, and ideally a large saltwater pool if you want these as pets. They do have a sharp beak (ouch), and whilst they may be helpful for opening jars, predicting football match winners and solving puzzles, they are likely to embarrass your children by displaying far superior intelligence and ending up costing you a fortune in college fees.

Kangaroos: Forget Skippy, kangaroos are far higher maintenance than that television series depicted. Apart from the fact you will spend the rest of your days trailing after 'Skippy' as he shows you to yet another child that has carelessly fallen down a well, you will need to learn to fluently translate the series of clicks and squeaks that Skippy makes to you. If you upset Skippy he will most likely display his frustration by kicking you really hard, boxing with you, or even raking out your entrails with his hind legs. Lovely!!!

Sloths: Very boring pets, although they need virtually no exercise and are easy to catch. Possibly a good pet for someone who has little interest in having to walk their pet and is slow moving themselves. You also need to be quite tall for these pets as they stay up trees most of the time, only coming down to earth to do their poop, which can make for a pretty uninspiring pet, i.e. you only get to spend time with them when cleaning up their poo!



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Giraffes: These just don't work well as pets, and are a nightmare if they get a sore throat. As soon as you get the ladder out to give them a good dose of cough syrup, off they go, and you will spend all day running around with a ladder. Giraffes wreck all your prize shrubs and trees from the top downwards, and taking them to the local park for a walk is usually prohibited for this reason, (you also need one hell of a pooper scooper bag).

Wildebeest: These are cute at first glance, however they are migratory animals so you will need in excess of 100,000 miles of land for them to migrate across every year (in other words, a very big garden). The other problem this creates is how to find your pet when you want to make a fuss of it. It seems rather inconvenient to have to wait entire seasons in between clapping eyes on your pet, by which time his matted coat is all but impossible to groom successfully.

Beetles: The obvious problem with these as pets is the fact they will keep breaking into song, and there are only so many times you can cope with listening to 'Hey Jude' or 'Twist and Shout'. It won't be long before the neighbours begin complaining and you are forced to marry your Beetle off to Heather Mills. Rather than inflict such a cruel fate on your pet beetle, it is better to leave them to their own devices and choose yourself a lower maintenance pet like Sea Monkeys.



And Finally

I really hope this article has given you some good ideas for which pets you probably should avoid and why. The best pets for most families are always going to be pets such as cats, dogs, rabbits and guinea-pigs. Wild animals are never a good idea!

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Comments 30 comments

Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan

Nice hub, here in Japan. Octopus and squid are common pets for some, untill its dinner time.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

LOl Hezekiah, sounds like they are short lived pets then!!


purp-drag913 profile image

purp-drag913 4 years ago from West Michigan, USA.

I protest!! Sloths can make great pets. You pointed out yourself they're low maintence. You can always cut a hole in a kitty pool, put a "tree" in the middle of it and have your pet monkey scoop up the mess. As for heights, use your giraffe latter to climb up to pet him. I can't believe you would write such a horrible hub!!... ;o) Just kidding, of course.

If you haven't erased me and reported me to hp for abuse, I have to tell this is one of the cleverest, (is there such a word?), and creative hubs I've read yet. It's totally awesome, and I loved the pictures too. You rock and you have a new fan.


Lela Bryan profile image

Lela Bryan 4 years ago from Alameda, CA

Very interesting..... How do you come up with your topics! Have you had a weird pet???


diogenes 4 years ago

You forgot skunks and Black Mambas...get out of here, Missy!! Bob


stylezink profile image

stylezink 4 years ago from Atlanta, GA.

Hilarious! Great Hub! I'll have to hurt my sons feelings about the elephant. If they take a TV remote they'll surely take his Xbox remote. I don't think my son will deal with that too well.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi purp-drag, lol, thanks for the ideas, oh and of course the lovely compliments :)


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi Lela,

I just felt a little silly last night so decided to write something a bit lighthearted. This idea sprung to mind after watching footage of an couple who actually do have a pet Hippo that sleeps on a full size mattress in their front room. Oh, and yes, I have had some odd pets myself, including sea-monkeys, stick insects and geese.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi Bob, wow, how on earth did I forget those. Perhaps I will do a sequel hub at some point :)


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi Stylezink, that is a very good point, and I hear they are pretty hot at playing on the XBox too.


doodlebugs profile image

doodlebugs 4 years ago from Southwest

Sugar gliders are another one to avoid. They are messy little things that take a lot of care.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

LOL doodlebugs, I shall make a mental note of that :)


midnightbliss profile image

midnightbliss 4 years ago from Hermosa Beach

fun hub, i love having pets but never thought of having one in your list. i prefer reptiles and fishes.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi Midnightbliss, perhaps I should have included sharks on my list too :)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

Hi, And I so wanted an Elephant! darn! I think I already have a sloth, its called my son! he doesn't stay up a tree though, but maybe if you call the tree a bed then we are getting somewhere! I would like an Octopus, not only for the ink but the lotto, probably do better than me! really funny hub, cheers nell


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks Nell, I hope your Son doesn't expect you to clean up his poo when he occasionally emerges!!

Glad you enjoyed the hub :)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

Not got that far yet! lol but he does keep yelling, 'cup of tea' ha ha


Paradise7 profile image

Paradise7 4 years ago from Upstate New York

LOL! I still want a giraffe, for some crazy reason!


Hubertsvoice 4 years ago

But I have always wanted a hippotamus for Christmas. The song said it was ok. Oh Darn!


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Sorry Hubertsvoice, they just don't make good pets at all, and there are also so few places you are allowed to take them. The local pubs and bars will definitely not allow them in and if you go to the park you can't get them out of the duck pond.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Oh Paradise, what am I going to do with you. You know deep down a giraffe will be a terrible pet. I mean look at how much exercise it will need for those long legs for a start, and you will never fit it in the back of the car unless you have a sun roof either.


Hubertsvoice 4 years ago

I suppose that I will have to live with my disappointment.


MPG Narratives profile image

MPG Narratives 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

I grew up with someone who owned 3 kangaroos. Mind you they had a huge yard (the size of a small farm), they had to pay a yearly fee to keep them and the 'roos were definitely a lot of work!

My daughter now has a friend who owns a bird, 3 fish, 2 bearded dragons and 2 axolotl. Oh, and she occasionally looks after our dog. That's what I call a pet lover.

Funny hub, really enjoyed reading it.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks for commenting MPG Narratives, wow, 3 kangaroos, that is a huge undertaking. I am assuming they learned fluent 'skippy' by the end of it, and had rescued thousands of children from the bottom of wells ;)

Glad you enjoyed the hub.


Harlan Colt profile image

Harlan Colt 4 years ago from the Rocky Mountains

I found this very entertaining - good job. One item of note, in the US a Daddy Long Leg is a spider. It's actually one of our most poisonous spiders, but its mouth is so small, it cannot bite you. Their legs are so long and fragile one can be disabled just brushing it away with a garden hand tool, or your hand. I am always fascinated at the little cultural differences between the US and the UK. Yes we speak the same language, and sometimes... not exactly.

Too cool.

Great hub dear.

- Harlan


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Thanks for sharing that info Harlan, I never knew about the Spider connection with Daddy Long Legs. Hopefully in the US the word Crane Fly might make sense at least :)

Great to see you on my Hub by the way :)


Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie 4 years ago from Euroland

Ha, I liked that collection Misty, good fun. I reckon a sloth would be pretty good for me.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

Hi Mark, thanks so much for visiting here :) I take it you don't mind a pet you only see when it poos then? Are you also tall? I would suggest you might be better off with a bear, in fact in your case a 'pooh bear' based on your recent excellent hubs :)


Mark Ewbie profile image

Mark Ewbie 4 years ago from Euroland

I'm tall and lazy. A pet that doesn't move much would suit quite well. As a dog owner I'm used to poo, so sloth business would be OK. "Up your tree" I'd say sternly to it.


mistyhorizon2003 profile image

mistyhorizon2003 4 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands) Author

LOL Mark, that is so funny. I can just see you ordering your sloth by saying 'Up your tree' sternly to it.

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