When Trying Isn't Good Enough

I hate new things

They make my skin crawl

I get a nervous itch and I constantly say silently to myself do I have to

I look for any way I can to avoid doing something new

I am like a little kid who plays with his food when he doesn't want to eat

I squirm in my seat

If I can remember that far back I thnk I did it once and my father didn't put up with that

Now I am older and my father isn't here to tell me Stop that !

I have to face my hardest challanges head on

I can not procrastinate any longer

What good will it do?

I only have to do it again anyway

It will take me longer and I could be done by now

But I know the truth but my brain still doesn't comprehend

I am alright doing something new on my own

But there is that but again

When someone else makes me change and I have a choice

Then I have a little room for slack and slacking is what I will do

I will find anything under the sun to fill up my time so I don't have to do what I was told to do

Well it is a working progress and this is the first time I put it on paper

So I am admitting my mistakes and now have to follow through with my own advice

I knew I should of hit delete when I had the chance

Another mistake in the new year I will have to deal with

That is all for now and soon I will curse each word I typed

Because this is the way I struggle day and night