Why Did He Have To Shoot Her?

Not All Experience Is Good Experience

If you have read any of my other hubs, then you already know that I have lived in several other countries, all considered third world or developing third world. While the majority of our experiences were incredible and fun, there were times when bad things happened and we had absolutely no control over the outcome. This was one of the worst.

We lived in Guyana, South America for two years and we watched the changes of this country as it tried to become more like it's first-world counterparts. Not all of these changes were good, but they must have felt like it brought them closer to how the more affluent nations lived when they encouraged tourism and added franchised fast food restaurants. When we had first arrived, all the gas stations were full-service. You were not allowed to pump your own gas, but we didn't mind because it was providing someone with a much needed job. About a year later a few of the gas stations began to allow self-service. I guess they thought it was progress.

Signs Are There For A Reason

Old Style Gas Pumps Still In Use
Old Style Gas Pumps Still In Use

I Still Have Nightmares

One day there were several of us going into Georgetown and we stopped to get fuel. While we were pumping our gas, a lady pulled up on the other side of the pump and awkwardly fumbled with the nozzle. We could tell that this was probably her first time putting fuel into her car because not only was she really bad at it, she also pulled the trigger before the nozzle was inserted in the tank and sloshed gas onto her arm and blouse.

While our tank was filling, we were sitting in our vehicle feeling sorry for her because she was smelly now and had gas on her skin, which will burn after awhile. While we were feeling bad at her expense, she did something that made our jaws drop open.

SHE STARTED TO LIGHT A CIGARETTE!! Before we even had a chance to yell out, the sleeve of her blouse caught fire. We were all motionless for a few seconds and she was FREAKING out. Some of us tried to get out of the car, but she was already screaming and jumping around. Right before this had happened, a police officer had pulled into the parking lot to go into the store. He was already out of his car and walking to the building when the woman saw him. She was really flailing around at this point as she rushed towards him and that is when it happened.

The policeman only had about two seconds to analyze the situation, and then he did something that haunts me to this day. He yelled for her to stop and then,

HE DREW HIS GUN AND SHOT HER!!

We were stunned and were asking the question that probably involuntarily came out of your mouth as you read this, "Why did he have to shoot her?"

The Answer: He really didn't have a choice. I mean, really, think about it. She did come running at him waving a fire arm.

Will You Ever Forgive Me?

I am so sorry for all of you who totally fell for that, but it is a day for practical jokes, and that is my all-time favorite joke to tell. It is so much better in person because first I can preface it with some "real" experiences and then when I tell this one I can make my voice get all tense and wavery......classic. The real key is to pause after you say, "...he shot her!" Don't say a word and it never fails that someone will ask, "Why did he have to shoot her?" or something very close.

I love practical jokes and am feeling a little giddy right now even before I post this. I hope you will all appreciate this hub with the same spirit it was written in. All in good fun. I am sure I will hear about it though. Cheers.

Below are just some videos I found that sort of apply. One the girl really does start a fire and in the other the girl is just an idiot.

Not A Smoking Accident, But A Fire At The Gas Pump All The Same

Just A Funny Gas Pump Video

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Comments 63 comments

annemaeve profile image

annemaeve 8 years ago from Philly Burbs

YOU ARE SO, SO BAD! I was totally hooked! It was definitely the element of realism that drew me in. You are truly a master storyteller, Rhym, and also very, very funny.


In The Doghouse profile image

In The Doghouse 8 years ago from California

Classic April Fools! Great job!


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

I am giggling even now...I can't help it. Thanks for being so gracious annemaeve, even though I enjoyed every minute of it.

Glad to hear from you In The Doghouse. I've got to check and see what you've been up to lately.


donnaleemason profile image

donnaleemason 8 years ago from North Dakota, USA

You had me, great job.

Donna


MrMarmalade profile image

MrMarmalade 8 years ago from Sydney

As I have seen some one do exactly what you have told her, I did not laugh.

Man am I so pleased that this was only the first of April

Great Story good behaviour on your part.

thank you I am laughing now.


SirDent 8 years ago

I must admit that you really got me with this one. Better watch yourself cause I've been known to get even at times.


mroconnell profile image

mroconnell 8 years ago from France

ooh meanie!


annemaeve profile image

annemaeve 8 years ago from Philly Burbs

Oh, ha, ha, I just noticed that your last tag is "April Fools". Sneaky!


John Chancellor profile image

John Chancellor 8 years ago from Tennessee

Never saw that one coming. Excellent job of setting us up.


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

I am so glad you are all being such good sports, because I really can't say I'm sorry and have anyone believe it.

Thank you SirDent for putting me on notice. I will be watching.


G-Ma Johnson profile image

G-Ma Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

wow you little rascal...you got me big time...naughty naughty...I think gamegirl started all this today along with..oh I can't think of his name..awwww darn it anyway..I did laugh though at the last video...funnnny...also will be checking "tags " More closely now ? G-Ma :o) hugs


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thanks G-Ma, that one cracked me up too.


Hazok profile image

Hazok 8 years ago from Malaysia

i was too "omg" atage to get the joke at first. Cruel, very cruel. A good joke though. Fire Arm, ha. i'll remember this. Thanks


funride profile image

funride 8 years ago from Portugal

Great one! LOL You fooled me with the title but after a while I remember which day it was yesterday and it was just too much that lady tring to fire a cigaret :D


Sally's Trove profile image

Sally's Trove 8 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

Sorry, you didn't get me. I've been so busy lately, all I've had time for on HubPages is to follow my favorite hubbers around reading their comments and skimming new hubs. On this hub, I started reading the comments before the text of the hub. How dumb was that?

Another awesome one from Rhym!


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Yes, it is a little cruel Hazok, but you need a little bit of that to be a successful prankster. Otherwise you would never be able to go through with it, right? You'll have fun telling this one.

I'll admit to trying to decieve you Funride, but you can't get everyone. Glad it make you laugh. I like your new picture too, btw.


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Oh Sally's Trove, I am very glad you read the comments first.  You are way to nice to be mean to.  Oops, that makes it sound like everyone else isn't as nice.....they'll get over it.

I do the same thing though, in a way.  I also don't have time to read every single hub that is published, so I rely on the judgement of other hubbers I enjoy and respect.  I guess that is why I seem to follow you around.


Nancy B. profile image

Nancy B. 8 years ago from Kansas City, MO

Wow, oh, wow, you are one sick puppy, and I mean that in the same spirit as your hub.


marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites 8 years ago from USA

Ok, I''m one out of all the others...but I really didn't think it was funny.  Maybe it's my mood lately...but well   I just didn't -  sorry.  Too much realism in my life lately... ya know?

However, even tho they were also scarey...the videos were good....so -- you're forgiven.  I WILL keep reading you tho....onward,  Marisue


tjmum profile image

tjmum 8 years ago from Isle of Wight

You got me on this one - had me hook line and sinker! Thanks for the tips and now I will be looking at tags before I delve into a hub!


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

I can handle being a sick puppy, Nancy, especially since you said it so nicely.  Have you ever heard any music by Sick Puppies?  "All the Same" is really good.

Don't feel bad tjmum, you weren't the only one being "reeled in".  Looks can certainly be decieving.


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Dear Marisue,

As in all jokes, it is not going to go over well for everyone. Those are the ones I did have some pangs of regret over, and I am sorry it hit you the wrong way. Thank you for forgiving me. Two more things......1) I noticed that you have lots of new hubs that look really interesting that I can't wait to get to and 2) I really hope your hub picture is not you in your real office. That would make me crazy!


marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites 8 years ago from USA

thanks for understanding....humor is a personal thing....

sometimes I can take the Cable guy. gitterdone...and sometimes he's just not funny at all...ha

No, the picture is one i use to show that "writing" is overwhelming at times....it normally gets a laugh....I feel like that inside sometimes  hahah  and I think i've lost my husband in that pile somewhere.....Lynn?  Hellopop?


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

I know the feeling, but my mess is an organized mess.  I pretty much know where everything is, but it looks like chaos to anyone else.  Ciao


marisuewrites profile image

marisuewrites 8 years ago from USA

sometimes after i reach a goal....i feel like that desk looks....ha Marisue


monitor profile image

monitor 8 years ago from The world.

Oh man, Got me. I am always falling for this kind of stuff. I love a laugh so great work.

Thank you.

Mon.


Chris J. Evans profile image

Chris J. Evans 8 years ago

damn.  and i wasnt even saying "what did he shoot her?"  I guess when U.S. police officers lay out dozens of shots at deaf-dumb men waving rakes and other sort of incidences random here, such an incident in south america wasn't something i was doubting.  Either way, it was a good trick and most unexpected, which makes it soo good.  


DJ Funktual profile image

DJ Funktual 8 years ago from One Nation Under a Groove

Wow, great job! I totally fell for it! Classic. April Fool's extends to the 26th this year I guess. Where you been anyway?


Dorsi profile image

Dorsi 8 years ago from The San Francisco Bay Area

Bad bad girl!! You got me good!!!lol........


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Hey DJF, I know, I know, I have been sorely lacking in the hubbing these days, but I have two jobs and a house to remodel....and still trying to have some kind of social life. I also have this bad trait in that I don't want to do something unless I can do it really well. The need to excel or pride.....whatever, but it extends even to making hub comments. I don't like to half-*** 'em. If someone goes to all the effort to make a really good hub, they deserve a real comment.

Soooo, I will try to find more time, cause you are getting way to far ahead of me. I liked the last picture of you at the beach btw, but this is cool too. See ya.


C.S.Alexis profile image

C.S.Alexis 8 years ago from NW Indiana

Got Me Too! Good For You.


CJStone profile image

CJStone 8 years ago from Whitstable, UK

Here's my favourite joke.

A woman went into a bar and ordered a double entendre.

So the barman gave her one.

Boom boom. I liked your joke too.


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 8 years ago from California

Ok, that was hilarious. I'm going to link to this where I link to funny stuff in my own pale attempts at humor too. I'm suck a sucker too, I was so there until the end. I feel so used! ROFL


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thanks CJ, I love one-liners as much as story jokes.  My current fave is:  A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Where's the bartender?"  Badaboom


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Hey Shadesbreath, I can't believe you really did put a link on one of your hubs! That is really cool, thanks. I obviously dont know what I am doing, but if anyone wants to be entertained by real wit, they need to visit:http://hubpages.com/entertainment/Top-10-Ways-to-B... or

http://hubpages.com/literature/Water-to-Gas-vs-Sel...


hutchinsonm profile image

hutchinsonm 8 years ago from Idaho

You had me with the story but I am glad it was just a joke. That second video though - hysterical. Thanks


cvaughn570 8 years ago

I am late in finding this hub, but I had to let you know that you really had me :-)

Wonderful writing!

Carol


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

I am glad you enjoyed it hutchinsonm, and that you liked the videos. They cracked me up too.

Thank you so much, Carol, for the nice words, but you aren't late at all. Even though it was posted around April 1st, it is a timeless story that can be told whenever the timing is right. Classic.


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

LOL! You had me so suckered in... :) well done!


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thanks Spryte but I guess I need to beware of having bad Karma now, or maybe I earned good Karma, I am not sure how that works. Maybe I'll go kiss a kitten just to be safe:)


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA

Just remember Rhym...no TONGUE! I found out the hard way that they really don't go for that sorta thing.


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

I would never have considered that in the first place....at least not on the first kiss!


RickC 8 years ago

Ouch---You had me all the way. Great Story. You deserve a good flame or two for that story.


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thanks RickC, but I think it may be my turn to say "Ouch". Not exactly sure what you meant, unless you are suggesting that I deserve to spend a little time in H*ll as a penance. What a tough critic! Don't worry though, I am being properly punished as I live in Texas and the temp right now is pretty dang close. We even had a few flames in the forecast:) Thanks for commenting.


Veronica Bright profile image

Veronica Bright 8 years ago from Nebraska

Hmmm, my Son tells Practical joke stories too....He gets "the look" from me. Consider yourself having had "the look"...lol


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

I live for the look.....and if it is even close to your kitty pic,then I think I can handle it. :)


Chef Jeff profile image

Chef Jeff 8 years ago from Universe, Milky Way, Outer Arm, Sol, Earth, Western Hemisphere, North America, Illinois, Chicago.

I just found this hub and I am laughing out loud in my favorite coffee shop (Carabou Coffee) and the people wanted to know what was so funny. I showed them and now we are all laughing!

Thanks!


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Wow, can't do better than getting a whole group of strangers laughing. My job here is done. Thanks for the input.


Brainstormer profile image

Brainstormer 8 years ago from Australia

I loved the image of you writing and giggling to this one and when the comments started coming in giggling some more.

I don't being suckered in like that. I am way to cool for that. I fell for it hook line and sinker and that is a fact.


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

I know, Brainstormer, it's terrible, but I totally did.  I still do.   I guess I have just a bit of a sadistic streak.  You, on the other hand, are still way in the cool catagory.  You can't help it if your coolness is no match for my skills! :) 

Thank you very much for the fab fan mail, btw.  Enough to make this girl blush.


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 8 years ago from St. Louis

Hey, Rhym. You know, in my short 3 weeks here, I have come across this title a few times, but never clicked on it figuring it was going to be a downer. Another abused woman story. I mean, I think it's terrible, but I just didn't want to hear about it right then, you know? But then we became friendly (I hope you feel like we are friends) and I have this itsy bitsy crush on you which you probably havn't noticed because I am the master of subtlety and intrigue, so, off to read it I went.

I was totally suckered! At the end (but before the punch line) I had my hand over my mouth in horror, not that I was so shocked by her, but rather I felt so BAD for YOU, having to witness what must have shocked you (and I felt a little protective - not that that is any of my business - and also ridiculous, since you can probably handle youself pretty well). I have seen some things and very little shocks me, but you, dear girl, your innocent eyes!

SUCKER! It came as such a total and complete surprise that I laughed loud and hard. The best laugh in a long time! It is very difficult to transfer a verbal joke into a written one, but you succeeded in spectacular fashion.

Congratulations on a great hub.

Your Pal


Cailin Gallagher profile image

Cailin Gallagher 8 years ago from New England

Another great urban myth story. You had me totally. LOL


Rhym O'Reison 8 years ago

Thanks Cailin, this is one of my favorites to tell. Gets people everytime.


Juliet Christie profile image

Juliet Christie 7 years ago from Sandy Bay Jamaica

You had me is such a suspense.I believed it and felt so sorry for the poor lady.A good one really.


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 7 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thanks Juliet.  I find that the following quotes always hold true, at least they do for me....“The emotions of the reader are affected by suspense more than by any other factor.” Sol Stein

“If you want to hold your readers, give them something to worry about.” Ayn Rand 

I like to make people laugh just about as much as I like to keep them in suspense.  The best is when you can do both.


roastedpinebark profile image

roastedpinebark 7 years ago from Iowa

wow, you are an incredible story teller and that was, well, im gonna say im still deciding if it is hilarious or if im scared to death... : )


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 7 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

High praise indeed from a spy thriller guy. I appreciate your taking the time to read my stuff as well leaving such a flattering comment.


John Z profile image

John Z 6 years ago from Midwest

Verrrry Funny.


lovelypaper profile image

lovelypaper 6 years ago from Virginia

That was hilarious! I was thinking how stupid she was for lighting that cigarette. That was great!


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 6 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thanks. I love telling this story.


Angelique Loux profile image

Angelique Loux 6 years ago from Ohio

You had me. I really was thinking it was true because of a new show locked up abroad. It's a good one though. Thanks for sharing. I will be happy to follow you.


emilybee profile image

emilybee 4 years ago

You did an excellent job at increasing the suspense! Especially with the first paragraph, I prepared for the worse. Great hub!


Rhym O'Reison profile image

Rhym O'Reison 4 years ago from Crowley, Tx Author

Thanks Emilybee, it is way more fun to tell it in person though :)

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