Winter Moods, Routine.

It is 6.15 am, the alarm sounds, my partner stirs and turns over with the very familiar nudge, "alarm's gone off Nettie", "just 10 minuet snooze love please". How I want to cling to my bed, all these early morning starts for work are beginning to take their toll on me. What I would give for a lye on. Just one morning under the duvet, cozy, warm and asleep. I lye on, looking at the dark shadows cast from the wardrobe, the small amount of light escaping under the door from the landing, and I know I have to get up. Just another day, doing the same old things in the same old way. Routine, bahhh I just want to escape.

Why can't I be a princess in a castle awaiting the arrival of her gallant knight. Or even a damsel in distress awaiting some charming gentleman to save me. Instead I stumble blindly into the bathroom, usual routine, wash, toilet, teeth clean, puff of the old perfume, Paris, the one I wear for work. Not daring, and not too strong as to annoy my clients I care for. Downstairs to be greeted my muffled yaps, J.P and Bouncer lying quietly on the sofa. Eyes blinking to catch up with the light I have just turned on. "Come on boys, out you go, do wee wees".

Look at the time, to late for breakfast. I just grab a banana and a glass of water and dash out of the door to the car. It is still dark outside, foggy, Oh no that is all I need. Window wipers on intermittent, and I can feel the damp coldness inside the car and hope it wont be too long before the engine warms up. Dashing along the country lanes, up and down the hills with the fog bouncing back through the light from the car headlights. A young Badger is running up the road in front of me. I can see the rain drops bristling on his coat. I think to myself no dull routine for you Mr Badger, life is full of surprises for you. At last I pull up outside Jonny's house.

I sit for a moment, look up at Jonny's bedroom window to see his light is not turned on yet. Outside Jonny's dad is filling up his works van. Cement, bricks, watering can, just another day like mine, only different. I walk up the driveway, "Morning Annette", "Morning Davey". Always the same greeting, always the same time of day, always just walking into the house. Jonny is not at school today, he has a week off for half term, I don't need to rush to shower him this morning.

I go into the garage to check if any washing needs attending to, on coming back into the kitchen I see the dirty breakfast dishes in the sink, I give a sigh, ohhh more dishes and roll up my sleeves and get stuck in.

Jonny lives in a tastefully converted school house, still a work in progress because Davey, like the cobbler, does not like to work at home. I love the warmth from the aga and the sun just beginning to break through the blinds in the conservatory. Bosun, the dog is sitting anxiously awaiting his breakfast, Davey's job, and the two cats are just stretching from their beds in front of the aga. The dawn of another new day. It looks like I have even beaten the cockerel this morning, who as yet hasn't welcomed the day in with his morning wake up call.

I tidy the kitchen and see that Davey has already made the porridge for breakfast, the same pot, the same porridge, sitting in the same bowls, on the same place on the aga. I now wonder up the stairs, all is quiet. I slowly open Jonny's bedroom door, it is very dark inside. I walk quietly and kneel gently by the bed, "Morning Jonny," I say quietly, and Jonny stirs, getting up on his knees rubbing his eyes. "Morning Annette", he says. "Eyes closed whilst I turn the light on" Jonny covers his eyes with his hands and then suddenly the light shines and there is Jonny holding his friend, Brown Thomas, his much loved and beaten teddy bear. "I'm going to work now Jonny", Davey shouts up the stairs, "Bye daddy", the usual reply.

Jonny and I walk to the bathroom, Jonny sits on the toilet and I put his towel to warm on the radiator, take off his watch and his pyjamas and help him to sit on his chair in the shower. We laugh together has in the usual routine, Jonny splashes me with water, my trousers are wet, water splashing over my feet and running down my arms. "No it's not hair washing day today darling", I tell him trying desperately to keep his head from under the shower spray. Oh how Jonny laughs. He is such a handsome teenager, dark hair, piercing blue eyes. He is a joy to work with. Today we don't put the school uniform on, I bring him jeans and a t.shirt and a huddy, today we are wearing trainers, not the heavy black school shoes. Jonny is so thrilled to be on holiday.

Sam is up now, Jonny's younger brother and the house wakens. Noise and laughter, slamming doors, shouting at Bosun and rummaging through the fridge for something different for breakfast. Sam does not due routine, he will not eat porridge. Now the real fun starts. Jonny suffers with a mental illness following an accident two years ago, and Sam is a tormentor, always winding Jonny up to the point that fights start. Although Jonny is the size and build of any other twelve year old he has the mind of a five year old. I have to be really careful now. I don't want to stop another fight.

Jonny eats his porridge with a little assistance from me, whilst Sam enjoys a plate of pancakes. Jonny may take a pancake to, if he stays in a good mood. I sit back and look at Jonny who is such a lovely child and wonder what the world has in store for him. He is simply the sweetest boy you could wish to meet. We are close and very good friends and as each day goes by I can see the improvements in his ability. I am looking forward to the lighter nights and warmer days and then Jonny and I will play ball, and go for walks and possibly visit the zoo. But for now we only have routine.

It's 8.15 am and my turn to move on to another client. "See you later alligator" I call to Jonny "In a while crocodile" he says back, but hey, this isn't routine, as he runs to give me a hug.

I am home now for a break. Time for my breakfast. Bacon and a cup of tea, always the same, always the same time, sitting in the same place. I look into the garden, the holly tree, it's branches laden heavily with rain drops almost about to cascade down, the railway type fence is looking a little sad, and the gate into the rear garden could do with a new hinge. Always the same thoughts.

The weather is very dull, although mild, and of course it is still raining but the fog has lifted. I look and admire the crocus bulbs stretching up looking for the sun, soon to open their leaves to reveal the most beautiful shade of purple flowers. Alongside them the snow drops are doing the same. There are buds on the trees and shrubs, and the air is full of birdsong. The same routine, the same time of day, same time of year.

I am now awaiting the arrival of spring, a new season, a new routine and many of the old familiar summer clothes to be worn. Must look in the wardrobe this afternoon and check if I need any new t-shirts. Still routine,same time of day, same time of year. How I want to break away.