Writing the Elements ( Air and Water )

For more information on The Alchemy Index, click link
For more information on The Alchemy Index, click link | Source

This is my first of two hubs I will post, each containing two elements, paired with a song from Thrice's "Alchemy Index".


Please click play on the video above each one before you begin to read it. I feel they convey the element through sound so well. They aren't actual videos, just the songs I picked.


Once again, I am experimenting with form, feeling, and now, adding music to my writing. Feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks :]

The Alchemy Index - AIR



Winds are whispering
Sweet nothings are dealt
Carried by something
Not seen, only felt


Wings glide across time
Life breathes and develops
Pass into skyline
Atmosphere envelopes


Breeze toward the sun
Adrift into clouds
Float beyond ocean
Condensation surrounds


              Not ablaze
          Not flowing
     Not crumbling


Simply…
         Being




© copyright Ben D.A 2011

The Alchemy Index - WATER




Dive under the surface

of cool, blue hydration

Descend, finding purpose,

escaping flotation


Lungs filled with water,

                  were lungs meant for air

                                      Poseidon can’t enter

                                                       into human affairs


Attempting to swim,

                   as you presently drown

                                      Giving up, giving in

                                                         to the ocean’s renown


Ice created...

                  when frozen


Destroys flame...

                    by collision


Earth softened...

                     absorption


When air enters...

                         ascension



© copyright Ben D.A 2011

Comments 14 comments

JadedLove 5 years ago

What beauty Ben, You may not know this but I love the elements. Your piece on water is amazing, but I found that how you closed your words to be left open beautiful.

Ice created...

when frozen

Destroys flame...

by collision

Earth softened...

absorption

When air enters...

ascension

Great words.


crystolite profile image

crystolite 5 years ago from Houston TX

Great poem,i love it.thanks dear.


Elizabeth99 profile image

Elizabeth99 5 years ago from Milwaukee, WI

I really like the second one a lot. I have an extreme fear of swimming though it used to be one of my favorite things to do. All of a sudden one day I could not get in the water and when I did I almost drown... funny how fast things change. I really like the song pairings too, very good and help the poems a lot!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

Of course - you must do Fire and Earth! I'm looking forward to them! :-)


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Nellie - that comment made my day, right before I go into work!! :]

I'm very glad the music and words conveyed what I designed them to. It was my intention and hope that the music would create chills, and give the element's vibe and feeling.

It appears I succeeded thus far. My 50th hub will be Fire and Earth, each paired with Thrice's unbelievable work.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

OHMYGOSH. These give me goosebumps, they are so good. I'm reminded of George Winston's music depicting seasons, except with your musical choices (which I just love!) there are your words which complete the sensual experience of these elements. I am speechless.

Ben - you'll be discovered and sought out for a bigger audience. Just keep doing what you do - - following your own bright inner light and your muse's lead. You really are good, guy.


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

Mentalist - thank you kind sir

Nikki - thats great! rly?! I had no idea if the music would serve its purpose. thank you


Nikkij504gurl profile image

Nikkij504gurl 5 years ago from Louisiana

great songs and great words! the music fits the element. i felt like i was listening to air and then water. good job.


Mentalist acer profile image

Mentalist acer 5 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

Earthly organic and cool Ben.;)


SeenButNotHeard profile image

SeenButNotHeard 5 years ago from Michigan

No, it popped up and said it wasn't playable for some reason, but it's working now


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 5 years ago from Near the Ocean

I couldn't read the first one and listen to the music.... maybe I have ADD or something. Really liked the poem when I turned it off though. The second song I adored, but was sad that you portrayed my beloved water as negative thing. I'm just gonna sit here with this music for while....


BenWritings profile image

BenWritings 5 years ago from Save me from, Tennessee Author

maybe you dont have it turned up? the song starts very quietly.

Thank you very much, Seen!


SeenButNotHeard profile image

SeenButNotHeard 5 years ago from Michigan

These are phenomenal xD I seriously felt a light breeze lol Great words, even better rhymes. The water video isn't working though >:(


Donnie Lifer profile image

Donnie Lifer 5 years ago from Sri Lanka

Love that band.

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