Losing Someone I Never Really Had

MAYBE, it was the sound of his melodious voice,

That keeps echoing inside my head,

Or his whimsical ways of making fun,

Of just about anything in grace.

MAYBE, it was his soulful eyes,

That means more than I can interpret,

Or about his untold agony,

That I have been wanting to mend.

MAYBE, it was his relentless faith,

That calls me for a second look,

Or that an impossible wish to have his heart a captive,

But he might not be able to get off & to get unhook.

MAYBE, it was his unspoken sensitivity,

That is not skin-deep for me to easily see,

Or what seems to be his arrogant remark,

Was an awkward conversation-starter for us to be.

MAYBE, it was just my persistent series of dreams,

Of him that wakes me up each night,

I see myself crying helplessly,

Under the question of what is right.

YOU have brought me back to my knees,

Praying back to Him & begging,

That these feelings can release me,

Because I know you are “Love”,

That I won’t ever be able to call mine.

IN THE LONG MILE’S stretch,

Love is holding someone else’s hand,

Love is caring someone else’s heart,

Love is caged because of someone else’s love.

AT A DISTANCE,

Let me protect myself from getting hurt,

Of not measuring up to any of your fantasies,

And of not being the kind of Love you want to see in Me.

AT A DISTANCE,

Let me care for you in sheer friendship,

That though, I can’t have you,

I can still be a part of your life story.

AT A DISTANCE,

Let me continue praying for you,

That she can give the love I wanted to give,

That she can live in your life where I wanted to be.

AT A DISTANCE,

Allow me to marry rhymes with reasons,

In the worlds I create in words,

Until we can finally call each other Home.