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Whatever…No Problem… Help!

Updated on March 10, 2012

The viewpoint expressed here is mine - get your own!

The English language is a strange and wonderful creature, often having a life of its own, created by men but obfuscated by teens.

I’m not talking about the strange abbreviations that instant messaging and short message services have created, rather the precision which certain words can replace sentences and even whole trains of thought.

One of my favorites is “whatever”.

Take this hypothesis:

We are having a discussion and I am making some interesting points on the procedures needed to get from one realistic event to another.

You could reply that you can understand my viewpoint and that the train of thought I have expressed, rather being meaningful to your interests, you have decided that the events described are outside of the scope of your actions and have no relevance to the conversation we were having.

But you say “whatever” instead.

A short and sweet answer that refuses to validate my points or concerns of the subject at hand, whatever it was. Frustrating.

Another one of my favorites is “No problem”.

I am told this at least once a day and it is very frustrating because of the venue and intention in which this cordial task ender is offered.

Do you see yourself in this everyday event?

While being served at a fast food restaurant, the young staffer obediently taking your order and then providing you with your food you offer then a happy “Thank you” and the reply you receive is not the normal and universally understood “You’re welcome” but instead a “No problem”.

Just what the hell is that supposed to mean “No problem”?

It certainly was not my intention, as a customer, to offer a problem to be solved by some young person. I was hungry, I ordered and paid for my food… I even thanked them… why would that possibly be a problem.

Aren’t they being paid for their service after all, especially from my own wallet as a customer?

No problem. Maybe they mean ”Don’t give me a problem, please sir, because before I handed you your bag of food I ate half of the French fries”, because I could see that being a problem.

I like my fries.

If you were born in the 90’s or 00’s (that’s the 1990’s and 2000’s for those of you born into the digital age) then you only need to know two things to get through life: YouTube.com and 911.

YouTube is a wealth of information with almost every fact and viewpoint expressed in a meaningful way, every educational precept explained and every relationship event walked through.

YouTube will aid you in your search for experience.

911, on the other hand (999 in the UK) will help you when that experience gets out of hand and you’ve caused a catastrophe and you need to speak to someone that will actually speak back and offer you immediate help. Like when your girlfriend caught you cheating and has lit a fire to your clothes using common household ingredients that she mixed according to a video she saw.

YouTube and 911, we’ve come so far in so short a time.

No problem, really.


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