Funny Thing About That.......

There is a lot of funny things in life when you think about them long enough. For example I find it really funny that beauticians tell you that using cool water makes your hair shinier and is actually less damaging to your hair. Now, this sounds like it would be sensible, however, I have never been to a beauticial that didn't try to boil the skin from my skull with the hot water they wash my hair with! On the other hand, they say not to pull or tug on your hair because it would cause breakage, yet I have often wondered if the herniated discs I have in my neck may have been from the snatches by the hands of my beautician.

I also noticed that when you are admitted to the hospital with an illness, the doctor will tell you to get plenty of rest only to leave you in the hands of relentless caretakers who insist that you should be woken up every half hour for one odd thing or the other. I have actually had a nurse to wake me up to take a sleeping pill! What the??????

Then we have the warning labels on products. Oh, my, how funny these things can be! I just love the one on the blow dryers that tell you NOT to use while in the tub or shower. Huh? Now, as funny as this sounds, it really is sad because this means that somewhere at some point, SOMEBODY has tried this, making it necessary for them to label this for the company's protection. THAT is scary! Not the label. Knowing that there are people out there that will actually not know that this is a no-no.

Check the label on Preparation H. I got a good chuckle when I read on there that it was not to be ingested! Excuse me? This means that somebody has actually tried to drink this horrific smelling concoction! Ok, maybe they just tried to use it for toothpaste but geez! Seems like when they squeezed it out onto the toothbrush, a red flag should have gone up when they smelled it!

My personal favorite is the label you see on sleeping pill boxes noting that you should not drive or operate heavy machinery when taking sleep aids. Ok, I know we have some crazy people in this world but do you really think that if they need to take sleep aids they would do this right before firing up the bulldozer? Heck, maybe some people may actually drive better under this influence but personally, the only thing I am driving when taking a sleeping pill is my head toward a pillow.

Then we have the warning on Cialis advising you to contact a doctor if you experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours. I am thinking that at the age most men need Cialis, about the second hour, the coroner may be the logical choice!

Let's move on to our native English language. I have often had many questions about this wonderful way of communication. For instance, could someone explain to me why we sit IN a chair and ON a couch? And why is it that you stand IN the road rather than On it? You aren't mixed into the asphalt! You are merely standing on top of it. And look at the word LEAD. Now, did you think of a heavy substance or being at the front of a line? Both are spelled the same but have totally different meanings. That makes things a bit confusing in a spelling bee. Especially when you throw in the word LED. Now you are in front but it is past tense! Maybe that's why the teachers have to use a sentence with the word in it before having the students to spell it.

Then, of course, we have corn oil that is made from corn, vegetable oil that is made from vegetables, olive oil that is made from olives and baby oil? And to think that I was on a roll with the oil thing. Or so I thought! And look at the word grade. Now, are you thinking about the F you got on your science test? Or are you thinking about the pitch of a mountainside? Same spelling. Two different meanings.

I could probably keep you here for a few hours with the things that strike me as funny in this world but I do realize that you have a life outside of Hub Pages. Therefore, I will save some for later. But I would like for everone to make me a promise before you leave. PLEASE, after you take the sleeping pill tonight, don't drive anything heavier than the t.v. remote! In the meantime, I'll go check to see if I can squeeze the oil out of the baby!

Bonnie Ramsey