I think I'll have a Kid and Name it Spot - Why Giving Your Child A Pet Name Is a BAD idea

 

There are many reasons to have pets. They make great companions, they love unconditionally, they're just so darn cute....to name a few examples. My favorite reason though is this... It gives you the opportunity to exercise your creativity in the naming department.

There are many types of names to choose from and while some may be a strong indication of a pet's personality or physical characteristics...in the long run, the name really says more about the pet owner. I decided to sit down and make a mental list of the types of pet names to see if my latest theory held water...and this is what I discovered.

Human Names

Some would call this a cop out. Why would anyone, with the opportunity to really get creative, settle for a name like Jack or Billy or Nancy? It is true that in some cases the name does suit...but for most people, I'd recommend saving this name for any potential offspring since it seems to be a personal favorite.

There is also the risk of having an awkward or embarrassing moment. Nobody, especially your boss, likes to hear his name in the same sentence with the words, "...crapped on the carpet after humping Father Murphy's leg."

Places

While sometimes cool, with the current trend toward naming children Paris or Dakota, this can sometimes fall into the same category as "Human Names." If you must go this route, stick with an obscure location like Jinhua...or Boise.

Famous People

A perfectly acceptable choice for names. Beware however, the risk of coming across as a pretentious pseudo-intellectual. Extra points are given for witty selection as in Schroedinger for a cat or Bush for a parrot that speaks nothing but awkward gibberish.

Uncommon Common Names

When in doubt, one can always fall back upon such standards as Fluffy, Rover, Fido or Spot. But why do that when you can seek out a synonym and virtually guarantee the uniqueness of your pet's name? Just pick up that thesaurus and you'll have fresh choices in no time. Here are a few examples...

Smokey ...Fuliginous

Fluffy...Friviolous

Rover...Itinerant

Sure, they don't roll off the tongue as easily as the old favorites, but I can pretty much promise there won't be any mix-ups as to which pet is yours at the vet's office ever again.

Long Names

Some people simply cannot pick just one name and with all the choices, who can blame them? While usually the domain of those "my pet is pedigreed and yours is a genetic accident" type of people, there is nothing to stop you from stringing a long list of names together to come up with something entirely unique. My only advice would be to pick something short and sweet for everyday use. Mister Mortimer Bigbutt Whiskerface Couchmangler may be what you choose...but you'll never get it out in time to save your furniture from being shredded.

Made Up Words

This is my all time personal favorite. When a word just cannot be found to satisfy your pet name requirements...make one up! It's not as difficult as it sounds. Watch...bbbbbbbbbliphit! See there you have it...Bliphit. It just take some practice to be able to spew out complete and utter nonsense. It's even kind of addictive...ggguuuuuuurbbllllll...no wait....hhhhhhhhhhhiiskkkkkkkkkkkkkkkappllla ...damn...fffffffffffooooooooooopie! There...got one. I'm just a tad rusty.

Opposite Names

Like calling a bald man, Curly...nothing engenders amusement like picking a name that is the complete opposite of your pet's physical features or character. Of course, there are too many toy dogs named Killer in my opinion...so you'll need to really work on this one to be unique. I've never seen a sphinx cat named Fluffy, for example. Being a sphinx and therefore of the pedigreed kitty society...more likely than not, it will have a name like Cleopatra of Egypt Watches the Sun Set on The Nile anyway...so it should be relatively safe for limited use.

And finally...the conclusion...

Now that you have these tools at your disposal...get a cat, get a dog...any pet will do. Just get the pet naming bug out of your system before you have to name your children! While Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii might work at the Westminster Kennel Club dog show...it won't win your daughter any prizes in Miss Parker's fourth grade classroom.

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Comments 11 comments

spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA Author

LOL! Awww c'mon...rock, paper, scissors...we'll let it decide ;)

I'm so glad it's nearly football season again.


Tater2tot profile image

Tater2tot 8 years ago from ~~~

Haha. Yeah I figured I should! Haha. They are way less pathetic than the Cards. At least diamondbacks have won something in their lives. I used to love Louis Gonzales.

I do not care for the Patriots. They are... cheaters, Randy Moss is good thou. I like the Cowboys. But I do not want conflict about which one is better.

Thank you! :P


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA Author

LOL! Ya just had to add that DiamondBacks thing huh? Well, now that I live in AZ...I have them as second favorite :) At least they're a lot less pathetic than the Cardinals football team...

I'll hang to my Patriots for a while longer ;)

Great to meet you too! Love the new icon!


Tater2tot profile image

Tater2tot 8 years ago from ~~~

Yes, I love Jacoby Shaddix from Papa Roach. He is so cute and has the cutest name. That's why I want a boy named that. It is not a normal name like John. I didn't know about the outfielder on the Red Sox? Cool.

GO DiamondBacks!

Thanks. Nice to meetcha too!


Tater2tot profile image

Tater2tot 8 years ago from ~~~

Yes, I love Jacoby Shaddix from Papa Roach. He is so cute and has the cutest name. That's why I want a boy named that. It is not a normal name like John. I didn't know about the outfielder on the Red Sox? Cool.

Go Diamondbacks!

Thanks. Nice to meetcha too!


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA Author

Heheh...yep...but still different enough that we aren't like two women caught at a social function wearing the same dress :)

*shudders* at the thought


Karen N profile image

Karen N 8 years ago from United States

How funny!Our last articles are a little alike :)


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA Author

Hiya Tater2tot:

While not a common name..it is the name for the lead singer of Papa Roach as well as an outfielder on my favorite baseball team (Go Sox!!)

Therefore it falls into the cool category for kids names...but that's just my opinion.

:)

Nice ta meetcha


Tater2tot profile image

Tater2tot 8 years ago from ~~~

Haha. Funny. haha calling a bald man curly. I am gonna do that to the next bald man I meet.

I don't have children yet, but I want a son named Jacoby. Is that a good name?

Thanks for the laugh!

Tayler!


spryte profile image

spryte 8 years ago from Arizona, USA Author

Not sure...but I recently had to talk a friend of mine out of naming her kid, Candy.  Oh...I know it doesn't sound THAT bad, does it?  However, my friend's last name is Apple....and unless she wanted her daughter growing up to be a stripper in Vegas....she'd better change it to something like Ann...uh no wait, that's not that good either...maybe Brenda. 

Thanks for your comment :) 


desert blondie profile image

desert blondie 8 years ago from Palm trees, swimming pools, lots of sand, lots of sunscreen

Very funny! Lots of rather odd names showing up these days among children of the famous...wonder if this happening among us run-of-the-mill folk, too?

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