The Gift - An Inspired Hub That Wasn't A Hub
On August 7, 2008, I had a two hour conversation with my mother over the phone. It was wonderful and silly. The kind of conversation you would wish for if you had known ahead of time it would be the last time you would talk to this person. Upon hanging up, I had this tremendous compulsion to write it down verbatim. Mistakenly, however, I believed the natural progression after writing it was to publish it as a hub.
On August 8, 2008, I published...very briefly...a hub entitled "A Conversation With My Mother." It was read by thirteen people and received one comment by desert blondie. Shortly after reading the comment, I unpublished it...not because of her comment, but because...well, because something about publishing it just didn't feel right. I was a bit heartbroken though. I knew this was something special...I just didn't understand why.
On August 11, 2008 my mother passed away suddenly and unexpectedly.
Last week, when my four siblings were gathered at my sister's house...I remembered the unpublished hub. If life were a cartoon, somebody would have drawn a brightly lit light bulb over my head. The reason for the compulsion became crystal clear. Without hesitation, I gathered my brother and sisters around the laptop and shared the final conversation with our mother.
It was a gift.
For a brief moment, the unbearable grief of five people was suspended as we shared her words, her thoughts...laughing at things that could only have come from our mother. It was magic. When I was done reading it out loud, my oldest sister hugged me and said, "thank you."
I am not a truly religious person...but I do believe there is a beautiful magical quality to life. It isn't important to understand it; trying to rationalize it will only have you questioning your own sanity (and maybe a few others might question it too). I was raised never to question the source of a gift but to graciously accept it and be properly thankful. This one came without a tag, so I'm not even sure who to thank. But whoever you are...I think you know how I feel.
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Comments 7 comments
Spryte, what a wonderful and touching story. I have had to come to grips with this type of grief in my life and as I get older those times become more frequent. How lucky you were to have written that HUB to be the instrument of your moms sort of last talk to you and your siblings. Sometimes I am awestruck by things in life and this is one of them. thanks for sharing. Peter
Thanks Misty...perhaps one day I'll repost it...but it was in a very LONG format that perhaps a bit tedious for some readers. :) My mother was very chatty...heheheh.
A lovely and touching Hub Spryte, and I am sure you were meant to write the hub you unpublished for a reason that since became clear. I did go to read that Hub at the time, but you had already unpublished it sadly. I am sure it was very good though, and a great way for your family to remember your Mum and have some laughs over the good memories too.
Shade -
If I've learned nothing from all of this, I've learned that everyone has their own unique gift to help them cope with whatever life hands them. You remind me of my brother so very much. He is irreverent beyond belief, occasionally sarcastic and caustic...and buried deep inside this tough carapace...is a beautiful soul of great imagination and depth of feeling. But shhh...he doesn't realize I've figured it out...so let's keep this between us okay? :)
I have a feeling that you'd manage misery quite well. :) You strike me as being a strong person with a great sense of the absurd...and trust me, humor is EVERYTHING.
I would say some pseudo-wise blah-blah like I try to play all the time, but, I got nothing. I don't envy your loss and I don't honestly know what it's like. I can only honestly say that I hope I am as resilient and positive in times of my own misery as you seem to be.
Thanks Shade. I did get your email btw...it just happened to arrive when everything else happened too. Thanks for that as well.
Even though the reason for our gathering was...well, not exactly our choice, it was wonderful to be with my family again. I guess like anything else in life, laughter and tears just go together...sort of like salt and pepper. Our time together was well seasoned by both :)
I think you are talking about the essence of the Universal truth that everyone seeks, many touch, but no one has ever held long enough to fully understand. I'm sorry that you lost your mother, but I'm glad you and your siblings found something wonderful in her wake. I read the hub you posted on your loss and couldn't find anything to say on it that didn't sound trite or cliché. But I am glad your spirit is doing well.
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