Boundarycrosser:Who are they?
Boundary Crossers:Who Are They?
Remember Johnny Cash's classic hit "I walk the line"apparently these people did not get the memo.It brings to mind the phrase" is there no line you won't cross?" Sadly, for some there is no line they are not willing to cross? My mind is transported to a previous relationship. My ex was a boundary crosser. I am happy to call him my ex.He was unbelievable.
In my imagination our relationship resembled this childhood scene. I am the little girl with a piece of chalk who merrily draws a circle around her space and declares it hers. My ex is the good looking mean kid who runs up to my declared space and rubs it off with his shoe.When that measure does not ensure entrance. He storms the castle by fetching a pail of water. He erases my chalk line and gets in my face. After a few episodes of this very disturbing behavior; I decide to go play with other cute and cool boy who has drawn his own colorful circle;whom i know will not attempt to rub out are completely erase my circle. When i wasn't enraged by his antics i was awed by them. Absolutely amazing.
Boundary crossers come in many different forms: well-meaning friends, overprotective parents, and spoiled kids just to name a few. What i have learned from the experience is observation is the key to eliminating disasters in the future. Overly inquisitive people are boundary crossers. People who are "open" too early in a new relationship have a tendency to be boundary crossers. This technique can be tricky. At first glance, it appears this person is being honest and mature and that's part of it. Buyer beware.The other part of this technique is to get you to open up just as quickly. This person is too aggressive, not a good thing. And last but not least the infamous talker. Anyone with so little impulse control,however sweet they may be,is a boundary crosser.
And what of the people that we hold near and dear; parents,bff's and our kids. What i prefer to call "the special brand" of boundary crossers. My advice be firm, loving and be fearless. Everyone has a right to be respected and in learning who they are you have an edge to ensure your peace of mind and privacy.
Just A Few Players In The Game
Boundary Crosser are people who intentionally and unintentionally violate your personal code of ethics. The unintentional boundary crosser are usually friends and family.The Intentional ones are usually bad partners ,spiteful co-workers ,etc. The former are well meaning and want to help in some type of way. The latter is out for blood plain and simple.
Boundary Crosser can be loving overbearing people for example mothers, close friends,etc. Their intention is to help. These types you will need to be firm with,setting limits is key .At, times setting limits with love ones can be difficult because you usually care about them Still, you need to decide if your personally code of ethics is worth defending.Never be afraid to piss people off, it's what is sometimes needed for them to get the point.For a while they may be angry ,they will get over it.
On the opposite extreme some boundary crosser are vicious these types are usually rivals. They come in all forms fake friends, jealous co-workers, and abusive mates.Theses types seek some type of currency. It could be monetary, position, lover or your heart break. Some are loud and argumentative others are syrupy sweet but just as lethal. One must be consistent with these types. You got to trust your instincts. Sometimes being firm helps most times cutting them off does the trick. Who needs someone they can't trust. Worst yet someone who isn't into you.If it is workplace drama simply outshine them wear your big pants. This means no running to the boss like a baby ,chances are they have planted negative thoughts in the boss's head. Your best option is to maintain military silence and ignore said boundary crosser. It is said that if you refuse to give something life it dies. Remember, the jealous co worker wants what you already have so why give it to him or her.
Examples of Boundray Crossing
You will know your lines are being crossed. Should you experience any of these incidents on a personal or professional level or both.
- dropping by unannounced
- some one ask you probing questions
- abusive voice-mails/text
- digging through personal stuff
- going through your phone
- exposing a secret
- confronting someone about classified information
- excessive angry phone calls
- pushy people who will not accept no
- Nasty Facebook rants or blogs
- inappropriate slurs of any kind
These are just a few incidents but I am sure you get the picture.
Famous Boundary Crossers
Although, I love comedy even they have a limit on how offensive they can be while performing.I have taken the liberty to list ten famous comedians who were called out for going too far.
- Tracy Morgan- he was called out for extreme gay jokes.
- Rosanne Barr- she was called out for the National Anthem
- Chris Rock- He was called out for the over use of the N word
- George Carlin- He landed in court after an angry father while driving with his son heard "seven words you can't say on t.v."
- Amy Schumer- she got into trouble after making a joke about a recently deceased person
- Daniel Tosh- He was reprimanded for a rape joke
- Richard Pryor-he stayed in trouble for controversial material
- Micheal Richards- he was called out for excessive use of the N word
- Carlos Mencia-he was uninvited to the Mardi Gras Parade for offensive Hurricane Katrina jokes
- Lenny Bryce- he was arrested and later released for the word cocksucker in one of his acts
(Source: Huffington Post)
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