Fun Ways to Help to Save Trees

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Don't buy a chainsaw

If you have a chainsaw you might be tempted to reduce your backyard nature preserve to kindling. Do not, under any circumstances, go online and order a Homelite or a Husqvarna or a Poulan. Stay away from these high-precision devices designed to cut down trees, which would not exactly be saving them.

We highly recommend that you should not get a Stihl chainsaw, either. Stihl equipment represents a pinnacle of woodcutting, which you absolutely do not want to do.

Stay out of the chainsaw aisle at your local hardware store when you are shopping for insecticide and lawn mower blades.There's plenty of browsing so be done: take a few minutes to admire the plumbing fixtures or the drywall.

A former tree.
A former tree. | Source

Always chain yourself with quality equipment

When the time comes to chain yourself to the ancient oak in the city park, be sure to come prepared. Stock up on quality chains and chaining accessories. When burly lumberjacks come at you with their Stihl chainsaws, they will think twice before assailing you and your metalwork.

Look for stainless steel locks and carbon-steel chain links. A combination lock is usually the most effective because no one will know the code except you and your court-appointed attorney. You might also want to share such information with your doctor, but that's up to you.

Apply Miracle Gro

Tomato plants and fragile flowers shouldn't have all the fun. Apply copious amounts of Miracle Gro to your trees and the trees of those you love. This stuff grows tomatoes the size of basketballs and peas the size of tomatoes that haven't been fed Miracle Gro. We don't know what's in it, but your mighty stand of oak will sprout like crabgrass if you faithfully feed it with this miraculous product.

Don't use lumber

Many people don't know that lumber comes from actual trees. In order to make more lumber, more trees must be felled. This leaves less trees. If you use lumber in your furniture or your pencils or your house, trees must be sacrificed. Don't sacrifice a tree just so you can have a place to live and raise a family.

Plant more Trees

Trees can be ordered on eBay. Cornucopias of leafy goodness just waiting to be planted in your living room can be found with just a few simple clicks of your non-wooden mouse.

We heartily endorse orange and lemon trees because you don't get just a tree, you also get free fruit. You can eat the fruit or plant the seeds to get more trees. You can also do both, but that's a different type of article altogether.

There are also mango trees and tulip trees on eBay. Put down that chainsaw and bid on real natural trees just like the ones you see on TV.

Mulch Something

Few words in the English language are sufficiently flexible as to be available for verbs and nouns. Mulch shines through as a prime example of such a word. We wordsmiths eminently appreciate combinations of letters offering us options.

Anyway, If you mulch some organic stuff into a mulch pile you can create dirt. Trees love dirt. Pretty much every tree lives in dirt. The brand-new dirt you create would look wonderful at the base of your favorite tree.

Pull a Stump

Yes, it's true: you may need to yank out a stump so a new tree can grow. It's the circle of life. Disney taught us that and it's never been more true when it comes to saving trees.

Hook your F350 King Ranch Ford Pickup Truck to that recalcitrant stump, drop the gear selector into Low and nudge the accelerator. Before you can say 'soot cloud' you'll be looking in the read-view camera at a formerly embedded hunk of dead tree. Once free from the clutches of Mother Earth, it can be mulched or not cut up with the chainsaw you didn't purchase.

Trees are

  • natural havens for birds and squirrels
  • nasty leaf-dropping intruders that crush our sewer lines
  • something to be cut down with chainsaws
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Comments 4 comments

drbj profile image

drbj 3 years ago from south Florida

Thanks much, nicomp, for the mulch instructions. Now my world is complete.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

drbj: yes, but will HubPages allow it to be indexed? That's really what matters. ;)


Joanne M Olivieri 3 years ago

LOVE this! Now I have all the tips I need.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 3 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Joanne: I'm here to help.

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