Here are 22 Places (I Know of) Where You Never Drink or Show-up Drinking

This graphic tells my story for me

This is NOT drinking in moderation

Alcohol is not cool everywhere

I’ll be brief. These are places where it is legal and acceptable to drink alcohol: Bars, company parties, Christmas and New Years parties, Fourth of July get-togethers, nightclubs, in your own home, in a friend or family member’s home provided they drink too, cruises, liberal campgrounds, and on some airline flights.

I never dreamed since I have been a member of HubPages, that the places for legal-drinking were this many. And the list above is just a general list, not a total list of drinking locations.

When drinking in moderation is not honored, problems surface

Alcohol is always enticing

Let's face some hard facts

Sadly, and being totally-honest, even in legal places of distilled-spirits consumption, there are problems caused by problem-drinkers, people with anger issues who abuse alcohol, and a of would-be Evander Holyfield’s. If moderation were exercised, the amount of D.W.I, D.U.U., reckless driving, and public intoxication arrests would plummet. If I were a gambler, I would wage $5,000.00 on it. But the “perfect locale,” for boozing has yet to be designed or built, so we can only pray that moderation be received by those who love alcohol.

Alcohol mixed with anger-issues equals big trouble

Alcohol ads have glared at us for years

Hey, if you do drink, do not get your feathers ruffled at me. I am just suggesting a sensible way for you and other drinkers to enjoy yourself without a terrible hang-over the next morning or more-serious, an arrest for letting your drinking get out of hand.

So with that being said, I am going to give you just . . .

“22 Places That You Never Take a Drink or Show Up Drinking”

(Don’t be too quick to assume. These places are not your regular places where alcohol is forbidden).

Alcohol-addiction knows no color boundary

Even our songs make money from booze

This is real-life when you are drunk

Alcohol flows like water

Hipsters love to drink

Is this cartoon funny to you?

This lady read my mind

22. In a convent or monestary that you stumble into in a drunken stupor. Nuns and monks do practice patience, but an abusive person who is obviously-drunk, they will deal you a hand of “tough love.”

21. On a golf course when pro-golfers are playing in a tournament.

20. In the target area at a firing range.

19. Any military base in the free world. You will not find any mercy from these highly-trained service men and women—especially if you call the M.P.’s, which happen to be girls, “A bunch of cake bakers who need to be home.”

18. At a dog show and when you see the dogs and owners running to impress the judges, you run with them.

17. A graveside funeral service.

16. If work as an engineer driving a train. This applies for taxi drivers and airline pilots as well.

15. Visiting your local firehouse – drinking is a stupid gesture. Do you not know that fire-fighters can call the police as soon as they detect your drinking? Do you really want to risk going to jail?

14. Merchants’ stores – in your hometown. Sure, they might know you, but they do not need your drinking.

13. Movie theaters – the potential for you to lose your temper and swear loudly or get into a fight is high.

12. Shopping malls – these places have security guards who will contact the real cops to arrest you for drinking in the mall and therefore endangering others and yourself.

11. Hay rides – given my local civic groups or churches. These people do not want to laugh at you for falling off the wagon. Literally.

10. Daycare centers – people who take drinks at these places that care for kids, are problem-drinkers.

9. Hospitals – in the emergency room or the rooms of patients whom you are visiting.

8. Grade school and high schools – this is for kids, parents, teachers and administrators. If you care one spark for yourself, you will get help immediately.

7. Church worship services – which includes Sunday School classes or when you come in contact with anyone. Get angry at me for saying this, but “God will respect you more if you come to His house sober.”

6. Taking any test – for employment such as being a Civil Servant or tests for any level of government.

5. Police stations – if you have a buddy who is a cop, do not be a fool and show-up to visit him on duty while you are “three sheets in the wind.” Think he will not perform his sworn duty? Just try it.

4. Boy or Girl Scout – meetings where your children are desiring to join these prestigious organizations.

3. Public libraries – if it is against a librarian’s law to talk, then what will he or she do with a person who is drinking on their premises?

2. Little League Baseball games. Do I need to tell you why?

And my Number One area where you are never to take a drink or show-up drunk is . . .

Behind the wheel of your automobile!


Next . . .”Ways to Get Yourself Banned From The Theater”

More by this Author


Comments 16 comments

Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

And the list goes on and on. Almost to close to home to be funny. I said almost ;-)


annart profile image

annart 2 years ago from SW England

A good point brought home with humour and I think a dose of humour is a good way to make people think.

Sadly, those who drink seriously are beyond the advice and it takes them a long time to realise it, if indeed they ever do.

Imaginative list of 'don'ts'!

Ann


carrie Lee Night profile image

carrie Lee Night 2 years ago from Northeast United States

Voted funny :). But having said that a serious matter. Thank you for writing this witty yet important hub :)


sheilamyers 2 years ago

I love the humor, but most of the places you mentioned I know you did in all seriousness. No one should be drinking around children or when they are or will be driving.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Eric, you make the "Artful Dodger," look like he is all-thumbs. Nicely-said, my friend. I appreciate your friendship and following. You always say things that make me wiser.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, sheilamyers,

Thank you, Sheila, for the sweet comment. Amen to not drinking around kids and Especially WHILE DRIVING.

I had a cousin and two wonderful uncles killed simply because they tried to carry the party home with them behind the wheel.

And I hate that with a passion. All three were great guys. Had big hearts and let booze take over their lives.

Sheila, I appreciate you so much.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear carrie lee,

I appreciate your comment. I really do. When I write a hub with a topic such as this one, I always prepare myself for some "Mind your own business," comments, which are fine. I am not about censorship, but I am not for letting alcohol kill an innocent person either.

Come back anytime.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear annart:

Thank YOU so much for your delightful comment. Sometimes the best way to make your point is in the disguise of humor.

I do not like to be scorned or ran out of town on a Volkswagen.


grand old lady profile image

grand old lady 2 years ago from Philippines

Funny -- and very responsible:)


Kaili Bisson profile image

Kaili Bisson 2 years ago from Canada

Great list. Nobody should ever get behind the wheel of a car after drinking.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Kaili,

Thank you, dear friend, for the sweet comment. I wish people who drink would just leave the driving to their recliner.

Come back again, Kaili.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Grand Old Lady (who is NOT old),

Thank you for your wonderful comment. You are very appreciated. I hope you have a wonderful day or night--whenever you left me this comment.


vkwok profile image

vkwok 2 years ago from Hawaii

You bring up a very serious issue in a creative way, Kenneth.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, vkwok,

Thank you, friend, for knowing how I work. This time. I appreciate you for reading my hubs and taking time to comment.

You are one classy person.


aviannovice profile image

aviannovice 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

It sure makes sense to not be in any of these places while drinking. I don't drink, so I needn't worry...


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

aviannovice,

I do NOT drink either, my dear friend and follower. We both needn't worry. I like the idea of waking up each Monday and knowing that my weekend was not a lost one.

Thanks for this and all of your comments.

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