Here are 22 Places (I Know of) Where You Never Drink or Show-up Drinking

I’ll be brief. These are places where it is legal and acceptable to drink alcohol: Bars, company parties, Christmas and New Years parties, Fourth of July get-togethers, nightclubs, in your own home, in a friend or family member’s home provided they drink too, cruises, liberal campgrounds, and on some airline flights.

I never dreamed since I have been a member of HubPages, that the places for legal-drinking were this many. And the list above is just a general list, not a total list of drinking locations.

Sadly, and being totally-honest, even in legal places of distilled-spirits consumption, there are problems caused by problem-drinkers, people with anger issues who abuse alcohol, and a of would-be Evander Holyfield’s. If moderation were exercised, the amount of D.W.I, D.U.U., reckless driving, and public intoxication arrests would plummet. If I were a gambler, I would wage $5,000.00 on it. But the “perfect locale,” for boozing has yet to be designed or built, so we can only pray that moderation be received by those who love alcohol.

Hey, if you do drink, do not get your feathers ruffled at me. I am just suggesting a sensible way for you and other drinkers to enjoy yourself without a terrible hang-over the next morning or more-serious, an arrest for letting your drinking get out of hand.

So with that being said, I am going to give you just . . .

“22 Places That You Never Take a Drink or Show Up Drinking”

(Don’t be too quick to assume. These places are not your regular places where alcohol is forbidden).

22. In a convent or monestary that you stumble into in a drunken stupor. Nuns and monks do practice patience, but an abusive person who is obviously-drunk, they will deal you a hand of “tough love.”

21. On a golf course when pro-golfers are playing in a tournament.

20. In the target area at a firing range.

19. Any military base in the free world. You will not find any mercy from these highly-trained service men and women—especially if you call the M.P.’s, which happen to be girls, “A bunch of cake bakers who need to be home.”

18. At a dog show and when you see the dogs and owners running to impress the judges, you run with them.

17. A graveside funeral service.

16. If work as an engineer driving a train. This applies for taxi drivers and airline pilots as well.

15. Visiting your local firehouse – drinking is a stupid gesture. Do you not know that fire-fighters can call the police as soon as they detect your drinking? Do you really want to risk going to jail?

14. Merchants’ stores – in your hometown. Sure, they might know you, but they do not need your drinking.

13. Movie theaters – the potential for you to lose your temper and swear loudly or get into a fight is high.

12. Shopping malls – these places have security guards who will contact the real cops to arrest you for drinking in the mall and therefore endangering others and yourself.

11. Hay rides – given my local civic groups or churches. These people do not want to laugh at you for falling off the wagon. Literally.

10. Daycare centers – people who take drinks at these places that care for kids, are problem-drinkers.

9. Hospitals – in the emergency room or the rooms of patients whom you are visiting.

8. Grade school and high schools – this is for kids, parents, teachers and administrators. If you care one spark for yourself, you will get help immediately.

7. Church worship services – which includes Sunday School classes or when you come in contact with anyone. Get angry at me for saying this, but “God will respect you more if you come to His house sober.”

6. Taking any test – for employment such as being a Civil Servant or tests for any level of government.

5. Police stations – if you have a buddy who is a cop, do not be a fool and show-up to visit him on duty while you are “three sheets in the wind.” Think he will not perform his sworn duty? Just try it.

4. Boy or Girl Scout – meetings where your children are desiring to join these prestigious organizations.

3. Public libraries – if it is against a librarian’s law to talk, then what will he or she do with a person who is drinking on their premises?

2. Little League Baseball games. Do I need to tell you why?

And my Number One area where you are never to take a drink or show-up drunk is . . .

Behind the wheel of your automobile!

Next . . .”Ways to Get Yourself Banned From The Theater”