How to Be a Democrat

Cicada Chiquita

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Party Loyalty

Good Morning, Breakfastpoppers. Today is Tuesday, May 6, 2014. Our noisy friend, Cicada Chiquita, is here with me at the breakfast table. She has been observing Democrats for quite a while now and she has some suggestions for those who aspire to be a modern Democrat. Please join us for breakfast this morning. We are serving ham and eggs with a refreshing Bloody Mary instead of coffee. We hope to see you soon.

Hello, my fine human family. Thank you so much for joining me. We have a lot of ground to cover this morning, so let's get started.

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Dems are Not Born

Today's Dems are not born, they are created. Many forces will come to bear upon you.You will deal with the political leanings of your parents, the pressure from your peers, the power of the news media and the prejudices of television, movie producers and pop culture. Once the decision is made to become a card carrying member of the Democratic Party, it is absolutely essential to rid yourself of any and all facts that contradict the party platform. In order to accomplish this successfully, you must watch only approved mainstream media news outlets. You must avoid the fair and balanced Fox News station, because hearing both sides of an issue is not advisable. It is recommended that you learn from the masters. Studying statements from the likes of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are a must. Take note of these superstar's refusal to tell the truth. Truth is vastly overrated. Winning and manipulation are everything. Nancy Pelosi suggests that you support and pass legislation without reading it. Follow her example. Harry Reid accuses innocent people of heinous crimes. Follow his example.


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No Voter I.D.!

It is essential that you strongly oppose any attempt to require Americans to produce identification at the voting booth. Voter I.D. is an anathema to proud Democrats. We need all the votes we can get and if people have to vote several times in order in insure our victory, so be it! Keep in mind that we are looking for ignorant voters who like to be led like sheep. Prepare to lead them to the polls and encourage them to vote as many times as possible, in as many states as possible.


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Finger Pointing 101

A good Democrat is an expert at pointing fingers. When anything goes wrong, whip out your finger and point it at a Republican. It is essential that you accuse Republicans of everything from climate change to the horror of Benghazi. Republicans are at the heart of everything that is wrong with America. Let this be your mantra. Live it, act it and above all believe it. President Obama is a shining example of how to elevate finger pointing into an art form. Just the other day, in his weekly speech to the nation, he told the nation that all of our problems would be solved if the Republicans would just cooperate. Republicans are wasting precious time in their quest to reveal the truth about the Benghazi terror attack. Republicans are wasting the nation's time in their desire to find out why American citizens were left to die in Benghazi. Republicans are barking up the wrong tree when they dare to suggest that Hillary Clinton is responsible for this massacre. Republicans are guilty of keeping the nation from moving forward because they want answers to questions only they find troubling. Trust me when I say that the American people don't care about Benghazi or the IRS scandal. Americans care about food stamps, welfare, free health insurance and unemployment insurance. A good Democrat caters to the needs of the part of the population that needs big government. A good Democrat rewards sloth. A good Democrat applauds people who have lost interest in employment and have removed themselves from the job market. Less people actively searching for employment make the employment stats look good. Why let people who have given up mess up the reports. Participation in the work force matches a 36 year low of 62.8 percent. Never allow these numbers to see the light of day. If they do, denounce them as Republican lies.

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Let's Party for the Party!

I will leave aspiring Democrats with these final words. If you are tired of hearing about the Founding Father's, the Democratic Party is for you. If you are sick of the tired Constitution, the Democratic Party is for you. If you enjoy seeing America fall from prominence and importance in the world, the Democratic Party is for you. If you believe that most Americans are gullible, malleable and stupid, the Democratic Party is for you. If you disagree, make some noise!


Cicada Chiquita's Song

I'm Cicada Chiquita and I'm here to say

The Dems would love it

If you flew away....



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Comments 30 comments

carol7777 profile image

carol7777 2 years ago from Arizona

Wow I seem to be first in line here. I remember the Democratic party many years ago--Dems were small business and Rep...big business. The party was totally different than today. And of course the world was totally different than today. Meet you at the Inn my friend...Tonite I would like some Peach Vodka...Fruity that it be.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago Author

Good Morning carol,

Look at it this way, I was once a Democrat! Back them, Dems believed in things. Now all they believe in is themselves. See you at the Inn. I'm in the mood for a spicy Bloody Mary.


taxlarry 2 years ago

Chiquita, it's all true. Most people don't care, and that is why the bum in the white house was elected and re-elected, why idiots vote in Harry Reid and Pelosi and Schmuck Shumer and they want Hilary to be president. When these idiots get some common sense in their heads, things will start to change.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago Author

Good Morning taxlarry,

We'll have to wait a long, long time.... See you at the Inn on the early side. It's a Bloody Mary for me.


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 2 years ago from Moundsville, WV

Chiquita and Pop,

I know there were once good Democrats. My mother was one until 1968 and she changed parties.


Old Poolman profile image

Old Poolman 2 years ago from Rural Arizona

Perhaps many of today's Dems have evolved due to a number of different factors.

Entitlements - these are easier to get than ever before in the history of our country. Our government even runs TV ads to encourage people to sign up for food stamps. Living off the government has become a way of life for many.

Education - Our educational standards have been sliding down for many generations. Many high school graduates today can barely read and write. Our colleges and Universites are full of liberal minded professors who miss no opportunity to fill young minds with their liberal philsophies.

Jobs - For many reasons, jobs and opportunities are not nearly as plentiful today as they were 30 or 40 years ago. Government regulations and taxes have driven most manufacturing out of this country onto foreign soil. When a young person can make as much from entitlements without even leaving the couch, why should they work?

A book could be written about all the changes that have taken place to bring us to this point. Most who believe in the present system are hard-core liberals who prefer large government and the handouts provided to buy votes. I doubt this country will ever return to what it once was.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

Too funny my friend. I refuse to get caught up in the party b.s.....and the media is a joke....but this was humorous as always.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago Author

Good Morning Tom,

I was one too! See you at the Inn, where people gather who still believe in common sense and fairness.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago Author

Good Morning Mike,

Your comments are on target. We could sum it all up as the "dumbing down" of America. If we are unable to turn things around, we won't be around for long. See you at the Inn. Drinks are on me.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago Author

Good Morning billy,

If you can't laugh, you cry... See you at the Inn. Drinks are on me.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 2 years ago from Arlington, TX

The Democratic Party has been hijacked by the progressive movement over time and it isn't recognizable any more as being the party of the common man anymore. The Republicans are slightly better but not by much. I am a conservative and an Independent and don't need educating by a mindless party hack who has no interest in what is good for this country.

The Frog


Pino Krisio 2 years ago

POP: I watched "Meet the Press" on Sunday, and one of the guests was uber-liberal Will.I.am. He spoke about education and how that should be the first priority of government. He used his own money and went back to his neighborhood. He speaks to the children and encourages them to become educated. He now has students with GPA's of 3.8, up from 1. something. It is working. Why am I talking about this? Well, he is a liberal, but his actions are those of a conservative. He did it himself; he did not rely on big government who would let those students rot with 1. somethibg GPA's. I have a lot of respect for him.

By the way, you don't need an ID to vote, but you sure as hell need it to get your Obamacare!

I'm off to the bar. Save me a seat....


WillStarr profile image

WillStarr 2 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Democrats have always been supporters of big government, but they have now gone so far left that they would be unrecognizable to the likes of a JFK or a Truman.

But even more dangerous than the new Democrat is the new media. What was once the fierce watchdog over big government is now the docile lapdog of the far left.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago Author

Dear Frog Prince,

I, too, am an Independent, but I am not sure it means anything anymore. I'll see you at the Inn. I really want to sort things out.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago Author

Dear Pino,

I am not interested in labels. Do something good that makes sense and I am a supporter. See you at the Inn!


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago Author

Dear WillStarr,

Everything we once knew as true has gone awry. What we should all be working towards is a nation that uses the principles of common sense to make a better life for everyone. See you at the Inn.


AnitaFrancine 2 years ago

I loved reading every word, and the illustrations are amazing! This is the best blog ever...it would be perfect if only it wasn't the truth!


Pino Krisio 2 years ago

POP: Unfortunately, everyone has a label - Democrat, Republican, Independent, or the dastardly "Tea Party" label. What Will.i.am is doing is wonderful. Those children have no idea what opportunities they will have because of him. Back to the bar....


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago Author

Good Morning Frog Prince,

If only more people were like you....See you at the Inn later.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago Author

Good Morning Pino,

There are shining examples of accomplished people on both sides of the aisle. The problem is that there aren't enough! See you at the Inn, Pino.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago Author

Good Morning AnitaFrancine,

Thanks so much for coming to the breakfast table. I wish what I wrote was a fairy tale, but alas it is the cold, cold truth. See you at the Inn.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago Author

Dear Pino,

Isn't it amazing what one well-intentioned person can do?


Pino Krisio 2 years ago

POP: Just take the likes of Warren Buffet - he is so wealthy, but won't spend one penny more than he should pay for taxes. He and Oprah and Bill Gates can bail our our government - and make them stop spending, but they won't. Back to the bar...


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago Author

Dear Pino,

I don't think anyone should pay one cent more than they are supposed to for taxes. It's the people who contribute nothing that bother me.


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 2 years ago

I think the parties that exist should be eliminated so that we can develop new platforms. No one can be trusted anymore. Hiliarious and interesting post!


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago Author

Dear teaches,

I think you have a fantastic idea. I think it is time to clean house! See you at the Inn!


Billrrrr profile image

Billrrrr 2 years ago from Cape Cod

Another great one. If people have to vote several times .... so be it!. I love that.

My first two presidents were FDR and Harry 'The Hat' Truman. With TV's Bob Emery (Channel 4, Boston), I drank a toast (a Milk Toast) to them every day.


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago Author

Dear Bill,

With this president only a stiff drink will do!


Billrrrr profile image

Billrrrr 2 years ago from Cape Cod

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 2 years ago Author

Dear Bill,

Join me at the Inn..

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