"I use to be an enabler, are you enabling someone in your life today."

Definition of enabler: Is someone that allows things to happen, without preventing it. When I married my ex-husband he had quite a few addictions, some I knew of and some that I didn't. I tried to help him buy talking to him about getting help. I think people with addictions , want help, but the addictions have to much control over them, that they doesn't have the strenght or the will to fight it off.

My ex- finally decided to get help, and I supported him every step of the way, but I didn't know that by me being there, that I would be the bullseye that everyone threw darts at. What I meant by that statement was, I sit in the center of all the addicts and they took turns asking me questions like: why are you still with this person. They told me I wasn't helping him by staying with him. I never had been involved with anything like this before, so it was very intimidating for me; to endure all of the criticism being thown my way.

The criticism made me think about my position in this marriage, and how unequally yoked I was to this man that I married. In being an enabler you're just there, but if you're buying cigarretes, or drugs or alcohol for the person in need, you're contributing to the problem. My advice to you is that you think about your options, before you put yourself in an enabling situation; that you will definitely regret later on down the road. Help the problem, don't hinder it.

Benny Faye douglas