Interview with a Revolutionary War Soldier on the 4th. of July.

Well....he just appeared there on the street corner. He looked pretty lost so I decided to help him out. I introduced myself and he told me his name, Paul, and so we started a conversation. He asked me if I had any tobacco and I handed him a cigarette.

He was really impressed how it was shaped so perfectly. I asked "How about some lunch...I'll pay?" He nodded and we walked across the street to Smiley's Pub. Before we stepped in the door I told him "Uh...you have to put out the smoke and you can't carry that rifle in here."

He leaned his rifle to the side of the door and broke the cigarette off at the ember to save for later. We went in, sat at the bar and I ordered two drafts and a couple of hamburgers. He looked over at two beautiful women standing by the juke box and yelled at them "Wenches, bring your asses here and give me some kisses!" I nudged him as the women snarled and turned away. I whispered "You can't talk to women like that!"

He grinned and said "How would a man talk to a woman of this day then?" I said "You must be polite, women are far more sensitive....they don't like being called wenches." I went on "Women are equal to men in today's world." He laughed and said "As they were in my time...one on me lap and one in each arm was a pretty good balance my friend."

As we ate our lunch, we got on the subject of politics. I gave him a basic outline of politics and social issues. When I mentioned the welfare system, he grunted and said "Ah friend, if a man be too lazy to work ....I be too lazy to feed him!"

He began to get really aggravated that he had to leave his rifle outside. I told him about gun laws, search and seizure methods, along with other eroding rights. I told him how the banks control all of the money and the politicians were just worms in the fat apples of the peoples' tree.

He listened intensely as I ranted about how things were in such a mess. I began slamming my fist on the bar and I shouted "This is the fourth of f****ng July and I for one am sick and tired of taxation without representation....I am sick of a totally incompetent legislature....from the local piss head politician to the leader of the country, we have an unbroken line of dumb asses!"

The old soldier just patted me on the back, with a big grin, he laughed and said "Bloody hell mate....we won the bloody dammed war....this country is as much a shit hole as England.....Ha...ha ...ah...We won the bloody war!"

We finished our lunch and drinks, went outside and he picked up his rifle. He brushed the dust from his red coat and shouted "Long live the King!" The old British soldier disappeared into thin air.



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Comments 29 comments

advisor4qb profile image

advisor4qb 7 years ago from On New Footing

Happy fourth!


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

Happy fourth to you too! :)


Steve Rensch profile image

Steve Rensch 7 years ago

Fooled me.


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

Steve...thanks for stopping by! :)


Ivorwen profile image

Ivorwen 7 years ago from Hither and Yonder

Sad, isn't it?


treading concrete profile image

treading concrete 7 years ago from Jungle of steel.

Oh that was nice! Awesome thought for this weekend.


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

At the least the spirit of the Fourth is still alive in the hearts of many, like yours. Happy Fourth my friend, despite....

Oh btw, I have posted your wallpaper as you requested! Hope you'll like. If not, well I'll LYM you just the same :D http://hubpages.com/art/when-i-cant-write-i-make-w...


Hawkesdream profile image

Hawkesdream 7 years ago from Cornwall

Yeah we did , won the bloody war, enjoy the celebrations Tom


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 7 years ago from Australia

And if you had lost ?

Happy 4th from an Aussie :-)


Pete Maida profile image

Pete Maida 7 years ago

Unfortunately the government is far more complex that an eigthteenth century soldier would understand. In general we are doing exactly what Ben Franklin warned us of. We are giving up liberty for security and in the end it may bite us on the butt.


Ginn Navarre profile image

Ginn Navarre 7 years ago

Oh yes, Pete said it best---still happy--4th!


Iphigenia 7 years ago

As Newt Gingrich said : "Politics and war are remarkably similar situations."


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 7 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky

I liked your take on this story. Thanks, Tom...always a pleasure to read your hubs


alekhouse profile image

alekhouse 7 years ago from Louisville, Kentucky


Candie V profile image

Candie V 7 years ago from Whereever there's wolves!! And Bikers!! Cummon Flash, We need an adventure!

Excellent hub Tom!! Tho, I must say I don't mind being called a "wench" from the right man!! LOL!


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 7 years ago from Canada

Happy 4th of July!!!! :)


comp3820 profile image

comp3820 7 years ago from Michigan

Good hub! I really like the way you turned it around in the end!


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

comp3820.....thank you much! :)


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 7 years ago from Chicago

Awesome twist at the end, brother.  And yet another great story.  You old raconteur you!


Dr. Larkin profile image

Dr. Larkin 7 years ago from In the portrait of a madman

Auf Wiedersehen, Liberty. Denn wir fahren, gegen Engelland!

Good hub, Dad


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

James....thanks much! Big grin! :)

Dr. Larkin......yavolt commmandant! :)


Chef Jeff profile image

Chef Jeff 7 years ago from Universe, Milky Way, Outer Arm, Sol, Earth, Western Hemisphere, North America, Illinois, Chicago.

As a Civil war reenactor I also get into first person and stick with it. It can cause some very interesting situations!

And politicians are supposed to be public servants, not served by the public!

Cheers,

Chef Jeff


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

Chef Jeff....I'll bet Civil war reenactments are interesting! I painted a house for a friend who had an old Union rifle in museum condition. He was a big Civil war buff...I loved hearing his stories.

I think that many politicians are public serpents. :)

Thanks for stopping by. :)


Chef Jeff profile image

Chef Jeff 7 years ago from Universe, Milky Way, Outer Arm, Sol, Earth, Western Hemisphere, North America, Illinois, Chicago.

LOL!!! I'm going to 'steal' that one! Public serpents! Great!


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio Author

Chef Jeff....LOL....steal away! :)


ralwus 6 years ago

I missed this one. Right on.


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 6 years ago from Ohio Author

Thanks Charlie. :)


Sjt. Savage 4 years ago

As the Redcoat imaged above, the only thing I am upset with is that the author called my weapon a "rifle". It is most certainly a smoothbore!

Technical note: a wench in each arm does not leave me a free hand to drink beer!


Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 4 years ago from Ohio Author

Sgt. Savage....thanks...yip...a smoothbore. You also have a point about the wenches....maybe one could tip the bottle? Thanks again for stopping by. :o)

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