My Head is Spinning
Manny is at the Table
Good Morning, Breakfastpoppers. Today is Tuesday, December 1, 2015. Our pious friend,Mantis Manny , is at the breakfast table this morning. Manny spends a good deal of his time observing little bits and pieces of life here and abroad. He has come here this morning to share some of his observations. Manny briefed me earlier on what he wished to discuss. All I can say is that my head is spinning. We hope to see you here soon. Manny is serving scrambled eggs and sausage. I will be mixing up a batch of Bloody Marys for your enjoyment.
Help for the Ailing
Thank you all for joining me this morning. I want to offer up a few examples of life here in the great USA. Come with me as we visit Framingham State University in Massachusetts. A student at the school filed a bias report in which he accused a fellow student of racism. Apparently, the offending student has a sticker of a Confederate flag atop his laptop. The sensitive student was advised to seek counseling to soothe his damaged soul. The school, thankfully and surprisingly, didn't ban the flag, but I know you will all be relieved to learn that the students involved had a "productive discussion". The Bias Protocol and Response Team will follow up on this most tragic and disturbing incident. God Bless America!
Forbidden Words
The Washington Redskins were attacked on Twitter because the team had the audacity to wish their fans a Happy Thanksgiving. The fans felt that the team was being insensitive. Now follow this reasoning if you wish. The team should have refrained from even mentioning the holiday because of the link between the Pilgrims and Native Americans. There appears to be a direct correlation between sensitivity and the inability to think straight. God Bless America!
Put That Pillow Down!
West Point cadets have taken pillow fights to a new and dangerous level. This summer a pillow fight erupted that left 30 cadets bloodied. The fights are now officially banned. I have no idea what was in those pillows, but our soldiers should consider using them in battle. God Bless America!
PETA in Trouble
PETA is in trouble. Of course, they should have been in trouble a long time ago, but now they are being sued by a family for $9 million. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals took a family pet Chihuahua from the home's porch, threw him in a van and had him killed. PETA regularly euthanizes neglected animals, but in this case they took the wrong dog. They sent a fruit basket to the family to apologize for murdering the family pet. God Bless America!
Under Attack
Protesters in Chicago attacked a Christmas tree. The protesters were angry at the fatal police shooting of a black 17 year old. They showed their contempt for the shooting by attacking a Christmas tree and shouting, "this is part of the problem." God Bless America.
Climate Charge
In keeping with the president's belief that climate change is the most pressing problem facing us today, Yale University has decided to enact a campus-wide carbon charge" to help fight the evils of climate change. This move comes on the heels of a White House climate change summit. In attendance were more than 200 universities who pledged to take steps to save the planet. Tell me, who is going to save us from the students they are graduating? God Bless America!
The Pilgrims Were from Asia!
Jesse Watters visited a restoration of a colonial village to ask people what they knew about Thanksgiving. A sip of that Bloody Mary might do you some good right about now. He learned that Columbus sailed his ship in 1942. The pilgrims landed in Long Island. Most of them were from Asia and some from South America. They crossed the blue ocean on the USS Constitution to celebrate Christ's first birthday. God Bless America!
Manny's Song
The moment I wake up
Before I stretch my wings
I say a little prayer for you.......
