The Making of a Prison Wife: A True Story

The making of a Prison Wife

My husband Fernando with my mom and dad. My father passed away from cancer 3 months later. The last person he remembered was my husband.
My husband Fernando with my mom and dad. My father passed away from cancer 3 months later. The last person he remembered was my husband.
Me and my husband with my parents. Six months later my husband would be sentenced to 10 1/2 years in Federal Prison.
Me and my husband with my parents. Six months later my husband would be sentenced to 10 1/2 years in Federal Prison.
Doing legal research for an appeal or sentence communtation.
Doing legal research for an appeal or sentence communtation.
Working on my husbands appeal. I will never give up. I spend my days going over tramscripts and legal books.
Working on my husbands appeal. I will never give up. I spend my days going over tramscripts and legal books.
Reading a letter fom my husband. We write each other everyday.
Reading a letter fom my husband. We write each other everyday.

How I became a Prison Wife

After working in corrections and the court system for over 25 years I never thought it would ever make a decision that would affect my life so profundly. I have always been facinated by the legal system and how it works. When justice was done I applauded the fairness and compassion with which it was administered, when an injustice was done I was outraged. But never in a thousand years did I imagine that the fate of someone nearest to my heart would one day be in the hands of the same system I served for so long. I was devastated and for the next two years it took to get to trial and sentencing all I had was my faith.

I watch all of the crime stories on tv, CSI, The New Detectives, Forensic Detcetives, Cops, Border Patrol and lately a new one "Prison Wives". But I never dreamed that I would become one. With three years of law school behind me and the experience I gained working in the system I have a very comprenhensive understanding of how the system works. I am familiar with the steps of the journey to trial, the motions to be filed, and all the other procedural rules such as evidence admissibility. I have read every transcript , legal document and indictment or motion filed in my husbands case. Since I am on disability my budget is very small, $ 533.00 a month, barely enough to survive on. The chance of me hiring an appeal attorney was slim to none, I also know that the chance of a fair sentence with a public defender is also slim to none. Public defenders are paid a set fee per case, usually around $1500.00 if they can get the client to take a plea and save the state money. The fee is around $3000.00 if they go to trial. Since they do not have the funds the states provide to the prosecutors, it is rare they will spend much time on a so called pro-bono case. No matter how many or few hours they put in the fee is the same. Most court appointed attorneys are trained to get their clients to take the plea even if the evidence is weak. This is usually accomplished by the threat of a longer sentence if the person goes to court and loses. Most of the time it works.

I will never forget the day I became a prison wife. It was a bright sunny day in November of 2006. Three days before my birthday and 5 days before my husbands. He had come to Dallas to find me after I became unstable due to bipolar disorder. It was a year after hurricane Katrina. We had lost everything we had. I was unable to get my medications and just lost it. I hitchhiked to Dallas from Biloxi, Mississippi. I still don't remember why or much about the trip. I was homeless and alone, sleeping outside abandoned buildings, no clothing, food and no one I knew. I was found by a church group that goes out into the community looking for the mentally ill. They gave me shelter, food and clothes. They also began the search for my husband. He finally picked me up. We had nowhere to go, no money and nothing to eat. We were sleeping at a lake on the outskirts of Dallas. It had already started to get cold. One morning my husband told me to wait there for him, he would be back soon. A week passed and I thought I had been abandoned. It would be another two weeks before I would know the harsh reality of what happened to my husband.

The call shattered my world and my peace of mind. We had been married for 25 years, he was a wonderful husband and a terrific father to my children from my first marriage. We had the perfect life until it all fell apart. I went back to the church and they placed a call to my father-in-law. The news would leave me devastated and in a complete nervous breakdown. My husband, the love of my life was incarcerated for the possession of marijuana. A man who did not smoke, drink. and attended church on a regular basis. I didn't believe it. It had to be a cruel joke. It wasn't. The attorney would not talk to me or give me information. I requested a copy of the indictment from a friend I knew from my days in the federal court. My husband had been offered $1000.00 dollars to take 400 pounds of marijuana from Del Rio to Eagle Pass, two very small towns on the border of Texas and Mexico, about 1 hours drive apart. He was stopped and arrested by border patrol. He gave consent to search his vehicle. He was transported to the Federal Correctional Institute in Del Rio where I had worked before becoming disabled. I cried and prayed then waited until the weekend to visit.

WHY, WHY, WHY?? These were the only words I could think of as I looked at his face through the glass partion. The tears streamed down my face as he told me his reason for the act he had committed. "I couldn't have you on the street with no home and food" his tears matched mine as our hands touched the glass between us. The guards, many of whom I knew left us alone and allowed us a few more precious minutes before taking him away. I didn't know what to do now. I went back to a friends house and got my clothes ready for court. The bond hearing was in two days,

At the bond hearing I was sure he would be granted bond and allowed to go home with me until the trial. He had never been in trouble and had plenty of persons to testify to his character. He is also mentally ill and has a heart condition. Both require medication and continuous care. I knew he would not get that in prison. I pleaded with the judge to grant bond. All my hopes were dashed when the prosecutor requested remand. That means no bond. He would be held until trial. I cried all the way home.

It took two years for the Government to bring my husband to trial. In that time I was confined to a wheelchair. I was unable to attend the trial since the chair weighs almost 300 lbs and the only means of transportation I had was the bus. It could not accomadate the electric. I wrote the judge a letter and explained my absence. I also asked her to show leinency and compassion. My husband chose to go to trial and take his chances. He was sentenced to 10 1/2 years in a federal prison. The judge did show compassion. The deal the attorney offered him to plead would have given him 40 years. The sentence was a huge blow to me . It meant I would have to make it all this time alone. Still I was grateful it wasn't more. My husband was sentenced under Mandatory minimums law, one that many states are trying to and some have repealed. This is a cause I work on also. It takes the sentencing discretion away from the judge and perscribes a fixed punishment. The punishment is usually out of porportion to the crime.

It has now been 5 years since I have seen my husband. He was moved to Big Springs, Texas. It is about three hundred miles from my home on the outskirts of Dallas. It is still impossible for me to visit. With the mental illness I am not allowed to travel far from home alone and the issue with the chair on the bus is the same. we write everyday and never forget a birthday or holiday or anniversary. He always sends me a gift, a handkerchief with a picture he has drawn, a swan made of post it notes...anything to remind me that he loves me. I send money every month. It's all I'm allowed to send. He will be there for 6 more years. He will be sixty-five upon his release. I pray to God every day to let me make it until that day. I spend all my time researching the transcript and working on a Presidential Communtation. With my health rapidly deteriorating, I get scared. I can't bear the thought of never holding him again.

After working in corrections and the judicial system, I believe a person should be punished for their crimes. I just believe the punishment should fit the crime. In this case there were extenuating circumstances. The patrolman who stopped him said it was because he was a hispanic male alone...that reeks of racial profiling. I will continue to work on his appeal. I will never give up and never forget.

I am a prison wife, one of many.

Visitation in Federal Prison

Her face waits expectantly, eyes glued to the small stool and plastic partition. She searches each face as they come into the line view for their long awaited visit. She is there every weekend, Saturday and Sunday. There as much for herself as for the moral support that her visit gives to him. They have been married for 26 years and though the last 4 have been painful due to his incarceration, her love remains unchanged, strong and forever. He still has 6 1/2 years to go. She has no regrets. She has promised to be there every weekend. Many times she will go without the bare necessities to have the money for the trip, just for the mere thirty minute visit that keeps her world intact and keeps his from falling apart. She fills out his money order for commissary (money he can use to purchase things he needs) while waiting. It is a scant $ 100.00, but it could be her grocery money or the money for medications, but she shares it with him gladly. He is her strength, her reason for going on.

Finally, She sees his face appear and she is called to the little booth where they will both sit on the small stools attached to the floor. Her face is covered with tears that run like a river down the carefully made-up face, at the same time her eyes and mouth break into a big smile. She picks up the phone on her side and softly says "I LOVE YOU". Tears well in his eyes as he repeats the words to her and wipes them away. I have allergies he says. Umm is her response, she knows all too well what the tears are for. Their hands touch, divided by the plastic partition, but they remain that way transmitting love, warmth and feeling through the partition. It is the only contact they are allowed. In Federal Prison there is no physical contact, no conguguyal visits. The thirty minutes will pass too fast. Between tears and smiles she tells him about her week, the kids, the grandkids. She never mentions any problems, shes not there to bring him down. he tells her about the classes he is taking, and also keeps the conversation light. Their love is apparent to all present, other visitors and staff. They know her well, she is a regular. Her eyes never leave his. "I LOVE YOU" "I MISS YOU" "I WANT YOU TO COME HOME". She drowns again in tears, trying to choke them back. " I know baby, it'll be okay." He can only comfort her with words. He wishes he could hold her and dry her tears. They change the subject and talk about better times when they were together, praying that soon it will be that way again. She knows its almost time to go. " Do you remember this song ? she asks. She always sings him a piece of a song that reminds her of him, " If you're calling about my heart it's still yours, I should have listened to it a little more and it wouldn't have taken me so long, to know where I belong. And by the way boy this no machine you're talking to...can you tell this is Dallas, and I still love you." He smiles and tries to push his hand closer to hers, to feel her through the partition. She sees the guard go by and touch his shoulder, that means five more minutes. Her tears fall fast and hard now, the hardest part is leaving and leaving him there. The guard noticing her distress and anxiety comes closer and gives them an extra 30 minutes, "but don't tell anyone". She smiles again, grateful for the extra time. She would give anything to touch him or at least a small kiss, but she is happy just for the extra time to be in his presence. She looks at the face she loves so much...a part of her dies inside. They spend their extra time saying a thousand "I LOVE YOU'S". Finally it is time to say good-bye. "Till next week, take care, I love you". He gets up to go...she remains seated, watching, throwing kisses, until he dissappears behind the heavy iron door. She gets up sobbing, from her heart. Other visitors stare with compassion or curiorosity. The staff say goodbye and tell her not to cry, its only a week. To her its an eternity.

Outside she stands for a few brief seconds, contemplating the huge brick and concrete monster behind the razor wire. It holds the power over her life, the one person who ever loved her unconditionally. Her tears fall freely now. As she drives away, she looks in the rearview mirror until she can no longer see. She cries all the way home. Dropping her purse and keys on the couch, she grabs a pen and paper and starts to write... it's not a journal. It's a letter to him. She will write everyday until time for the next visitation. " I LOVE YOU " she begins.

An Update: Executive Commutation

 I have applied for executive commutation of my husbands sentence to time served. Unlike state sentences which are decided by the governor of the state, Executive communtation is decided by the President. All i have left now is to pray.

I have noticed many readers but no comments, please feel free to leave a comment good or bad. I appreciate your time in reading. I don't offend easily...I have heard it all from "He got what he deserved" to "A criminal is a criminal". I in no way condone the actions of my husband but I do feel the punishment should fit the crime. In a state that offers probation for murder, has the highest death penalty executions of any in the nation and lately dismissed thousands of cases because the suspect had not been apprehended, the sentence seems a little harsh.

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Comments 29 comments

2 years ago

I just wanted to say how courageous and strong I think you are from reading all of this. Not only have you had to comfort yourself alone but have had to keep your faith which is very important. We don't know why things happen the way they do or why we are apart from the ones we love but in the end it does make us stronger. I am not a prison wife or a wife for that matter but I am separated at times from someone I love deeply and knowing how I feel when I am away from that person I couldn't imagine the intensity that you feel it or the caliber. Thank you for telling your story and know that you have people listening to you and that God will always comfort you in the hour of your need. I hope you get to reunite with your beloved soon and you can make up lost time by getting lost in each other once again. I am in love with love that is like this and I wish you the very best. Many blessings!


Rhudson profile image

Rhudson 2 years ago from California

I am a prison wife too something that I never imagined or something my ex co-workers and college classmates would be in disgust to know. I know you are saying why because I have over 25 years of law enforcement ranging from but not limited to law enforcement and the courts. Also, I graduated from one of the top colleges in the nation. My husband was in the military and got caught in uniform in the US with marijuana. This has been the craziest thing that with our backgrounds we could ever have imagined not in our wildest dreams. We have lost just about everything we had as well as all of our so called friends. I think at first I was numb and he wanted me to just leave him. My first time having to visit a prison made me sick and in disbelief ...The only thing that was good was it was not in my state because former friends would have been in shock.

I was one of the well known law enforcement officer's in my state and to go to a prison and be looked upon and talked to like a common thief has and still is an eye opening plight...The thing is I had never looked or talked to people the way I have been treated . The officer's at the prison where my husband is all found out my "little secret"! That I am a veteran officer wow. I could go on and on but will stop loved your story if anybody ever needs to know about things from the inside or the outside feel free to contact me....Thanks


amynluv profile image

amynluv 3 years ago from Missouri

I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your husband. I am also bipolar, and am a part-time wheelchair user. I can't imagine what you both must be going through. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I could do more.


scares 4 years ago

Yes I am a prison wife woman with 3 young children.

The oldest is only 10 and the smallest is 3.

I do not know how I will make it. But I think we will be OK inchaallah


octaviana patino 4 years ago

I just want to say that thank god that you get to see your husband in my husband's case the judge ordered for me not to have contact with my husband I always thought the bible was respected and never thought someone could make to stay away from the man I married for better or for worse!


lyndsey 4 years ago

i loved your story and as a wife of a federal inmate, i did not know about how you could ask for executive commutation. my husband is being sentanced by a judge that is very bias to the cases involving drugs due to the fact his daughter over dosed on it. I believe he should not have been on the cases and your story has given me some hope.


Annette Lewis 5 years ago

I always love reading about other "prison wives."

My story: tnalewis.blogspot.com


me 5 years ago

PS- what do you tell people when your Husband is away in Prison...I know you can tell them the truth but I don't really feel it is any of their business. If they find out..they find out...but right now i really don't need judgement...they don't know what kind of man he is...I do!

and what do you tell small children?


me 5 years ago

wow! I am touched by your situation. I too am in a similar situation and can relate more than others. I am in the beginning of this journey, he leaves next month. I have my college degree and I am from a family of law enforcement (we both are). I have always stayed out of trouble and away from the wrong crowd. I never in a million years imagined myself in the situation I am currently in. I too agree that "a person should be punished for their crimes but the punishment should fit the crime." It is very hard to find people who care or understand because to be honest no one cares until it happenes to you...I never did. I wish the justice system was more fair...for people who think it is not flawed...do your research. Sentencing should be based on an individual basis. Not to mention an average person...with out the proper legal help will be railroaded by the DA and the prosecutor...whom are all chasing their own motives and not looking out for the well being of the defendant. Peoples lives are in hand and they are being handled so carelessly. It kills my heart. But we are strong...and like my husband tells me "babe this is temporary we are blessed"

"a man who stands for nothing will fall for anything"

“Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion.”

I wish you the best of luck and God bless


christalluna1124 profile image

christalluna1124 5 years ago from Dallas Texas Author

Juan,

Thank you so much. I will be in touch. You are an excellent example of not judging others lest thou be judged. I look forward to having you as a fan.

warmest regards,

Chris


Juan Meza profile image

Juan Meza 5 years ago from McAllen, Texas

Anytime you need to talk...my contact info is on my page if you'd rather not have it all over the Hub. Take care and read my hubs I'm going to do something new..just for you.


christalluna1124 profile image

christalluna1124 5 years ago from Dallas Texas Author

Juan,

Thank you so very much for taking the time to read this hub, as you from your experience know it is my favorite of all the hubs I have written and perhaps the hardest to read when I see comments like yours and the ones above and realize that there are so many of us in this situation hurting on both sides of the razor wire. It has been six years now and I was recently notified that he was in an accident in the kitchen working and received 3rd degree burns on 50% of his body. I am desolate, our children are grown and gone and live in other states, my son is attending a university in England on a scholarship, so asking them to re-arrange their lives to accommodate me is not fair or an option to me. I applaud you and your wife's courage in forgoing visits during your time inside to provide for your children and to cause both of you less pain. Something you said rings so true "she would leave more hollow", you would think that after so many years in the system I would have been more able to cope but as I said to no excuses above..."you never imagine that this will touch your life or someone you love". I look at the criminal justice system through somewhat jaded eyes now and it is harder for me because I know what actually goes on behind the visitation walls. As an officer I always made sure that I never allowed my "cellies" to be mistreated on my watch...but I could not be there all the time. It now hurts me to realize that so many do not understand how easily this could happen to them and are so quick to judge. I am a kinder, more forgiving and less judgemental person due to my time as an officer and everything I know from the inmates and their families that I came to know. It is great respect that I tell you and your wife that your comments and experiences are what make it bearable for me now. "GOD BLESS YOU MY FRIEND, KEEP US IN YOUR PRAYERS" .

Warmest regards,

Chris

A prison wife, one of many


Juan Meza profile image

Juan Meza 5 years ago from McAllen, Texas

Wow, all I can say is that my wife waited for me for 14 years while I did my time. I disagree with "Don't make excuses". When I was in prison I would make all sorts of excuses so my wife wouldn't go through the burden of having to go see me in prison. Why? Well, for one, because I love her and I would much rather she put that money towards our children and their table than spending it on a road trip which would leave her a bit more hollow than when she went.

Many times I witnessed friends of mine devastated by the loss of their entire family...due to an accident on the way to see them. I would rather err on the side of caution than take that risk. There are sacrifices on both sides of the razorwire and she as my wife would smile and act as if she wasn't hurting...and I as her husband would do the same...for the sake of sanity and for their well being. Now that I am out we talk about these things and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Stay strong and I am sure that if you can't make it to see him...he understands. Hope you feel better.


christalluna1124 profile image

christalluna1124 5 years ago from Dallas Texas Author

Bernadette, Ms. Mills, Eliza, Brittany and Ginger:

Your stories are heartbreaking. I am glad to to know my hub touched your hearts and that I am not alone. It is so very hard and I die a little each day. But hold on my friends!!! God will get us through it. Please feel fre to contact at this email, it would be a pleasure to 6talk to each of you, maybe together we can get through our trials. christaldyanluna@att.net i look forward to hearing from you.

God Bless,

Chris


Ginger 5 years ago

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm a prison wife as well. I can relate to yours. I never dreamed I would be in this place. My husband was backed into a corner one night before our second child was born...it right at the crash of the economy he lost his job and couldn't find another one, drs said no work for me b/c my blood pressure....we were so broke that we were taking toliet paper from public bathrooms..our car broke down one night, and he snapped and robbed a gas station...no one was hurt but he was caught. We were lucky at sentencing and only got 8 years 10 months to serve. The baby I was pregnant with will now be 3 in a couple weeks and I'm still married, though most don't understand why to my husband and standing by his side.

Hang in there and once again thanks for sharing your story


Brittany  5 years ago

I am a struggling mother of 2 and married to an inmate who is serving a 20yr sentence in federal prison. it is hard and I comend every woman or man who is sticking there loved ones side. I live in NC and he is currently in Texas so it does make it hard to go see him all the time but when he was in the county every week we went. I've been to texas a couple times and I am planning to take another trip soon. I pray for every wife that is in this struggle because a lot of people dont understand it and I pray they never get in a situation to where they have to. I thank you for this blog or website and I pray for you and your health as well as your husband. I want to write a book on my experience because its not often talked about its always looked at as something horrible to be in love with someone who made a bad decision. Well if I never hear from you I just want you to know as well as others your in our prayers.


Eliza 5 years ago

Thank you for this. There are times that I feel as though no one could possibly understand the pain I feel whenever I have to say goodbye after a visit with my husband. Sometimes, it's hard to remember that there are so many other women in these shoes, too.


Ms. Mills 6 years ago

Hello, I want to first start off by saying you are an inspiration to me! My fiancé is currently serving time in a prison in Georgia. He is up for parole soon, I'm so worried because I live in texas and he is not allowed to parole to anyone outside of his family! We have been trying to get married for 2 yrs! Unless we r married he cannot come here. He has no one in Georgia and no one who will take him in, I m afraud he will b just out there with nowhere to go. I'm hoping you would have some suggestions on what I might do!

God bless

Ms. Mils


Bernadette 6 years ago

YOU KEEP ON PRAYING! THE LORD IZ FAITHFUL! I BEEN PRAYING FOR 15YRS FOR MY FAMILY TO GET OUT AND COME HOME AND I GOT THE BLESSED MESSAGE TODAY THAT HE'S APPROVED AND ON HIS WAY! NO MATTER THE REJECTION OR THE HARD BLOWS THE SYSTEM THROWS...U KEEP ON PRAYING! U AND UR HUBBY CAN HANDLE THE WHIPZ! STAND STRONG & I PROMISE U THAT HE WILL SOON BE HOME WITH U!! GOD BLESS BOTH OF U!


christalluna1124 profile image

christalluna1124 6 years ago from Dallas Texas Author

Kaycie,

I am so sorry. I truly understand your pain. Alot of what happens will depend on whether the charges are Federal or state. also why has the lawyer not asked for a bond reduction? The best advice i can give you from experience is don't be scared into taking a plea...I wish i could tell you it would be okay, but I truly can't. There are so many things that factor into the eqation. The fact that he was on probation and has prior offenses is going to be an obstacle for him. The fact that you have small children will benefit you at a trial..this will not be considered in a plea. I will do some research for you since i am not familiar with the laws and sentencing guidelines in your state. Please email me at christalluna@clear.net with a personal email address and i will send you my #. I will try to assist you if possible. also there are many organizations that can be of assistance to you and your children during this difficult time. The best advice i can give you is to pray for the best and expect the worst. AND never let go!! i am here for you.

Your friend,

Chris


christalluna1124 profile image

christalluna1124 6 years ago from Dallas Texas Author

Bernadette,

Thank you so much for your prayers, I can really use them now. My husband has now been put into the hole...24 hour lock down, no human contact, no phone callas home. I feel I am losing it. We still write every other day but I am not sure if he is given all of my letters. I am grateful for your seeing the ones incarcerated asd human beings, many others do not see it that way. This article was not written as an excuse for my husband but as an eye opener to the public that the inmate is not the only one who is hurting. We, the wives and children are left adrift in a sea of nothing. i thank you again for your kindness and prayers.

warmest regards,

Chris


Kaycie 6 years ago

My husband and Father of my 3 children was Arrested for 1st Degree Burglary with a deadly weapon and Assault and Battery with a Deadly Weapon as he Robbed a Restaurant at Gunpoint in order to get us money to get our own place. We had been separated for the past 5 months because he had gotten a great job making good money in another town, and we were trying to save up money to get us a place together again. It took its toll on us both. I would pressure him daily about getting us the money to bring us back together, and I feel responsible for this occurring. This is his 2nd felony charge in that county although he had completed his Formal Probation from the first sentence, he was still. Paying fines. Therefore he is now going to be charged with Violation of Probation as well. I'm numb! Absolutely terrified! I don't know what will happen, where to turn to for advice? Who can or can not help? His bond was set at $20,000 and his hearing is in 11 days. He will however receive a court appointed attorney and I'm hoping for the best. You had mentioned you had some expierence with the justice system, and I'm hoping you might be able to give me some kind of reasurance that it will be ok, if anything some insight as to what we are facing. He has a drug problem and had recently completed Rehab of 6 months. He was completely out of his mind at the time of the incident and doesn't remember any of it. I was hoping this might help him some? Our daughters are 7,4 and 2 and the thought of raising them for even a second without him is killing me. He is our world. I have been the only one to stand by him through all of his misfortunes, and I will continue to do so no matter how long I have to wait. Some people I've talked to say he could worse case scenario get 10-20 years others think Minimum of 5, some have said he may get off easy but I'm not counting on that. He seems to think he might be able to get into another rehab program? I haven't been able to speak with him at all since this happened a week ago. Its absolutely killing me. How do you pick up the pieces? How do you go on with out him? How do you mend 1 broken heart, let alone 4? We live in Oklahoma. If there is any thing you can help me with, advice, insight, comfort ect I would greatly appreciate it. You are a courageous and Strong woman for going through what you have had to go through and still be able to talk about it and continue your love for your husband. I hope the rest of his time goes by fast, and you both get to spend many many years together. Thank you for your time.


BERNADETTE 6 years ago

OMG! GOD BLESS U AND UR HUSBAND! UR AN AMAZING WOMAN & ILL PRAY FOR BOTH OF U! BELIEVE ME, I KNOW THE PAIN! I'M DROWNDING IN MY TEARS JUST READING THIS AND THE SONG TORE ME UP! THE SYSTEM IS HARSH ON THE WRONG OFFENSES! I DON'T GET THAT PART AT ALL, THE SEX OFFENDERS OR MURDERERS GET OUT SOONER THEN OTHERS! I HAVE A HUGE HEART FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE INCARCERATED...I DON'T LIKE TO LABEL THEM AS "inmates" BECAUSE IT BELITTLES THEM! THEY ARE STILL HUMAN AND I WISHED SOCIETY WOULD C IT AS THAT! U TAKE CARE OF URSELF AND PLEASE TELL YOUR HUSBAND TO STAY STRONG IN THERE! YOUR MORE THEN WELCOME TO EMAIL ME @ DBRATTZ@YAHOO.COM. GOD BLESS U!


christalluna1124 profile image

christalluna1124 6 years ago from Dallas Texas Author

KK, Thanks so much for stopping by. Also thank you for your prayers they are much needed. I am hoping the sentencing laws will be repealed soon in the future. Until then,

warmest regards,

Chris


KK 6 years ago

ALl the stories are so moving . I can not but pray for well being of each one of you and wish that our legal systems could have a heart too .


christalluna1124 profile image

christalluna1124 6 years ago from Dallas Texas Author

Dear Excuses,

Thank you for your comment on my hub but I think you fail to understand the severity of my situation. Like your mother I would do whatever is necessary to be able to visit my husband. The circumstances are very different. There is no family or friends to take me even if I could go. I am alone, almost incapacitated and require 24/7 supervision by a physician or registered nurse. I am unable to cook, bathe myself, or even dress myself now. Due to my loss of vision I require speech regocnition software that does not always spell my words right. My health is declining rapidly and my doctor has given me 7 to 10 years to live. I am on 24/7 oxygen and am not allowed to go outside my house without supervision of my healthcare workers due to my physical and mental disabilities, including severe memory loss, and seziure disorder. Before you condemn me or suggest that I am amking excuses let me point out a few things to you. I am a very highly educated woman, 27 years of that education was working in the correctional systems and the courts, as well as many well known attorneys. The one thing I can assure you is that I do love my husband very much and that my greatest fear is not seeing him again before I die. You were very lucky to have your mother visit you and stand by you during your incarceration but that the exception not the rule. As a former correctional officer I can attest to this as a fact. I hope that you were able to take something positive away from your experience in the criminal justice system. I live on $433.00 a month disability and still always find a way to make sure my husband has what he needs, I write daily as does he. As I do not judge you for your decisions please do not judge me for things beyond my control. may god bless and keep you.

Warmest regards,

Chris


don't make excuses 6 years ago

As an ex-prisoner I get upset with people that make excuses for themselves Look if you really love a person like you say you love your husband and you can't go to see him because your handy cap or whatever reason. My mother lived more than a thousand miles low income but she would sell tamales if she had to to earn for gas an pay someone to take her to see me. She stuggle diabitic can hardly see all other kind of sicknesses but she loved her daughter and never did she live me in the time of need. That is love


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christalluna1124 6 years ago from Dallas Texas Author

Maria, thank you so much for your touching comment. I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Due to my disability I am unable to visit my husband. I have not seen him for 5 almost 6 years. I feel that no one understands. To society he is a criminal, to me he is and always a wonderful, loving, father and husband. I know how it feels to barely make it. Many months i get my lights cut off, or go without but I have to take care of him too, as he did me for 27 years this past April 30th. He is also a long ways from me. I would give the rest of my life for one yesterday with him again. I am 50, he is 58. With my health and his and our ages, I am so afraid I will never see him again. Please write me at my personal email address...I would to love to correspond some personal things with you.

Warmest regards, keep the faith.

Love christal


Maria 6 years ago

I too have had a similar experience to yours. My husband was sentenced to 30 years in Prison, in Del Rio too. It is sadly a very unfair place and I feel for you. I have been married to mine for over 30 years, I know him, I know he didn't do what they have accused him of. It is such a sad thing. The judge had him moved as far as possible from his family (our two children), so he can't be visited. I have my own set of problems because I was a strong supporter of my husband and now I too have been accused...I am stuck in Mexico. They pulled the divide and conquer. I have such a hard time struggling here all alone, and I miss my love terribly. I often don't even have food to eat. It is hard, he doesn't know everything that is happening to me here, which is good, but all I can do is support him. He is my love. It has been 3 years now. So many more to go if we don't win the appeal.

HUGS and hope things get better for you. I am so afraid of not living long enough to see mine. It is a death sentence for a 55 year old man.

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