Things, No Matter When I Hear Them, Irritate Me to No End

Source

People who

buy a cold beer, drink half of it and then leave the bar. Now tell me this does not bother you. It may not depending on our backgrounds. I was raised in a childhood of poverty, but that was not my parents' fault. They did all they could to provide food and clothing for my sister and me.

Why I feel this way about the half a beer or half a plate of food being left is that I valued what I was blessed with in my younger days and was thankful to get it. One of the most valuable things my parents taught me was never to waste anything.

Since we are talking about irritation

let me have the liberty as well as your patience as I want to tell you a few more things that when I see or hear them, I get severely-irritated. Not to the point of taking it out on innocent people and animals, I just sit and stew in complete disbelief that even today in 2015, people insist on saying and doing the same things over and over again--the things that I am sure that others have told these people who do such things, "Shut up! Enough is enough."

When the coming attractions are far better than the movie you paid to see.
When the coming attractions are far better than the movie you paid to see. | Source
A state trooper who intentionally takes his time to punish you for speeding.
A state trooper who intentionally takes his time to punish you for speeding. | Source
People who just have to talk when they get to the first of the line making me late.
People who just have to talk when they get to the first of the line making me late. | Source
When a Hispanic sales clerk speaks better English than you do.
When a Hispanic sales clerk speaks better English than you do. | Source
Please. I beg you. Just answer the phone.
Please. I beg you. Just answer the phone. | Source
Food is for eating, not made for games.
Food is for eating, not made for games. | Source
What did women shave their legs with before razors were invented?
What did women shave their legs with before razors were invented? | Source

See if any of these things irritate you?

1.) The telephone ringing in a scene on television and the actor/star just stares at it until it rings eight times. By now I am yelling, "just answer the doggone telephone!"

2.) People who order a beer and take two sips and leave the scene in a movie. Now if they lived in the real world and how expensive beer really is, they would appreciate a cold beer and drink it all. (see photo at top).

3.) When I am sitting in a church service and someone gets choked on something and begins to coughing uncontrollably. Of course I am sympathetic, but most of the parishioners begin to stare at me. Can they now see that "I" am not the one bending over in the aisle coughing his head off?

4.) Children under the age of 10, talking to their parents in TARGET as if they were the family pet.

5.) I do business with this tool company in Mississippi. My name, address, telephone number and other information is already filed in their computer. Today I was there purchasing a tool to help me with birdhouse building and the girl on the cash register asked me twice for my phone number. I could not resist the temptation. I asked, "why?" (Actually it felt good).

6.) Prior to the 1800's, the films and television shows never reveal how womenfolk shave their legs. Ever thought about that one? I mean. What woman then or now is going to walk around in those multi-layered dresses with hair on their legs that equal the hair on King Kong's legs? And these films and shows were way before the razor was invented.

7.) A pretty woman gets offended at this Cary Grant-type man asking her out and proceeds to tell him off and he says nothing in his defense. Nothing. Even when she accuses him of being a newly-released convict.

8.) When my wife and I can afford to take in a movie and the coming attractions are far better than the movie we paid over $30.00 to see.

9.) At big Thanksgiving dinners and children under the age of five are just sitting with their spoons and beating their food like Ringo Starr's drums--sending food flying in every direction. But after half an hour, their parents laugh and remark, "isn't that cute?" And you look down at your brand-new suit that will cost you almost $50.00 to get dry cleaned. Yeah, it was really cute.

10.) When I attend worship service at my church and it's time to take up the morning offering and I have nothing to give. If this was not sad enough, but having the young guys glare at me for making them stop and ask me if I have an offering.

11.) A fast-food employee who insists that they are out of morning biscuits as I point behind them at stacks of the tasty items just begging to be eaten. Finally I just have to say, "is this a prank reality show starring David Spade?"

12.) A traffic officer pulls you over and then it takes him almost an hour to get out of his car and walk to your side of the car to tell you the charge. Even when you tell him that you are en route to work, he just chuckles and continues his "snail pace" of keeping people like you and I off the streets.

13.) A state highway employee, aka/ a flagman, who holds up traffic when work is being done on the highway, falls fast asleep on his flag pole and traffic stacks up so far that the National Guard is summoned to help with this "crisis."

14.) You are going to buy a shirt from a department store and the clerk speaks better English than you.

15.) No matter if I am watching television or enjoying a radio broadcast, someone is just bound to use, or over-use I will say, this phrase: "Yeah, and we are taking this cooking contest to another level." Yeah, you and the rest of the catch-phrase-lacking people in the public eye. I am not going to mince words. I am sick of this one phrase, "take something to another level." I am as sick of this as I was this one: "Mr. Dickson will be so angry at you we will be in World War III."

16.) Before the day when cars had headlights that turned themselves off, I despise those films where the stars, mostly detectives, run down a lawbreaker and finally catch him in an old factory, but they get out of their car, leave their doors open and lights on. This irks me so much that as a young man I wanted to go into a life of crime.

17.) On COPS, the scene when nine burly, husky cops all get hold of a scrawny dope pusher and put him on his face while holding his arms and yelling, "get your arm behind you . . .Now!" Sir, let me point out that no criminal can do this unless you turn loose of his arm.

18.) When I am discussing a topic with a girl or guy and they get to voice all of their opinion, but when I start my rebuttal, all I hear is a "whatever," as they stomp away never hearing my side of the argument.

And this one that I choose as THE most-annoying thing ever . . .

  • Wealthy rock musicians or film stars when interviewed on talk shows or in tabloids, talk about excessive depression in their lives about being wealthy and always having plenty of money . . .well, buddy. If that cash bugs you, then here I am. Give it to me. Problem solved.

Source

There is nothing wrong

with this food. Fact is, I wish I had a plate of this right now. Why would anyone be so self-centered as to leave food this good on a plate? I know. They are dieting. They think eating all on their plate(s) looks like they are obese. Both are stupid reasons, but so is leaving food on a plate that could be enjoyed by many in Third World countries and this one, I might add.

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Comments 15 comments

cat on a soapbox profile image

cat on a soapbox 15 months ago from Los Angeles

Hi Kenneth! I agree with you on many of these and have one of my own: why do some people tell you a party starts at a certain time, but, when you arrive a half-hour late, you're still the first one there?

Congratulations on your Hubbie award for Funniest Hubber- that's quite an honor! All the best, Cat:)


Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 15 months ago

Yes you are my favorite hubbie writer, and always keep me laughing with those pictures and statements , the funniest one for me was Charles Bronson with the serious look, don't move to help my wife,

You have others , thank you and HP for your recognition of your good work. With love KT.


PAINTDRIPS profile image

PAINTDRIPS 15 months ago from Fresno CA

Congrats on your big win... I voted for you by the way. I agree with you on most of these although some went over my head. Like the guy in a department store speaking better English? I do hate going to a doctor's office and paying someone to examine me but not being able to understand what he/she says is wrong with me because their English is so bad.

Blessings,

Denise


bradmasterOCcal profile image

bradmasterOCcal 15 months ago from Orange County California

You compare these to getting an actual knife in your side.

I will take these instead.


Susan Sproull 15 months ago

Congratulations on you hubby award Kenneth. Well deserved.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 13 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest Susan,

Thank you sincerely for your sweet words. May God bless you richly.

Please keep in touch for after my heart cath for congestive heart failure, I don't get out much and HP is a great way for me to stay in touch with my dear friends.

Again, thanks.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 13 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

bradmaster OCcal,

To each his own. I was only making a realistic comparison of how much these things, if heard over and over, can irritate me.

And I am being honest.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 13 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

cat on a soapbox,

I love your title. And I offer you my sincere thanks for the kind words about my Hubbie. I don't want to sound ungrateful, but winning awards is not why I write these hubs. I do it to make YOU and my followers laugh and be happy if only for a little while.

Honest.

Please keep in touch.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 13 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Sweet KissandTales,

"Thank you so very much for this and all of your notable comments. I appreciate you, My Dear Friend, for taking time to read and leave such an uplifting comment."

"You just be cool and be patient with me as I get past this recovery of the heart cath for congestive heart failure and mention me in your prayers and I need to return the statement . . .you are MORE than my Friend."

You are a Gift from God.

Love, Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 13 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear PAINTDRIPS/Denise,

My warm thanks to you for reading and commenting on this hub and for your vote on the Hubbie Awards. I can never pay you or those who voted for me back. Oh, how I wish I could.

My followers would be so showered with good gifts that they would be dizzy with happiness.

Thanks again.


Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 13 months ago

Hi Kenneth still trying to send you a email out.


Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 13 months ago

Just sent you a note , let me know if you got it.


Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 13 months ago

Also getit there is not a comment box under your name on my screen or device. I believe people devices limit space and comment boxes. So the next available box was under my own name. Not yours. Do you understand


Kiss andTales profile image

Kiss andTales 13 months ago

Now I did post on the wrong subject , it is hard to use a mobile device when writting or commenting , Kenneth please delete my comment to getit.

Sorry for my errors when posting .


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 13 months ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest KissandTales,

Sweetie, you worry way too much, but I am one to talk. I worry a lot also. I DID, praise God, get your sweet note that made my day. Honest. I just love how you write and your style.

Write to me anytime about anything.

With Love, Kenneth

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