World, Where Did Our Common Sense Go?

Every single day I witness another shining example of stupidity, ignorance, or just plain idiocy. It causes me, or more properly it allows me the opportunity to cause myself to lose patience, to get upset, angry, or have my mouth hang open in utter disbelief. At times, my only thought is "How did they live this long?"

Today's example comes to us from the book of "What do you mean this is a one way street and I am going the wrong way?". I had to go over to the junior High school here in town to pick up a couple of sports physical forms for my children. I followed the one way road around the corner and headed for the designated parking area. Coming my way was a little blue Prius. Now, I guess that perhaps this person was thinking that by driving this gas friendly, environmentally friendly vehicle that he was doing enough for the world that he was now free to break a different set of laws. I frantically waved at him before easing my SUV out of his way and into the parking areas along the road. As this is in the school pick up and drop off area, there is one lane of traffic in the middle of the street and parking on both sides. The parking area was the only place I had to go to avoid getting hit by this little bitty car.

I sat there shaking my head, my hands, and my thoughts as he blithely drove by, not a care in the world as his little squirrels happily ran on their wheel under his hood. I know they say ignorance is bliss, but really...

God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,

The courage to change the things which should be changed,

And the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Amen.

One day last week while leaving work and heading for home after an 11 hour, extremely trying and taxing day I witnessed not one, not two, but three acts of idiocy. A trifecta!

I locked the gate to the lot as I left and turned onto the road home. I had traveled about a hundred yards when I watched a woman in a car look at me through her window, make eye contact, and deliberately back out in front of me. Act of Idiocy #1. I slammed on the brakes, stopping just short of her bumper. She then sat there just long enough to get me frying quite nicely before moving off and approaching the stop sign another hundred yards up the road. She stopped as there were cars apporaching from the left. Once the first of them cleared, she turned abruptly left and into the oncoming traffic! I sat in disbelief as she pulled close to the curb in order to reach out and check her mail box. Yes, check her mail box. Vehicles were honking at her, swerving to their left into the oncoming traffic lane in order to miss her. Act of Idiocy #2.

Thank God I had to turn right and was able to leave her far behind. I traveled another quarter of a mile or so to the next stop sign. I dutifully stopped, looked both ways on this highway, and pulled out when it was clear. Immediately I saw ANOTHER car backing up the driveway, look directly at me, and back right out into this 45 mph zone in front of me. I stepped on my brakes once again, coming to rest so close to this car that a child could not have walked between us. He placed his car into drive and sped off, leaving me behind fuming and biting my lips to halt myself from saying what I desperately desired to say yet I knew it would not be either heard by anyone other than myself and God, and that it would offend Him greatly. This was Act of Idiocy #3, thus completing the trifecta.

Then, a message from the Heavens arrived. Have you ever heard of Karma? Do you believe in it? Well, this day I saw Karma in action. As this person sped away intent on leaving me behind in his dust, a truck hauling an oil tanker come up to the highway, hesitated just long enough to assure the driver that someone was indeed approaching his position, and then HE pulled right out in front of the car that had just pulled out in front of me. Suddenly the day was bright and sunshiney again and all was right in the world.

Was it wrong of me to take pleasure in that driver's misfortune? Didn't think so!

Some years ago I worked at a supercenter as the manager of the meat department. The department phone rang and I answered it. A cashier was asking if we could ad match a brisket with a local competitor for $1.19 per pound. I stood there in shocked silence for a moment before responding "Well, if they want to, I guess we can. But our price is $0.88 per pound. I don't have a problem ad matching for a higher price, but there's a sign hanging right over the briskets advertising our price. I don't know how they could have missed it. Heck, the price is ON the brisket!"

I hung up and started chuckling to myself. One of my workers came over and asked what was so funny. I told him, and we both had a good laugh. Then I said "What kind of idiot can't see this great big sign? Man, some people are so stupid!"

"Excuse me sir."

A bad feeling began in my stomach as I slowly turned around. A woman stood before me smiling. "Could you show me where the briskets are? I just wanted to see for myself this big old sign saying $0.88 per pound."

Gulp. "Uh yes Ma'am, they are right over here." I showed her to the briskets.

"Well bless my soul, there is a big sign there. I don't know how I missed that!"

"Uh Ma'am, are you the lady who wanted to ad match the brisket?" Oh please don't be her!

"Yes, I am, and you're right: I must be stupid to have not seen that! Oh well, have a great day and thank you!" She smiled and waved as she walked away.

I thought she was the idiot, but I ended up being the bigger one that day.

Did you watch the video just above this block of text? Did you realize what just happened? Let me paint you a picture. They say a picture is worth a thousand words; personally I think this video is worth just one word.

Idiot.

These upright humanoids are shooting a .50 caliber sniper rifle at a target. That target was a steel plate. Said plate is oriented in such a manner as to reflect (ricochet) the bullet back in their direction. Listen closely and you will here the shot, the strike, and the ricochet. Look closely and you will see the bullet kick up dust in front of the shooter just before it strikes the shooter's ear covering, thus blasting the ear covering from his head.

Too bad the bullet was ju-u-u-s-s-ttt a bit outside.

As a friend of mine says,

"They're out there among us,

And they're breeding."

In closing, I will leave you with photographic proof that they are out there, walking among us, breathing and breeding. Dispute these pictures if you will; one must only look in order to see the truth.

And brother, sometimes the truth ain't very pretty!