An Ultimatum From My Wife!

The Ultimatum...

Okay fellow Internet marketers, here's the deal. My wife has given me a ultimatum. Either give up my Facebook account or we are through. What do you think? I just opened it 2 weeks ago. I only opened it because I finally realized the power of this website. I realized that it would give me the extra exposure that I would need to for more people to see the websites that i am promoting. She says that she thinks that its kind of funny how I was dead-set against websites like Facebook and Myspace, and now "I want the extra exposure..."

In all reality, I do want the extra exposure. We all want that, but do we have to give up what we are doing on the internet to satisfy our significant other? I told my wife that the real reason that she is so dead-set against me having a Facebook account is because she doesn't trust me. I also told her that the most that I do on Facebook is provide link to whatever Squidoo lense that I have just finished. (Anyone of you out there who have used Squidoo knows that after you have published your lense there is a link at the top of the page for sharing it with Facebook and Twitter.) Am I wrong for wanting the extra exposure or should i just close the account?

I have given this woman everything that I have. I love her but i think that she is wrong and she refuses to budge. I think that it is important to note that in the past when we had arguments that I was the one who gave in to her demands to keep the peace. But I don't think that I should do that now. In the past, MOST of the time I'll admit that i was wrong. But this time I know I'm right.

Ultimatum ( cont...)

I know I'm right because if this Internet marketing thing starts to get big, ( which I know it will...) my wife will be the number one recipient of the spoils. I'll admit that I wasn't going to tell my wife about the Facebook account because I knew that she would react like this, but I went against my better judgement and here we are. Why do some women do this? Why do some women go out of their way to stop you from achieving your dream?

I told her that I'm not on Facebook to try and meet new people! I told her that I don't want anyone but her! How many times do I have to profess my love for this woman? Why is she so insecure? I asked her why she doesn't trust me and she didn't respond. So I know that's it. She doesn't trust me. What do you think? Do you think that I should give in and delete the Facebook account?

I have been doing this I.M thing for about 2 years and am just now starting to see some positive results. I really don't have time to do it but every chance that I get to do it I jump on the Internet. I have received a couple of checks from Clickbank so I know that this stuff is for real. It just takes some time, perseverance and patience. To all of you new guys out there that are not satisfied with your progress in I.M and are thinking about giving up, hang in there and keep at it, it'll come through for you. Just keep at it.

Ultimatum poll

Should I close the Facebook account?

See results without voting

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Ultimatum Comments... 4 comments

franki79 7 years ago

I voted on the poll yet, I am on the fence about it, on one hand I say leave it open,,, call her bluff (I hate utimatums) but on other hand this is your marriage that we're talking aobut it.

You could do a couple different things that might smooth things over between you and your wife and still be able to go into Facebook/MySpace. One- let her come in and see what your doing online,

two (and I did this with my ole man without him having to ask), give her your email address/password just to show her that you have nothing to hide and put include her clearly in your profile.

I got into facebook and myspace after declearing them stupid, childish and another way to waste time on the internet instead of doing our work/taking care of household responsibiities.

By mine was so I could get back into contact with friends and family.

Thanks to facebook, I reconnected with my oldest friend a couple/few weeks ago and yesterday my sister contacted me on myspace. We also use fb to keep up with one of his sons since we never get a chance to talk to him.

I don't believe anybody should put themselves between anothers hopes and dreams, nor should you let them. Nor do I think you should make all the compromises in the relationship just to keep the peace, the more you do it and makes you feel like a pushover and makes you feel like you have a diminished role in the marriage and you may even start to resent her.

Has she considered thereapy? I think (if this blows over) that you could stand to gain from seeing a couples counilor or a marrage counilor/therapist. It seems to me the lines of communication is not always open. And it sounds like she has self esteem/self worth/trust issues.

I can't speak for anybody else but personally if a person gives me an ultimatim, the gloves are off and we're going toe to toe for 10 rounds. I look at an ulitimatum for what it is, a control move, 'do what I say, how I want it done and exactly how I said or else. It's a power move, a way for one partner to take all the power, hold all the cards therefore trying to control the situation. Like I said that is just me.

Franki


klw5200 profile image

klw5200 7 years ago from Pennsauken,NJ Author

I understand completely what you are saying. I have given her the passwords for the Facebook and Twitter accounts, and she still has issues with them. I have showed her that I have nothing to hide, but she still refuses to budge. I really don't think that she understands what she is seeing.

She has gone on my Facebook acct. and she says that she ddoesn't see anything related to my "business". All that she says that she see's are my FireDept. buddies on there...chatting.(I am a full-time firefighter on my day job.) I told her that I do not chat and when I put an update to a Squidoo lense on there, it comes up on my wall.

I don't know. I'm hoping that her curiosity will get the bbetter of her and she will finally see what i am talking aabout. I have nothing to hide from this woman. I am only trying to make our situation better. Thanks for the comment.


Lauren 6 years ago

I came across your post because my partner has given me an ultimatum and I wondered what people do about such things outside of my little world. I can't help but think that ultimatums can never fix a situation. Relationships don't improve because you take it turns to get your own way. you have to find compromises and talk things through. An ultimatum reeks of toddler tantrums and a lack of care for the other person's feelings.

That being said, I voted for you to close the account. I still think a marriage should be your biggest commitment ever and if you can't commit to closing a facebook account then your marriage is probably in trouble. You said that your wife doesn't get facebook/myspace and she doesnt trust you, so you understand the reasons behind her attitude. Sometimes, even though you'd rather your partner didnt act that way, it's just the way they are. You probably knew she was like this before you were married.

I would close the account, and work on getting her own account and getting her to understand it. As for the trust issues... only you can know how to get her to trust you. You might need some kind of outside help with that, like the other comment suggests.

I thought it was interesting that you called her 'this woman' a few times. If you no longer love her it's a different story but if you do still want to be with her, I hope you put your marriage first, closed the account, and found other ways to expose your business.

Will you let us all know?


klw5200 profile image

klw5200 6 years ago from Pennsauken,NJ Author

Thanx 4 the input lauren,

I did eventually close the facebook account. And i did reconcile with my wife. Ironically, while watching the evening news, our local news mentioned how millions of people are using facebook as a platform to drive targeted traffic to their website. I just looked at her, stuck out my tongue, and said,"I told u!" And then a week later my wife got a phone that links directly to facebook and twitter.

You cannot escape the internet. And if you are planning to try 2 make a living on the internet then you need to have access to all of the free resources you can. Fortuneately, I still have my twitter. Check me out at http://twitter.com/klw5200

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