Are You Surrounded By Morons?

Surrounded By Idiots

Do you feel like you are surrounded by idiots? Have you ever wondered if you’re one?  Do idiotic instructions on products you buy make you feel the product makers think you‘re an idiot?   If so, this article is for you.

These are excerpts taken from a post-graduate stupidity course. They cover things you should or shouldn’t do.  If you’re an idiot you should probably complete the more basic courses first.

·         First, if you’re an idiot, find someone who isn’t, to read this to you.

·         Never float face down in the septic tank.  It will leave a bad taste in your mouth.  

·         Don’t apply tattoos with a wood burner.  It’s difficult to stay inside the trace lines.

·         Don’t holler at idiots.  Shouting is useless.  After all they’re idiots and it won’t have any effect.  Although, it might make you feel better.

·         Never lick the bottom of the blender while the blades are still turning. 

·         Don’t drink vinegar while eating boxes of baking soda. 

·         Never clean up nitro-glycerin with a vacuum cleaner. 

·         Don’t let friends hit you over the head with a baseball bat, unless you‘re wearing a helmet. 

·         Never adjust your outside TV antenna during a lightning storm.

·         Don’t smoke while siphoning gasoline. 

·         Don't microwave dynamite. 

·         Never dry your hair with a blow torch. 

·         Never check your blood sugar level while swimming with sharks. 

·         Never hang-glide during a hurricane. 

These suggestions are no guarantee the idiots in your life will live to a ripe old age.  However, if you’re an idiot who has continued to read up to this point, buy more life insurance.

More by this Author

  • Don't Teach Your Wife to Drive!

    There are many jokes about women and their driving. But is it true women are inferior to men when operating a vehicle? I’m going to give some advice. Husbands, let a professional do it.

  • Brief History of Personal Ads

    Surprisingly, personal ads are nothing new.They began appearing in newspapers about 300 years ago. It’s thought the first personal ad was a matrimonial advertisement appearing in a British publication July 19,...

  • Whatever Happened to CB Radio?

    CB's beccame popular during the 1970's. Partly because of the 1973 oil crisis and a nationwide 55 mph speed limit. CB’s were used to help truckers locate stations having fuel and avoiding speed traps


No comments yet.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.

    Click to Rate This Article