Close It Gently...

thank you Darwin Bell's flickr photostream!
thank you Darwin Bell's flickr photostream!


You came into my life thru my door…


feel free to stay…


but when the time comes that you’ll leave me,


please close it gently…


so it wouldn’t be hard for me to open it


again…




That’s the first letter she gave me after we were officially together. She loves sending letters to me even before that. And I was fond of reading them…made me fall for her more. The deep words and sincere emotions struck me to a deep fall.


“That won’t happen.” I said. “I won’t leave you…”


“If there’s someone leaving, it would be you.” She told me.



I must admit, I loved her and I was in love with her but ours was a relationship that started she was the one who was intensely in love. Or let’s say intensely serious about it. We were young, and pleasure was my life. It was a time of enjoyment while in love, not a serious next level of sort.


But as we breathe the air of cupid, her ways of romance pulled me in a black hole I couldn’t dare to escape. She showered me everything bout falling in love. I was drawn to the spinning wheel of her universe. I woke up one day like I was so attached…


And I woke up becoming vulnerable…just like her, afraid of losing me. I felt scared of facing that time, what if she’d leave me behind.


Just another part of life where everything falls apart… I never noticed, we came to a point where her vulnerability blinded her trust. Her jealousy destroyed it all. Or perhaps, I never noticed I took her for granted. But that’s no reasonable enough to hurt me big time.


She hurt me. And she felt sorry, regretted it. I didn’t know what to do…what to say, how to end things…or whether I should be ending things…But I remembered my promise, I’d close it gently…so did I…


And she was right, if there’s someone leaving, it would be me.


*** a true story



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Comments 30 comments

I*n*v*i*c*t*u*s profile image

I*n*v*i*c*t*u*s 6 years ago

I feel how we deal with vulnerabilities in the onset of building a foundation of a relationship and love is the main crossroads to it going further, and sets the tone. Nothing can survive without trust, though the opening note sounds romantic, it also shows questionable trust from the onset.. a reflection of maybe not trustng herself to deal with the pain of an endng. I feel thoughts are very powerful and when we write them down we give them power and if we worry of certain outcomes instead of having faith in achieving a positive outcome, we align our actions add draw to us the reality of the stronger vibration.

I don't anyway that door being closed would have made a difference, it was preset to be painful, so much that she sabatoged you from completely entering from the beginning...Does this make sense?


poetlorraine 6 years ago

aw that is a sad story, but extremely well written


blaise25 profile image

blaise25 6 years ago from close to you... Author

Thank you for being the first to comment again Invictus ;p

What you said really makes sense..it started without trust and ended there eventually. Love is about trust, without fear and doubt..and true love knows no ending because it is not afraid to end.


blaise25 profile image

blaise25 6 years ago from close to you... Author

thanks a lot Poet L ;p

I'm so glad you and Invictus always visit and leave some positive feedback :)


Micky Dee profile image

Micky Dee 6 years ago

I love your descriptions of life. I love your insight. You describe pain but pain is life as well as smelling the roses.

Thanks for the hub.


sweetjulie profile image

sweetjulie 6 years ago from nigeria

well done


christalluna1124 profile image

christalluna1124 6 years ago from Dallas Texas

blaise,

How amazingly beautiful.I can feel the pain of lost love and the desperation when you try to hold on. Extremely beautiful.

Warmest regards,

christal


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago

Blaise25, This was a Beautiful yet sad poem! Great job! Thank you for sharing, Blessings!


blaise25 profile image

blaise25 6 years ago from close to you... Author

@Micky Dee

thanks for passing by again ;p

well that's life, sweet and bitter..but sometimes we look too hard on it that we never realize it damn tastes good :)

@sweetjulie

thank you! ;p


blaise25 profile image

blaise25 6 years ago from close to you... Author

@christal

thank you :)

hope it has helped you in a positive way LOL

just so you know, that story was long time ago

TC

@Deborrah

thanks a lot. God bless :)


PureRomance profile image

PureRomance 6 years ago from Vietnam

it's a nice story, you wrote very well :).


blaise25 profile image

blaise25 6 years ago from close to you... Author

thank you PureRomance for your comments! :)


Raven King profile image

Raven King 6 years ago from Cabin Fever

Wow, this is so incredibly good but sad poem. Emphasis on the good!


Jess Killmenow profile image

Jess Killmenow 6 years ago from Nowheresville, Eastern United States

Heartfelt. And true! Wow. I always enjoy your writing.


blaise25 profile image

blaise25 6 years ago from close to you... Author

@Raven King

thank you. :) hope it didn't make you sad though

@Jess

thanks a lot for the usual visits ;p yours are enjoy to read, too


brandonfan profile image

brandonfan 6 years ago from Mid West

I wish that I couldn't relate to this so well right now. This hub twisted my heart until it ached. Very well written, tragic.


blaise25 profile image

blaise25 6 years ago from close to you... Author

hmmm I kinda feel bad now that it made anyone's heart ache more..

thanks for reading brandonfan ;p


brandonfan profile image

brandonfan 6 years ago from Mid West

Sometimes we have to ache to our bodies breaking point before starting to mend. I've realized this lately. Don't feel bad about affecting people, that's what truly great writing is all about Blaise.


blaise25 profile image

blaise25 6 years ago from close to you... Author

Yah so true, we have to let it all out so it will leave us completely. I'm glad realization has started in you, means you're ready to smile again Brands :)

thank you! TC


Cheeky Girl profile image

Cheeky Girl 6 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

Gosh, how come I only just saw this gem now? This is so amazing and rather sad. You say it happened a while ago, Blaise. Aw, honey - I hope you are over it now. It sounded like she was not that experienced, or was looking for something different in you. Were you the stronger one in the relationship, or her? Sorry for going back over the past. I was curious. I am in the same kind of boat, just going along a different river if you get my meaning. You know my situation anyway. There are brighter days ahead. As I get older (now 26) I find managing it gets a wee bit easier. If the other one is willing and trusts me, it is a lot easier, there's less to prove. You know where the hugs are, right? : )


blaise25 profile image

blaise25 6 years ago from close to you... Author

Hey Cheeky! :)

Uhm maybe becoz it was published 3 months ago? LOL But doesnt mean this one was just 3 months ago, too. Thank goodness it's not! hahaha This sad phase was ages ago and I'm so over it. But there are times (like now coz I remember it hahaha) I regret wasting too much time bout it..I know I shouldn't but I felt so dumb being so tied up that I never noticed there are still so much beautiful things outside that world.

I dunno who was the stronger one in the ship. But I could say, I was strong enough to survive that ship for so long.

Yep, there are always brighter days ahead :) I fell in love again after that. Life is so crazy beautiful you know ;) We only live like 50 years or so..So let's be in love insanely while we live :)

I'm rooting for Team Cheeky so you must take care of it :)

Thanks a lot moi friend! **hugs back


Cheeky Girl profile image

Cheeky Girl 6 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

Yaaaay! I am all for living insanely! Well sort of insanely! Well, maybe not too crazy then!..... Hehehehe! Thanks for rooting for our team! Yes, we are taking very good care of it, moi friend! I like your style! ; )


blaise25 profile image

blaise25 6 years ago from close to you... Author

Hehe yea not too much insanely, just enough ;) Which style you like? ;p BTW, I reinvented my blog site. Have a lovely day Team Cheeky! ;)


Astra Nomik profile image

Astra Nomik 6 years ago from Edge of Reality and Known Space

Hi Blaise. I'm typing this in a power cut, so apologies for any typos. I read this as suggested. I am so impressed. Yes, you are so right. I felt that anguish and fear of the thing ending, I had the doubt. But it never materialised. I am glad you are over it. I understand the closing it gently part. What a beautiful hub, full of longing but regrets and lost love. But life somehow goes on still. I am so glad I read this. Praise to you for this bold and well-written hub, blaise.

XOX


blaise25 profile image

blaise25 6 years ago from close to you... Author

I'm still half awake so typos wont be typos for me LOL Thank you for liking it. Found this one from my so old journal. I've scanned your email and thank you for the mug of hot choco that I know what I'm saying right now LOL Fear will always be there..It's just an F word like my name LMAO Fear anyway..what matter is that you're happy. Yup, this was so old in the past. I've read it again and realized it's indeed written prettyful :) Glad to share it to hear insights and learn and maybe touch others. Thanks for the praises moi friend :) Yup, life goes on. I'm happy for whatever I have right now. XO


QudsiaP1 profile image

QudsiaP1 5 years ago

You bring to life the dried paint on your canvas blaise25.

That is how love can be, though I have come to believe that if the quotient of 'who leaves who' ever comes in, it becomes painfully obvious that someone was thinking of leaving.

Still do not worry because had she not come into your life you would not have learned to love and the day some one holds your hand forever, you can shower them with all the love you ever learned.


blaise25 profile image

blaise25 5 years ago from close to you... Author

Amazing to share some dried paints..more amazing to see and hear people’s views as they see the painting..

Absolutely agree. You said some amazing life lessons here and thanks a million for that. :)


BeyondMax profile image

BeyondMax 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

Such a beautiful, yet, full of sad memories story, Fehl. You wrote it with such a heartfelt and gentleness, it took my breath away. Even if it's years from now I can still feel emotions and the whole picture behind it. It's a true gem, impressive!


blaise25 profile image

blaise25 4 years ago from close to you... Author

I'm glad it moved readers..Thank you so much, Max. I always write with emotions, if I don't write, means I have no feelings...and the paper is blank..

This one happened to me when I was in my late teens.. We all have loved and lost..I guess this was one of those chapters..


Foogevepflofe 3 years ago

I used to acquire high on existence nevertheless lately I have established a resistance.

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