Dating Madness & Rape

Once at my place we popped "Rocky 4," into the DVD and sat down in my living room with a bowl of popcorn and two Heineken's. At first he was really into the movie, but then he leaned in and kissed me. It was a brief kiss, to which he apologized about after, and then asked if it was okay for him to do it again. At that point I haven't had a man this close to me in months, and quite frankly I liked it, until he went too far by placing his hand on my breast.

When I reacted and pushed his hand away he acted as if he was offended and quickly grasped my hand. "I think you should go now," I said. "Why, you know you want this or you wouldn't have invited me in," he stated with a sinister grin on his face? "You have to leave now," I said sternly. "Not until you give me what I came for," he said and gripped my wrist tighter. Now I was in for it, I thought as I tried to figure out how I would get this man out of my apartment. Everything I learned about rape flashed before me, and I was scared beyond belief. The way he stared at me gave me the creeps, and he no longer looked hot, but devilish as he tried to unbutton his pants with his free hand.

"Wait, it doesn't have to be this way. You're right. I did want you, and still do, but it has to be natural," I said and his grin returned. "I'd prefer it that way, but will do things the hard way if you choose," he uttered before he loosened the grip on my hand, and I placed my free one on his face. "I do like it at my pace," I whispered before I kissed him on the cheek and then sniffed his neck. With this he made the mistake of letting go of my hand. As I continued to sniff him I placed my hand on his crotch and he moaned before I completely gripped it and squeezed so hard his moan quickly turned into a wail, and I tightened the grip some more. "Get the hell out of my house before you won't be able to use it again," I shrieked and he tried to grasp my hair. "Uh uh, do you like to feel vulnerable you son of a bitch," I said and watched a tear stream down his face as I gripped and made him follow me to the door. How I managed to focus on giving him the kind of pain he can't endure I don't know, but at that precise moment I didn't really care. Gary was literally led to the door by his nuts. The look on his face though haunting, was also the highlight of my day. I was amazed with even myself for thinking so quickly and even prouder that I was able to manipulate the situation and now had the upper hand.

Being raped was not going to be an option if I could help it, and I thank God he was there for me to see me through a situation I clearly placed myself in. Luckily for me it ended well. Once he left I called the police and filed an attempted rape charge. I didn't have his full name, but I did have his first and his cell number, which I gladly gave them. Months later I was called into the station to identify him in a line up, and I wasn't alone. It seems Gary had succeeded in raping two prior dates, and with each of our testimonies was now facing jail time with bail set at $500,000. It’s funny how I think about that day and recall how sweet, attentive, and caring he seemed when we first met as well as when we met at the Diner that afternoon. There was no way I would've figured this guy to be a rapist. He was gorgeous andif all else he told me was true would’ve made a great catch. During the trial it was discovered that he repeatedly raped his ex-wife throughout their marriage, and was not allowed visitation of his daughter without supervision. Again I am glad I was brave enough to conquer the fear and refuse to be a victim. No one deserves to be forced to have sex. Be it a child, woman or even a man. Yeah, not something widely spread, but it does happen. Men get raped too, and not only in jail. Gary is now doing time, and probably getting his share, but I still do pray for him and hope he seeks the help he strongly needs to face what he's done to the unlucky women he raped and belittled.

I was spared but the other women and his wife weren’t so lucky. My scars are there emotionally because that day was the scariest day of my life but they will carry scars for the rest of their lives and will forever be haunted by the things he did to them. I feel terrible just thinking about all they must’ve endured for trusting the wrong man and I thank the heavens for saving me from being in their shoes.

Rape is one thing one cannot cope with without therapy. This story although fiction has happened to many who will never be the same after and who could. If by chance you have been a victim I am deeply sorry if this story brought back some of the fears and pain you endured but my hope is that it helps in some way.

Susan B. Anna

Dating today is becoming scary, annoying and sometimes downright disgusting. You try to meet someone you can have some fun with, respect and possibly make a commitment with but you tend to only meet the ones not even worth a second thought. I met let's say Gary, for I don't want to hurt his feelings by spilling his dirty secrets, but regardless, if not that stupid; and he gets around to reading this someday he may know yes I was talking about him. Gary, oh Gary, was a guy I met while out clubbing with my friends after work one Friday. Now first let me stress clubbing was something we single women did once a month to release some stress. Yes, we loved to flirt and possibly ended up dancing with a guy or two, but we always held steadfast together, never let one leave with someone they just met, and always called each other when we each reached our perspective homes to ensure we were all safe.

It wasn't about going out, getting wasted and taking home the guy you deemed would be worth the one night stand, we had standards, morals and a lot of self-respect. Gary was just one of those guys I ended up dancing with after he slipped the bartender a twenty for the drink I'd just ordered. That first impression of him was awesome. He winked at me when the bartender handed me my money back, and then walked away. He didn't stay to hit on me that second, and I'm left with the thought that he was so cool and maybe worth talking to.

Eventually we ran into each other again and this time he asked me to dance. Here I am now dancing with one of the hottest and coolest guys in the club, my friends close by, and I am feeling great. After the second song, however, I walked off the dance floor with him following behind me. "You are an amazing dancer, not to mention extremely sexy, thanks for the dance," he said as we sat at the bar and I ordered a bottled water. For the rest of the evening we chatted, and he seemed like the intelligent sort, had a good job; and quickly mentioned he was the happy father of a four year old girl. Once he admitted this so candidly I must confess it struck a cord. Not many men admit that to someone right away, and I have witnessed firsthand how many men actually try to hide that fact until they've secured the situation. Stupid, but done on a daily basis.

Gary and I exchanged numbers that night, and since I had to work the next day on a Saturday no less the evening was cut short, and I was home by eleven o'clock on a Friday. The following morning I received a call on my cell and since I hadn't programmed his number into mine yet I ignored it and let it go into voice-mail. Upon checking my messages during break I realized the ignored call was him, so I pressed dial and he picked up on the second ring. "Hey sexy, how's your day going," he said and I beamed. "Pretty well now that I have a pleasant distraction, and you?" I asked. "Doing well myself but won't keep you since you are at work, you can call me back once you're home."

That evening I didn't get a chance to call, but he called the next day. "Hope I didn't turn you off by calling you so soon," he said and I had to laugh. "Not really but should I ask why you would come to that conclusion?" I countered. "Not really, but when can I see you again?” "Later today if you want and what and when do you have in mind? "Probably dinner at my place, or maybe yours," he said, and I wasn't sure how to respond. I liked him, this much was true but I wasn't in the habit of going to an unknowns apartment. After a long pause I finally decided we should meet at a local Diner down the block from my place, and he agreed, but not until he tried his best to convince me his place would be more suited. Once we agreed on a time, three thirty to be exact we ended the call and I called a few friends and had them meet up there as well. I stressed that they should sit at their own table and pretend not to know me. Plan was set, and I got ready for our first initial date.

Later that afternoon I met Gary at the Diner, and he was already seated at a corner booth. Once my friends saw me walk in they as well were seated three tables away from us, and I was a bit relieved. As I took off my jacket he quickly glanced at my assets, and smiled. For the occasion I wore my best fitted jeans, and clingy cardigan, which yes, accentuated my figure very well. "Amazing," he said and grinned when I stared at him. "Thanks, I replied as I sat across from him. That afternoon we got to know a bit more about each other. We each discussed our likes and wants in life, laughed at a few family outtakes, and enjoyed our meal. He was not only handsome, but smart, cool and funny, and I was beginning to like him a lot; so much I invited him to my place afterwards.