Divorce Support: Keeping Your Life on Track when Your World is Falling Apart

Getting through the day while going through a divorce can be tough.
Getting through the day while going through a divorce can be tough.

One of the most difficult aspects of grief and trauma is that the world keeps going in spite of one’s heartache.  No matter what you’re dealing with in your personal life, other people’s lives keep moving, and to some degree you are expected to keep functioning as part of that world.  That means that in the midst of your pain and confusion, you must keep most aspects of your life going – being productive at work, getting your kids to school and extracurricular activities, running errands, etc.  This can seem like an overwhelming, if not impossible, task for someone dealing with divorce.  Here are some tips for keeping your life on track when divorce is wreaking havoc on your world.

Unplugging from non-necessary activities will conserve physical and mental energy.
Unplugging from non-necessary activities will conserve physical and mental energy.

Conserve Physical and Emotional Energy

Conserve your physical and emotional energy by curtailing non-necessary activities.  If you ran low on money, you’d cut out luxuries to stretch your budget; similarly, you need to conserve your strength now by doing only what’s required to keep your life going. So go to work, but skip the office party if you’re not up to it; take your child to school, but sit out the PTA meetings. You will eventually feel up to these activities again and can resume them at that time.

A game of golf can temporarily take your mind off your troubles.
A game of golf can temporarily take your mind off your troubles.

Make Time for Friends

While dating someone new is probably too much pressure right now, make time for outings with old friends who will support you during this difficult time.  You don’t have to talk about the divorce unless you want to, and getting out of the house – and out of your head – for a few hours will keep you grounded.  Dinner is great, but a game of golf or tennis will also allow you to expend nervous energy while enjoying the companionship of your friend.

Seek Spiritual Support

Seek support from your house of worship, if applicable. Many churches, synagogues, and temples offer one-on-one and/or group support for separated and divorcing individuals. Or locate a Fisher Rebuilding Divorce Seminar; this non-religious ten-week seminar is based on the book Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends and can be very helpful in assessing and dealing with emotions, as well as letting you know that you are not alone.

Divorce therapy by telephone offers privacy and flexibility.
Divorce therapy by telephone offers privacy and flexibility.

Attend Divorce Therapy Sessions

Consider divorce therapy to help you cope with the short-term trauma of divorce, as well as to assist you in developing a new life for yourself. A therapist who specializes in divorce issues will understand what you are going through and be able to offer support as well as practical suggestions for coping with divorce.

Educate Yourself

Read books on coping with separation and divorce to help you feel understood and to gather coping tips.  You don’t have to take every word of every book as gospel; pick and choose what works for you.  Books on relationships can also generate discussion topics for your divorce therapy sessions.

Trust Yourself

Trust yourself to be able to deal with and overcome this hardship in your life, just as you have overcome others.  No matter how weak and unstable you feel, you are stronger than you think.

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Comments 2 comments

Max 20 months ago

I want to commend you on your great rercosue for parents and kids going through divorce. Divorce is a very difficult process to go through for everyone involved. As your website points out, helping children through a divorce is the most important aspect. Your kids will need help to get through this stage and onto the rest of their lives. Thanks for your great rercosue.


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Rachaelle Lynn 20 months ago from Gainesville, Florida Author

Thank you for your kind feedback, Max!

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