Waiting for the Magic? Is Your Relationship In Need of Help?
Dear Veronica,
Hello Veronica
I will try my best to make this as short as I
can. I have read many of your articles and just love how you get down
to the wire about things as well solving any issue that the person has.
First off I am 19 years old (the person I am writing about is
23). To be honest I have been in head over heels for the same person
for the past 3-4 years. We used to be next door neighbors though I was
always too shy, it never got passed the knock on the door to borrow
something or saying hello when we passed each other. He was always kind
and helped me when he could. He eventually moved to help his family
*3-4 hours away*. We have kept in touch through phone calls, emails and
whenever he's in town we'll spend some time together.
He
rarely visits the
city *where I am located* and to be honest he's not much of a Internet
guy as well. He's an avid mountain climber/marathon runner etc. So his
weekends are usually filled with activities revolving around that. He
is going to college and working as well. So to put it short he is quite
busy. There are times where it would take him a week to call me back or
even a month to email me back. I as well lead a busy life, with work,
special need family members and planning my future so I have not been
bothered by the lack of contact.
Here
is the thing, he hasn't come into town in nearly a year *which is when I
last saw him in person*. I haven't spoken to him over the phone that
much and emailed him a couple of weeks ago *No reply as of yet*. Here
is the thing.. When I speak to him or when I see him? I have this
feeling that he is indeed interested in me. He tells me that he always
enjoys talking to me, told me that I am beautiful and always pleasant
to be around. That he couldn't
believe I was next door to him the whole time.
Some have said
that he just may be dating someone else and keeping me on the back
burner. Which I can't confirm since to be honest he hasn't brought the
subject of dating anyone to me. So if he is then I have no idea, he
hasn't mentioned other women besides some of his old friends to me.
He
is suppose to come into town in a couple of months and he said when he
makes it to town he'll call me. Last time *a couple of months ago*
it was canceled due to really bad weather and he said he meant to email
me to let me know he wasnt coming *when I called to check if he was
coming into town for the event, we didn't make any plans to meet at
that time though*
Here is the main reason I am emailing you. I
have no idea what to do. Do I wait and wait for something to magically
happen? Or do I get the guts to tell him how I feel? I don't want to
surprise him and lose our friendship, I guess I am not much o f a
risk taker to be honest. I also worry that our distance is a bit of a
problem as well. Though I do not want to move on to someone else for
now * I have dated other guys though I still wind up thinking about him
at the end of the day* I feel that he is an incredible person and
someone that I can see myself spending my life with.
What do you think I should do?
Maria
P.S. I sincerely apologize for this being so long.
Dear Maria,
Honestly it doesn't sound like he's been anything more than just polite with you. If he forgets to tell you he isn't coming to town I really doubt he's thinking anything romantic of you at all. I'm sorry to be the one to break this news but, if he wanted to see you, he wouldn't forget to tell you his plans.
You could tell him your feelings if you want. Don't worry about ruining the friendship, it doesn't sound like it's much of a close friendship. My guess is he will respond by telling you he doesn't feel the same way. Hopefully this will be the closure you need to move on and have more interest in dating.
I think sometimes we spend too much time alone in our heads with things. I think this is just something you've created in your mind, and you've seen what you want to see here. While that's not uncommon, it's still not very helpful or accurate when assessing a situation, like the one you're describing.
This may be the kind of thing you'd like to speak with a counselor about. It may help more than you realize.
Good luck to you, thanks for reading.
This hub was
written by Veronica for Hubpages. If you are reading it anyplace else, it has been stolen. All text is original content by Veronica. All photos are used with permission. all videos are courtesy of youtube.
Please sendi your relationship questions to my email, located through the contact link in my profile. Thanks!
