Do You Argue In Front of Your Children?
Don't Hurt Your Children
When you and your spouse or significant other have an argument, do you do it in private, or in front of your own children?
When I was a lot younger, my soon-to-be ex-husband and I were nearing divorce. We had two very small children, and one night after I'd gotten them tucked away in bed, he and I started arguing. What we didn't realize was that our oldest child, who was around three at the time, was still awake, listening to every heated word.
At one point, she started crying, saying "Mommy, Daddy, please stop!". My husband and I looked at each other in shame as I got up and went in to console her, holding her until she finally stopped crying and fell into an exhausted sleep.
That never happened again. I never wanted my children to go through being that scared and hurt just because my ex and I couldn't get along anymore.
Aren't They Worth The Effort?
What Do You Do?
Do You Argue In Front of Your Children?
Look at Your Children--What Are You Subjecting Them To?
I see so much of this, even out in public. And I see the looks in the eyes of their children--the uneasiness, the embarrassment, and most of all...the sadness. Why, if parents love their children as much as they say they do, do they continue to subject them to this?
Honestly, I just want to say to these people "LOOK at your child--look at what you are doing to them with your raised voices and fierce hatefulness towards each other!".
Put yourself in your children's place. Try to see what is going on through their eyes. I never wanted to see that look of fright and sadness on any of my kids' faces again--hopefully you will feel the same way. And hopefully you will think twice the next time you and your spouse disagree on something and begin the hateful vitriol in front of them once more.
"What They Both Mean To Me"
A Child's Point of View
I remarried later, to the most wonderful man in the world. Arguments ceased, peace became the rule, not the exception, in our home.
One day I talked to my new husband about what happened with my daughter that fateful evening.
This song is what came from that conversation. It's been over 25 years since he and my daughter recorded this, but it still brings a tear to my eye. I can still see her little face, begging her father and I to stop fighting...
Please don't let this happen to your precious children. If you disagree with each other, go to another room and hash it out. Ask your kids to go outside and play--anything other than to be in the same room with you.
Put yourself in their shoes--it's not hard, and I guarantee that you will think twice next time you put them through that. We're all human and we make mistakes, but it's never too late to rectify them.
