"Don't Be A Puppet On A String For Anyone"

I got married at eighteen years old, so I was young and very naive and believe a lot of things that wasn't necessarily true. I was content at the time because I was a puppet with my very own puppet master, even though I didn't know it yet. If my husband said jump, I wanted to know how high, if he wanted me to do cartwheels, I did them, I would even stand on my head for him. This is why, I say you can love someone so much that you lose yourself and self respect, because you 're so busy trying to please him that you forget about yourself in the process. Some of us are so busy trying to make him or her happy, that you forgot about what makes you happy. I didn't know it at the time, but I was my own self's worse enemy because of my actions to please. As the years went by and I got a little older and more wiser; I realized that I didn't need a puppet master. All I wanted was a loving and caring husband, unfortunately me, I didn't have that in my husband.

A puppet master is someone that controls you and your actions in a relationship, and will even try and control your mind, if you let them. Puppet masters can be husbands and wives or significant others that try and control your life, if we're stupid enough to let it happen. A puppet master wants to know, where you're going; who you're going to see, when are you coming back home and your life is literally ran by a time clock. In this type of relationship,the puppet master is the only one with freedom to come and go as he or she pleases, without their life being under constant scrunity by you or anyone else. I played this game for some years,and after dancing to the puppet masters music, I got up enough courage to dance to my own music. It's really sad being a puppeteer, because you lose your identity in a relationship you thought was loving and normal; but realize that everything you believe in, was just one big lie.

I know there are still men and women that are being controlled by their mates, and this is not what God wanted for us. God want us to genuinely love and respect one another, and treat each other the way we want to be treated. A marriage and relationship is an equal partnership, with the same advantages for both parties involved. All I do know is, when you're young and foolish, you do a lot of of silly things, like being controlled by someone else, because you don't know any better . They will fight you on every level, even to the point of being physically violent. You have to take a stand; somewhere and stick to your guns. My oldest daughter and child married such a guy, he wanted all control over life, he was a low life man,that uses women for his own gain. She made the biggest mistake of her life by marrying him; now she's paying the price of making a wrong choice.

I think all mothers try to warn their children, if they see danger lurking in the back ground, but most times the children doesn't listen, because they think we're trying to run their lives; which is the farthest thing from the truth, we just want to protect them form harm. We can't protect them; because they're in love or in lust and will end up in a miserable situations, that we can't control. My daughter after ten years and lot of heart break and pain, realizes now for herself, what a mistake she made:This a life style that she no longer wishes to pursue. It took her being free from her puppet master, for her to realize she want more out of life, than just being a puppet on a string. She's her old self again; and she smiles more because her puppet master is no longer there, to tell her what she can or can't do. I even have to tell her sometimes; that he no longer has the control over her life, because he's still in jail: but don't you think, he hasn't tried to tell her what to do, even from his jail cell. Being a puppeteer is a situation; that you wouldn't want to be caught up in, if you're in your right mind. Both men and women deserve love, care, respect and understanding from one another. When looking for a mate be sure you check out the subtle signs of the puppet master. If you bring him into your life; he will want to control you, your life and your coming and goings, who you see or don 't see.

If you encounter anyone at all with these obvious tendencies; let them keep on trucking away from you, because he'll bring more trouble to your life than you will ever need. I have always said; if you can find a man that's truly into God, and know how to treat his mother and sister with love and respect, then he will treat you the same. Also for the men; if you find a godly women who love her father and brother, then it's a safe bet, that she will love and respect you as well. If you find yourself in a puppet master- puppeteer relationship, it's time to cut the strings that bind you to this loser, so you can regain you self respect and start to truly live your life again. Please also remember this; no one can treat you like a prisoner in your own home unles you allow it.

Benny Faye Douglass *(C) copyright 2009