First Date: To Drink or Not To Drink

You want to put your best foot forward, but you also want to be able to relax. You want to impress but not distress.

There are some things that are black and white. If you’re driving you aren’t supposed to be drinking. If you aren’t a drinker, then you certainly shouldn’t drink, or do anything that you’re not comfortable doing for that matter.

But if you are at least a social drinker, is there anything wrong with having a drink on your first date with someone?

DRINKING FOR COURAGE

We all remember Sex and the City Episode #47 “What Comes Around Goes Around” where Miranda is on a first date with a hot detective. He’s so good looking that all the women in the restaurant are turning to stare at him. Nervous that she isn’t good looking enough to be with him, she starts drinking for courage and compensation. Several martinis later, Miranda is bombed, and dragging him into her bed. In the morning she discovers he’s left her literature for Alcoholics Anonymous. (Note he didn't give her that pamphlet before he got some.)

The problem with finding your courage in a few drinks is that you can also find yourself too courageous. Your inhibitions can be lost but so can your ability to walk, speak, and think clearly. And a first impression can't be erased.

ANYTHING IN MODERATION

I think if your date is in a setting where alcohol is available, from a hockey game, to a restaurant, to the opera, indulging in some spirits is acceptable and enjoyable. And it is true it might take the edge of the first date jitters.

But let's be clear that I am not suggesting you show up on your first date with a bottle of tequila, a couple of lemons and camcorder. (Mmmm, 1986. His name was John. But I digress…)

There is a difference between indulging in a good bottle of wine with dinner or a few beers at the game, and doing body shots with Cabo Wabo.

All I’m saying is you might want to think ahead about the impression you want to give. You want to think about your safety, where exactly you’re going, how you’re getting home, and if you ever want to see this person for a second date.

There is a huge difference between enjoying a few cocktails, and getting blasted. Anything in moderation, especially while you're getting to know someone.

Here's some food for thought. It might be very wise to honestly evaluate what you’re like with a few drinks under your belt. Remember that is the first impression with which your date will be left. Do you smile and talk, and loosen up? Do you hurl? Do you become the life of the party, dancing on the bar and playing truth or dare? Have you won wet t-shirt contests you don’t remember entering? Do you cry and talk about how your father never loved you? I can't stress this enough: Once you make a first impression, you can’t take it back.

FINAL THOUGHTS

You might want to decide ahead of time instead of on the fly what you’re going to do. Setting a reasonable limit shows good judgment and moderation. Something reasonable might be 2 – 3 glasses of wine during dinner, then coffee. That way, later on when you’re comfortable and chatty you don’t have to worry about assessing yourself. You can just cut yourself off before anything embarrassing happens. Only you know your limits. Moderation is different for everyone.

Since I always preach honesty and communication, this HUB is going to be no different. I don’t think it should be a problem for you to ask your date ahead of time what the plans are. For example you could be honest and say you’d like to have a few drinks, and if he would like to have a few cocktails also, you’d just like to make sure you’ll be taking a cab and what the arrangements are.

Ask yourself what you’d think if your date had a drink. Then ask yourself what you’d think if your date had a drink too many. Gage yourself accordingly.

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Comments 19 comments

Goodwitch profile image

Goodwitch 8 years ago

LOL! Thanks Veronica, you had me chuckling at your comments, as well as a few memories of my own!


Princessa profile image

Princessa 8 years ago from France

I enjoy reading this, cheers!


Veronica profile image

Veronica 8 years ago from NY Author

Goodwotch and Princessa,

Thanks! I appreciate it.


thooghun profile image

thooghun 8 years ago from Rome, Italy

I had a start when I read 2-3 glasses of wine. That's pretty much the target I've always set myself! The best of both worlds!

Nice Hub as always,

Thoog.


Veronica profile image

Veronica 8 years ago from NY Author

Thanks, Thoog! When I was dating, I varied. Some situations were comfortable and I could indulge a bit. Others I just didn't know I refrained completely.

I was actually wondering about you when I wrote this. So you can have a few glasses of wine every now and then. That's great!


thooghun profile image

thooghun 8 years ago from Rome, Italy

One of the best dates I ever had was when we both got completely trashed (believe it or not). At least I thought so.

Never heard from her again ;P

Oh and wine, "yesh" its a cultural tradition, if I don't have some wine at dinner, I'm considered a spook!


Veronica profile image

Veronica 8 years ago from NY Author

That's cute. I didn't know if after the kidney transplant there were limitations on what you could drink. Sorry you never heard from that "best first date" again. Sometimes, things are best left as a stand-alone event ;)


Earth Angel profile image

Earth Angel 8 years ago

GREAT Hub Veronica!! Too, too funny!! Christmas Eve I was the Angel at Church and two of the wisemen were too drunk to walk straight!! 2-3 drinks would put my 5'3" 120 pound frame under the table!! Or dancing on top!! I make sure I drink twice the water as alcohol and it seems to keep me relaxed but fully present!! Thanks for sharing!! Earth Angel!!


Isabella Snow profile image

Isabella Snow 8 years ago

Good hub! I almost never drink on a date - and I never drink for courage, ever!


Veronica profile image

Veronica 8 years ago from NY Author

thanks Earth Angel! There is a hub in that drunken wisemen story ;)

Isabella, that's a pretty smart adn responsible way to be. Good for you!


Research Analyst profile image

Research Analyst 8 years ago

Thanks, I don't drink but I enjoyed your hub.


Veronica profile image

Veronica 8 years ago from NY Author

Thanks, Research! Then by all means I hope your dates respect that and never try to pressure you.


Iðunn 8 years ago

enjoyable hub although I once had one of my funnest dates ever getting plastered with an overseas friend when he came to visit. :p

you're certainly right in general, though. good read, nicely done Hub


Veronica profile image

Veronica 8 years ago from NY Author

Iðunn I was so excited to see your comments tonight. Thanks! Getting plastered once in a while is certainly something I've enjoyed from time to time ;)


Iðunn 8 years ago

hehe. I love us women when we're human and flawed. we are such an excellent gender. :)

I will stop in more, I promise. I tend to be too serious, often, all pol or mooning about love. I'm a cat person, not a dog type, so we miss each other there, although I love all animals. But now that I've got so much work back up with help of our wonderful Hub Team, I shall have more time to play in your Hubs, especially dating, men and the like.


Kenny Wordsmith profile image

Kenny Wordsmith 8 years ago from Chennai

I love it when women withdraw their claws and show their flaws! You don't have to drink lots; you can drink a glass and pretend that you're all tipsy and behave however you want to, in full control.

Nice hub, Veronica! 


Veronica profile image

Veronica 8 years ago from NY Author

Thanks Kenny ;)

my claws are flawed. I tend to just put my tail between my legs and run for cover.


Stuff You Love profile image

Stuff You Love 7 years ago from Idaho

WARNING....A drink or two is probably okay especially if you have something to eat with it. But BE CAREFUL about going to the restroom and leaving your drink on the table. A devious man could put something in your drink while you are away... to render you "less than aware" after drinking it... giving him the opportunity to do things you would not otherwise even consider. You may not be able to get home safely. I know because it happened to me.


Veronica profile image

Veronica 7 years ago from NY Author

EXCELLENT advice. Thanks Stuff You Love. Sorry you had to speak from experience. This goes for regular drinks too, kids. Something could be slipped into your water, coffee or diet sprite too. I had a friend who, at a party with friends, was slipped some acid in her soda. It was actually "meant" to be fun, not cruel. But it was pretty bad when she walked through a plate glass window.

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