First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage. How To Make Your Man Propose

Ahhh, how romantic...

Ever since marriage was floated as a legal means of joining two people together in a binding romantic relationship, it has been a huge issue. The typical cliché is that women want to get married, nay, are desperate to be married, whereas men must do their best to avoid the trap that ladies set in the form of the bonds of marriage.

This was historically due to the fact that men earned all the money and women couldn't really, unless they wanted to be prostitutes, or slave away in a kitchen somewhere, and those options were only open if you were of the right social class. Nowadays it is indisputably less of an important issue as to whether or not a woman gets a ring on her finger, through the wonder of common law marriages. These delightful laws effectively mean that the old adage “why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free” has been completely screwed. Nowadays if you decide to keep the cow in your back yard and milk it for a period of several years, the cow will be taking half the house anyway.

However regardless of these newfangled legalities and whatnot, it would seem that history has a more powerful effect on the psyche than we may have imagined, and there are many women who have fantasized about their wedding days from the time that they were little girls. They dream of their Prince Charming, of the white dress, of all the romance that goes with the marriage dream. Men, on the other hand, still seem to carry around the idea that they will soon be heading off to the jungles of the Amazon, or to the diamond mines of Africa, or some such place, and therefore really can't afford to be tied down.

So, how do you break his wild dreams and tame him to a milder way of living? Fortunately, due to the upsurge in popularity of “living in sin” (what a great phrase that is huh), most men have already been broken into marriage, they just don't know it yet. All they need is that little push to make them take that next step and buy a hugely expensive piece of jewelry and pledge half their earnings to you for the rest of their living days. Listed below are several tips to achieving that goal. There is no guarantee that they will work, but hey, you'll take anything right, you're clearly out of ideas yourself because you're reading this thing.

The Fake Draft

Take advantage of the fact that the world is currently in the grip of multiple wars and get together with your friends to create a fake draft hoax, making him think that all single men of his age, height, and eye color will be next to the front. The only way out of it is marriage. If you pull this one off successfully, you'll have his ring on your finger before you know it, honey. This is also a great way to get him to agree to have kids.

The Drunk In Vegas

Slip him a mickey and drag his ass to a Vegas chapel. If you do things this way, you don't even have to tell him that you're married. It can be your special secret. He gets to think he is footloose and fancy free, but you know better, and can pick your own moment to break the news to him, like if he tries to leave you. Haha, funny.

The Ultimatum

Everyone loves ultimatums. Tell him that he has to marry you “or else.” Better still, get someone to burst through the door toting a shotgun and force him at gunpoint to marry you. You'll have all the olde worlde charm of a shotgun wedding, and you don't have to worry about the resentment until at least the hour or two after the wedding. It's almost a perfect solution.

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Comments 4 comments

tshirtscene profile image

tshirtscene 9 years ago

The ultimatum will work like a charm lol.


Ellie McHale profile image

Ellie McHale 8 years ago from Menlo Park

Hilarious.


Pepe 8 years ago

Thanks for this tips, they will be helpful in avoiding being trapped (not even dating, yay!).


Stacey 5 years ago

LOL

Too funny. I especially like the drunk in Vegas. 'Your little secret'... right up until he tries to leave.

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