Five Simple, Common Sense Rules To Dating
1. If you meet someone at a bar, do not be surprised when he or she is an alcoholic.
Where you first meet the person you choose to date is an indicator of their personality. Yes, not all people who go to bars are alcoholic’s, this is undeniable; I go to bars just to karaoke, and I do not drink. However, something to keep in mind is that about one person out of 12 is an alcoholic.[1] That means that, in your everyday life, you have a little less than a ten percent chance of meeting an alcoholic. You can guarantee that the rate of alcoholics in bars is a lot higher. I could not find any exact percentages, but I would guess that at least half the people there have a drinking problem. A huge hint? If the person of your interest knows the bartender by name, and the bartender knows his/hers. Another hint is if they know the other regulars well enough to greet them by name. These are both signs that they spend a lot of time there.
2. If he or she cheated on their significant other to be with you, do not be surprised when they cheat on you.
Yes, there are the VERY RARE occasions where someone cheats only once, but this is RARE. Once a cheat, always a cheat; clichés are clichés for a reason. The number one reason for divorce in this country is infidelity,[2] so do not waste your time on someone who cannot remain faithful. On the flip side, if your new boyfriend/girlfriend was willing to date someone who is in a relationship, they probably are not so picky about fidelity, either
3. If he or she will not stop talking on their phone, do not be surprised if you are never a priority in their life.
The first date is the time when you put your best foot forward; if this is their best foot, things will only get worse. The same rule applies to people who are rude to wait staff and make disparaging comments about people behind their backs. Do not lie to yourself and say they are going to get better, or maybe a good man or woman can change them. It is one thing to use clichés, and an entirely other thing to be a cliché.
4. If he or she is willing to sleep with you without protection, do not be surprised if you get an STD.
If they are willing to sleep with you, without protection, they probably slept with someone else without protection. Add it up, this one should be self-explanatory, so we will not go into any more detail here.
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5. If he instantly takes an exception to your family and/or friends, and tries to convince you to cut ties with them, chances are he is going to get abusive.[3]
One of the first things a man who is going to become abusive will do is try to separate you from your support system.[4] It might be weird to realize that that is what friends and family are, your support system, but they are. They are the ones who you can go to, in the middle of the night, because your boyfriend/husband just punched you and they are the ones who will support you when you decide to get out of this relationship. In pursuit of this goal, he will lie and manipulate to convince you that you are too good for them, or they are using you, or they are lying to you.
[1] Dictionary.com. (2011.) Retrieved 10 October 2011 from www.dictionary.com.
[2] Goodman, L. E. (2010). Some Moral Minima. Good Society Journal, 19(1), 87-94. Retrieved from EBSCOhost
[3] While sometimes women are the abusive ones, it is rare enough that for the purpose of this point, we are going to assume the abuser is a man.
[4] RecoveryMan.com. (2012.) Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships. Retrieved 5 March 2012 from http://www.recovery-man.com/abusive/abusive_signs.htm