Guys, How to Successfully Express Your Feelings to Your Girlfriend or Wife

Don't freak, followers. This is the "real" Kenneth Avery sitting here preparing to write another self-help offering that will help all guys who have trouble expressing their love to their steady dates or even their wives.

Nothing, not even the photos, in this hub are even close to being steamy, and that applies to the text as well. So feel free to read this hub aloud to your teenage sons. They are the ones who will soon need help telling their "dream girls" how they truly feel.

Not that I am boasting, but I have to be upfront with you. In my dating days I was so glad that any girl was actually going to get into my car that I prepared myself prior to the date to pick the right time to tell her (from my heart) just how I felt about her.

Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it "crashed and burned." But I persevered.

Then one day in my older, single years, I finally hit upon a series of things that helped me with this problem that plagues a lot of guys in the romantic area, so I thought now was the perfect time to share it with you.

There are two lists below for you guys to read and absorb. You need both to show you what you are doing wring and the other list to show you how to settle into a nice rhythm when you are with that special girl and have no trouble expressing your true feelings toward her.
Okay?

Guys, How to Successfully Express Your Feelings to Your Girlfriend or Wife

Things NOT To Do:

• 1.) Pay a strolling troubadour (with guitar) to stop at your table and sing, "I Love to Love You Baby," (the once-racy song by Madonna) in Spanish.

• 2.) Bring a Hustler magazine along with you on your dinner date and as she is eating, get out the magazine and show her steamy photos of men and women, uh, "posing."

• 3.) Have your best buddy to stop by your table and then with his operatic voice, tell her in the most adult terms, what you feel about your date.

• 4.) Buy a singing telegram for this occasion. She could laugh. Or she could bail. Are you a gambling soul?

• 5.) At mid-meal, ask her, "Sweetie, after dinner, would you like to go back to my place and watch raunchy porno tapes?"

Things TO Do:

• 1.) Talk softly while looking into her eyes. Talk of sensitive things that cause you to cry. Girls love this. It shows her your sensitive side, but do not crowd-out your masculine features. Girls also love this too. Point: while talking to her, never lose eye contact.

• 2.) Read to her a romantic poem. This will take some work on your part, but the rewards will be great. Find just the right poem that will touch her heart. Ask your sister or single aunt what she would love by way of a romantic poem. If you are worried about your sister or single aunt sabotaging you, they won't. Both of them are hoping that this tip will work and you will get married and get a place of your own. You see, my friend. Both these relatives are tired of feeding you and washing your clothing.

• 3.) Give your dream girl one red rose before you eat dinner. This will set the romantic mood. This also causes you both to relax. Then slowly tell her what is in your heart--and yes, while holding her hands and looking deeply into her eyes.

• 4.) Be sure to listen, well, hang on every word she says to you. If it is one thing I have learned over the years it is that all females appreciate a man who knows "how" to listen to them. And when it is your turn to speak your heart, she will pay you back with the same respect.

• 5.) On purpose, now follow me here, when you are reading your original poem to her, make a few verbal errors showing how nervous she makes you when you are with her. That alone will make for you to have a long, happy relationship with your chosen girl.

Which ones of these did I use? My loyalty to the guidelines that HubPages laid down forbid me from disclosing that sensitive information here.

Good night, Butte, Montana.