Naughty In The Bedroom, Tantalizing Thoughts

Positions

You are probably asking yourself by now ,"Who is the person that writes on so many topics, calls herself a Christian and gives advice to newcomers?" She is a lady in public, and has a zest for life and is certainly not afraid to discuss any topic that happens to deal with sex. Birds do it, Bees do it, animals do it, and yes we as humans do it to you. If you are not doing it, we know what you are doing to take the edge off of it with soap, petroleum jelly, or whatever else you can get your grubby little hands on. If you are in a steamy relationship, or have a wonderful marriage it is always nice to spice things up just a little in the boudoir'. The act of making love is not perverted or sinful it is a God given right and can be quite tasteful if they acts are done with passion, there are many artful positions that can be used to have an eventful, fun, passionate lovemaking session without any thoughts of embarassment being a part of the lovemaking, or anyone thinking about going astray. You have to step and pep to keep the fires burning or the kindle could burnout and so begins the different ways and positions of lovemaking in the bedroom.

1. In 19"69" and you know where I am going with this "woodstock" was in and yes I said ,"woodstock" and giving and receiving free love was the spirit of the early 60's and 70's. 19"69" brought our world to new heights and until this day ,provides an unsurmountable amount of pleasure.

2. Remember, the "I wanna be a cowgirl" song ? many of us have always loved to ride ponies.

3. Cooking 101 you must always preheat the oven before putting in the "meatloaf", as for some reason if you do not it does not seem to cook at its "fullest".

4. Like "two spoons" in a cutlery board spoons just seem to fit side by side .

5. "Arches and Bridges" are beautiful aren' t they ? just remember to hold on or gather your grounding as nobody wants to fall.

6." Mirrors of pleasure" , it is something you can see over and overand over again.

7. Attention-Hut!! Wow the military knew what they were talking about on this one, as it is amazing how one can "stand to attention", while the other "kneels to pray".

8. Deck Chairs are nice but are much better if you "unfold" them and may the "G-Force" be with you.

9. "Snoop Dog" was a good rapper and seemed to be "standing often", although he appeared on occasion to be a little "twisted" I enjoyed his music.

10. "Drive-Thru 's" are so popular just don't forget to order from the menu before you chow down.

Once you have mastered "Woodstock" and realizing being a "cowgirl" could be fun, learn how to preheat the oven to cook a meatloaf, and use at least two spoons, don't forget to add the "mirrors" to the "arches and bridges" and appreciate "snoop dog" and "drive-thru's" you are definitely moving in the right direction. So put on that lingerie, stilettos , and grab Mr. Bunny, Happy Spinner , fruits, jams or jellies or chocolate and whipped cream and have a little fun!

copyright© 2009

More by this Author


Comments 217 comments

Elena. profile image

Elena. 7 years ago from Madrid

Fun, AEvans! I think you're right about the cowgirl thing having passed through more than one pretty little head! Laugh!


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Hi Elena,Thanks and I glad that you enjoyed it!!!:)


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 7 years ago from South Africa

yeah, yeah, yeah!!!

Thanks for these ideas and especially for the fun way you have presented them!

Love and peace

Tony


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

tonymac04: They say there is a fine line at HP so I am careful not to cross that fine line. :)


Anna Marie Bowman profile image

Anna Marie Bowman 7 years ago from Florida

I love the way you were able to toe that fine line, and still write a fun, and informative article. Great job!!!


Cris A profile image

Cris A 7 years ago from Manila, Philippines

LOL this is very clever Julianna. But where is the chopper? :D


Iphigenia 7 years ago

Even educated bees do it ! Fun and ermmmmm ... evocative !


agvulpes profile image

agvulpes 7 years ago from Australia

AEvans , after all that work in the kitchen not even one tiny mention of a Fireworks display to end the night .


TheSandman 7 years ago

Now that was a great piece to wake up to.


TheSandman 7 years ago

PS...The pun was intended and it is a great piece to wake up to. :-)


BDazzler profile image

BDazzler 7 years ago from Gulf Coast, USA

Solomon had a lot to sing about ... evidently you do, too. :)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Anna Marie: Thanks and I am glad that you enjoyed it!!!:)

Cris A: The chopper is part of Karma Sutra and that has been left for a different article.:)Lol

Iphigenia: They certainly do , don't they??

agvulpes: I believe I can place that in there summer where...:)

The Sandman: It was and I am glad that you sincerely apprecaiated it..:)

BDazzler: I can always count on you and certainly Solomon had a lot to sing about and evidently I do , don't I??Lol:)


coffeesnob 7 years ago

I guess i'm just a bit disappointed. this one looks more like the world to me.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

coffesnob: It is godly as that is what God created sex to be, beautiful not ugly and uninhibited, it is between a couple who need to spice up their love lives, everyone should have a little fun as it is simply not just about pro-creating, not intended to offend.:)


BDazzler profile image

BDazzler 7 years ago from Gulf Coast, USA

Genesis 1: 27 So God created human beings in his own image.      In the image of God he created them;      male and female he created them.

 28 Then God blessed them ...

Blessed = "To Make Happy"

Genesis 2:25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.


coffeesnob 7 years ago

I agree. And even more so that it is between a couple. But what about the one whom it causes to stumble. The Hubby who is struggling with porn and his wife comes in to find him reading this hub-she probably wouldn't understand. Also don't fool yourself to think that there are not some who would read this and not imagine that beautiful face of yours with them using your suggestions. The Bible I read says that is causing them to sin. having fun is all good-but what purpose does it do to share your intimate fun with so many people-whom you really don't even know. People are made up of so much more than they share with each other -even face to face. It is too easy to capture the ways of the culture and incorporate it into our belief in God rather that let our belief in God determine our day by day choices, don't mean to preach - I just thought you were made of more than this


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

BDazzler: Thanks for the positive thoughts.

CoffeeSnob: You have shed light on this, as I never thought about someone looking at my face and in some instances I believe I am quite naive'. I am made up of more then this, so thank you for bringing it into perspective as your thoughts are worth a thousand words. Thanks also for making me think about the wives out there, as I to am a wife and thought it would simply be mere fun, as Dr.Ruth would discuss it and I did not mean any harm by it.:(


coffeesnob 7 years ago

AE

You are indeed a special person. Thanks for your response. I believe you are a person of excellence, fun-loving and very brave. You have a very positive effect on people and well, I think the Lord must love you very much. Stay positve and keep close to Him.


Princessa profile image

Princessa 7 years ago from France

This was a fun hub to read and I am sure that it will be even more fun to put it into practice ;-)

Have a great musical weekend!


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

coffeesnob: I value your opinion and I do believe God loves me very much , I will continue to stick close to him and have edited this hub, do let me know what you think as I believe it is much more appropriate. :)

Princessa, Thanks bunches and as well you too!!:)


daveearley profile image

daveearley 7 years ago from Chicago, IL

How come I'm the only one who can't figure out how to use these tips? LOL


Netters profile image

Netters 7 years ago from Land of Enchantment - NM

The title certainly caught my attention! What a great writer you are. Really enjoyable read. Thank you.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

dave: You are hilarious!!!! Lol:)

netters: Yo are so welcome as always I try to have fun with what I write ..:)


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

Haha, Great job. My class was 1969, I also like to eat at the Y.


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

What is going on around here, sex, sex, sex? When do we have time to sleep? You just reminded me its Friday night. Where's my vitamins? she'll probably ask me about some "liquor" so I better get some whip cream when I get my beer. I do the liquor in the front, in the back its kind of dusty and smells funny.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

C,C,: Thanks for sharing many people do!!Lol:)

Goldentoad: hehehehe Lol!!! Maybe whip cream, strawberries and chocolate to go with that "liquor", would be yummy..Lol:)


516Ads profile image

516Ads 7 years ago from Long Island

See we have another hot, sexy hubber here :)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

516Ads: Is that a good thing ???Lol:) I hope you enjoyed it?:)


Zooloot.com profile image

Zooloot.com 7 years ago from Europe

God loves intimacy, loving completely and feeling love completely a feeling that can only be described as the ultimate orgasm of truly experiencing ALL that life has to offer.

We have indeed all become a little stiff (pardon the pun) about a word that is mentioned only once in the NKJ. PASSION!

It is a word lost in today’s busy world as we turn a blind eye to others silent cries for a little love.

We’ve turned intimacy into a distasteful, distorted act of SELF gratification, that should indeed be hidden behind closed doors.

Woodstock spoke to many people about what God wanted and wants us all to understand. FREE love! A pouring of ones total self into someone else’s life.

For in today’s confused self centered world 'TRUE unconditional love' may be a gift you may never get to experience; but with the life and warmth you have been given (by love); YOU have the opportunity to let someone else know what it can and should truly feel like. Which may indeed be the only true love they ever get to experience.

Go pour your love on someone FULLY and EXPERIENCE the rewards in return.

Thank you for the Hub :)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Thank you for the warm and wonderful comment as I appreciate the deep thoughts and consideration you have place in it. :) You are so welcome!!!:)


Nayberry profile image

Nayberry 7 years ago from nayphat@yahoo.com

Wow! Now that is a hub to remember!

Tootles!!


Schwag profile image

Schwag 7 years ago from Clarksville, TN

Coffeesnob - I wish people could just learn to have fun. Since when did Jesus act like such a stuffy, conservative Republican? Bullcrap. COFFEESNOB is a self-righteous prick and a PHARISEE. I think Jesus would tell you to lighten up. He was chillin' with whores and tax-collectors back in the day, not up on his high horse condemning people. If you're so righteous, then don't talk about the bible, because Jesus didn't come for the righteous, he came for ME, the sinner.

AEvans - I loved this hub. Very funny, and it actually made me think about how to spice up my love life with my wife, not fantasize about your face, or some porn. No offense, but this hub is much more amusing than steamy. Maybe coffeesnob is projecting his own naughty thoughts onto others. Hmmmm...


Zooloot.com profile image

Zooloot.com 7 years ago from Europe

Schwag HE came for us all. The self righteous, Pharisee's, Coffeesnob's, prick's and the sinners who know; go; and TRY to sin no more. Pain is the enemy we all have to protect ourselves against. The pain in those who are hurting because of the pain of those who are hurting. HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE.Love is sometimes hard to show to those who's pain often buries the love that is crushed somewhere beep inside them. They need to know what love is too.

I too am part Pharisee's, Coffeesnob's, Prick and Sinners but I sometimes need to feel your love ;)


Abhishek87 profile image

Abhishek87 7 years ago from India

Well, I can figure out the tips but thats all I can do right now :D


C. C. Riter 7 years ago

This not the place to preach. Why would a "Christian" come into this hub with the title it has? This is not church and this behavior is like unto an uninvited guest, throw the bum out. It's insulting.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Nayberry: I appreciate you stopping by and I am glad that you had fun reading it~~

Schwag: No offense taken at all, as we have to walk a fine line on these things, however we all need to lighten up and everyone needs a laugh at it makes one feel good.


516Ads profile image

516Ads 7 years ago from Long Island

It's a very good thing, the hotter the better:) & yes I enjoyed it:)


Onusonus profile image

Onusonus 7 years ago from washington

You should consider taking the "God" and "Christian" tags off this sight, it is repleat with carnal thoughts and images.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Zooloot: Thank you again for the comment and support!!:)

Abhishek: You are so silly!!!:)

C.C. Riter: Thank you again for stopping by and being supportive.

516Ads: I am glad that you enjoyed it, now question has been answered.:)


raiderfan profile image

raiderfan 7 years ago from Arizona

man Im horny now! Hell yeah!


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Onusonus: Sex is not worldly and it certainly isn't a sin when you are doing it with the one you love. It is not carnal and the image is beautiful. It is a shame that so many choose to keep it in the closet. If you read it where did your mind go? So who is creating the cardinal sin? Christians do it, Buddhists do it, Atheists do it, and God told us to enjoy it, so there is nothing wrong with it.:)


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

those that don't get "it" are against anyone who does.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

raiderfan: I am glad you enjoyed it!!! Thumbs up :0

goldentoad: I see that as i scroll through the comments good grief it isn't like it is something new.:)


BDazzler profile image

BDazzler 7 years ago from Gulf Coast, USA

@Onusonus - Song of Solomon:4:4-6: 4 Your neck is like the tower of David, Built for an armory, On which hang a thousand bucklers, All shields of mighty men. 5 Your two breasts are like two fawns, Twins of a gazelle, Which feed among the lilies. 6 Until the day breaks And the shadows flee away, I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh And to the hill of frankincense.

Song of Solomon 7:7-8: 7 This stature of yours is like a palm tree, And your breasts like its clusters. 8 I said, "I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of its branches." Let now your breasts be like clusters of the vine, The fragrance of your breath like apples,

This type of biblical sexual metaphor is what AEvans published in her hub ...

I mean no disrespect, but there are those who advocate removing Song of Solomon from the cannon of scripture ... are you one of them?


koutuk 7 years ago

it so sexy and good


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

BDazzler: Thank you for clearly explaining I knew you would come to my rescue, thnak goodness you are my brother.:)


TheLoanConsultant profile image

TheLoanConsultant 7 years ago from Orange County

Lol! Really enjoyed this one. The birds and the bees, classic! :)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

TheLoanConsultant: There is a song about that too!!!I am glad that you enjoyed it.:)


Misha profile image

Misha 7 years ago from DC Area

LOL You are one cool girl Julianna :)


Pest profile image

Pest 7 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

where wa i for this??? AE!!!!???!!!


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Misha: Thanks I am glad you enjoyed it!!!

Pest: You were busy , busy Lol:) and I was busy.


Single Mama profile image

Single Mama 7 years ago

ha ha i so had to share this hub with my fb friends...it was good!


Pest profile image

Pest 7 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

AE too busy for me???? ** cries quietly to self ** :)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

SingleMama: You are so welcome and I am glad you enjoyed it!!! You are always welcome to share. :)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Never to busy for you pest!!! I am happy that you were impressed by it.Lol:)


Pest profile image

Pest 7 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

Always impressed!  when you want that autograph???  :D


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

I am hoping for that autograph very soon and not a paw print,,Lol:)


Pest profile image

Pest 7 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

I have one for you now! No paw prints either...


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

I am waiting,,, when are you going to send it..Lol:)


Pest profile image

Pest 7 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

When you get me an address....bwhahahaha! iwill e mail you a copy...I am going to bed now tho.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

I am going to sleep too, so I will email you in the morning.:)


Pest profile image

Pest 7 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

ok nite..i am out!


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

good nite..:)


jerryjackson 7 years ago

i love your concept on this particular hub. A bit confusing though but i just have to take my mind back to the details and smile at your use of words to explain what most people are scared of talking about. Longest time.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

mmmm.....jerry where is your Avatar?? Someone else loved it so much that they used it in an article, just thought you would like to know. Remember to take your mind back.:)


JamaGenee profile image

JamaGenee 7 years ago from Central Oklahoma

A delightful hub, AE. According to two of my daughters, the bible contains more passages about hot sex than any issue of Hustler. Had 'em all bookmarked, to keep from nodding off during boring sermons. Sounds like BDazzler has 'em bookmarked too!


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

JamaGenee: Your daughters are correct and BDazzler knew exactly where they were!! :)


Don Simkovich profile image

Don Simkovich 7 years ago from Pasadena, CA

While I've never tabulated it, I believe there are many more Christians on the Internet writing about sex. It's freeing in many ways - and, yet - challenging, too. Sex can be beautiful, but it can also be a frustrating topic. It requires you to be in good communication and vulnerable with your partner.


BDazzler profile image

BDazzler 7 years ago from Gulf Coast, USA

There really was a very long debate on whether or not to include SoS in the cannon of scripture, not only because of the subject matter, but because it is one of two books that never mention God.

The other book they wanted to leave out, I may write a hub on ... I taught a series on it that I called "A Godless Book of Sex, Murder and Political Intrigue" ...

In fact, it is the inclusion of these two books that make me think the cannon was truly inspired by the Holy Spirit ... because there were more reasons to leave them out that put them in ... and yet, there they are! :)

So many subjects, so little time!


Onusonus 7 years ago

I don't think that Jesus would approve of that woman's naked tuccas on the screen.


goldentoad profile image

goldentoad 7 years ago from Free and running....

I speak for Jesus, he likes it too.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Onusonus: I appreciate your thoughts and comments , does your employer know that you are cruising the web? Or maybe you simply have Qwest as your provider.:) Anyways thanks for your thoughts.

GT: You are write and if Onusonus would read the above information and read the Bible itself, he or she may be surprised at what they find. I have always enjoyed the outside parties, as they never wish to write and somany love to make a comment.:)


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

Yiiiiiii Ahhhhhhhh ride em cowboy!!!!! Crack that whip Tonto.Don't forget the boots Loneranger.

As they say in China about 1969 'chew man choo".Oh AEvans I had to laugh at a few of these comments here. (Cough you know the err ones I mean. I had to make a big dash then return)

Oh yes as a seasoned chef I could not agree more than heating up the oven before adding the meatloaf, not to mention 'adding a few little spices to the meat never went astray.'

Yes I always line up the spoons if you don't line them up they won't fit properly will they? hahaha.

Also I am into the same music as you. Singing Snoop Dog in the shower keeps the err vocal chords aligned.Woooooot.

Yeaaa AEvAns let's get out the deck-chairs


linjingjing profile image

linjingjing 7 years ago

Interesting article


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 7 years ago from St. Louis

He AEvans! Some of these I had never heard the term (much to my surprise) so I looked them up. I found a site where animated people show you the position - perhaps you know it - quite cute. Of course, not hearing the terms before has nothing to do with knowing the corresponding position, and having done most of them. Some of them are quite silly (and look like they would hurt.) though these are not necessarily the ones you have mentioned here. But really, I don't see the point of some of them. Plus, change the position of one persons legs and give it a new name when it's really just the same original position.

But that is neither here nor there. Fun hub, and it got me to go think about it and even look stuff up, so I guess thats the point of my little story....and I thank you for that.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

This was an all in fun article as there are so many odd positions as Kama Sutra pulls them out of their hat, I thought it would be fun to put it into living color. I believe that some of us could get bruised and battered trying them out. I am glad that you looked things up as it is all about knowledge that makes life so much fun. As you know many of us know them so it was fun creating the article and placing my thoughts into these interesting positions. You are so welcome :)


Randy Behavior profile image

Randy Behavior 7 years ago from Near the Ocean

I, like Chris, had to do a little research. I didn't know what all the names were and further reading led to some...insights. Thanks for the education and expanding my repretoire. It will serve me well in the future. *wink*


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Randy Behavior: You are so welcome and research is always good as it adds a little spice to the bedroom. *wink* :)


druneric profile image

druneric 7 years ago from Ohio

Yes, I'm afraid I'm quite repressed, as my daughter keeps reminding me. But then when I try to tell her how unrepressed I was with her father she doesn't want to hear about it.

I think Song of Solomon is one of the most erotic, sad, sweet chapters in the bilble.

How'd you get that picture past the censors?


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

druneric: It is funny how children say the funniest things, and of course they never ever want to hear about you and dad. My parents tried that on me and I just could not picture it!!!:) I love the Song of Solomon as well and in regards to the pic , I believe it was tasteful and not really showing any body parts. :)


druneric profile image

druneric 7 years ago from Ohio

Came DAMN close though! Damn close. Actually, I was a fine arts major and it's the kind of life drawing I'd like to have done. They never gave us couples in life drawing. I would have DIED. But I might try to reproduce your photo.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

druneric: You should have it done as it is art and a form of expression, you are welcome to try and repproduce the photo.:)


hubber-2009 profile image

hubber-2009 7 years ago from India

What happened in 1969? you have not told anything?


tono 7 years ago

what do u think hubber ?


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

hubber2009: Bless your heart, you have to read between the lines, the lines are your friend. :)


Constant Walker profile image

Constant Walker 7 years ago from Springfield, Oregon

Well, appropriately enough, some pervert posted an image of your naked butt for God and all the world to see!!! ... Can you believe it?!?!

http://hubpages.com/hub/Naked-Hubbers-The-Bare-Fac...


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

I can believe it and I saw it!!!!! who the heck snuck into my kitchen????? Lol:)


Joseph Thomas profile image

Joseph Thomas 7 years ago

AEvans,

Obviously a great hub article as evidenced by the response. Happy to be a fan. Have a great day.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Joesph: Thanks for stopping by and thanks for enjoying it. :)


Gin Delloway profile image

Gin Delloway 7 years ago

a great hub!! I've pleasure reading it!! thank you!


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Gin: You are welcome and I am glad that you enjoyed it!!!:)


BardScribe profile image

BardScribe 7 years ago from Iowa

AEvans--brilliantly worded article. Even if you were of a different faith path, you would still have had to "toe the line" that HubPages' Powers-That-Be have set--with good reason, of course.

As for Song of Solomon, it is one of my favorite books in the Bible because for once we get a vivid picture of a man adoring and making love to a woman, like the representative of the Divine Feminine that she is, rather than raping and abusing her.

Would that the rest of the world's men were like that!


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

BardScribe: Oh Thank you !!!I am glad that you approve , I love the Song of Solomon too and you do have to behave , so I did ....Your response is truly appreciatd.


Forever Rogue 7 years ago

LOL!! Definitely not what I was expecting. LOVED the play on words! VERY clever and very well done missy. (lol "with" hubber-2009; bless her heart!)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Forever: It wasn't what many were expecting either and I did have fun writing about it.:)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

pkoson: Your comments do not make any sense , and I am denying you any comments on my hubs. Your hubs do not make any sense at all and you are quite derogatory. :)


jjrubio 7 years ago

OMG I loved it... you made it so tasteful!! Well It took a few seconds to get your "Symbolic" meanings.. You are too funny...

You forgot the Froggy style... lol


danieltetreault profile image

danieltetreault 7 years ago from Nanaimo, British Columbia Canada

Very tasteful Hub on sex I must admit. It can be difficult to broach such a subject that is steeped in so much controvery.

Sincerely,

Daniel Tetreault

PS I love the comment jjrubio on froggy style. ... lol


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Daniel: I couldn't agree with you more as there is a grey line that one has to walk , but it certainly is fun writing about it. :)


R. Blue profile image

R. Blue 7 years ago from Right here

AE....I don't know how I missed this wonderful bit of Tongue-in-cheek....I almost think you been reading my mind......and I see great minds think alike.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

R.Blue, You dug deep to find it or Daniel pulled it out...lololo I am glad you enjoyed it. :)


jjrubio 7 years ago

What is this naughty hub hopping? And how is it going on without me joining in!!!!


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

You should have read Part II of Never Ending Love Story , now that is steamy..lololo :) Passion Ignites. :)


R. Blue profile image

R. Blue 7 years ago from Right here

I know what you're good at here on the hub AE....just like me.....mischief

That's your niche....now keep on writing sexy things...I'm glad you embrace sexuality...it's an enticing subject.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

R. Blue, Did you read "Never Ending Love Story I AND II that I recently published, I believe you will also enjoy that. Thanks for the positive feedback. :)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

badcompany99: Thank you for your kind comment and the cowgirl ....Well I am glad that you enjoy that position...:)


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine

Ride em cowboy! Hee Haa


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

badcompany and Cindy: I see you enjoyed this one.:D


R. Blue profile image

R. Blue 7 years ago from Right here

Thought I might find those two in here AE......going to have to banish them to the bedroom or something.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

R.Blue: You certainly did find them in here naughty, naughty.lololo :D


Peter Dickinson profile image

Peter Dickinson 7 years ago from South East Asia

Thank you for the hub. Very clever use of words.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Peter: The words were cleever weren't they? You are so welcome and I enjoyed writing it. :)


gpetrou85 profile image

gpetrou85 7 years ago from greece

very nice good hub.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

gpetrou85: What was good about it? Can you ad lib?:)


The Phil profile image

The Phil 7 years ago from New York

Interesting


my-success-guru profile image

my-success-guru 7 years ago from Upstate NY

Hey AE,

HMMMMMM what should I say this time? Well to start that was a lot of comments you have here. Congratulations on that. I wasn't sure I was going to reach the bottom when scrolling down. OK yes another creative entertaining Hub here. At this point I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

Bye


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

mysuccess: Thank you but you finally did reach the bottom didn't you? lololo :)


Hammerj profile image

Hammerj 7 years ago from Cebu City

this is very interesting topic..nice hub..


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Hammerj: Thanks bunches.:)


metaphysician profile image

metaphysician 7 years ago

Thanks for your article. You wrote it the fun way.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

metaphysician: You are quite welcome. :)


Indigenous profile image

Indigenous 7 years ago from Earth

whoa (:O) and "yeah, yeah, yeah!!!" as Tony wrote :)

Julianna,- such a beautifull name =)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Indigenous: I am glad you enjoyed I have almost completed my book , it is even more spicy. :)


Indigenous profile image

Indigenous 7 years ago from Earth

ne,...sorry,- went paperless long time ago ;|

:O)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Indegenious: It is paperless it is an e-book. lolololo :)


Indigenous profile image

Indigenous 7 years ago from Earth

ok, ok lolo ;x


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Indigenous: I knew you would get it. lolololo :D


Kelly Contrary profile image

Kelly Contrary 7 years ago from Kansas--if evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve

You talk about cooking, cutlery and songs--when are you going to get to the nasty stuff? I need help over here. Well, I guess being fan #777 is better than 666.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Kelly: It is a part of my book that I am completing I will let you know as soon as it is published. :) I love that you are fan #777 you should go play the slot machine, you just may win.:)


Don Simkovich profile image

Don Simkovich 7 years ago from Pasadena, CA

Glad to hear about the book being almost completed. I thought about taking an article I wrote on Assoc Content on a similar subject and turning it in to a how to book. I'm mid-way through my novel and have been focusing on that.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Don: I am looking forward to your book and you must keep me posted.:)


Don Simkovich profile image

Don Simkovich 7 years ago from Pasadena, CA

Thanks . . . I got myself spread thin . . . my short stories - which you may have read . . . and then the novel . . . I also think a topic on which I should write a Hub is about spouses talking with each other about their fantasies . . . I think being unable to communicate is at the heart of the high profile affairs that frequent the news.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Don: You and I are in the same boat lollolo , that would be an interesting topic do it and yes I have been reading and will definitely go back and leave comment, I am being naughty and read but haven't commented a lot lately.:(


JPSO138 profile image

JPSO138 7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines, International

Really educational and entertaining..... up for this one.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

JPS0138: You are funny and I am glad that you were educated. :)


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 7 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine

ah, I remember this hub, so very tastefully written, by a lady for sure!


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

cindy: It is funny and it is coming back, lololo :)


\Brenda Scully 7 years ago

what a lovely picture at the top, aw to be in love.....


SkirvvyDawg profile image

SkirvvyDawg 7 years ago from Southern Europe

yes the pursuit, lines and intricacy of one's spirituality and one's sexuality...we all ponder and grapple with this dance. It is our origin and it is our destiny; the point where we decide to which, makes all the difference in the world (this one and the next).


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Brenda: It certainly is love .:)

SkirvyDawg: I completely agree with your comment.:)


one2recognize2 profile image

one2recognize2 7 years ago from New York

Very nicely written hub. Glad I stopped by and also honored to become a fan... Stay well.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

one2recognize2: Thank you! :)


4ever Mo profile image

4ever Mo 7 years ago

Great piece :-)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

4everMo: I am glad that you enjoyed.:)


phoenixinfinite profile image

phoenixinfinite 7 years ago from bournemouth, uk

i must say, you definitely sound very experienced....


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

phoenixinfinite: I must say when you are over 30 and married experience does set in, thanks for the comment. :)


katedmk 7 years ago

nice hub.


Kimberly Bunch profile image

Kimberly Bunch 7 years ago from EAST WENATCHEE

Great article, here's my sex article:

http://hubpages.com/hub/nosextonightdear


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

katedmk: Thanks!!

Kimberly Bunch: I will be happy to check it out and thank you for the compliment. :)


mayhmong profile image

mayhmong 7 years ago from North Carolina

LOL, how did I miss this?!

I guess anything can be turned to sex?


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

may: I miss hubs too and I walk in your shoes lololo yes anything can. :D


mrozlat profile image

mrozlat 7 years ago from Australia

thanks for sharing ... a lot of fun to be had!!

http://magicpowercoffeeclub.com/


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

mrozlat: You are so welcome!!! :)


THE LOVE GURU 7 years ago


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

The Love Guru: I believe you were stunned, lololo thanks for coming by. :)


mroricle1973 profile image

mroricle1973 7 years ago from Virginia Beach

Love this...


AEvans profile image

AEvans 7 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

mroricle1973: Thanks :)


drcrischasse profile image

drcrischasse 6 years ago from NH/Foxboro

Woman after my own heart


Harvey Stelman profile image

Harvey Stelman 6 years ago from Illinois

J,

Yes this did surprise me. Correction: Free love did not start in the early 1960's, it was about 1967 or 8. Woodstock, I was there. If you need any help on this topic, please write me. Having dated Playboy Bunnies, Models, and well over 200 girl's (am I bragging) I'm sure I can help.

Hope I didn't lay it on to thick, but it's true. I'm too innocent to even read what Iwrote.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

drchrischasse: How did you manage to resurrect this one? Thank you for the comment.

Harvey: It is a very old article as you can see I am bold enough to write about anything if the moment hits me, well almost anything. I certainly will e-mail you or better yet you should write about it. :) To innocent? lololo


one2get2no profile image

one2get2no 6 years ago from Olney

This is a most entertaining hub. I laughed a lot. It is so well written. Thank you.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

one2get2no: I am so glad that you enjoyed and I appreciate the kudos. I am happy to have made you smile. :)


drej2522 profile image

drej2522 6 years ago from Augusta, GA

I'm not sure how I should feel after reading this. Don't get me wrong, you have some intriguing information here, but..ummm...is it wrong that I am a little turned on by this?


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

drej2522: It is a simple a hub that came to mind months ago but it still quite popular amongst the masses. :)


wondergrl profile image

wondergrl 6 years ago from Colorado

nice hub.....fun!


privateye2500 profile image

privateye2500 6 years ago from Canada, USA, London

rotflmao!! Gotta love this one.

" 19"69" brought our world to new heights and until this day ,provides an unsurmountable amount of pleasure. "

Along with many improvements, like latex for the prevention of oh....Hep C...AIDS...LOL!

But then again - peace and free love on acid -

Well....was it worth it girl? ;} wink wink


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

wondergrl: Thank you! :)

privateye2500: I am so glad you enjoyed I have to admit this one does make me smile. lolo:)


gwendymom profile image

gwendymom 6 years ago from Oklahoma

Just read this, sad I missed it when it first came out, but so glad I got to read it now. I love the terminology you used, very cute. Anyone who has been married awhile and some who haven;t can always use some good advice on how to spice things up a bit. Thanks for sharing.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

gwendymom: I could not agree with you more and thank you for enjoying it. :)


Merriweather profile image

Merriweather 6 years ago

Very clever! I love the Snoop Dog reference.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Merriweather: I thought it had to be clever Snoop Dog reference was fun to write. lololo :)


Eastern Rainbow profile image

Eastern Rainbow 6 years ago

It's my privilege to be your fan


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Eastern Rainbow: Thank you for becoming a fan and I am glad that you enjoyed the hub.:)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Eastern Rainbow: Thank you for becoming a fan and I am glad that you enjoyed the hub.:)


20gsxr05 profile image

20gsxr05 6 years ago from Atlanta Ga

ALL I CAN SAY IS AWESOME


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

20gsxr05: Thanks! This is an oldie but goodie and I am glad you appreciated it. :)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

20gsxr05: Thanks! This is an oldie but goodie and I am glad you appreciated it. :)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

20gsxr05: Thanks! This is an oldie but goodie and I am glad you appreciated it. :)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

20gsxr05: Thanks! This is an oldie but goodie and I am glad you appreciated it. :)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

20gsxr05: Thanks! This is an oldie but goodie and I am glad you appreciated it. :)


Tipu786 profile image

Tipu786 6 years ago

good


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Tipu786: Thank you! :)


Poppa Blues 6 years ago

Ha! Love the metaphors almost as much as I love sex! Nice work!


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Poppa Blues: This is an old one but I am glad you enjoyed the metaphors! Thanks for the compliment.:)


drcrischasse profile image

drcrischasse 6 years ago from NH/Foxboro

You are correct, with a single partner or your spouse it is a wonderful experience.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

drcrischasse: I am certainly glad that you agreed , this is such an old hub but it seems to rekindle itself. :)


Consultanttech profile image

Consultanttech 6 years ago

I guess I've made it just in time for the party where have you been hiding redriding hood? I kindof missed those mirrors.


Consultanttech profile image

Consultanttech 6 years ago

No its really me, I don't have the slightest who dat would be?


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Consultanttech: mmmmmm.... you are silly!!!! lololo


Truth From Truth profile image

Truth From Truth 6 years ago from Michigan

very good hub, really gets some ones attention.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Truth From Truth: Thank you! :)


Deborah Demander profile image

Deborah Demander 6 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

Great hub. I will enjoy learning more about the way you think and write. I can see that you are a powerful woman.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Deborah Demander: I write about anything that comes to mind, when I reflect what I have written it shocks me sometimes. :)


MFB III profile image

MFB III 6 years ago from United States

I may get tagged for this but it fits your topic so well...

so why not.....

You can always delete it if it comes across to strong...lol

but it is quite metaphoric like your hub....

Allow me

to let my tongue

dance intricate,

practiced,

age-old patterns,

s l o w l y

and then

infrenziedliquidheat,

across your most

erogenous zones.

Your sighs

our song of love,

your cries

my only cadence,

as I slide, and spin

in a body ballet,

between the ivory columns

center stage,

on your opening night.

\ \ \ \ / / / \ \ \ \ \ / / /

/ / / / \ \ \ / / / / / \ \ \

Remove me

with the

hint of a smile

and a devilish

wink of your eye,

in pirate style

as I rise above

your patch.

Steal my breath

for awhile,

play with me now,

till we insert the key

into the lock.

Rigid, and shiny

it glides,

deeply expanding

that secret vault

that holds the treasures,

the pleasures of you,

plundering, and sharing

the joys of my

hoisting you

to ecstacy.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

///////////////////////////

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

///////////////////////////

Melt me

like carnuba wax,

in the hot, tropical sun.

Ride with me on

endless rolling tides,

blended as one.

Two shells colliding

till we reach the crest,

and flow with it

to the shores

of loves encore.

Bask in the

salty splash

then just lay close,

wrapped around me

snug like seaweed.

making small talk,

on the pillows

amidst bedding,

that billows like waves.

Please,

allow me

then

remove me,

then

melt me,

then

remove me,

then stay!

Seasons pass

and we are seasoned,

sometimes with bitterness,

often with sweet flesh

blending into a

delectable heat,

or growing cold

with the leftover memories

that harden and congeal our souls.

Patience is the

main ingredient in life,

there is passion boiling

in a kettle somewhere,

waiting to be stirred

and then supped.

Find a place to

spoon with another,

make people soup

and share the warmth,

starvation may be

just around the bend.

That's enough...lol~~~MFB III


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

MFB III: My goodness well that was certainly poetic and a work of art. I enjoyed it and no you won't get tagged for it, I can't believe you even found this hub, it is old. lolol :D


outdoorsguy profile image

outdoorsguy 6 years ago from Tenn

maybe old but its good..

I note that theres no mention of big tops. circus clowns and trapeze bars.

okay so I know floppy shoes can get under foot. but still.

LOL


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

outdoorsguy: lolololo ! no big tops in this hub and yes floppy shoes can get under foot! lololo I am glad that you enjoyed and was brave enough to comment. :)


pixi676 profile image

pixi676 6 years ago

very enlightening though i have to say i knew just about all of them and probably used them already. sorry was that too much info for yall? here's a fun fact that goes along with this hub. using sexy little dances, stripping, and new positions can make your partner more wild than ever. that's how i ended up pregnant so be careful. for me it was a very good thing but may not be for others so enjoy but be careful!


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

pixie676: Lolololo ! If only people would realize that intimacy is not a naughty thing and has been done for centuries. Great idea and thank you for commenting. :)


Shatigra profile image

Shatigra 6 years ago

I am very pleased with this hub. I am seriously going to take a few ideas from this reading for myself. I like the refrences it's cute.


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Shatigra: Thank you and I wish you all of the best. :)


dawnM profile image

dawnM 6 years ago from Camarillo, CA

well one of my favorite subjects to touch......lol so to speak. Being a marriage counselor I get to hear alot of interesting stories and the best always involve sex.

great and informative article


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

dawnM: It is a natural part of life and should never be rules as naughty. The stories are funny, if only others would get more comfortable with the discussion. Thanks for the kudos. :)


wingedcentaur profile image

wingedcentaur 6 years ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

I suppose this is your most popular hub ever, unless I gravely mistaken. I wonder why. :-) What impressed me about this hub is that, despite your obviously strong Christian faith (you make a nod to this when you say that the physical expression of physical desire as a "God-given right"), is that you were able to separate yourself from it enough, to consider the matter phenomenologically -- that is what people do and even how they do it, and how they should do it, whether they are believers or not.

Many people, fundamentalists I suppose, allow their faith to hamstring them. They have a hard time being in the world, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I'm still blushing. Well done!

Ta-Ta!


AEvans profile image

AEvans 6 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

wingedcentaur: Thank you and I do remember writing this one and it was clearly explained to many. It is a very popular hub and just as you read it is also in good taste. Intimacy is not a naughty thing, it is a natural thing and being shameful is politically incorrect. Thank you for the kudos.


Vivek Nair 6 years ago

Is it the clipping of the news reader alakananda. seem that there is a blue film of her.


daniellehorgan 4 years ago

Haha this is brilliant! Voted up and funny!


ajayshah2005 profile image

ajayshah2005 4 years ago from Mid Asia

Very hot hub.Thanks AEvans!


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago

Oh Lord! have mercy of us! This is a hottie AEvans!

Probably inspiration was around..that night! Great read!

LORD


Yaduvanshi profile image

Yaduvanshi 4 years ago from Bharat Vrse

agree


AEvans profile image

AEvans 4 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

daniellehorgan: It was truly meant to be funny. Thanks for laughing. :)

ajayshah2005: Glad you enjoyed. :0

lord de cross: It is old, very old. lolo! Glad you enjoyed.:0

Yaduvanshi: Thanks :)


Brett.Tesol profile image

Brett.Tesol 4 years ago from Somewhere in Asia

A fun play on words! I like your style and you give some very true tips for couples.

Voted up, funny, useful and SOCIALLY SHARING.


cebutouristspot profile image

cebutouristspot 4 years ago from Cebu

Again AEvans you manage to use words in such a skilled way to come up with this fantastic hub. Great tips on how to make the passion burning :) Voting up


AEvans profile image

AEvans 4 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Brett.Tesol: Written long ago. It is funny! I am glad you enjoyed. :)


AEvans profile image

AEvans 4 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

cebtouristspot: Thank you. I forgot about this one.


Yaduvanshi profile image

Yaduvanshi 4 years ago from Bharat Vrse

I read it once more and enjoyed it


AEvans profile image

AEvans 4 years ago from SomeWhere Out There Author

Thank you. I am glad you enjoyed it. :0

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