How to Attract a Shy Guy


Being a shy person is never easy you try very hard to fit in but lack of communication can often make you an outsider. It can begin with simply feeling not on the same level as everyone else or just not wanting to live up to others expectations in social interactions. But being shy can be a major problem as you get older when it comes to dating and relating to the opposite sex. As someone who was always shy as a child, a teenager and even now to a degree I can say there was no shortage of issues throughout life. I would often wait for social interaction to be initiated by the other person and was not the one who did the asking when it can to dating.

This article is written from my perspective as a shy guy and for all of those girls out there who want to ask the out a shy guy. It includes quite a few things that would have made it easier for me and as such should work on your intended boyfriend.


To ask someone out or initiate a relationship with a shy guy you need to keep in mind that it is a process. As a shy guy we are usually have our doubts that a girl is really interested. But at the same time you don't want the shy guy to think you move from man to man quickly. We are interested in a relationship that counts, a long term and loving connection. You need to use subtlety initially to make a connection. If you are in high school or college this can be as simple as starting small talk with him, including him in your group. Look to create situations that you will begin to interact that are not overtly obvious to the shy guy.

After making contact progress the relationship as friendship. Invite a few friends along with your shy guy out to go bowling, to the movies or other group activities to get to know him. Keep it to small a group possibly just two other friends. The idea is to draw him out of his shell and that doesn't happen when there are to many people around. Also make sure the friends you invite out are laid back and easy going. Anyone threatening or obnoxious will not help you. Engage him in conversation and help him to have fun while out.


After you have been going out for awhile as a foursome ask just one friend to come along once or twice and have them make an excuse about needing to go home early. By this point if he is comfortable enough with being alone with you and without others present progress with this. Over the next while play things by ear. If you feel that you will not scare him off slowly show him how you feel again with subtlety and hints. Eventually you should be able to judge if he feels the same way toward you. When you know for a fact he feels the same way wait for the right moment. Possibly at the end of a great night out and give him a kiss.

After you kiss him things will be definitive, he will either keep going out with you now as a couple or tell you straight out that he isn't interested, if he doesn't ask him directly. In terms of a continuing relationship keep in mind even the most shy guy will open up to someone who is loving and shows him how much he means to her.

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Comments 13 comments

LadyFiddler profile image

LadyFiddler 4 years ago from Somewhere in the West

LOL , thanks for the tips ;)

picklesandrufus profile image

picklesandrufus 4 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

Good advice for any girl considering a shy guy.Thanks for shedding light on the topic.

dailytop10 profile image

dailytop10 4 years ago from Davao City

Shy guys should learn to step it up! heheh It really turns me off if a man don't even have the guts to simply ask for my name or number. Nice hub though! Thank you for sharing and have a blessed weekend.

Angela Blair profile image

Angela Blair 4 years ago from Central Texas

Great tips -- although my guy appears to be very outgoing (to most others) underneath he's basically shy and has been since childhood. I make a lot of concessions -- even after having been together for years -- as every occasion can trigger the "shy guy" to withdraw. Shy guys also have a certain mystique that remains a challenge to most women whether the woman will admit it or not. Super Hub and great info. Best/Sis

Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up. The shy ones usually have all the problems. I've known a few and they usually were able to come out into the light with one or the most two special friends. Never did good to scare this type of guy off.

Lipnancy profile image

Lipnancy 4 years ago from Hamburg, New York

It is tough to deal with shyness. Thanks for the wonderful suggestions.

terrektwo profile image

terrektwo 4 years ago from North America Author

LadyFiddler - did my best :)

terrektwo profile image

terrektwo 4 years ago from North America Author

picklesandrufus - thanks for reading :)

terrektwo profile image

terrektwo 4 years ago from North America Author

dailytop10 - shy guys should step it up but for whatever reason causes their shyness it can make it hard for them. But often shy children can still grow up to be outgoing adults. Also sometimes all it takes is the right woman to draw out that great hidden personality :)

terrektwo profile image

terrektwo 4 years ago from North America Author

Gypsy Rose Lee - thanks for reading you and commenting, for sure sometimes issues can be that reason for keeping to oneself.

terrektwo profile image

terrektwo 4 years ago from North America Author

Lipnancy - hope it does help some women and shy guys get together :)

Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

those shy people need love.. and they need someone to love them.. I understand perfectly I married and fell in love with a shy man



terrektwo profile image

terrektwo 4 years ago from North America Author

Deborah Brooks - very good to hear, shy men can be great gentlemen and have much to give if they meet the right person to draw them out :)

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