How You Can Tell Your Best Close Friend You Love Them

There is little in life that is more frustrating that having deep feelings for someone who you're "just friends" with. And there is little that is more frightening than to consider revealing those feelings to your friend because you run the risk of jeopardizing the friendships. For that reason, it is important to think carefully before telling your friend that you're in love. It is also important to prepare emotionally once you've made the decision that you're going to communicate your feelings to your friend. And finally, you'll need to find the right way to tell your friend to ease the awkwardness of the situation.

First things first, make sure that you really want to tell your friend about your feelings. Are you certain that you're in love? Do you want to tell your friend because you are hoping that your revelation will lead to a relationship? Or is this a situation in which you just need to get the feelings off of your chest even though you don't think it's likely that your relationship is ever going to be anything more than platonic? Take some time to really get a good grasp on why you are interested in sharing this with your friend at the current time. Work through your thoughts in a journal or talk to a counselor to explore the reasons motivating you to share these feelings and make a thought-through decision about whether to proceed or to leave things as they are.

If you've decided that you are indeed going to tell your friend that you're in love, you should prepare emotionally for the ramifications of that. You should consider what might happen to your life if your friend decides that he/she doesn't share your feelings and doesn't want to be as close to your for awhile after the revelation. Think carefully about what you will do to protect yourself in this situation. This includes creating a support network of other friends and loved ones who can spend time with you if this happens. Of course, you're hoping that this isn't the end result of your revelation, but you should prepare for it anyway, just in case. You don't want to be left with no best friend after the conversation has taken place.

You should also think about what you want from your friend. Being able to clearly articulate that is going to make the conversation go more smoothly. Just revealing your feelings for your friend to deal with can be shocking and overwhelming to the friend. But if you have a plan in mind and know what you want, you give your friend the chance to make a decision without being so overwhelmed. Know what you want in case the friend shares the feelings and what you want in case he/she doesn't. For example, you may want to proceed to a romantic relationship if those feelings are shared but to discontinue the friendship entirely if they are not. Alternatively, you may want to spend more time developing your relationship if the feelings are shared but would be content to stay friends as is if not. Know what you want so you can tell your friend when the conversation takes place.

Finally, you'll need to tell your friend, of course. You should pick an appropriate time and setting for doing so. Don't just burst out with your emotions one day as your having a quick lunch before returning to the office. Make sure that you have the time and privacy for a complete conversation about the topic. If you feel like it's better done in a public place, go for coffee or dinner. Otherwise do it in the comfort of one of your homes. Be clear and honest in your announcement about your emotions. Let the other person know what you are feeling and what you want to happen from here on out. Then wait and see what he/she has to say. You might be surprised to find that these feelings were shared all along and your friend just didn't know how to tell you!

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BeatsByE40 2 years ago

I posted on here almost 3 years ago and I'm now in a relationship with the girl of my dreams 2 years next month sometimes all you need is time it's crazy seeing all these posts from 6 or 7 years ago because I'm sure everyone has grown up so much

Person16 2 years ago

So I posted on here three years ago when I was 13 and said I was in love with my best friend. I kept it from him though and eventually got over it sort of and started liking other people. But two days ago he asked me to be his girlfriend and now we're dating!! I guess I just needed to give it time :)

Melanie 2 years ago

I read through all these comments and it seems that almost no one has a positive story where it has worked out! This goes to show that the whole 'friends ending up together" is a cliche in Romance movies but rarely happens in real life!

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Silver1981 2 years ago

It's so difficult. I've saved this page in my inbox for many years and yesterday I decided about a month ago that I want to tell my best friend.

What can I say? I choked. Every time I came close to telling her, I heated up like a stove and heart raced. I definitely was overthinking and she was being a good friend as usual so I didn't feel up to throwing this "bomb" out there.

So I left her home about 10 pm.. Usual hugs and here I am again. Still haven't told her... Saw her in my dreams and woke feeling bad because my girlfriend was next to me.

Somehow I need to deal with this. It won't go away

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melvaughn 2 years ago

I revealed my feelings for my guy friend. He had one nice reply back and then we never spoke again.

dean 4 years ago

I told my best friend this summer and she didnt take it well she repeatted tells me that we are just friend and hopes i can live with that and i can because i truly do love her but she has started to avoid me ever chance she gets. everyone tells me to give her space but i feel i have lost my best friend over this!

hf 4 years ago

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abbykorinnelee 4 years ago from Ripon Wisconsin

I was 12 when I met a 13 year old boy who moved in across the street. "Boy Next Door" situation:) We became friends fast, best friends in fact. When I was 13 did the awkward six week relationship and held hands. Never really kissed even that dreadful peck you get so excited for lol. Through the next five years he was always there for me no matter for what, where, when, didn't matter. At 18 things started heating up super fast. First time I knew what "intense" felt like and later we termed it first time we felt any passion to that caliber. I didn't know I was his first girlfriend either. I didn't know he felt the same way. For seven years he even knew that the boyfriend I call my first love wasn't my true first. He also knew it was him. I never said anything and neither did he. We had lost touch for 15 years. I always thought of him. Wondered how he was. Glad he was happily married with kids. I was divorced twice. I truly never found what that had given me but I thought it was teenage love. Turns out for me, those feelings came flooding back and I am now in my 30's.

I didn't have to tell him, and maybe we didn't because we both are the type that was what is meant to be will happen. Had I said something maybe it would have ended a friendship I would never have been able to lose. He gave me what I haven't been able to find again and that part makes me so much more appreciative of something I downplayed for so long.

I will be honest. I want what I walked away from all those years ago. Now that I am grown and been through a rough existence, I can see how great of a guy he has always been. I always knew the qualities he had were special and he was one of the good ones...even when labeled the one that got away...but I thought there were a dime a dozen men like him. Truth is there isn't. I haven't been able to find it. We live across the nation from the other. Kids involved. I don't know how possible it is but I know what I want now. I want him finally. But! I don't want to lose him either if he isn't feeling it. So it comes down to what is what I can live with or without...I have lived without being with in a relationship...but I know I could never live without his friendship.

julian 4 years ago

i like my best

friend but shes dating another man does love her the way that i do

Amy 4 years ago

I've known this one guy since primary school. He's perfect, there are no other words. He's not like all the other guys, doesn't act stupid, he's not afraid to be himself and he's such a genuinely nice person. I had a crush on him in primary school which he knew about and he said he didn't like me.

As we moved into secondary school I sort of got over him and for a few years we didn't really see each other but when we did we could just chat a little. The thing is though that I never did completely get over him, deep down I still love him and I think I always will.

In the last year I've joined a group of friends who are friends with his friends too so we see more of each other. If he loved me back I'd be so happy, I couldn't put in down in writing but I know he never will; he just doesn't see me that way. So instead I have tried to become closer friends with him and tell myself that we are just friends and nothing more.

I'll never tell him that I love him but being friends should hopefully help me because seeing him as friends is better than never seeing him at all.

kim 4 years ago

I love my best friend Paige but she is a girl and I am a girl love her sooooooo much and I told her I was bi and she send that she was to but is she losing to me yes or no I want to no so bad that is how much I love her what will I do and when and were will I do it at people how bi r the same as ever onein the world ok so don't get mad at me

Helen 4 years ago

I think everything will be fine eventually...time is a wonderful thing... moving on slowly now. :) I realise things happen for a reason and if you want to be happy its up to you and no one else to achieve this.

hopeless 4 years ago

I had a guy friend, we started to like each other, and we went out for months. He dumped me, but never told me why. We continued to be friends, but every time i see him I still feel like I love him. He has been pressuring me to tell him what i told a close friend of mine ( i told her i love him) now I want to tell him, just to get it off my chest, but if I lose him again I don't know what I would do... I'm scared..

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Snow1989 4 years ago

Yeh this stuff is horrible... I still haven't decided should I tell her or no... I keep thinking better friendship then nothing...

jaja2012 4 years ago

i am in love with my best friend,im getting crazy.hesmuch much younger!!!!!cannot be!!!!!!what will i do????

tina 4 years ago

Tina from Canada

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BeatsByE40 4 years ago

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y n


Helen 4 years ago

Should have listen to you guys....Don't do it. Epic i'm in a horrible place.

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BeatsByE40 4 years ago

Ok I am 15 and male there is a girl 14 that I have been friends with for maybe less then a year I like her she might like me we text every day from around 5:30 to around 9 when she goes to bed we tell each other goodnight everynight. She goes to a diff school not very far just diff we hang out on weekends sometimes we went to the movies couple times that kind of thing she seems like she might like me gimmie some advice somthing

larry davida 4 years ago

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Cheap jerseys 5 years ago

I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it Smile I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post..

Helen 5 years ago

I agree with you @anabelleharrison. Im 22 and In the exact situation as you. Everytime i build up the courage i back out like a coward. I love him so much but so scared i will ruin my life if i let my feelings known

Dominic 5 years ago

I tried i failed she isn't even my friend anymore well life sucks and so does love figured that out on Valentines day *sigh* why did i try we were good friends.

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Anabelleharrison 5 years ago

Oh how I wish I had the confidence of these 12 & 13 year olds posting comments.

I'm near 30, and am terrified of letting my feelings be known. I've known my best friend since we were in preschool. All through school, he was my first kiss, graduated together, everything. It's always remained on a friendship level though, even the first kiss. He is currently going through a divorce, and has recently came back into my life of not really keeping in contact for almost 8-10 years. When I say he's come back into my life, I mean texting, spending time together 2-3 times per week, you name it.

What I'm scared of is losing the friendship, obviously. I'm terrified of that. Our mothers are best friends as well. With us knowing each other for so long, I don't know how to go about even telling him, or if I should. I don't want to be that person that, years from now, constantly asks myself "what if?"

Nan 5 years ago

Good article!

I am in a similar situation. I have known this guy for about 8 years now and known him really well for the last 6 of them. He's one of my closest friends, one with whom I can discuss almost everything. I don't know if I love him but I do like him a lot. I think even he has feelings for me. But I just can't muster up the courage to ask him / express my thoughts. I don't want to ruin our friendship but I also want something more than it. Strange dilemma !

AD.AD 5 years ago

hey.. M 17. I love a girl from 10 years.. In starting yrs we just fight with each other as classmates.. But from last years we both have got mobile phones and shares messages.. We chat at an average o once per week.. I, once told her indirectly that i loved her but she said she doesn't feel the same.. So i twisted the talk n controled the situation telling the next day that it was my frnd who was doing all that .. So we again becom friends as usual.. She sumtimes send me messages which i feel she sent to get my attention.. I know the pain of being denied so don't feel it again.. I did'nt slept whole night on which she told me that she doesn't feel the same.. Now, i have come to know that she has a bf which i m not sure of... I love her more than myself... What should i do??

Dalal 5 years ago

I have a friend that dosent believe that i love her what should i d0?

kim 5 years ago

i toll my best friend after 27 year of friendship and it was good for 5 mth and them it all went down hill from there and now we do not even chat know more and if i new this would have end up like this i would have neven to him how i was feel because i lost my bestfriend and i miss him so much the chat the lol the dinner the weekend away our date night that we had even thur night for 27 year our good time and our bad time so do not tell because in the end you do lose them

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Micah S 5 years ago

Hey im a junior and i like/LOVE this sophmore elizabeth but the thing is i am really shy and convicted about prom. First off she has spoken to me but she did it three times FIRST. I the afternoon after the third time finally managed to say hey to her. But its Febuary and prom is on April 20th. EVERYONE at my school has basically told her that i want to ask her to prom, to be honest i dont really want to go to prom because im a weird kid. I like hardly ever talk to anyone in my grade or up and when i do its usaully almost always negative. So if i ask her to prom she will probally say yes but i dont know if im ready for the girl i liked for 13 monthsn in secret to see what kind of guy i really am. I dont want her to get hurt by having her hopes up and then hate me later next year but i dont KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!Its torrmenting me everyday... can someone please help.......Let me say again i REALLLLLLY like her but i dont want her to think were dating because im not EVEN close to be in a relaionship with someone...ive already had two and they ended terrible both girls hate my guts now..... PLEASE HELP

peter 5 years ago

Hello. I think i like my best freind but im not sure. What should i do? We r both 14 . I am a guy n she is.s a girl. She tries to talk to me alot but i just dont knw. And if i tell her my feelings i would want to go out with her an ifdk what wold happen. If she rejects me im afraid shemght tell everyone that i like her. Help!!!! My email is jkplatypus@ someone plllzzz email me wih advice. Pllllz

LOve 5 years ago

I love my friend and I hope he feels the same way i have known him for years and went to middle school and elementary with him so here I go with this advise

cliria 5 years ago

i dont know!?why but when he comes to me my heart beat is so fast,,he is an escort to our school and many pretty girls crush him but,aaarrrhhhggg,im so sorry cliford i just dont know how to i do,,,im so sorry im in love w/ u i hope u understand why!

dona belle 5 years ago

it easy

emily paterson 5 years ago

i am 13 i live in taree so dose my boyfriend but i never see him because he gose to a differnt skool wat do i doooo

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mandymoreno81 5 years ago

I feel that if you think it'll be too awkward to tell your close friend that you love them, it's best not to do it. Your actions and words probably show appreciation enough. If there's no issue with them liking you and you possibly leading them on, you can always say you love them in a lighthearted joking manner.

vikas sharma 5 years ago

i love my classmate name nisha very much but i don,t think she loves and she is also not my friend. So what i have to do. And i never talk to a girl before. Please sugges me. Waht i have to do?

john 5 years ago


Shelly 5 years ago

Hi im in my 30s ive been friends with this guy for 20yrs off and on recently we have been hanging out alot we decided to b "fwb" but im in love with him when we r together he kisses and hugs me for awhile takes me to luncnh and dinner he did tell me thatt whenn we were younger he had a major crush on me he used to introduce me as his friend and last week on the phone with his.friend he said "my girl" sjould I let him know or am I setting myself up for

Jenn 5 years ago

Hi. my name is Jennifer and I am 13 years old. i transfered schools when i was in second grade and the first person to talk to me, turned out to be my best friend. when we entered middle school, he looked more mature somehow. I spent a year always around him and realized that I love him. it is not just a crush. i have tried to tell him before, but i guess it scared him that his friend liked him that way and wanted to be more than friends. I spent two years away from him and i still feel the same way except the feelings are a lot stronger. Should i tell him again or just move on?

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ela 5 years ago

sorry i dident mean it i was going to say this is going to be help sull to me

ela 5 years ago

this is stupid

kathy 5 years ago

First, I wanted to thank you for the Lots-of-Luck spell that you have casted for me late last

year; I must confess that the good luck that I have had for the last two months have been

amazing, and I cannot thank you enough for them; things that were on the far ends of my

imagination just some months ago have materialized, and I must say I am very content with what

was brought about by your effort.thank to Dr.(

Ash 5 years ago

i m 17 now.We met around 2 yrs back.We became great friends and i used to discuss about my then crush.But i don't know why the feelings were changing.We used to be special for each other.i developed feelings for her.I couldn't resist further so had to convey it to her as soon.

But the mistake was i confirmed the case with our mutual friend and told her about my feelings for her..

After that we couldn't talk much around 7 mnths..

i thought that she got to know about this and she was reluctant..but the case was different..she came to know about this when i was already with someone else..:/

But i still felt the same for her.

But after she came to know about this she again continued the talk and urged my feelings out...but still she says m special..

i didnt want any relationship coz i felt she wasn't comfortable...

Now,whenever we talk we end up discussin about the same topic..She had told me that she feels awkward..but what shall i do to remove that awkwardness...should we be only friends or ask her out soon?..

09w29w0 5 years ago


eden 5 years ago

i love my boyfriend and he loved me and i told people and now he hates my guts i dont no what to do i want him back :'(

dont know what to do 5 years ago

hhhmmmmm so I think I know what Im going to do. I think Im going to wait two and half more years until we're both 16 and if something hasnt already happened to where either one of us are dating other people or whatever Im going to ask him to go to like dinner has friends and then casually tell him that I like him. Yeah I think thats what I'll do. Hopefully I dont go crazy in the mean time.

Dylan 5 years ago

Almost two years later and I'm commenting, weird right?

Now, should I have found this little over a year ago, or even thought to look for it, I would have posted then but now I might as well share my little story with you all.

We haven't known each other as long as some of you (a little over a year) and I may as well have chopped my own arm off the way I first spoke to her. Over the course of a few months we talked, and I genuinely wasn't looking for anything; but I found it. After knowing her for a few months I had intense feelings, though I thought them to be less than they were, I still know I felt something. I waited, I waited WAY too long, and another guy took this... well not perfect, we all have our flaws, wonderful, amazing girl that I thought the world of.

Needless to say, I felt hurt, and upset, and in pain, and for a long while after that, I was hurt. It was a "as long as she's happy right?" type of a reasoning. Well, during that period I spent most of my time reflecting, and focusing on my personal insight into the lives of others. I became wiser than I ever would have otherwise, and honestly, I don't regret any of it going down the way it did.

Fast forward about eight months and you've reached the end of summer 2011. Over the summer break (both of us are 17) we reconnected, started talking again. But it's still not enough, I still carry that same torch, and she's developed some semblance of feelings for me, but I still don't think we're ready for the relationship (hindsight, y'know) and so, I keep my distance.

I'm still a close friend to her and we talk, almost daily (we miss a few every once in a while) and more recently (September-ish) she picked up a boyfriend. Now, for the other guy I was hurt; this guy, I was beyond angry. She had chosen, one of the people from my past I specifically held a deep dislike for, in my earlier higschooling, he had gone out of his way to give me a hard time. So again, I left. But after a month away, another month of growing, I came back.

I honestly feel that I'm ready for this relationship, but at the same time, I still have some growing to do, and so does she. I told her my feelings somewhere along the lines and now they're a thing we joke about, but still I feel something. We both go to college in the fall (I'm technically already there... but I mean both of us) and for now I'm going to focus on my academics.

I think I'll give us another shot in the fall. But for now... I think I'm good with friends.

Am 5 years ago

I check this hub every few days because it's comforting to know that others are in the same situation. I will tell him one day, but it's hard to when I know I'll be rejected and he's so perfect. :'(

valleymaker 5 years ago

I met my best friends before she started dating another friend of mine and a month before i got divorced. she helped me through the hard times and we ended up spending more time togetherthan she and her boyfriend did. Id stay at her house and we'd have "dates" every week, but nothing inappropriate. after she left her boyfriend i told her how i felt but and said she had to choose between him and me, and since she was with him she had buried her feelings for me. we stayed friends for months afterwards, but i simply couldn't take watching her with other guys. she still would fall asleep in my lap, kiss my neck constantly be touching me and we were always in contact. Last week i told her i couldn't be there to support her needs when now aren't being met, and she still couldn't see me as anything but a friend. i ended up saying goodbye and told her id be there if she changed her mind, but i had to find a way to move on. I'm miserable now, and the only thing that gets me out of bed is the hope that she'll realise how much she misses me and changes her mind. right now though, leaving was the biggest mistake I've made

Don 5 years ago

I'm in about the same situation, i've known this girl for years, and lately i've developed strong feelings for her, I thought she had been giving me signs for like 6 months now (not gonna read them all up), so I told her that i've fallen in love with her, just couldn't keep it inside anymore.

But her reaction was like "WHAT?! oh no...". Havent seen her, barely talked to her in a month now, shes my best female friend and I just hope she's not uncomfortable with me now, maybe I was just too straight-forward too soon.

Jorge 5 years ago

Ok I loved my best friend for like 3 yrs but we never dated or had any really intimate moments (at least that's how I see it) she always was there when I had no one else and I was always there for her when she needed help. She and I both had relationships that ended abruptly. I also rushed to tell her my feelings and now I'm like, did I just ruin something that could've been everlasting, because she won't even talk to me and it hurts because I don't really have anyone else besides my Mom, Dad and best male friend. I just would like to know if it's possible to ever talk again or has my rushed inner feelings already doomed the relationship...and I also wrote her a letter explaining every time I wished I would've went with her, and also an ass of a phonecall that said a real man doesn't leak out his feelings...someone please help me out if you can, because I'd like to know if I have to move on or still try.

unsure 5 years ago

i started seeing this guy i went to school with and things were going good. i had heard that he said he wanted things to progress with me but then it slowed down. he got less affectionate, and i found out he "doesnt want a relationship" but he still kisses me goodnight/goodbye every time we hang out. im not sure if hes not ready for a relationship right now or at all. he calls me everyday and we see each other all the time. i fell for him and now im not sure what he wants. i know he has intimacy issues from the past so should i just be patient and give him time to come around, or try and move on?? i want to tell him how i feel but im worried it will ruin our friendship and id rather have him in my life than not at all. WHAT SHOULD I DO???

Someone who needed help 5 years ago

Hi. You can see my name so I'm not going to say it again. I like nearly all the other commenters here, am in love with one of my best friends. She (yes she is a she as am i[not so uncommon anymore]) said at one point that she was in love with me. She later claimed that she wasn't. Just the other day she asked if I still like her and I told her I didn't know how I felt (bc i was still trying to figure that out at the time). She said not knowing "made her sad". But she didn't know why she was upset by not knowing. She had seemed to decide that she wasn't going to be with a girl ever again. She had been with one (only the one) before but it hadn't turned out well. I know now that I am in love with her. But I don't know how to tell her that.

Jenny 5 years ago

I'm just gunna write it on a piece of paper and put it in his locker


Cam 5 years ago

Well told her and I guess it went good, I mean it was as much as I expected. She said doesnt even want to risk a relationship because it could ruin our friendship forever and I mean I understand that perspective completely and feel the same way except that no matter what I always want her in my life. Either way, she said she was glad I told her and I felt soo much better. A massive weight lifted from me that night lol. So just talk to them you know you have to anyways, thanks for the advice ladies and good luck to all.


danielle 5 years ago

I understand you to Nicole but I have known this guy for about a year and he is the one i can go to about everything but I dont know if I can tell him these felling that are stuck in me cause. I'm scared it well mess up our friendship. Plus he told me he like me like the first month we met and at that time I didn't want to take such a big step like that. I just dont know what to do anymore. I NEED HELP

Nicole 5 years ago

I do the same as you Helen, there's this guy I've known for just over a year and I love him so much, it really hurts. I know when I'm going to tell him so it's not as much of an issue for me but that time is several months away and waiting is really hard. Anyway, I've found that in this situation, time doesn't heal anything, because nothing's happened yet. You won't stop feeling anything until you've talked to him, otherwise there's always that doubt.

Tyler 5 years ago

I told my best friend that I Loved her right before I shipped out to basic. I ended up telling her boyfriend to. It hurt brutally but I recovered and we are friends still. Though we are not together I am still in love with her. I hope that she'll come around one day however unlikely.

Helen 5 years ago

I know i have to do it. i thought time heals wounds but clearly not. everyday my feelings just grow stronger and i waste my days thinking of him when he's not here with me. I give off a persona of being extravert and confident but deep down this just covers the shyness in me. Think its time he saw that side.

Nicole 5 years ago

I don't think there's ever a 'right' time. There are better times, just not right times. In some ways I feel I need an excuse sometimes, something I can fall back on if it all goes horribly wrong, to say I love someone. Now's a good time because it's Christmas/holidays but I think you just need to be a little more forceful in saying that you need to talk, now and on your own. If you say it seriously enough I think he'll listen.

Helen 5 years ago

Wish i could take my own advice!! Is there ever a right time or moment?? 'stuff' always seems to get in the way and before i know it another month has passed. Tears me apart every time i think about it.

Cam 5 years ago

Thank you! yeah I know I forsure have to tell her, and I do plan on it

Helen 5 years ago

Hay, I think its definitely time to tell her! yes its messed up..that is never going to change. If your 'friendship' is strong enough you will survive..and if its more than that then that's great! personally I would want to know then at least you can't be called fake and you both know where you stand. Love is such a strong feeling i think it will eat you alive if you do nothing. Don't have any regrets.x

Cam 5 years ago

I like this site but I would really like some input from a girls perspective. Ok so I have really really strong feelings for my bestfriend Alex. She's just so perfect in every way and its almost like she doesnt even realize it. I met her like 3 years ago and have been best friends ever since and Ive always liked her. Around the time that I met her she went out with someone (We can call him bro A) who I am really good friends with he is a true bro. After that she went out with another really good friend(B) of mine for like two years.After they broke up I thought I really would have a chance but it just seems like I have dug myself so far into the friendzone that it feels impossible to get out. Honestly tho, I want nothing more than her, she is absolutely all I think about and we are so close. I have always helped her through relationships and breakups and the guys always end up treating her like shit and I just cant even take it. I mean obviously Im going to at least tell her to get the feelings out there but its hard because there are just some many options and repercussions.

1. I tell her and find out she feels that same. its what I want more than anything, but it comes with distancing myself from bro B because I mean it just has to. we are somehow all really close and its just fucked up i dont even know.

2. I tell her and get rejected. Shitty but at least we would still be friends and maybe get closer. I mean at least she would know how I feel.

What sucks is that I just feel like I would forsure have to distance my self from the whole situation for a whilee if it does not work out. And I heard that she just had sex with bro B. Like WTF it just pisses me off, I mean that at least could have been me right, who actually likes her like this and not just trying to fuck my friend. IDK I just feel like this whole thing is just fucked its so terrible, im a twice spun third wheel and I cannot do this anymore. Plus I kinda feel like it would make everyone feels weird cuz two of my best bros already have dated her?

Should I just distance myself from everyone and get over it, try to anyway, and just do my own thing for awhile? And I know we could have the most amazing relationship, no matter how long i have to wwait this feeling will nver go away, it legitimately not going anywhere. I have tried but i cant even keep a relationship because she is all i even want to think about. idk i just hate this shit it sucks

To anyone who took the time to actually read all of this i really appreciate it lol it really makes me feel better tho. input much appreciated as well :)

Alex if you read this I LOVE YOU

5 years ago

I love Allison watkins.

Helen 5 years ago

I have chosen to tell him as well...tomorrow is the night... the signs so far have been soooo excited!! i want this more than ever! I think its for the best.

Nicole 5 years ago

You'll be fine, really. Things hardly ever turn out as bad as you think they're going to. We fear the worst but often it doesn't happen. Let me know how things go :)

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crissy79boy 5 years ago

Thanks for the advice Nicole. I plucking up the courage to tell her this Saturday. I've never felt so nervous in my life.

Nicole 5 years ago

Sounds to me like you have nothing to lose by telling her how you feel. Relationships clearly don't phase her so she won't be massively freaked out. Those signs seem pretty obvious to me, go for it ;)

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crissy79boy 5 years ago

Hi all. I have just joined the hub for some advice on this topic.

I have been best friends with a woman for about 10 years and we are really close. We live in different towns in the week and we spend our spare weekend-time together.

We trust each-other and talk about things only the two of us know. She is also very tactile and always gives me a warm hug, smile and a kiss (sometimes very close to my lips).

She always invites me out if there is an event or concert and I do the same. And when we txt each-other she always puts "love you loads xxx" or something similar.

Now this is the tricky bit. She had a messy breakup with her boyfriend not so long back and recently got with another chap about 4 months ago soon after.....(possibly on the rebound)

I've been getting alot of signs from her over the past year or so. One example is when I found out she is with her new boyfriend I made a big step and said "I was gonna ask you out on a date" and her reply was "well you should've Mr." and we joked about it, just like we joke about being married together. Now we have been talking about getting a place together and I asked her about what her new boyfriend would feel about that and she said that he would have to learn to accept it. Another example is when she said to me "You had a chance a while ago"...and then when I started to feel a bit deflated she said quietly "There's nothing stopping you", and this was when she is still with her new boyfriend.

Sounds all well and good so far. But, it's me with the deep feelings for her and i'm totally besotted by her and fallen for her like i've never felt before with anyone else. And when we say goodbye to each-other, I usually go home gutted.

So, all I ask from you is some advice on how to tell her how I feel about her, and whether the signs i'm getting are promising. I want to tell her how I feel without trying to jeopardize her new relationship and not to jeopardize our friendship.

Amwi 5 years ago

I know it's really hard Helen, but I think you should tell them at some point. It's really awful keeping your emotions bottled up inside you, in the long run I think it would be better if you told him/her, to let your feelings out, that way you won't be carrying a weight around on your shoulders. It will probably take some time but if your friend is a good one they'll probably be able to put it behind them if they don't feel the same way. If you do decide to let them know I wish you all the best :)

Helen 5 years ago

Why is this so hard. Its just tearing me apart. My only excuse is that i don't want to lose my best friend. Which is more important having what i dare to dream of or settling for something which isn't broken?

Amwi 5 years ago

I've been reading through some of the comments and I really identify with some of them. This is obviously an issue that many people struggle with and it's really great to find others in more or less exactly the same position as you.

I'm 15, there's this guy at school who moved to our school just over a year ago, he's reeeeeally gorgeous and we share loads of interests and a sense of humour, we're always chatting, we sit together in lessons loads and we're really good friends. I love him so much, every time we're together I feel so sad, I've felt this way almost ever since he moved to our school. I asked him out about a year ago and he said no but I was sort of ugly then :L I had bad hair I just didn't look great. He went out with my best friend I've known for 9 years, and now he's sort of in love with my other friend, who's in a really deep relationship already, but he keeps giving me signs that make me think maybe he does like me. Last night at my friend's birthday party we kissed on a dare (twice.) It was my first proper kiss and I really want to tell him how I feel because there's a chance he might feel the same and I need to get my feelings off my chest but I don't want it to be awkward. I'm going to wait until the end of the school year (as we're going to different colleges) and that way I never have to see him again if I don't want to and neither does he. I don't want to lose him yet.

BLAH BLAH! 5 years ago

I Told One Of My Really Goodfriends That I Loved Her About An Hour Ago. I said," Anyway I Love You, Goodnight."

She said,"I Love You Too, Goodnight." Were just friends though.

Royo 5 years ago

I'm 13,a girl nd am deeply in luv with my best male friend.i think he feels d same 4rm his actions nd his 4rends and mine have told me dis but he hasn't gotten courage 2 tell me. Do u think i should tell him? Help pls.

wwwwat 5 years ago

you need not to use the word 'love' when you want to talk to someone about your feelings. You can always say that "I always have such a great time hanging out with you" or "you're one of my favourite people" or whatever else you can come up with, say it like you're kidding, and depending how she responds you should be able to tell if she feels the same about you. In case that she does feel the same about you, it will be evident to her that you like her, if not she'll just see it as a joke and won't freak out. I mean we're talking about friends here right? you should know your friend well enough to tell if she likes you or not, if you're doubting her feelings for you then you shouldn't say "I love you" it sort of demands an answer and commitment right away, play it cool man.

Seriously if you're unsure stay away from the cliche *brush her hair away, kiss her, and say i love you* (that only works if both of you feel the same, in that case you don't even need to say anything you both will feel it)

If only I'd followed my own advice... haha oh well thats how we learn

dont know what to do 5 years ago

Alright so i'm 13 and i love my best friend whos only like one day older than me. Everybody in my class knows that i love him........ except him. Oh and by the way i am a girl just to clear that up. I've always loved him but a few years ago he left and he only came back at the beginning of this year and in that time i just fell in love with him even more. I dont know if he likes me back or not but i think he does maybe. One of my other friends who's a guy always ask us why we dont go out. Every time i just stay quiet but he says its because we're best friends and he had already asked someone out. But she said no and she's 2 years older than him. He wasn't upset so i was absolutly happy but i didnt tell him that. I just dont know if i should tell him if i like him or just wait to see if he will eventually just say he likes me or what. I've known him my whole life but i dont know if it will make things awkard or what.

@helen- all that i can say is if you think he likes you, you could write him a note or just try talking to him. Sorry i dont have very good advice but i've never had a boyfriend or anything. Well i tried. Anyways good luck!!

Helen 5 years ago

For anyone that cares, he seems to like me too!! Yey!! Now I need advice! I didn't think what to do next!

Helen 5 years ago

You sound far to young!! Let time pass i'm sure you will look back an laugh. But for now immerse yourself in your school work...You don't want to loose out on a great life over some 'player'. Focus on life achievements not some idiot. The right guy will be waiting for you around the corner.

Abbbster 5 years ago

Well... What if you've been best buddies forever and you have already kissed as kids (8yrs old)but then his feelings went away and now you have a major crush on him and he's a player(12 yrs old) we have both matured and love him with all my heart and he might know but he might not know he alreadyon like his 15th girlfriend since school started (3-4 months ago)

Abbbster 5 years ago

Well... What if you've been best buddies forever and you have already kissed as kids (8yrs old)but then his feelings went away and now you have a major crush on him and he's a player(12 yrs old) we have both matured and love him with all my heart and he might know but he might not know he alreadyon like his 15th girlfriend since school started (3-4 months ago)

Helen 5 years ago

@Mechohosepop - All I can say is at least you have tried the relationship already and you know it doesn't work. It makes me feel hopeful that friendships can happen and last after love. If she is a true friend, perhaps you should lay your cards on the table, tell her what you feel. I think she needs to know. Even if she doesn't feel the same way you both know where you stand as friends and she may make it easier for you to be around her. I only say this because I believe your friendship is strong enough.

Love tares people apart but can also bring unlikely people together. How do I live with myself if a loose the one person I have ever loved if or when I tell him. I don't know if i can do it...I need to be happy but I don't want to loose my friend.

Mechohosepop 5 years ago

well im in a different situation i was already with this girl and it didnt last long. then we became best friends and i have even stronger feelings for her now than ever.the first time we broke up because we lost what we had as friends...we became best friends and everything is back at least for me. please can someone give me some advice?

jay jay 5 years ago

never easy to move on. but it seems that she has move on quite easily. it make me angry.

jay jay 5 years ago

@helen very true. but it sucks how things go that way. i lost my best friend. i been trying to work things out between us. trying to get back. but everything so awkward now. seems like she doesn't care anymore i know i messed up but how can you forgot of all the things I've done. but i guess that life it goes on. yea it's hard but i guess it's just what's it meant to be. i lost her.

That guy over there 5 years ago

I wish it was simple to move on. Every night I dream of her. Everyday I wonder what she is up to. Every day I wonder what would have happened if things were different. If we were together. Now she has a football player to love her. She never knew that I still love her. She still doesn't. I never found the words to say she is the one I think of everyday. No. Instead I insulted her intelligence, saying how "I was raised to be a smarty pants but instead I hang out with you guys." it sounds so horrible but I never meant it that way. I was trying to say I would rather hang out with her than with a bunch of smarty pants people because she actually cared about how I feel. Yet she knows not that I love her. To this day. To this very minute. Every beat my heart takes is only because I know she is happy. Im sorry you know how this pain feels. To love your best friend and not tell them. It's so painful. I hope everything works out for you.

Helen 5 years ago

@That guy over there. In no way are you a monster for showing your true feelings. And if she cant see it then she doesn't deserve you. You probably wont be able to move on and yes it will be hard to see her with other people but at least you know what love feels like and one day you will feel it for the right person and you will be extremely happy.

I have these feelings too, and it sucks. My heart feels so heavy everyday and I don't know what to do. Time will pass and I'm sure everything will be good we just can't see it yet.

Hang in there you will make it to the other side. xxx

aqsakahn-aqsa 5 years ago

my friend is nit added plase my solve promblem


That guy over there 5 years ago

I freakin made her mad and she de friended me on facebook. But after looking at what I did, I don't blame her. Right now on this very night, I may have lost the best friend I ever had. And I am very sorry for it. I am truly a monster.

Just my 2 cents 5 years ago

@ That guy over there - Jay Jay is right. Although it is harder to do that it is to say, you just have to move on. Right now it seems like she is just using you as a crutch and she may not even thoroughly realize it. I know you may just be glad that you are still friends with her but that's not the way to go because clearly, the friendship is hurting you. I know you feel that you love her more than you can ever possibly explain, but trust me, when you do find yourself in a true relationship (more than just friends) with someone, you will learn what love really is supposed to feel like; when the other person loves you back - and it will be so much more stronger.

I advise you to pull away from this friendship, because its hurting you too much. If you want the hurt to go away, you have to help yourself, because she's not changing. It's too hard to stay and watch her with other guys, and hear about who she's in love with. The best thing to do is surround yourself with friends and family as a support system. I don't mean you have to tell everyone what's going on with you and her, you just have to keep yourself (your mind) occupied. Go places, do things with people, just stay busy. When you're alone, all that does is cause your mind to think (over think) about her and the situation. You might go over different scenarios about what you could have done differently, but that'll just hurt you more. Keep your distance from her and start doing good for yourself.

jay jay 5 years ago

Everything happens for a Reason. Even though sometimes we don't understand the Reason, it eventually gives and leaves us a Lesson. don't stress it. friends come n go. best friends stick around no matter how hard the situation is.

jay jay 5 years ago

hardest thing to do is trying to act like you don't care when you really do. hardest thing to do is letting something or someone you love, go. but it's the best for you. hardest things to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else... we all been through it i know whats it like i hate how girls fall for these idiots. but the hardest things to do is MOVE ON.... be strong bro more important things in life. Believe in yourself...

jay jay 5 years ago

don't put yourself down like that. it only bring you down. avoid her. the beauty is inside you. live your life!! it's sad for me cause our friendship isn't gonna be the same. we don't talk like we used don't share things we each other like we used to we don't act like we used to but i'm not letting that get to me it made me stronger and better person . it hurts but sometimes it's best to try then to give up. it's gonna take time for all of us. Time heals.

That guy over there 5 years ago

Look at me. I'm letting my depression talk for me. But I can't ever let her go. She has been hurt enough already.

That guy over there 5 years ago

I feel like an empty shell. A void where people can dumb their garbage in. I love her so much. But will she ever love me? No one will ever want to be with a freak like me.

jay jay 5 years ago

bro your gonna have to move on. i know it hurts but she apparently doesn't care about your feelings. put yourself first not her. don't let it get to you. time to mov eon to bigger and better things. don't let one person ruin your life. plenty of other girls out there looking for a guy like you don't worry. slowly were moving just gotta be strong. i would stop talking to her and move on. explore your options go out an dhave fun you don't need that trust me. i been there already and i'm forgetting about it. stop interacting with her. its hard but you can do it. girls are hold on guys cause of the attention they get from them. or like comfort pillow. some girls just don't know how to let go. always get back or still talk to their ex. IT'S YOUNG LOVE. when you get older and you learn from it you'll realize...... only gonna make you stronger and smarter. do your own thing..

Dylan 5 years ago

So I told her everything. She's staying with the guy who cheated. And left me broken n shit. She lead me on ridiculously.

That guy over there 5 years ago

She was beautiful then and still is to this day. This hour. This very minute. I only want her happiness. But does that honestly mean I have to give up mine for her's? I never loved anyone as much as I love her now. Things couldn't get any worse.

That guy over there 5 years ago

Idk, jay jay. That's one question I may never answer. At least she tells you she loves you. She told her friend she loved the football player. And it hurts you know. Knowing that you could have had a chance if you did something different or played your cards better. Who wants to go out with a band geek when there is a football player that loves them too. A effen football player. And it's multiple people who ruin my life. Not just her. Thing is, if I tell her I still love her, what will she do? She would want me out of the equation. Out of her life. The only reason I got back in was because I "Got over her" which I clearly didn't. You know what I mean when I say I love her with my whole heart. Well I love her with my heart, mind and spirit. I never forget the first day I net her.

jay jay 5 years ago

i feel like im used. i dnt know how to make it go away. i dnt know how to make things the same again. well our hearts are broken bro. im sorry but it hurt me as much as it hurts you. i tell myself the same thing would she cared if something bad happen to me. but it worth it. dont let one person ruin your life. never know in the future. how can u pretend like if nothing ever happen and forget about it. for her it so easy cu she doesnt respect my feelings and she get any guy she wants. for myself its best to stop talking to that person and if you truly loved her you would let her go and if she came then you know. i know its hard for you. but its gonna take time for you get over it no matter how hard you try or pretend its gonna be hard. just stop talking to her for a while make her miss you. she begged me to stay with her as friend she said she needed me in her life and that she loves me but why??? why do girls do these things??

That guy over there 5 years ago

Now your sounding like the best friend that broke my heart. :P hey it's better to still have her as a friend than to lose her entirely. That's the same with me. I fell in love with her again and got my heart broken by her. I heard her clearly say to one of her friend after hugging that effen football player that she loves him. AND she wore his jersey. It hurst so much to the point of suicide but I know so much better. Yet the question still lingers, "Would everyone be better of if I was dead?" a question with no answer. But at least I can hide it all with a smile, right? Jay jay, I'm glad she is still your friend. At least you don't have to hide anything anymore unlike me.

jay jay 5 years ago

but after all this has happen why does she hold on me??? she said she still loves me and we still talk an pretend like if nothing ever happen. we still hangout and stuff. am i really just a comfort pillow or what?? why do girls keep so long on the side even when they date other guys and get their heart broken over an over again lol. i dnt get mad anymore i just stop caring....

jay jay 5 years ago

im back lol!! well i wouldnt tell your best friend you have feelings. well its depends and you need to look at the actions and clues they give you. don't let the friendship get to long because then they would see you only as a friend nothing more. im going through this and things still aren't the same between us. i try to forget but its so hard. if you really loved them you would let them go........... i wish it were that easy..

That guy over there 5 years ago

Well you will always get another shot. Yea, some friends get annoying. I tried asking a girl to this scary place for Halloween. Her first question was that if she could bring friends. :P I said yes and we started planning and it turned out she had a soccer game that day. :P oh well. I will have to try next month. Just never give up. The time will come. Trust me. That time hasn't come for me but it has happened to all of my friends

Helen 5 years ago

Ok, so I have invited him to to see a movie this evening, and planned on moving it further. I have now received a text from a mutual friend, and he has just invited them to tag along. Not Happy!..He has no clue I guess. The waiting will have to continue. Just hate this feeling.

That guy over there 5 years ago

Dylan:you have to tell her he is cheating on her! That's not right at all. But tell her how you feel after she goes through this guy. She will be heart broken after him and will need time to recover. Hope this helps and may everything work out for you in the end.

Helen: you should tell him. If he is like me, he would still have a soft spot for you. I hope everything works out for you in the end.

That guy over there 5 years ago

Dylan:you have to tell her he is cheating on her! That's not right at all. But tell her how you feel after she goes through this guy. She will be heart broken after him and will need time to recover. Hope this helps and may everything work out for you in the end.

Helen: you should tell him. If he is like me, he would still have a soft spot for you. I hope everything works out for you in the end.

Helen 5 years ago

I have been friends with my male best friend for over 4 years now. I know he used to 'love' me a couple of years ago, and I wasn't in 'that' place then, but we still remained very good friends. Now i am in that place, i'm unsure where he is. I'm so torn about what to do. All i want to do it yell it from the roof top and make that next step, but i feel horrible for not showing these feelings a long time ago. and now i feel he may not be in the same place as me. very messed up. I just love him so much and i don't no what to do?

Dylan J 5 years ago

So, Im in love with this girl. I told her I liked her but I didnt really do it right. I didnt do it with confidence. We are still close as ever, we have been friends for a while now. She got back with her boyfriend that she has broken up with countless times for cheating on her. Now, I am friends with this kid and recently found out he cheated on her once again. Im torn here, I want to tell her he's cheating, but I also really need to tell her how much I care for her. There's something between us, I don't think I should give up. Any help?

Matheus Andhy profile image

Matheus Andhy 5 years ago from U.S

my tears falls, its same too my problems with my boyfriends,

That guy over there 5 years ago

Yea it stinks but it happens. Happened to me twelve times already. And only one gave me a chance. It's not going to be the end of the world, man. That's not till 2012 or something. Anyway, just don't do something crazy that you and others will regret. Take care

jay jay 5 years ago

im lying to myself. its hurts everything u ever wanted. never given a chance. to even show who u really are. wish the best for you in your life. u will gt her someday. goodbye bro. thanks for everything

That guy over there 5 years ago

I know. It's weird because I got my best advice from a complete stranger. :/ but we all have/had the same problem so it's all good. Yea, I hope everything works out in the end, too. I don't want to lose her at all

jay jay 5 years ago

bro im curious i wonder who u are sometimes lol. like told a complete stranger all my feelings and it help me out a lot. nah bro dnt worry things will come along. just dnt giv eup so easily even it seems like it over. always have faith.

That guy over there 5 years ago

Yea. She doesnt have a Facebook though so that's one of my problems. And I don't even see her monthly. I just see her when I see her. I'm glad everything worked out for you in the end bro. You deserve it.

jay jay 5 years ago

as long as u have something in the end. lol txting come on u got facebook lol. yea but its gonna weird for us. we still hangout and stuff and see her this friday. but i guess things always change for the better.... just believe

That guy over there 5 years ago

That quote is defiantly a good quote. I told her I was over her and she is happy that I moved on. She still is kind of weary but, hey, as long as we stay friends, I succeed in that. Im not sure what I'm going to do about this new girl though. I try talking to her but she responds with things I can't comment back on. Plus, I don't have unlimited texting so icant text her alot. New problem, different ending

jay jay 5 years ago

thats really good quote bro. its keep uo and helps me but yea we friends again but still cnt help it if i still have feelings for her. the quotes helps me a lot bro. it has soo much meaning maybe there not ready for a strong relationship but were best friends and she told she needed me in her life and she said loves me. so im just gonna not talk to her as much anymore. but things will always workout just give it time right. dnt worry us good guys will get what we want in the end. i love that quote bro.

That guy over there 5 years ago

Yea things aren't going to well with the dance girl. I text her and she gives ne small responses like yeah and aww. I hate it. But I saw a quote that may help us both in the end. Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.

That guy over there 5 years ago

Yea. I saw a cool quote today and it really struck me hard. Don't cry because it's over.

Smile because it happened. It really stuck out to me. Anyway, try giving her space right now. She is probably still digesting it all. I hope everything will work out for you in the end, jay jay. You deserve it

jay jay 5 years ago

well thats good bro its hard but at least u got somethign out of it. i just txt her back i waited like a dya unitl i got over it and i txt her and told her i was sorry and what was goign through my mind and she hasnt respned back too me :( so im guessing something is up. so i hope didnt lose her.if i did this is my fault but what can i do

That guy over there 5 years ago

Yea. I am mostly over it. She still wants to be friends and she is now helping me get the girl who I took to the dance. So things turned out for the better. Who knows what will happen next?

jay jay 5 years ago

dnt put yourself down like that its better to be friend or to have nothing at all. dnt let it get to u. it seems hard for now. but she will coem along someday. time can only tell maybe later in life she realize. but dnt take it so hard. if she really loved u she would come back to u. and tell u that she need su in her life and she loves u. its hard to fall for someone when they dnt catch u. i know whats its like and i went through it too. hang in htere everythingw ill be alright

That guy over there 5 years ago

Idk man. I had my hopes so high. Now, I have none. Not even a spec of hope can be seen from where I'm standing. I really loved her. Now..........I wish I was just dead. People wouldn't have to worry about me then and can get on with their lives. Probably make many lives better if I just disappear. That's something I always wondered. What would life be like if I never existed? A question with no answer.

jay jay 5 years ago

dnt say that dnt feel that way. i felt like that yesterday friday night when i told her. i felt dying but i was strong enough and kept my hea dup. you have family and friends that care about you. she not the only thing in the world. yes its gonna hurt but why keep it in so long if your not yourself. be strong brotha we all been through it but time can only tell. dnt give up maybe in time she realized that she was wrong. its best to tell like man and tell her to her face. truth hurts but dnt let it bring u down. there othe rmor eimportant things in life. at least she doesnt liv elike 3 houses down from u lol

that guy over there 5 years ago

i wish it was just some sort of dream. a dream that feels all too real. i even wish i was dead

that guy over there 5 years ago

No...i didnt want to see the look on her face or the look on mine. she gave me those classic lines that "Im not ready for a serious relationship and we should just stay friends." I freakin crying out my heart now. I wish i kept my damn mouth shut.

jay jay 5 years ago

damn bro im sorry but things will work out. your not the only one your not alone. im going throuhg it too and i cryed my heart out. ITS HER LOST. well there always way. dnt give up on her. i fell like giving up on her not talking to her but what if our patience do work out at the end and we fiannly fall in love with our girls. u never know it seem impossible for now but sooner or later . no matter how hard the situation is is your truly loved her you would go backgoes both ways if she truly cared about you. did u tell her in person??? its the best way

That guy over there 5 years ago

I did it...i told her how much she actually means to me. Its probably the worst descion i ever mad but i wont know the outcome until a little bit. Now im crying even though i dontt know the outcome

that guy over there 5 years ago

Nothing seems to be working out anymore. My best Friend is now saying she isn't going to date this other guy anymore for who knows what reason. This isn't helping me decide!!!

That guy over there 5 years ago

I did go to the dance with the girl unless your saying date that girl. If you are saying that then I do but it feels wrong. I love my best friend and this girl and I don't want either of them to get hurt. If I choose the dance girl, I could never really look at my best friend again. If I choose my best friend, the dance girl may get hurt and I would feel bad. I'm lost and confused. Gosh I want to tell them but it's no use

jay jay 5 years ago

bro u have to go with your heart. i wish i could go back to sleep for it to be back to how used to be. now it doesn't feel the same anymore. its gonna take time for me to heal.

bro u have choose u cnt wait forever. if i were u i would go with the girl to the dance. cuz it gonna take the girl who tells u everything time realize what's in front of her. right now she see u as best friend cuz she tells u everything. u cnt hold in for long u have to tell them before its too late and u get hurt. promise me when u get out of your systen its gonna hurt but u feel soo much better at the same time. the things that sucks u can only choose one. u can do this just be strong and man uppp

That guy over there 5 years ago

I love them both now. I knew the girl that I asked to the dance for a little longer than my best friend. Dude I know how it feels. To look into her eyes and see a friend but want it something more than just friends. I have to do it with two girls now and I don't know which to pick. The friend who has been there for me and always has an ear to listen to my problems or the girl I danced with and chose to come to the dance where she knew very few people? I know it kind of seems obvious but I'm just so confused. The irony of this is that they met at the dance and became good friends almost right away. :/ I wish life was easier.

jay jay 5 years ago

how can u be friends with someone when you feel and care soo much about them. its hard im here thinking if i should be friends or not. i cnt stand it im trying my best to mature but i go back its just gonna bring me down i just dnt know what to do im soo hurt and confused. its never too late!! its hard to choose but make sure u choose wisely. well who have u known the longest whose done the most for u. who truly loves u and is willing to be with u. but if she with that guy dnt waste ur time. go wit the other girl. go with your heart

That guy over there 5 years ago

Yes you should stay friends with her. Show her that you are mature enoughto not allow feelings get in the way of your friendships. It's good you got it off your chest, bro. I can't do it though. It's too late for me. She likes this other guy and I want to respect that. Plus, I'm right now in a mix up in feelings. I still love her deeply but I still like this girl I'm taking to the dance. I'm not sure which one is better. :/ I'm so confused right now. :P

jay jay 5 years ago

well bro i did it i told her how i felt. and didn't go well at all. she only saw me as a friend things got really touchy and emotional and things arent gonna be the same between us anymore. i cryed and cryed but good note i felt sooo much better let out of my chest knew the truth. we might not even talk anymore. but really do u believe friendship is more important should i just keepy my friendship with her?? but im telling u now bro tell her before its too late dnt hold in like me. do it before your friendship has gone too far and cnt do anything about it. do it tell herrrr!!!!

That guy over there 5 years ago

Trust me, I'm the nicest guy around. And I hate it. And I know she is not trying to get me jealous. Her love is for real. Yes, I still love her. Yes, I cherish her. Yes, I would do anything for her love. Heck I'd run to he'll and back. I would build her a city with these grains of sand. I would be beside her for the rest of my life. But I just can't tell her. It's ironic in a way but oh well. Did you tell your girl yet?

jay jay 5 years ago

see gotta wait it through see what happens. well religion really??? well if she doubted it thens its an excuse she can be doing the same thing to you getting u jealous but u never know until u tell her ur true feelings. well i would wait and see but hey u at least have another girl to make her jealous i dnt have shitt lol. im just such a nice guy its screwing me over.

That guy over there 5 years ago

Now she's talking about ditching the guy if he doesn't ask her out. :P I mean, id rather not see her with him but she should still wait and see what he has to say

That guy over there 5 years ago

I don't know whether this is good or not but she is now telling me that she is not sure that she wants to date this guy because if his religion. I understand it but why all of a sudden? But I can't tell her because she is still into him and all. Plus, on a brighter side, a girl I asked to the dance (after my love's rejection) said she would like to go with me. :) though it's not her, it's better than none. (possibly make her jealous?)

jay jay 5 years ago

i completely with you why fight and try soo hard if she blind. i was with her today and my heart is broekn. she knows that's there soemthing inside but she just wants to be friends and its hurts. she knows the hints i just wish she didn't have to be sooo flirty or soo damn niiceee. i known her for soo long. exactly what's the point. i feel so sad and down. well i guess dnt give up cuz im already going down in that path and now itsa time for her to knowww the truth. well im doing it broooo for better or worse

That guy over there 5 years ago

It's amazing how some girls are so blind. There is this girl who is fighting for the same guy as her and she (the girl I love) told me about it. I asked her if she would like me to talk to the other girl but she said no. But I explained to her that if she and this guy start going out, I want that other girl to know she isn't the only one losing the person they love. She asked me how that can be when there are only two guys that like her (the one she likes and the football player). :/ girls can't take hints very well. But I never want to lose her. I want us to stay best friends and just move on along. But why can't anything ever work out right in the end? Disney movies always do. But anyway. I really do feel like giving up. I just don't want to, you know?

That guy over there 5 years ago

It's amazing how some girls are so blind. There is this girl who is fighting for the same guy as her and she (the girl I love) told me about it. I asked her if she would like me to talk to the other girl but she said no. But I explained to her that if she and this guy start going out, I want that other girl to know she isn't the only one losing the person they love. She asked me how that can be when there are only two guys that like her (the one she likes and the football player). :/ girls can't take hints very well. But I never want to lose her. I want us to stay best friends and just move on along. But why can't anything ever work out right in the end? Disney movies always do. But anyway. I really do feel like giving up. I just don't want to, you know?

jay jay 5 years ago

damn bro that's deep. touch my heart with that. well that's how i feel selfish cuz i want her to myself. but i guess we have to wait it out cuz im same way to. she feels like she cares more about the outside then what's counts in the inside. the worst feeling ever is not knowing whether you should wait or just give up. im afraid of the outcome. i dnt want to be friends the truth hurts but u never know. if things dnt workout between me and her i dnt think i could talk to her anymore its hurts knowing someone else is with her kills me. i hate it that she doesn't even think of me as much anymore. like she throwing out there to me like just friends sorry. but its for the best im so tired of this shit i hate how ive done so much for this girl been through she still cnt see it. well i hope the best for you bro just give it time. watch when that guy does a wrong thing she be coming back to you. well if u love something dnt give up and if it comes back then u know. funny thing everyone says were going out though we were bf and gf cuz we are always together. i feel like she knows that i care but im afriad to show my true feelings.

jay jay 5 years ago

damn bro that's deep. touch my heart with that. well that's how i feel selfish cuz i want her to myself. but i guess we have to wait it out cuz im same way to. she feels like she cares more about the outside then what's counts in the inside. the worst feeling ever is not knowing whether you should wait or just give up. im afraid of the outcome. i dnt want to be friends the truth hurts but u never know. if things dnt workout between me and her i dnt think i could talk to her anymore its hurts knowing someone else is with her kills me. i hate it that she doesn't even think of me as much anymore. like she throwing out there to me like just friends sorry. but its for the best im so tired of this shit i hate how ive done so much for this girl been through she still cnt see it. well i hope the best for you bro just give it time. watch when that guy does a wrong thing she be coming back to you. well if u love something dnt give up and if it comes back then u know. funny thing everyone says were going out though we were bf and gf cuz we are always together. i feel like she knows that i care but im afriad to show my true feelings.

That guy over there 5 years ago

And thus my chance is gone. She desperatly wants to go out with this guy. although there is. . . a heavy pain in my chest, i still want to wish her the best. To conclude, I lost the best girl life could throw at me. though we will remain friends, i never told her that i love her. i probably will still love her. but now it will be a sin. i really want to say so much more but......what's the point? i lost her to some kid and now ive lost the game. I do hope though that this guy will make her happy. because her happiness is my happiness. even if its through a pained smile....

That guy over there 5 years ago

Yea. Turns out for me there is only one gut ( non-football player). :/ but it's still getting serious. :( she constantly hangs out with him and.....I want what's best for her. But am I being selfish if I want her all to myself? I mean, I want to spend the rest of my life with this girl. But is she willing to have me? I feel like I should just give up on it. I hope everything goes well for you jay jay.

Contact ---- 5 years ago

Contact ----

jay jay 5 years ago

girls love when a guy notice the little things. don't just buy her flowers cuz its her bday or to say sorry.. BE RANDOM. GIRLS LIKE THAT.

jay jay 5 years ago

remember girls dnt belive in words they belive in actions!!!!!

jay jay 5 years ago

well no matter what im gonna tell her. don't compare your self to other bro be yourself if she cnt see what infront of her. i hate that word but "move on" she realize what later she made a mistake. bro imma strong muscular person and looks don't matters as much. if she goes more for whats on the oustide then the inside she gonna get treat like shitt by all these assholes and then realize she needs a nicee guy hang in there bro. well she just talking to these guys and i been doing all these niice thing for her but ill tell her soon and ill let u know. its gona hurt me and bring me to tears but shes knows im real.

That guy over there 5 years ago

Ouch. Sorry about that jay jay. Im no better today. She is now considering two guys and neither are me. And I do talk to her everyday. And I always look into her gorgeous eyes. I have even hinted a couple times that I am talking about her but she never gets them. I just wish I can blurt it out and tell her bit what chance do I have? I'm a freakin band member and the other guy I know is a dang football player. What are the odds. Females are more attracted to strong, muscular people and I am not that kind of guy. Dude, that's really got to suck and I wish I knew something to tell you. Did they just start? And how long can it last? I hope everything works out for you in the end.

jay jay 5 years ago

hey guy over there im in the same situation as you =( she seeing some guy and im broken

jay jay 5 years ago

plus take every opportunity you can to talk or hangout with her.Let her know how your feelings for her have changed and how you feel you how you two should be together. but you have mean it no bull ishh. always look into her eyesss!! ask her how u feel.. if she says no.. don't give up might take more time.. don't act upset or make her feel bad. stay friendss. Now you've planted a seed in her mind, and she might realize later she feels the same way.

jay jay 5 years ago

well eventually she get bored of the guy lol. just be by her side. just relax bro. it takes time to realize. the perfect guy is right in front of her which that's you. it is your imagination.well now your have to wait bro if u tell her now its gonna be different. its depend bro has she done things for you?? how long have u been friends for?? and she doesn't have clue when u tell her your girls problems??

well emma i would tell her cuz anxiety kills and i hate that!!

its not healthy to hold something inside for soo long like i have . just tell her how u feel never know what can happen. good luck though =)

Emma 5 years ago

I am a 21 year old female, who has been head over heels crazy about a 35 year old woman for over a year now, we work in the same building and we have become really close over the past year. A few of my friends are convinced that she has feelings for me just because of the things she does or says to me, but she is straight.. And she hasn't let on in any obvious way that she feels anything for me other than as a bestfriend. I have wanted to tell her for so long, it just causes SO much anxiety.

That guy over there 5 years ago

And you know what's ironic? I'm telling her I have all these girl problems yet she doesn't know it's actually her.

That guy over there 5 years ago

Yea but what if that guy doesn't break her heart? I mean I don't want to see her get hurt but am I really the guy for her? What if this guy really is the perfect one for her? Plus, I feel like she may be pushing me away but that could be my imagination. I want what's best for her but am I the best? All of these questions I ask myself all the time. And I want to tell her now but I'm scared of the outcome.

jay jay 5 years ago

well i will tell her when the time right is right. she been hurt really bad before. she lied to she also lost her father. well like we hangout go to clubs and parties together invites me to family parties. i dnt want to loose her either i love our friendship. she really is my true friend btu i want to be more to her than that. i have feelings that she does know that im starting to care for her. now it feels different. doesn't feel the same way anymore. im afraid if i do tell her im gonna loose her. i cnt stand it. im not my self anymore. truly care for her. but bro just be her friend for now bro when that guy breaks her heart that your time u step in tell her from the bottom of your heart mean everything you say. remember just smile and be yourself and be there for her.

That guy over there 5 years ago

Bro, I know how that feels. I freakin love this girl and yet she likes this other guy that walks into her life. I would do anything for her and I have done everything i can to comfort her and make her happy. Then this guy comes, says hi to her, and she is all over him like bees to honey. And at least you can take her to parties. none of that happens around where i live. I really want to tell her but i don't want to complicate things for her. But i don't want to see her go. even right now, i long to be right beside her. She is the only girl i can think about and i would never make her mad. dude, that's got to hurt. just ask her though. you never know what can happen.

jay jay 5 years ago

well im not good at advice but go with the flow bro. date other girls talk other girls. make her catch your attention. i guess nice guys finish last. try becoming na asshole ignore her its hard but that what girls like im so confused why though!!! yea its best to not intervine but tell her anyways cuz its gonna kill u inside. hide the pain with a smile. but hey im in a very bad situation i took her to a party yesterday and we had signs but she called me her brother????? so wtf do i do now. seem like no chance for me at all. but she still gives me signs and clues but i soo freakin afraid to tell her. im sooo confused.. she gets mad that text this girl. girls are soo damn confusing its tears me apart.. just hang in there bro!!! im with you

That guy over there 5 years ago

Why does life throw these curveballs? I hate to see her with this other guy. I want her to be at my side all the time. I don't know. Am I being selfish? Am I out only for my personal gain? I hate to see her go but I hate it even more that I cannot be with her. I'm so confussed. :(

That guy over there 5 years ago

Well sorry to report but I don't think it will ever happen. It turns out the guy who she likes likes her back and now they want to date. I just learned all of this yesterday and...... Ive been so heart broken about it. I know better than to intervine and tell her I love her but it's killing me inside. I mean, I've done everything I can for her and then this guy comes in and she goes with him. It's just so sad how this happened as soon as I read this article and was about to tell. Now I'm not even sure if I should ask her to the dance anymore. :( bug if she's happy, I can force a smile too.

jay jay 5 years ago

all you can do is be there for her and be happy for her. exactly what im doing. im hiding the pain with a smile.

i hope the best for you. maybe she afraid too express her feelings to you?? she thinks the same way to. same way to i know her family. family loves me. we been through so much thick and thin. i wouldn't want to lose my friendship either. give it time.

jay jay 5 years ago

i completely understand bro. i hate it when she comes up to me and complain about these losers. i hate it when she talk to other guys but you just have to show her express your feelings. don't rush things. eventually the time will come around and she realize what in front of her. i hate this feeling. for me im just gonna wait and naturally let it happen. there always signs and clues. just be yourself.

That guy over there 5 years ago

Dude, I know how you feel. I wish there is more I can say to help but, I'm not one to give advice. It's killing me too knowing that I'm not with her right now at the fair. Knowing this stuff and not sharing it is a killer. I feel as if I have a spear through my heart and I can't pull it out. Every day I sit on my couch thinking what's stopping her from going out with that guy or if she will dance with the football jock. you know probably as well as I you just want to make her happy. I just hope that it won't involve with me being deprived if happiness. I can't tell you what to do but I can share your pain and understand. I just hope that both of our dreams will come true in the end. Sorry that I'm not much help, Jay Jay.

jay jay 5 years ago

its kill me inside. know her for sooo long. all i ever wanted was her i done so much for her . anyone have advice??

jay jay 5 years ago

well its true its not healthy and it hurts. but its best to tel her at the right time. you never know what's can happen. just give her time and space. it takes time to realize. i am going through the same thing right now. i love this girl with all my heart but she been hurt to and im so afraid to tell her but they say just wait it out but what if its too late. i just cnt help but wait. or she afraid to show you her feelings. girls don't believe in words they believe in actions. don't give up have faith!!

That guy over there 5 years ago

After reading all of these, I kind of don't feel left out anymore. But it's painful because a lot of stories don't sound like mine. You see, there is this girl I am madly in love with. I mean, she is the only thing I can think about. I have known her two years and only recently became really close. So close some of our friends say we should be a couple. Of course we laugh but deep down, I wish it could be that way. But I don't want to hurt her at all because she has had many heart brakes throughout her life (as well as mine). Recently, she was in love with this guy who liked her back but it turned out he already had a gf. She was crushed and all I could do was listen. Now, she likes another guy but he doesn't feel the same way for her. Instead he is getting advice from her how to choose the right girl. I really like her and I want to tell her but... I'm afraid 1) she won't feel the same way. 2) what if I'm not the right guy for her. I don't want to see her get hurt again. Ever. And 3) I don't want to ruin our friendship. Oh gosh I love her but I don't want to ruin our friendship. I don't have a clue on what to do. Please help me!!!!

Alex :( 5 years ago

i told my friend but she loves this dude who treats her bad, she knows i love her and ive always done all i can for her... i don't know what to do. im sad im depressed, and i want to kill that jerk, btw im a dude, but i cant help being sad over this...

Leonard 5 years ago

If you don't tell them they won't know. It's not healthy. It may be awkward for the both of you and it may ruin a friendship but with these feelings as an undercurrent it won't be healthy for you anyway. And don't be the silent sufferer, they may feel the same way and be just as shy about revealing themselves as you are, perhaps you should just take the risk for once.

f%#d up in life 5 years ago

cool i did it i told her

she didn't feel the same but were still best friends

good luck to all ya love birds out there

f%#d up in life awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

mayur 5 years ago

already tried.....but result was bitter.......but i was not prepared as u mentioned.......anywaz thanks for sharing this....:)

Kyle 5 years ago

I'm in love with a good friend of mine as well (me: guy her: girl..haha). She is way too beautiful for me but this is not the reason I feel this way. I knew her for a while before i started to develop real feelings for her. She is the best girl I have ever met. She has made me a better person. I told her once a couple years ago that I liked her and she told me that I was only infatuated with her because she was "exotic" meaning different (shes from malaysia, chineese malay). I knew at the time that was not true but I felt like I hadn't proven to her how I really felt, so I waited. Now im 21, shes 22, we go to school together and hang out all the time. She is my favourite friend in this city. She once asked me if, by the time we were both 30 and if nither of us were married, if I would marry her (this was about a year after I first spilled the beans). I responded "YES!" like that (i just snapped) and she said "aww" and hugged me. The other night we were walking back from a club (she was coming down off of some mdma, i was sober) and she held my hand and we walked like that for a long time. I just cant tell what the hell she thinks of me... I know i'd be a great guy for her, Id put her every need before my own without any hesitation (I already do..) and I feel like if she realized the extent of how i felt about her she would see me differently. Is it really that freaky for a girl if a guy tells them they love them? I think that's so weird.. She behaves weirdly around be sometimes and I think its because she thinks its I have a sexual interest in her. I would be satisfied holding her had for the rest of eternity, though. Any insights into what she might be thinking? She def. knows i have some feelings for her but I don't think she believes that its any more than sexual/infatuation. She constantly says what a great guy I am ect. Shes SUPER hard to read. Is there a hub for mindreading?

ALSO @ maemae. If he used to like you and nothing ever came of it HE STILL DOES!!! go for it.

niceandcool profile image

niceandcool 5 years ago from Philippines

it's really hard to fall in love to close friend. You share things sweeter than the things they do with there "BOO", yet your relationship is being just a close FRIEND.


maxravi profile image

maxravi 5 years ago from India

Well there are some thing which are said by heart and not mouth.bdw thanks for your hub :)

amanda13 5 years ago

I have no idea why i did that.... so not like me......weird!

amanda13 5 years ago

Hey Im writing again because I just cant take it anymore. I have to tell him soon as soon as I can I just have too its driving me insane. I think about him all the time and Im almost considering embarrissing myself on facebook over it but Im just putting it here. So here it goes....... MY NAME IS AMANDA LINGLE AND IM IN LOVE WITH TIMOTHY KNAPEK! I don't know if you'll ever read this but its true. I love you. I don't know if you even like me that way but its true if you don't I'll handle it but I just need you to know if you want we can still be friends.Huh now I feel alittle better just venting to totale stangers. Most likely he wont read this but I think I will tell him sometime after school starts and I just need build up the courage. God I hope he reads this. That would make it so much easier.

felicitylovespari profile image

felicitylovespari 5 years ago

It's indeed very difficult to say "I LOVE YOU" and that "I WANTED YOU TO BE MINE" to your closest friend. It's like choosing between "water" and "air"..both are so important to you...what should you choose?...friendship or intimate relationship?consequences are huge...if that friend of yours will dump you and say its only "friendship" will you react on that?...for me...its better to remain as friends...nothing to compromise...

haha_turns_buhu 5 years ago

life you cold hearten Mistress

with your ropes of faith

you have bound me to a cold destiny

of love towards my best friend

as i see her live her life with my eyes

i can see her but i cannot touche her

as the chains of fear of rejection

bind me to a piercing wall of spikes

that shatter my spine and puncture my heart

an as i see you loving others and laughing

each laugh is like a knife stabbing directly into my soul


fuck this looks way too emo , i am not emo i wright jocks as hobby for god sake wath the hell is happening to me !!!!

Bela3011 5 years ago

So im 12 and have this best friend that im crazy in love with, weve known eachother for almost two years now and i just fall more in love with him everyday, I finally told him I loved him more than a brother, (we always call eachother brother and sister) and he told me that he didn't feel the same way. It was really heart breaking i cried for days but we are still just like brother and sister, we always hug and hold eachother. Just follow your gut and tell them you love them!! If they really cared about you and they didn't love you back theyed stay friends with you!

amanda13 5 years ago

yeah im a 13 year old girl and my best friend is only like a few like HOURS older than me and i've known him my whole live. and i have always really kinda not really liked him but love him. it was kinda sublte a few years ago but then he started to go to an online school and i didn't see him that often but every once in a while he would come to my house for like an hour but it didn't change anything but last month we hung out all day at the fair and i really fell in love with him a lot more but im just trying to figure out if i should wait to tell him or just tell him know. so confusing but i think he like me too mainly because he said if i die he'll die. i am CONFUSED!! *sigh*

DanielleR2 5 years ago


I feel super silly writing on this, but maybe someone's opinion will help me with my love situation.

He was my first love from 6 years ago.

Well he got out of a relationship, with someone who treated him like crap, and we became very close again... I've always had this love for him. I'm not sure how to express it, or if I should even tell him. I may look silly for still feeling this way for him after so long.

I've been contiplating whether to tell him or not for a while now... I'm sure I'd feel better, but then again I'm scared of what the out come might be.

What should I do?

Uwa 5 years ago

Oh yes,i have the same feeling for my best friend.The best friend of mine is a friend to my friend(male) and i am sure they have something in commom.Just recently,i have noctices some changes of her towards me which is unusual.I love this so badly that i afford to her.

maria 5 years ago

hi ...

i have no particular opinion !!!!!!!!

can i ask what is the issue????????????????????

fashion 5 years ago

Interesting article.

I like its tips.

Jade 5 years ago

I'm 12 and i really like this guy i've been talking to since new year this year and we are best friends he is always coming to me when he is down and i chear him up and he says im a good friend,But the problem is i have abit of a crush on him he doesn't get much girlfriends because he is in a wheelchair but he's 18 and he says he wish he had a girlfriend like me but then he added but your abit too young.I haven't yet told him i have crush on him and im scared to tell him incase he feels awkward round me and stops talking to me and also he said girls like me are amazing.......Can any1 help?

4tune profile image

4tune 5 years ago from Michigan

@ f%#d up in life you 16 years old.. No looks do not always matter it just seems that way right now trust me.

This too shall pass, I would keep it friends anyhow because of the age you both are, why rush and then both have bad memories and break up?.. maybe a few more years there is no rush, it would be better to wait I think.

f%#d up in life 5 years ago

i am an 16 year old boy and i have known this girl for 14 years !and shes my best friend for 7 years

i started having feelings for her wen she started dating a friend of mine and i kinda felt jealous of him but i always staid silent

now i just cant stop thinking about her and of all the girls i ever liked shes the only one i love

i know her in a way no one else does ,not even her female friends know her like me and vice versa

and recently i noticed shes been hanging out with me allot more and sometimes she even leans on me something she never did before

what kills me is that i was the first one to call ourselves as being like siblings and we are literary as close as a boy and a girl can without dating

i don't necessarily want to date her i just want her to know how i feel and remain friends because i couldn't live without her friendship

i really don't know what to do i feel a pain deep inside me

shes the one i never though i wold like romantically and the biggest love of my life up to now

plus to make matters worse she is beautiful and i am not

even though she said looks don't matter to her deep down they always do

lonely 5 years ago

ok so im 14 and a girl and i have been friends with this guy forever it seems like but its like he keeps going back to this one girl for the past year. i remember at one time when he would have a dozon chicks at once and was until he meet that chick i mean she is cool i get along with her but i just don't understand he told me the other night that he was horny (i know to much information but it happen and it lead to us sayin things and than i finally remember about his girlfriend and said that i was sorry for sayin those thing than he just stop texting me so i texted him anad asked why is he still dating this chick and he said that things wont goin to well and that they break up again. i have already told him that i liked him better than a friend awhile back ago and i guess that him and that chick were doing good than because he was like you cant be sayin that kinda stuff cuz i have a girlfriend. he has made me so confuzed over stuff cuz we tell each other everything and i just don't know what to do i know that i love him i can never get him out of my mind and its hard cuz i haven't talked to him in a full day and i know that sounds bad but i cant get over him and just want to see if we can make it... what should i do?

lonely 5 years ago

ok so im 14 and a girl and i have been friends with this guy forever it seems like but its like he keeps going back to this one girl for the past year. i remember at one time when he would have a dozon chicks at once and was until he meet that chick i mean she is cool i get along with her but i just don't understand he told me the other night that he was horny (i know to much information but it happen and it lead to us sayin things and than i finally remember about his girlfriend and said that i was sorry for sayin those thing than he just stop texting me so i texted him anad asked why is he still dating this chick and he said that things wont goin to well and that they break up again. i have already told him that i liked him better than a friend awhile back ago and i guess that him and that chick were doing good than because he was like you cant be sayin that kinda stuff cuz i have a girlfriend. he has made me so confuzed over stuff cuz we tell each other everything and i just don't know what to do i know that i love him i can never get him out of my mind and its hard cuz i haven't talked to him in a full day and i know that sounds bad but i cant get over him and just want to see if we can make it... what should i do?

maemae 5 years ago

i've never done anything like this before but i'm in a position i don't know what to do maybe someone who has kinda been in my situation would be able to give me a little insight. i have been really good friends with this guy for a couple years now. last year he made it very clear that he wanted to be my boyfriend even though i had one at the time. he used to almost bug me always around even though he was my friend. then when i finally realized i felt the same, he had a girlfriend. she didn't approve of us being friends....very insecure i guess. which resulted in her forbidding him from speaking with me. that relationship didn't last long, surprise surprise. now we are hanging out again like we always used to, but i still feel so deeply for him but am so afraid i will loose him again if i do confess my feelings. i keep going back and forth on whether to express how i feel and i can't make up my mind. please help

PJP 5 years ago

i was about to tell m bestfriend that i love her but she posted on her Facebook this saying "i rather be your bestfriend forever than be your ex-girlfriend in the future". What will i do? pls help.

LUCKY 5 years ago

Am stupidly and secretly in love with this boss of mine who happens to be so good to me, my car just got into a trench last night and when i called for help he was there as soon as possible he helped me out, the feelings just increased for me to bare. I sent him a text, "thank you honey for saving me, ooh what would i do without you? this morning he came earlier than usual in the office summoned me to his office, he asked me whether i had deleted the message from my phone coz i have a boyfriend, he said he was okay with it. I told him i was sorry but insisted that it was very okay with him, i told him i must have been drunk but insisted that at that time of the hour one would think we had been doing something. please advice, am now embarrassed, but does he also secretly love me? and have i crossed the boundaries? did the message reveal my feelings for him?

LUCKY 5 years ago

Am stupidly and secretly in love with this boss of mine who happens to be so good to me, my car just got into a trench last night and when i called for help he was there as soon as possible he helped me out, the feelings just increased for me to bare. I sent him a text, "thank you honey for saving me, ooh what would i do without you? this morning he came earlier than usual in the office summoned me to his office, he asked me whether i had deleted the message from my phone coz i have a boyfriend, he said he was okay with it. I told him i was sorry but insisted that it was very okay with him, i told him i must have been drunk but insisted that at that time of the hour one would think we had been doing something. please advice, am now embarrassed, but does he also secretly love me? and have i crossed the boundaries? did the message reveal my feelings for him?

oncebitten 5 years ago

I like the article, and it all rings true. I've known my best friend since school, she's funny, loving, kind and is the only person I can be truly open with. I can honestly say that I've loved her from day one but it was only as I got older that I truly fell 'in' love with her. My story is a little different though to what others have posted, in that I've already taken the plunge, 9 years ago! I've known her 17 years. I wrote her a letter that took 3 days to put together but sadly, she rejected me. In the time since, our friendship survived and we're still very close, soulmates. It's been difficult for me, ignoring the feelings didn't work, they're still as strong as they ever were. Hiding them isn't my strong point either but I've managed to avoid any awkward moments. The only thing left was to live with it as it was worth the pain to keep a friend that I truly connected with, before and after my confession. During this time I've watched her have relationships and been there to help pick up the pieces. I've been a shoulder to cry on and a rock to lean on (her words) and I couldn't give her up for anything. This weekend just gone we met up and went for a drink and got a little tipsy, my idea as she was having work troubles that I wanted her to forget for just a few hours. We had a funny night and went back to hers where we went to bed (just to sleep, we do it all the time, nothing new). We talked and laughed about the night as we laid there but then she rolled over, put her hand on my face and told me she loved me in the most amazing way, she then cuddled me so hard and fell asleep in my arms. I didn't sleep all night, stroking her hair and feeling her heartbeat on my chest. In the morning, she got up to feed her cat and then came back to bed and cuddled up again. When we finally got up we went out to eat and she held my hand whenever we walked anywhere and cuddled me twice for no reason when we were standing still. Later that night she actually said we'd been closer than normal and that she'd really liked it. It's like all the barriers that were put up 8 years ago came crashing down this weekend and now I'm in turmoil. I've had a taste of what things could be like between us and more importantly, I see it's possible. Has she come round? Has my patience been rewarded? I really don't know, but one thing I do know is that I can't say anything to her, if she rejected me again now, I know I'd have to walk away from her altogether because I can't do those 8 years again, it took every fibre of my being. I'm hoping that if she did mean anything by it, my obvious willingness to reciprocate would have made her comfortable enough to maybe act on it in the near future. I also hope that her rejection of me all those years ago is now fresh in her mind once again and that she'll make amends by approaching me this time. I guess we'll find out if patience is really a virtue. Anyway, great article and thanks for reading my long post, my friend is the only person I can talk to on this level but obviously, on this occasion typing out my feelings on an anonymous page, if only to make sense of it myself, will have to do. Good luck to you all, but think hard before you make a choice, it can be a painful journey, but maybe, just maybe, it's not the end of the line.

celeBritys4africA profile image

celeBritys4africA 5 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

After reading your hub, everything seems to be so easy...and positive.

Forever single ):  5 years ago

I like a guy who's a year younger than me,and we live in the Same neighborhood. Idk if he likes me or not, but I really want to tell him I like him. Because I'm 14 and I have never had a bf and I've never kissed anyone.... I'm not the prettiest but I'm not hideous.

driverfor 5 years ago

An intriguing hub. Very interesting!

xp0 5 years ago


I have fallen in love with a girl whom i know since last 2.5 years. We have been best friends since then. She is elder to me by few months. :( . She has never been closer to anyone but me. She trusts me a lot. I don't know how to express my feelings to her. If i directly approach her, there are chances that she might not talk with me forever. I might lose her trust. I do not want this to happen. At the same time i am not able to control my feelings also. It is killing me everyday.

lee 5 years ago

Hello i have a problem i'm 20 yrs old and need to tell a girl i love her we don't see eachother often, she lives 30 miles away and i have no job and neither des she i am looking for work but where i live its difficult to find a job i have a car but no insurance so i cant drive it hense why i need a job. me and this special girl hav'nt realy seen eachother much due to the circumstances so its been more phone conversations than anything we can talk for hours an where both very comfortable. we have realy got to know eachother but not as much in person, and i know i love her and i feel i need to tell her but don't know how to. we have been talking for 4 years please help i need to get it off my chest. i really ont expect a relationship. but if she felt the same way i would do everything i can to get that car on the road. please don't think iam stupid i cant help the way i feel.

ray 5 years ago

how does a friend stay a friend after you have sex n kissed n you say i love u too can we still be close friends or are we both in love n just don't knw it

paul 5 years ago

I told my best friend i had feelings for her. she told me she had known that i felt that way about her for a long time and was waiting for me to tell her. She unfortunatly didn't have the same feelings for me but wanted to stay friends and now we are closer than we have ever been. i don't know what id do without her!!

Rose  5 years ago

Im 28 yr old female married , with one yr old kid . I have crush on

one of my husbands close friend . Whom we meet everyday .He is also

married with a kid . We are very good friends since 3 yrs . We share

most of the things in life . Chat frquently during office hours . In

these span of 3 yrs , i have gradually developed my likings towards

him without my knowledge . i feel happy with him , when we meet or

talk . I wanted to tell him from long time , what i feel for him . i

told him a day ago . that i cant think my relation with u as brother .

he was ok with it and agreed also . He had no much reaction when i

told him " i like him " and have a crush on him . hez all normal with

me , was not angry also . he just said lets be gud friends always .

chris 5 years ago

its hard to tell your best friend that you love them. I did and it didn't turn out so well. luckily we are still friends.

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Linda Tadlock 5 years ago from Atlanta

Beautiful hub. Thanks for sharing.

Ben  5 years ago

so theirs this realy kool kat i know. she's just like the female version of myself. now we are a couple of realy odd birds. frankly i don't think theirs another chick out their that i could relate to as much as i relate to her. we do the same things we talk about our crazy ideas and such. and weve talked about how we just don't even feel like hangin with any of our other friens anymore since we started chillin cause they cant jive like we do. now i feel as though it would be a match made in heaven me and her, but i cant put my finger on it wheather she feels the same. we dated once before a few years ago and went from that to friends but weve both changed a lot and it seems like it would be so right. what do you guys think? how do i go about tellin this beautifull, crazy, soul soothing, french maiden that i dig everything she does? cause you cant just find friends that jive like us. she's one of a kind man. love aint a strong enough word to describe it.

brooder 5 years ago

I'm in love with my best friend, who is a girl like me. I'm only 16 but I know this is love, she is my soul mate, i know she feels it too but I don't think she knows what it means. I don't even know how to go about telling her... I have nothing but time on my hands, shes not going anywhere... it still hurts to brood in silence and pretend im not torn up inside every time I see her

Me 5 years ago

You, will never look at me the same... you know its really drving me insane.

Anonymous 5 years ago

I am in a similar situation. We have been good friends for some time, everyone says we like each other, and we don't mind (or deny it). A few days ago we had a rather lengthy conversation about what it means to love someone. We get each other gifts for Valentines. We share a lot of interests. We have held hands and hugged. We both like to make the other happy. Are we more than friends? On a scale of 1-10 please. Thank you.

hinata 5 years ago

im dFinitely inluv,,,but it was so disgusting,,b'cos im inluv with a wrong person,,at the very wrong time,,,she's a girl.,,and the worst thing of it,,is I'm also a girl,,I love her but I really cant resist it,,,now,,I'm deeply falli'n for her,,pls give me some'z I really want to get rid with this kind of felling,,,EhAid

SorrySally 5 years ago

anywho.. nothing happened (sorry for the clifthanger..)one of our notebooks fell and we were picking up the papers before they all flew away, we just laughed as we did it. back then i had a bf, he wasn't too great now that i look back.. but my best friend always told me to leave him that all he did was hurt me and he didn't like that, he said i deserved better and that he was bad (won't say the real language he said..) it came to a point where i became somewhat depressed for a while and my best friend wanted to break up with me as friends, he said he was tired of seeing me around so quiet and down and never opening up to him about just that one thing, he said we should go our separate ways and try to avoid each other, i would just nod but not look at him in the eyes.. then he asked me one more time why i took so much from my bf (now ex bf) and i told him, i couldn't hold back the tears, i talked, and talked, and talked, he never said a word or interrupted.. i only looked up at him once to see his face sad, speechless, sorrowful, but somewhat tender, and caring, but i quickly looked away.. then the bell rang and i got up from my chair and started heading out (yeah.. this was in a classroom, but it felt like it was our own world just me and him, ignoring everyone else and everything else) and he quickly followed me as i ran out, when he caught up he hugged me tight and didn't let go for a good while, he said he was sorry and he would never leave me he just wanted to know what was going on with me and that he cared about me and knew that i deserved better, we stayed together a while longer knowing we'd be late to class, walking slowly and embracing friendly here and there (he is not the touchy type of person.. even till this date) and then he walked me to class

(another sad thing.. we made a treaty before we were about to friend break up to never like each other and be just friends and both agreed.. then he tried to friend breakup --all of this after the other two incidents i mentioned earlier)

well.. its been a year since then and A LOT of things have changed.. i can't really say much now(lots to do) but i'd be willing to post again soon g2g and thanks to all of those who actually stood the time of reading this, its a long webpage already so its a miracle if you found it,

feel free to e-mail with title "bf to BF"

SorrySally 5 years ago

When i first met my best friend it was for a dance preparation for a party through a friend(their cousin), everyone told us we madly liked each other but i was really shy and got a couple hints but was never too sure if it was anything serious. We would always call and text each other and make plans to go out after the party but one or the other would always end up canceling for some reason till we finally saw we were never going to be able to really hang out. we had ended up going to the same schools after a while and had lost connection by then. We had a couple classes together and once again started off from where we left off (somewhat). It got to the point where we would walk around the campus all the time, alone, talking about anything and everything. We even had one of those "movie moments" (its still unbelievable to me at times though) We walked around and the subject came up if we were ever TOO close.. He said that only couples were that close (trusting each other with everything) and not friends not even best friends that only boyfriends and girlfriends and they asked if WE were boyfriend and girlfriend, they sounded unsure of themselves and confused and i didn't know what kind of answer they would want to hear or want to expect so i said something that would be the closest to inbetween.. "well.. I.. n--.. well yeah i guess that mostly boyfriends and girlfriends only do this.. but friends can do that too.. i mean trust in each other... i mean.. right?" and they were still confused, but i was even more confused (and now the "movie moment" [which was before they actually asked if we were TOO close..? :\] ) We were walking around the campus like we were doing lately (back then) and we decided to sit down on a concrete bench (it was a bright sunny and clear day) and talked about our dreams and what we would want to change and how we would want and where we would want to be. They confessed that i was the best friend that they had EVER had even though they had just known me for a year that they could consider me as such (i felt surprised and it was unexpected to hear something like that, i was just stunned and at the same time filled with a happiness) they also said that they wished that we could be in our own little world, a garden (and a flower filled tree like the one behind us), an orange sky, flowers all around us, and us on a bench, just staring into the sunset forever. we both smiled. and just then a gust of wind came and the flowers from the tree above us circled around us as we just looked into each others eyes

Paul 6 years ago

I really like this girl we have been best mates for about 3 years , we are really close and i really like her but i don't know how to tell her or if i should tell her, im going round her house tomorrow but don't know if that would be the right time to do it....

nic 6 years ago

I have been best friends with a guy for over 10 years and only recently I have realised that I have feelings for him. My friends have always said that we were perfect for each other but I never thought of him as more than a friend until recently. Now that I am 26 and still single I started to think about what I am looking for in a partner and I realised that the perfect guy for me has been there all along. My best friend. We get along so well, we can be ourselves around each other, we always make each other laugh, he cares about me, he's intelligent and a gentleman. What more could I ask for? I am so torn about whether I should tell him about my feelings towards him. On one hand I think about how perfect it would be if we were together because i know in my heart we are an ideal match, however, on the other hand I'd be devastated to risk ruining our amazing friendship. Please help!

Mr.Anonymous 6 years ago

I got a crush on a girl too. I'm pretty sure someone told her which makes me mad at my friend who did that. The thing is I cant ask her out because she's mormon(and under 16) and have gotten mixed signals on whether she likes me or not. She laughs whenever I talk to her and we have very similar personalities. PLEASE HELP!

PRINCESSA ,DIANA 6 years ago

thank God everything is fine now.i\m very happy.thanks every one or your help and advice.i am still the same person as PRINCESSA AND DIANA.i am now happy in my relationship with my EX.friend

troubled96 6 years ago

I've got basically the same problem, except this one comes with a twist. I love this girl that I've known and been best friends with since birth. I see her more often than not, but she's 14, and can't drive yet, so we're always crowded around my family or her family, and the only time I could possibly be alone with her would either attract too much attention, or would be in the summer, and I'm afraid my door of opportunity is She hasn't been broadcasting any hints besides spending time with me and saying she likes to be around here's the twist: She's 14. I'm 12.

Hgd 6 years ago

I have been crazy about my best friend for almost a year now. We are texting all the time and she tells me I'm her best friend over all the others . She also just got out of a realy serious relationship with someone before I knew her, she would cry and tLk to me about him and say things about how she still felt about it him even tho he was a tool who only wanted her for sex. She also likes the biggest dbag kn our school but only for his looks and she says she knows he is a Terrible person but she sorta likes him and wants to make the other one jealous. This girl means the world to me and it would be hard living without her. She is beautiful and a homecoming queen and she i am miles out of her leaugue but I'm sick of lying to her face. Everyone thinks we are dating and she says I am the only person that is nice to her. Any ideas on what I should do?

AnkushKohli profile image

AnkushKohli 6 years ago from India

Its all about how you approach the person. you always have this fear that you will lose the friendship that it took years for both of you to establish. I wish happiness to all who fall in love with their friends!

Paul S 6 years ago

ive known my best friend for like 10 years and we do everything together we go out have drinks with each other cinema anything really and ive fallen in love so badly with her and about a month ago we did actually start dating but we both sed it was weird so we split but recently we went out into town and we got fairly drunk and we both announced that we still loved each other wich was great i was so happy we kissed and carried on with the night!but then we both woke up in the morning and we both acted like it never happened and now im too scared too tell her that i really do actually love her and it wasn't just alcohol talking but im scared that maybe it was alcohol talking for her and she mite reject me i no she loves me but i dnt wanna move too fast and push her away but if i go to slow she mite find sum other guy! also how do i tell her i really like coz its not exactly the main topic of our conversations i just want her to no i need to get this off my chest coz its bringing me down the more i wait!

Hanfal 6 years ago

Just told Brieanna I like her, got rejected now my heart is broken :'( but I'm not going to give up

Hanfal 6 years ago

I have recently fallen for one of my friends Brieanna, we just met at the beginning of the year and we haven't hung out outside of school. We text every day and I tell her she I'd beautiful everyday but she hasn't really shown any hints of liking me back, at least none I've picked up on. I really don't know what to do, could anyone plz help me

Myname 6 years ago

Here's the thing, I met my friend about a year ago, I have recently been finding myself thinking of her all the time but I haven't the courage to tell her nor the emotional stability for a negative answer. What should I do?

scott 6 years ago

thanks to the hub finally told the girl i loved her after 10 years of pain by email the feelings were not returned but she understood and still wanted to be friends its going to be tuff but i respect her for that :)

OMAX 6 years ago

i have known this girl for 3 years and from the very start ive liked her but have always had the worst timing. when i first met her she was dating a tool bag but she couldnt see it so as painful as it was I buried my feelings. then she broke up with this guy but i was enjoying being friends too much so i kind of pushed her in the direction of one of our friends because i thought he could make her happy, naturally once they started dating the feelings came back and this vicious cycle has continued up until now to where she is dating yet another one of my friends and i just cant take it anymore so ive distanced myself, were both at school so i claim that that is the reason but i still see her from time to time and i actually have to leave sometimes because i just cant stand it. now here comes the kicker. one of her best friends that i am also friends with told me (not asked but told me) to ask her on a date. this completely blindsided me and under any other circumstance i would say yes but i cant help but feel that as soon as i say yes she will break up with her current di*k hole boyfriend and ill miraculously have the courage to tell her how i feel but i don't want to hurt her friend because i am also friends with her and that probably wont help my chances so bottom line is that this sh*t sucks

Mr Bond 6 years ago

I expressed my feelings to my friend Olivia about two and a half weeks ago. I had called her up from work on her work line arranging dinner and to chill out together that night. We ended up spending the night in a awesome Chinese restaurant in the city & then went and checked out the circus there. On our way driving back to her car that took about twenty minutes we were laughing and talking about random things. I knew I wanted to tell her right then and there...

Once we got to her car I stopped her and cut her off from what she was talking about. With my heart pumping with adrenaline and going a million kilometres an hour, I said " I need to say something... Um.. I think I'm developing feelings for you..."

she was smiling and looking unsurprised as ever and said "Mr Bond I've known for ages and it is so obvious that all my friends know".

From this I thought she felt the same.. But she responded saying she doesn't feel the same. We have spoken and everything since except seen eachother again. She still feels fine with me, however I feel so gutted! I'm the only guy that is destined to be with her.

She means a lot to me. Soon she may understand...

Random guy 6 years ago

I've been in love with my best girl friend for almost 4yrs and we've known each other for 13yrs nw. Da problem is I was too scared to tell her bak thn and I thot I cud handle being jst frends bt 3yrs ago she gt married and she made me go to her wedding as she wasn't aware I loved her, dat was the most painful day of my life. And nw wer still bestfrends bt my feelings for her hasn't changed or it even stronger than b4. I dnt knw wat to do anymre. Sme advice wud b great. Email me at

Edward 6 years ago

im in love with my best friend her name is catherine she know that i like her but i don't think she know that im in love with her. i don't no if i should tell her coz i don't want to lose her what should i do?

George 6 years ago

Met this girl at uni and at the time she had a boyfriend but I fancied her when I first saw her and didn't know about her boyfriend.

Quite randomly we lived together for our second year of uni, during which time we got really close as friends and I had no romantic feelings towards her as I knew she loved her boyfriend and I got on really well with him too.

After a bit of alcohol she was always very flirty and always said if she wasn't with her fella when she met me we'd be together.

Since then we've just been good friends reallybut not really speaking regularly.

She text me again on a night out to see if I was ok, at 3 in the morning??? I text back the next day and we got talking again and arranged to meet her and boyfriend for lunch as I now have a job ony 45 minutes from her.

She cancelled it because her fella told her he doesn't want a relationship any more. Since then she's been texting me more and more but always says she wants to enjoy single life. But I'm finding myself really starting to fall for her. I know I shouldn't aswe really are such good friends and I couldn't take losing her in my life, but at the same time my heart is telling me I will never fall for someone like I have done for her. And when I try and talk myself out of it I just find more reasons why we shuld be together.

We both have the same philosophies on life and our personalities just match perfectly.

I know she is planning to move out in a years time and as am I, we're both looking to move to the same area, coincidently, we even have the same idea for when we want kids and how many.

Everything points to we should be together but trying to read signs from girls is like drawing blood from a stone to me.

We currently live about 60 miles apart now so the first yearwil be a real test until we can move in together and we've only been out for lunch and shopping just once since we've got close again and I really don't know what to say when we go out for lunch again.

freakingidiot  6 years ago

Cheers, for the tips,

I waited for the right moment when we went home from the concert ( during a walk).

My feelings were right she also has feelings for me but the age difference seems a problem. Now, I´m confused because it takes so long for her to make up her mind. I try not press to much but this situation is pretty frustrating but she is defenitly worth waiting for....

afzal  6 years ago

We go out together next wednesday to a concert should I try to see what happens when I make a move there or should I approach the topic in a more private setting for example a walk or dinner??

i would say do it in a more privat seting wenh there are no distractions because it would be kinda odd when you guys are on a friend date and she dosnt know how you feel..long story short do it on a walk! trust me:)..let me know how it turns out>

theseus 26 hours ago

a nice hub.

its really hard to be inlove with your bestfriend.considering that the foundation you share is friendship, you always have this fear that you will lose the friensdhip that it took years for both of you to establish. good thing if both of you feels the same thing. the problem is when you don't.that's the risk you have to take.

theseus profile image

theseus 6 years ago from philippines

a nice hub.

its really hard to be inlove with your bestfriend.considering that the foundation you share is friendship, you always have this fear that you will lose the friensdhip that it took years for both of you to establish. good thing if both of you feels the same thing. the problem is when you don't.that's the risk you have to take.

geno 6 years ago

So many of your stories round up my experiences. I waited to long and than you are in the friendshiptrap.

After over 5 years I fell in love again, and again with a girl I´m starting to have of close friendship. to make things more complicated she is 15yr younger and she is working together with me.

It all started 3 months ago and I just thought she is really cute but there are to many younger better looking guys interested in her. So I disregarded her as a potential girlfriend. In the meantime we got closer and closer..

We sms and chat everyday but the one topic boyfriend/girlfriend we exclude...

We still never went out together but we drove many miles together and it´s really amazing how we are connected she seems to me as a perfect soulmate.

Now my question:

We go out together next wednesday to a concert should I try to see what happens when I make a move there or should I approach the topic in a more private setting for example a walk or dinner??

i would say do it in a more privat seting wenh there are no distractions because it would be kinda odd when you guys are on a friend date and she dosnt know how you feel..long story short do it on a walk! trust me:)..let me know how it turns out>

Elena 6 years ago

My best guy friend has loved me for three years while I was in an abusuve relationship. I never felt the same but he waited for me. He says he is sure he has always been sure of his feelings. Im out of my relationship with my ex. He would take a bullet for me and I would do the same for him. Everyday I fall deeper in love with my best friend. The friendship only strengthened our bond. In time I get to tell him that yes, I love him too. Life works itself out in the end. Why not tell the person you love the truth.

freakingidiot 6 years ago

So many of your stories round up my experiences. I waited to long and than you are in the friendshiptrap.

After over 5 years I fell in love again, and again with a girl I´m starting to have of close friendship. to make things more complicated she is 15yr younger and she is working together with me.

It all started 3 months ago and I just thought she is really cute but there are to many younger better looking guys interested in her. So I disregarded her as a potential girlfriend. In the meantime we got closer and closer..

We sms and chat everyday but the one topic boyfriend/girlfriend we exclude...

We still never went out together but we drove many miles together and it´s really amazing how we are connected she seems to me as a perfect soulmate.

Now my question:

We go out together next wednesday to a concert should I try to see what happens when I make a move there or should I approach the topic in a more private setting for example a walk or dinner??


comments are well appricicated

stuck 6 years ago

right here goes, im in love with a female friend of mine, we're nt 'best' friends but we're quite close, i'd say she's my best girl friend anyway.

I have no idea how she feels though, she hasn't dropped any obvious hints but i've caught her looking and messing with her hair but these signs are notoriously hard to read.

Another complication is that I suspect her best friend(a girl) has feelings for me, she's pretty much said so but kept it in a joking manner.

My predicament is as follows:

a)how do I tell her? just come out and say 'I like you' or subtly drop hints she might not cop?

b)what if she says no to protect her friend(who I have zero interest in) how would why she's really saying no?

c)if she likes me how do both us manage to avoid hurting our friend's feelings?

uvw 6 years ago

hey "xyz" sorry they were a lot msg's so i skip some including yours which is the one that more resembles to mines i wish i had spend more time with here while it was possible not it's very hard cause I'm in other country she is at my home country and I'm at the U.S i wish i could spend time with her and tell her how i feel about her by the way have you tell him how you fell about him i fell you should if he is your best friend he will stay the same and act the same towards you..... K.I.T

Rick 6 years ago

this have been very helpful and btw jesusfreak44 you should tell him and if he cares for you he will not change to you he will be as allways i kno that for a FACT....

Mikey 6 years ago

Hey I'm a guy and 15 and I'm in love with a girl who is a friend of mine and one of my sisters best friends. I love her so much and I realy want to tell her but I'm not sure if she likes me back. I do think she likes me because she laughs at what I say but then again I am realy funny and fun and eveyone laughs at what I say and do but idk because it seems to me that she acts different with me. She's a little quite and shy but extreamly fun to be with when she's with som1 she knows. And when we are together it seems like she looks for things to talk to me about and I answer back normal not nervous and she listens like she is very interested in what I am saying. Also one time I ignored her like I wouldn't say hi because I thought she knew I liked her and I thought she thought I was weird but after like 2 weeks of not saying hi she approched me and lately she has been coming to me a bit but I'm not sure because she is older than me and I'm not sure about her feelings toward dating a younger guy. Please help me I love her for real and I'm positive it's true love and also I want to get closer to her to make it easier to tell her please help me.

JACQUELINE 6 years ago

Its so hard.. loving your mate hurts like hell .

Mike H 6 years ago

hey, like everyone here, i have a friend i'm in love with. (i'm a guy she is a girl) we have been friends for years, and we are at the same college, and next year we are going to uni together, i really want to let her know how i feel, but i don't wanna ruin things between us, and i don't wanna ruin the fact we are going to uni together. in my eye's she is perfect in every way, i wouldn't want anyone elce other than her, i just don't want to loose her is all, if anyone can help, please email me with guidence at i'd really be greatful if someone were to help me :)

xyz 6 years ago

I want my best friend to love me..:)He used to consider me as his only best friend...I confessed my turned out..he didn't have...but still keeps in touch with me..i guess he wants me as his friend...and i bet..there's no 1 like me in his life :)..i was his best buddy uptill now :)but now things are not like before :( ..he isn't frank calls..just texts :(friendship has become veryy formal...but i love him to pieces..hez a real good guy. gentleman

He is my message buddy [sad :-( ]....and so its hard on my side to make him love me....being long distance.. Neither he is ever keen on meeting me often..e1 if we stay like half an hour away :-(

Besides.....he is always conscious about his image in my eyes....even a slight critic from me....hurts him to the core...wasn't it a sign of love ?? but then y didn't he ever pay any attention to my invitations of hanging out ?? Just once or so...but it never happened..Very busy person he is..but still ..even an affort was never there..i haven't seen him since a year and a half....and he doesn't even remember my face..( I repeat..we stay just half an hour away!)

...But I feel I resemble the woman he would like to have besides her...i want to give it a real good try...:)

please pleas help

17 yr old guy 6 years ago

so ive known this girl for some time now, i went to school with her and graduated with her, i hang out with her and its our last year in high school. ive always had feelings for her, and im sure she knows. should i tell her?

jesusfreak44 6 years ago

i think this is true but you must always be careful on how you come across. I have been friends with a guy for a really long time and i do love him very deeply, i don't want to lose his friendship. he's my world but i don't want tp run the risk of losing him.

Anonymous  6 years ago

I had a very good good friend. Who I love. Very much. And have done for at least 2yrs. A year and a half ago I told him how I felt. He wa only flattered, an never ever changed how he was with me. And since then our friendship has only grown stronger. I still, deep down love him as a little more than a friend. But I'd rather have him in my life as a very good friend than not at all. And although it hurts sometimes I know I did the right thing. So just suck it up, and let them might not always work out the way you want...but sometimes it's for the best.

experienced 6 years ago

i think that if you and your best friend are really true friends, then confessing something like that shouldn't be difficult at all...and if you confess and they don't feel the same, then it shouldn't make things awkward, and if you tell your best friend that you're in love with them and they feel the same,then lucky for you:) it should never be awkward, for you...

M.B. 6 years ago

dang i needed that 2 years ago :p

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Deccan Chargers 6 years ago

total awesome and beautiful hub ..... good job kathryn .....

Sharlyn123 6 years ago

ii Really think this is good imformation.I feel in love with mah bestfrandd & even though he felt the same way;doesn't mean that it coulndt of been the other way around.he could of not seen me like that;bhut he did & ii was gald he did & now we share ah love'n life together me him & our daughter Kylie she's so beatiful bhut anyway thanks & love what your telling ppl this stuff really works.!

Treesong 6 years ago

Hi I like my best friend ( he's a guy I'm a girl) and I have known him since preschool. Our families are really close, his mom is on MY speed dial, ( he doesn't have a phone) I want to tell him, but we don't see each other much. I only see him at school maybe once a week and at piano lessons, so we haven't really talked since summer. He shows signs of liking me. I've heard it from his friends and mine. I'm worried it might be awkward if I just told him after that long time of not talking. And how should I tell him anyway? Don't give me any discouragement. I'm telling him by the end of this year. PLEASE RESPOND.

i wrote 6 years ago

ok im from london and ive rote alwaysgotthewrongguy andwhat do you think i should do and love is confusing sms save my soal help and love suck so wat im tryin to say is im jesica welsh and i love john riley

love sucks 6 years ago

well i have a prblem a really bad one well im in love with 2 people ,..that's the ok part but there both emos not the ones that die there hair the ones who arehappy then sad and ....they cut them selfs ...and well they say ...well one says you make me soo happy ure laugh ure smile and the other says u make me not want to die and im just soo confuced and another bad part imnot an emo :@ please help anybody ? Please

Thomas 6 years ago

It's actually quite simple! just tell him that you like someone else, or you can say "i'm just not interested, sorry" your problem is easily solvable not like mine... I am in love with my best friend, (she a girl, i'm a boy) and suddenly she just sort of dissappeared. Like i never really see her, but when i last saw her she had the biggest smile ever and waved at me, we didn't get to talk or anything but the problem is that i met her father and i think he forbid her from seeing me, because he thinks she likes me, everyone in my city thinks she likes me! but i like her... I know i should simply tell her, it's the most forward and honest thing to do, but... I need to get her away from her friends (they follow her around like a group of cats around a can of tuna) so i need to get them away, keep away my friends, meet her somewhere, keep family (hers and mine) away, and muster up the courage. Any tips? any at all? please share.

luv is sumtimes difficult 6 years ago

hey guys,same prblm here....

actually i hv a cozn of my age n he luvs me a lot bt i am in luv wid sum1 else,so wht shld i do plz tell me...plz...

Kirsti 6 years ago

ive been in a relationship with my best guy friend before, and we broke up , bc he was in lovw with another girl, and it hurt me, but now he is with another girl, and he wants to breka up with her, bc he is in love with me again but he doesn't kow how to tell her its over, bc she REALLLLLLLLy likes, im waiting for him, bc im in love with him..we've been BEST FRIENDS since the first day of kindergarten, and have always had classes together too(: ?

greta 6 years ago


Anonymous 6 years ago

This article is really cute, and i read some of these comments and they're pretty funny... and pathetic. All of you need to learn about something called the "ladder theory", which simply states the fact that men and women cannot be friends. At least from a guys perspective. Women put men on this hypothetical ladder and if the man is on the friendship ladder, he pretty much has a 0% shot to become a boyfriend, but the man may also be on the "relationship" ladder, which means the women is interested in him. Theres almost no way to know which ladder you're on, and all you guys out there, if you're in love with your "best friend" and she's a female, then there's only ONE reason why you consider her your friend and that's because you have another agenda for her - you want her as your girlfriend. Grow a pair of balls, and tell her you like her, and play it cool if she rejects you. IF she does reject you, move on, stop hanging out with her, she's become a waste of your time. No point in chatting with a girl who you want as more than just a friend, you're only hurting yourself, so suck it up, and just tell her that you cannot just be friends because you're always going to want more. To the women reading this, stop being so scared of "ruining the friendship", because let me tell you something, guys feel flattered to have a girl tell them they like them, it boosts our ego and makes us feel better. If we don't return the feelings, it's simply because you're not high enough on our ladder. Oh, and guys have only ONE ladder for women - and we size you up based on looks. IF we say we want to remain friends, that's because you're either: 1) Fat or ugly 2) there's a hotter girl we're interested in, or 3) we're gay. Anyways, my message is, don't delay and stop crying about your feelings, just do something about it. And of course, prepare for rejection

Crappy Luv Of A Stupied Brain 6 years ago

I just gave my old best friend which is now my new best friend (we grew up together and haven't talked for a year but now we have class together so were starting to talk a lot more about things) a note that said I liked them and asked them if they ever thought of me more then a friend. It had yes or no. Right now he has the note and I didn't get it back yet. Do you think he will be mad if its NO do you think I screwed up or was moving to fast because I had to ask him to our dance which we went together but still. Hes really shy. I herd his best friend twice tell me he likes me but that was about 5 months ago. We flirt but we don't do anything else. We have each others phone #. My mom thought was the one that told me to write the note just to get it out there.

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alishaneuron 6 years ago from Colorado (U.S)

Really interesting read to your best write content and nice hub.

ohhey 6 years ago

yesterday, my best friend's girlfriend dumped him. he came to me for support. i am absolutely stuck in the friend zone. all he can tell me about is how much he loves her.

we grew up together and i had a crush on him since first grade. he's liked me since kindergarten, before he met this girl. we didn't know either one liked the other until they started going out.

a year later, she dumps him. and i've loved him for four years. i can't even begin to know what to do. and i have no idea why i think anyone out here can help, but it's a shot.

be cOooL.... 6 years ago


actually i think dat u all shld definitely tell to ur partners dat u r in luv....cuz u hv to b brave if u really hv strong feelings 4 sum1...dat is y u can do anything cuz everything is possible but v r nervous n confusing.......n don't b afraid abt ur relationships,just do it n hope 4 da best.......

kyun k agar nhi kiya to kbi b kuch nhi kar pao gd luck...bu bye...luv u all...take care,best regards...ur friend

Katrina gill........

love is confusing s.m.s save my soul HELP 6 years ago

well i dont know what to do i like this boy and hes not perfect im not even a wee bit i really like him i mean hes really funny and hes just i don't know its like whenever we laugh i feel soo happy and today i say him at interval and we just talked then after we went to the shop and laughed more . And wenever he leaves i get a wee bit sad u know ... I don't think he likes me in that way i just ,wish he knew god ,grr and one of the worst parts is he like really bad and im good inisint and sweet i get told , and hes the opistit and ...i him :( but i dont want my heart broken and... Well ive never ever kissed some one properly ...:&

Silentkid 6 years ago

Just another teenager here with love problems as usual haha..well first things first, I'm in live with this girl, seriously in love...24/7 I think about her, I spend my nights thinking about how I can make her smile or laugh the next day, I stay up late because idk if she's gonna call upset..everytime I see her I lose my breath and whenever she smiles it seems like everything goes away and the only thing I can focus on is her. I always compliment her, and she gets mad at me for it but she's just the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She's my closest friend too,we sent 800 txts to each other in the course of 2 weeks, I'm addicted what can I say? I just know she doesn't look at me the way I do her, and it kills me so much, I almost called her up after reading these experiences and told her. I just can't risk it right now though because in a way I depend on her, I need her to be there for me and I don't think I'll be able to go on if our friendship ends....

can i help u as a good friend? 6 years ago


i think that sin man,sorry i don't know your name...

but i think that u should express your feelings to your friend...then u will know that what she actually thinks about should have faith in your self so i think you will soon know that what u should do?

ok good luck for you...

jaan 6 years ago

hi,i am adan...12 years old...i am a girl,

hope u all r fine and your problems had been solved....

i have a problem...actually i have a friend named sarah...i like her very very much but how can i express my feelings to her?

if anybody knows then please tell me...u all r my friends u regards...God bless u...i will pray to God to solve your problems...bu bye...

please reply if any one knows...

jaan 6 years ago

hi....same problem here...

i like my friend very very much but how can express it to her?

do any one knows then please tell me....

another inlove 6 years ago

Get them into you before you say anything, to think of you as more then just a friend.

its the friends 6 years ago

ask the girl or boys friend they will ask them XD

fiddler 6 years ago

same problem here. she is my best friend since we were in 3rd yr high school. i'm afraid to ruin our relationship.i'm very confuse and sad right now. i wish she will see this.

Sin man 6 years ago

I don't know what to either I have known this girl all my life and I did ask her once before but she kinda freaked out, that was 10 years ago, but she constantly tells me I am like her older brother, in the same sense we do a lot together we can talk about anything except I still can't manage to gather the courage to tell her, she is the type of person that is brutally honest and I know I am almost the perfect type of guy she is looking for, she constantly tells me she always has the best time doing things with me. Should I take those as signs or still ponder about her telling me I am like her older brother and just stay friends?

what do you think i should do 6 years ago

ok im in 3rd year and i met this boy who is my friend best friend an ive only talked to him once with once ,we talked for 2-3hours with my other friend and he hugs people ok and wenever he would try to go we would hug him so he would stay an he dun it to me ,and then out of random he started holding my hands and i got goosebumps and he said my hands were shaking and then my other friend said we looked cute together and well then i started to like him then again out of random he undid my tie and hugged me and them he asked to swap ties and i said ok and then he hug me and went home and i don't know cause when he left i felt like there was something missing i don't know if its love or just him please tell me what u think i should doo?

Lolla 6 years ago

I am friends with him for 17 years. I am finding very difficult that last 3 years to have him even close to me. He is such a gentleman and a wonderful man. I rather keep quiet than tose him as a friend. Am I doing the right thing i will never know.

B-boy 6 years ago

i'm 16 and i've been in love with the same girl since i was 12. she turned me down 4 time over the past four years. I thought if i became her best friend, i'd be able to get her to like me over time. apparently, i was kind of right. In July, i told her that i really liked her and this time she didn't shoot me down. she said she liked me too but wanted to wait until our igcses were over. but somehow i kept screwing up in every corner that i kept hurting her in every possible way. i feel like such a dick, so yesterday night, i told her that it's better if i stay out of her life, cause i just don't want to hurt her anymore. she fought for me to stay, but as her best friend. i said i couldn't because... how can you expect a guy who's heart skips a beat every time he sees you, for him to be left breathless with every moment he spends with her, to be "just friends". that would never be enough for me. So i ended whatever we had. It's only been a day but im not sure if i did the right thing. i miss her a lot already. i'm in love with her, genuinely in love with her.. i don't know what to do.

alway got the wrong guy 6 years ago

ive been in a few relationships and theve all ended like 'i just don't love you anymore' and junk and ive kinda gone off boys but one of my friend keeps telling me my bestfiend loves me and i don't know what to do im not beutifull im not ugly and he, well i don't know , if he told me loved me it would be akward cause we go to singing club together , and everybody says i should go out with another guy ive seen him kindof upset when i talk or hug boyd

DIANA 6 years ago


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acne holistic 6 years ago

Great article. I know of several people who could benefit by checking this out. It happens often and many don't know how to handle it appropriately.

TheguyFromtown 6 years ago

I've know a girl literally all my life. I think of her every day so I know I love her. I just don't know how to tell her. I'm 14 & I kinda have a reputation of being "anti-girlfriend" so I just want to be "secreat lovers" with her, but I don't know how to explain that to her. Along with that I'm not exactly "beach matirial"(i'm fit but not real fit) & she's BEAUTIFUL! I just want to know how to tell her how I feel. Any ideas?

Jimmy S. 6 years ago

Well me and this girl are easily best friends I would say. Like we talk to each other about everything. We trust each other completely. It's just that I feel so comfortable around her and I like her so much as a friend, it's starting to become a little bit more than that. The problem is is that she has a boyfriend. Their relationship isn't THAT deep I don't think, but who knows what will happen. I mean, she even talks to me about all of the problems in her relationship. It's possible she may like me a little more than a friend at this point, but it's way too early to say. Bottom line, would it just be best to keep getting closer and see what happens from there?

Anonymous 6 years ago

Thank you so much I found this very helpful. I am 14 and really needed to tel him how I felt. We are going on a walk next week and I am going to tell him at my favorite little waterfall he has never seen. If anyone has any further advice please let me know through your comments. Thanks again!!:)

Garrettmacdonald 6 years ago

My best friend is leaving for st avex university tm and tn is the last night I will get to see her for a very long time. For three years I have loved her more than anyone and I have never told anyone...not even my family. At the same time ibwas best friends with her boyfriend and they came talking to me for advice when they were fighting...imagine trying to get the girl u secretly love more than anything and would give and sacrifice anything to be with back with her x boyfriend or my first cousin who she says is that guy she will always love...been crush by every girl I loved and each time it kept coming back to heart melts when she's around and in my safest of days she is the only person who can make me smile and not feel like I'm worthless... And for one moment she actually told me she loved her best friend but couldn't tell him which was me...for that one moment in my life my heart stopped and felt like god had answered my prayers and I let it slip away and would give anything to have that chance back...I am turning 19 in a year and haven't had a girlfriend but I have nv cared more about someone...I miss her so much and she's sitting right beside me and just hugged me and told me how much she loves me and is going to miss me as her boyfriend calls her and she loves him more than anything in the world....I just want the pain to go away and be best friends forever

livy 6 years ago

i am so confused. i love my best friend, and she acts as though she loves me back, but i can't read her mind. i don't want to tell her because i know i'll ruin our friendship, but there's things we do at sleepovers and when we hang out together that normal "friends" wouldn't do. both of us are perfectly fine with all that we do (lots of cuddling and other fluffy things like that) but i keep getting those telltale butterflies in my stomach every time i'm near her. the feelings have been gnawing at me for a while now, and i really want to get it off my chest. but the other thing is that a relation of this nature is unethical in my religion, and my dad will HURT me if he finds out i am any sexuality other than straight. should i tell her?

Tyler 6 years ago

I think you have to tell rather than wai for signs they like you, in my case both of us where waiting for the other to show signs. Ans because we were both waiting...nothing happened. So just tell. :)

hunter 6 years ago

OK so told my friend i loved her we are very close friends we hang out a lot but i don't no if i should of told her that i loved her because when i told her she hasn't talked to me séance and i don't no what to do can any one help me please here is my email just send me a massage if you no why she wont talk to me

Itvmonkey 6 years ago

Hi I am confused too.. I've had a girl friend for 3 years and i have liked her from the moment I met her, I never told her though then she got a bf.

Now her bf is being really nasty and atm he has dumped her. She sends me all these nice texts saying how she enjoyed seeing me etc and she asked for a picture of us 2. But I don't know if it's just friendship or what

She's so pretty and I'm not so it's very scary. :(

abc 6 years ago

I used to be in love with my best friend - I told him the day I celebrated my birthday, but he rejected me.

I was heartbroken for over a year, but we remained and still are best friends. : )

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kingkhan78 6 years ago

great information and very useful things sharing to hub page community

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Jessierae23 6 years ago

This is a really good article. I am unfortunatly in a situation with all this mess. I have been best friends with this guy for like 4 or 5 years. We had a rocky start. We hated eachother. And some how we became as close as i think two people can become without dating. We have been living together for the past year and a half. He let me stay with him after me and my bf broke up. About a month ago i realized that i had strong feelings for him. So i thought long and hard about it... Im such an impulsive person i decided i really should think long and hard about telling him how i felt. In the months time it took me to finally decide if i wanted to tell him, he started talking to a girl. I was like grief striken. He hasn't dated anyone in the 5 years we have been friends... So i didn't know how to handle all of it.. I told him that i liked him like 5 days ago... He doesn't feel the same way. At all. I was crushed. All i have been able to do is cry. I decided i should move out... But just the thought of it made me feel like i was dying. I couldn't eat, I couldn't think i was useless. So i asked if i could stay and he said yes. Hes such an awesome guy, and i think i may be stupid for staying around while hes pursuing someone else.... But hes my best friend and I love him.... Emotions are pointless.

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MSal2185 6 years ago from PA

Love this hub! I've been in several situations like that I've found that these things always work themselves out. I did confess to my one friend a few years back, but the feelings weren't mutual and we remained friends (although now we've sort of gone our separate ways). I always seem to be caught between friend and girlfriend so I definitely identify with this. Good luck to everyone out there! :)

gianna bieberr 6 years ago

im going into middle school wit my best guy friend and i think its time to tell him :D! lmaoo

DIANA 6 years ago


name can't be said 6 years ago

yh i love my bestfriend and i told him 10 mins ago he goin 2 have his dinner n ring me back 2 tell me the answer. really don't know what to expect

Jane Doe 6 years ago

It is betrayal if you don't tell her. It's never easy to be honest, but if she cares about you, whether she loves you back, it will make you more trustworthy.

John Doe 6 years ago

Hi Guys. 'Am glad I found this article. It's past midnight here and I can't sleep. I am in the same boat as you guys. I am so in love with a good friend that I work with. It's really painful. I can't concentrate when I'm in the office. I feel like my feelings would burst out of my chest like an alien if I don't tell her soon . But it's easier said than done. I know the stigma that would be attached to it if things don't go down as planned. The embarrassment, the office gossip, the prying eyes of my colleagues what should I do? This girl and I share a lot of secrets. We trust each other.I didn't have feelings for her before. It just happened. I just woke up one day with an intense feeling towards her. And now I can't shake it off. I know that she will feel betrayed if I tell her how I feel. But then again, is it not also a betrayal if I just suppress my feelings. Help me guys.

KJ 6 years ago

I actually told my best friend how I felt to him, but sadly he did not love me more than friends. After that, I stopped talking to him immediately because he had a girlfriend(after I confessed around 1 month. I could not be his friend anymore because it is just too hard for me to see him and the one he loved.But it was not my intention to stop our friendship. And things changed, now we become a stranger to each other.It is pretty sad and painful. It took me years to get recover, it was one of the hardest times in my life. But finally, life goes on. I was always scared to love again since love hurts so much and I told myself that I would never fall in love with my best friend. But nothing in life can be predictable, I start to love my close friend again (another one) but this time I think I am not going to tell him anymore. I just learned from my experiences.

But sometimes even though it is the same situation (like it repeats you again) but different person, maybe somehow you can try to tell that person even though in the past you failed. This time may not be the same result!!

Yelena 6 years ago

i think you should just tell your friend, because if your really close i think he will understand where you are coming from.

nellieeee 6 years ago

DUDE, im so confused as well....

ive been best friends with this guy for 4 years now, and through out the four years i have seen him as my brother... like a gay brother... we are so close... we talk 20 times a day, see each daily and share everything together... people always gave us crap for always looking like a married couple.. but there was NEVER ever any weird awkared moments .. we were always naturally just so close... then literrely, out of nowhere.... i started thinking about him more, and wanted to keep being with him, and keep wanting to hug him and hold on hand (we've always held hands) and i thought i would just ignore it, its just a phase.... its now been 3 months and im dying.... this last week has been so hard because i see him everyday, and everytime i see him.. i just want to cry.... it hurts so much i cant stop crying... and even thouugh we are closer than blood, i honestly am struggling figuireing out what the hell to do.... i don't want anything from him at all... no relationship, nothing... i just NEED to tell him because i cant pretend anymore, ive been sucking it up for 3 months and im reaching my breaking point.. but he means the world to me.. i cant lose my best friend :(

John 6 years ago

If you cant stop thinking about someone, it has to mean something. There is no point in hiding away and pretending and maybe wanting that feelings exist. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and follow your gut feeling.

Confused! 6 years ago

I want to pose a question, do you think it's possible for someone to suddenly have romantic feelings towards a good male friend you've known for 3 or so years?

This particular guy has had romantic feelings for me throughout the 3 years, but nothing has happened because i didn't see him in that way, i only saw him as a friend and nothing more. But it's been a month or so and i can't get him out of my head!!!

I'm so confused!

Random Dude Jake 6 years ago

Ok listen I'm 12 years old and I've known this girl since I was 5 years old and she's one of my best friend like were really good friends (we went to the same school since we were in kindergarten and still are) and I always kinda liked her but when I got older I really started to like her and so my gut instinct was to tell her how I feeled……and so I did……well that was a good choice because now were probaly the greatest (premature) couple ever we kiss (on the lips oh yeah!!) and hug each other I swear were get like married. So I guess what I'm trying to say is follow your gut and your heart and it will pay off!!

Arthur 6 years ago

I met this girl in a bus.since then we've been talking.but ive never had d courage of telling her.cause am afraid it might cost our friendship but all i do now is think about her

hilary 6 years ago

I am in love with my guy friend, I have known for over 12 years.

I moved to Va a month ago and saw on Facebook he found me, have not see/talk/ heard from him in 5 years. but when I saw he found me, all the old feelings came back, but then again they never left.. he was always ojn my mind..

when should I say how I feel, I am not going to right off the bat, I want to get to know him agaim.. but still.. when?? thanks

Heyy 6 years ago

Well all I did was go to his house, knocked on the door he let me in and I told him and now we're living happily ever after. He took it pretty easy. He also had the same feelings as me...Oh, I'm so in love,...

TheFallenAngel 6 years ago

Hello.I`m in love with my very best friend.We used to go to the same high school in the same class but few weeks ago I found out she is going to go to another school :(.I really really love her,and I don`t know does she love me back.I`m afraid if I tell her,that will affect on our friendship.But I think I`m going to tell her.I can`t keep it inside me anymore...Do you have any suggestions for me?

Gonzo Pettelli 6 years ago

I've just told my best female friend that I love her. it didn't go to well she said that she can't think about it right now but we are still good mates. I think if you love someone its always a good feeling to say so just tell them whatever they feel you still want to be friends. your feelings towards someone shouldn't ruin the relationship you have and you never know that might not have thought about you in that way but once you say it they could feel the same way in time you just have to so them that know matter what happens you will still be the friend and if you give it time things might spark between you. he's hoping.

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bd160900 6 years ago from San Diego

interesting....I enjoyed this

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Alan Choi 6 years ago from NC, USA

Difficult topic but I think you covered it well. Thanks for sharing, I found it interesting. :)

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SteveoMc 6 years ago from Pacific NorthWest

I have had these intense feeling for a co-worker. It is scary to say the least. You have given good advice, you need a plan, courage, and a way to deal with each outcome. I know that my affection could not be returned under the circumstances so I chose to keep the relationship as it was.

shonda 6 years ago

10 years we have been bestfriend in i think that am in love but don't know how to say it but also worried about what people will think she she is a girl!!!! what should i do

Dieter Aschenbrenner 6 years ago


What a great topic. I've definitely been at a place where you have feelings for a friend, and it can be difficult to express that to them.

There can be some simple ways to say it if you don't want to be direct about it and still maintain a good friendship.

Some of our language is related to time, and is called 'temporal' language. Words like 'now', 'when', 'before', or 'after'. So you could use these words to relate the topic and put the pressure on the 'time' aspect, rather than the 'do you love me?' aspect.

For example, let's say you're friends with someone you like, and you really want to date them. Instead of saying to them 'Susie, I really like you, will you go out with me on a date?' You could be really calm and easy going and make it into a joke, but a joke that reveals that you're interested. If you get rejected then you can always save face. But know that when it comes time to the crunch, if you are a man, you do need to step up and face rejection. So you could say 'so when are WE going to go out on a date?'

In this sentence there is something else called a 'presupposition', which presupposes that you ARE going to go out on a date.

This could shock your friend, but you can use it with humor and sense their reaction. Depending on their response you can then say, "well I think we should, because..." and then finish with something that makes them laugh, like 'because the moons are aligning with venus' or something silly that makes no sense whatsoever.

If a girl then says "well I never knew you felt like that", then again you should always just be honest, because you've now let the cat out of the bag anyway so if you back down you will be considered unloving or weak. So just tell the truth in a lighthearted way.

If you bring your attention to your heart as you speak then you will know what to say and when to say it.

Also, you can try 'heart breathing' to increase the awareness of your heart so that when it does come time to saying those important things you know what to say.

You will also increase your connection with your friends if you bring your attention to your heart as you speak because being in the head is being separate.

I used the process of speaking and acting from the heart to find my dream woman, and now I enjoy such a deep and loving relationship so these tools are so powerful and I really love to share them with others.

All the best,

Dieter Aschenbrenner

judith 6 years ago

hello i really like a friend of mine very much but i don't think he too does feel the same way.he uses a girl to make me jealouse and that's just it.

Danny 6 years ago

Definitely don't pretend like you don't!!

Danny 6 years ago

Look I'm in love with my best friend as well Diana and I act a lot like the person you described that you're in love with and if you ask me you should sit down and talk about it cause he just doesn't have the balls to do Or himself. Besides if you tell him how you feel it'll make him happy but you're also making it easy for him so maybe just tell him indirectly. Maybe you can help me out? Lol ^_^"

Diana 6 years ago

hello i am 16 yrs old and inlove with my very good friend.I just feel he loves me too and he gets jealous when boys approach me?that's just how i feel.But but he sent me a mail telling me he is dying in silence that was all but i don't know if he really loves me.And when i try asking him, he changes the topic.please help me out.i don't know what to do now.

i think maybe i i am inlove with him too.But i don't know i fi should juts pretend like i don't care.I think he is trying to know me better.Should i just wait?

princessa 6 years ago

hello i have never been lucky in love.All the boys i have tried to date always disappoint me.Either they love me and i don't love him or the other way round.Please the last boy i had left me for another girl when i delayed to give him an answer.I gave him an answer meanwhile i did not know he was dating another girl.But when i found out, he denied it and asked me to trust him.I did but when i saw them with my own eyes,i was so disappointed.He said he still loved me so much.I stopped talking to him and i hated him so much.he then later asked me to forgive him that i did and i said i did not want to see him anymore.Have i made the right decision,i still loved him but the love is fading away.I have decided to forget abt him.And move on but theni feel that all boys are wicked.I don't know if i should love agin for now.What should i do to him?

And i don't really know what to do right now.Pls help me out pls.I think i like him too

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USMCwifey09 6 years ago

My husband and I were best friends for five years before either of us gathered up the courage to say something to the other person. Even though we could have been together the whole time, those years provided an awesome foundation for our marriage. Great hub!

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pager7 6 years ago from Kampala-Uganda

Friendship sometimes develops so fast that, by the time seek to declare it, all the signs will be on the table. This a very good article.

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rose56 6 years ago

I agree . Take it slow and easy dont rush.

jake 6 years ago

i have been really good friends with a girl for 2 years now. We had know each other since grade 9 but really became good friends in grade 11 and we ended up going to prom together in grade 12. We spent nearly all our spare time together and became really close. this past year we both went off to different universities, and only saw each other on holidays, and brief visits. we really stayed in contact through skype and we shared everything. really she is the only person i tell everything except how much i really like her. shes my partner for everyactivit like ¸mountain biking and skiing. she knows I like her, Ive drunkenly blurted it out so many times, but she doesn't take that seriously. Theres always those momments in our conversations where we puase, and stare at each others eyes, or when we end up just smiling at each other when I just want to tel her what i feel, but then theres other times that I get the feeling she doesn't feel the same way.Were both kinda werid haven't really had long serious relationships with anyone, but weve bost lost good friend because we screwed up in this exact situation. I don't want to lose her and ruin our friendship, I would be awful for both of us. On the otherhand I think we would make a great couple,and I think would be a very long successful relationship. Finally, theres another problem. Shes going to france to study aborad next year, so I wont see her for really long extended periods. I don't know what to do, but really this situation is a pain in the ass cuz right now, i cant do anything but think of her. waiting till she comes back will probably kill me, so i feel i shoud just tell her

riley 6 years ago

man im in this situation and ive held it in for a year it sucks cuz im scared if i tell her then it'll ruin the friendship

solost 6 years ago

This has been pretty helpful..but I still have no idea what I should do. I've been friends with him for two years...even when I had a boyfriend, I still felt closer to him than my boyfriend. He texted me more than he did also, poses a greater interest in my day and tells me the funny things that happen in his day. I love him in a way that I have never felt and I know that deep down all I want is to tell him how I feel but I'm afraid of losing him. He's an unusual person..he's 18 and never had a girlfriend...which might not be unusual for some people but where we live it is. He's super intelligent and he's the funniest person I've ever met. I enjoy every moment I spend with him and I am never as happy and calm as I am when I'm with him. How could I sacrifice that?

jay 6 years ago

i m in love wid 1 o my closest friend but i m pretty much sure that she does not have any such feelings for me. my feelings for her is so intense that whenever i m near her i am speechless.

Diane 6 years ago

hello i have never been lucky in love.All the boys i have tried to date always disappoint me.Either they love me and i don't love him or the other way round.Please the last boy i had left me for another girl when i delayed to give him an answer.I gave him an answer meanwhile i did not know he was dating another girl.But when i found out, he denied it and asked me to trust him.I did but when i saw them with my own eyes,i was so disappointed.He said he still loved me so much.I stopped talking to him and i hated him so much.he then later asked me to forgive him that i did and i said i did not want to see him anymore.Have i made the right decision,i still loved him but the love is fading away.I have decided to forget abt him.And move on but theni feel that all boys are wicked.I don't know if i should love agin for now.What should i do to him?

princessa 6 years ago

hello i am 16 yrs old and inlove with my very good friend.I just feel he loves me too and he gets jealous when boys approach me?that's just how i feel.But but he sent me a mail telling me he is dying in silence that was all but i don't know if he really loves me.And when i try asking him, he changes the topic.please help me out.i don't know what to do now.

leen 6 years ago

hello my name is leen i am 11 years old i am a girl i have a best friend called nada and we always have row how can i know if she love me or not ? i am so afraid to make the move

Tyson 6 years ago

im 15 years old in high school, so i cant say that i have that much experience LOVING someone. i can honestly say that i would nearly have TWICE as many "girl friends" than i do "guy friends". i often find that because i am so confortable around girls and that i can get along with them so well, that when it comes to relationships a lot of the people whom i WANT to love are off limits because they are my friends. in other words i always fall into the "friend zone". and one of the hardest things anyone can posibly do is tell a friend how much you love them. because you will never know if revealing your emotions will jedordise your relationship as friends. i suggest to everyone to always be honest in their relationships and to always tell people how you feel about them. because the longer you hide your emotions, the harder it is to let them out.

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bojanglesk8 6 years ago

Nice hub.

Amanda 6 years ago

hey.i am inlove with my very good friend and i think he loves me back i have heard from his friends and the way he behave towards me too.Buti used to have a relationship but he did not like it.But i am no more in the relationship anymore and we are now more close but he has not told me yet.What should i do?help me out.

Rovelia Rose 6 years ago

im 14 and a couple weeks ago my friend fernando finds out he likes me and tell me right in front of me!So i just be silent and he does too,but after he said that he called me his bestfriend he ever had.......

Atchizzle 6 years ago

My friend has help me out in the past with my depression and we have always been there for each other when in need, now after 5 years of being great friends I have fallen in love with her. I think she loves me back I just can't seem to find the right words to say to her. We share our feelings, and she keeps talking to me about relationships. She also had asked 1 of her friends to ask me if I wanted to be more then friends but I wasn't completely sure of my emotions towards her.

Glenkelly86 6 years ago

Nice reply, Mortgagestar. I personally value friendship very much and would like my love to be based ON top of friendship. So, I'm kind of Storge, but would like to take it to the next level :)

The article here talks about considering the ramifications. What about:"I would be the happiest man if we could be in a relationship one day, but even if you don't want to I always want to stay your best friend." ?

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Mortgagestar1 7 years ago from Weirton,West Virginia

In the decades gone by, courtship was the idea of friendship evolving into loving the person and finally into falling in love. Hence, our great grandparents not only loved each other, but truly liked each other as well.

During the Victorian Age, there were courtship furnishings designed to allow the couple to entertain each other without actually touching. This was like a chaperone type of device to keep the relationship proper and respectful.

So, friends will tolerate and understand each other while respecting each others motives and feeling compared to couples who tend to be starry eyed romantics. Friends have commonalities as they share history and memories together. Friends will keep each other in check where the newly met lovers will have bruised feelings.

American divorce rates of today would not have been imagined during the gilted age of the pre 1950's because our ancestors courtships were lengthy and time to avoid a life of misery. Today we have " starter marriges " and we are guided by lust expecting love to follow. men & women today having over a dozen different lovers prior to marriage is more common than ever before.

Yes, we love our friends in a different way as we love our lovers and we can have both if we are cautious and wise.

There are several types of love as family, your pet, a passion, friends ect..

Eros is romantic, passionate, love—what Tennov labeled limerence. In this type of relationship, love is life's most important thing. Lee said a search for physical beauty or an ideal type also typifies this type of love.

Ludus is a game-playing or uncommitted love. Lying is part of the game. A person who pursues ludic love may have many conquests but remains uncommitted.

Storge (STORE-gay) is a slow developing, friendship-based loved. People with this type of relationship like to participate in activities together. Often storge results in a long-term relationship in which sex might not be very intense or passionate.

Pragma is a pragmatic, practical, mutually beneficial relationship. It may be somewhat unromantic. A person who leans toward this type of relationship may look for a partner at work or where the person is spending time. Sex is likely to be seen as a technical matter needed for producing children, if they are desired.

Mania is an obsessive or possessive love, jealous and extreme. A person in love this way is likely to do something crazy or silly, such as stalking. The movie Fatal Attraction was about this type.

Agape (a-GOP-aye) is a gentle, caring, giving type of love, brotherly love, not concerned with the self. It is relatively rare. Mother Theresa showed this kind of love for impoverished people

Go slow & be honest!

Vannarith 7 years ago

that is so true I am with a giy right now and I am in love with another a little bet more and I don't now what to do.

foffle rog 7 years ago

hi im posting again i told the my best mate that i loved her she felt really upset about it because she was going to say no but the 1 thing im most glad of is that i told her and that she's still my best mate and doesn't act any different with me i guess some things are just ment to stay the same..

Ursula 7 years ago

I had an experience like that more than once and when I happened to be the surprised one I really felt betrayed, but when I was the one in love I just could not help it! I got so incredible nervous that my heart beat high rocketed to the point that I could not breath and I could not speak it but it was so obvious that once ended in a kiss and no questions were asked. However I had to decide among a friend forever or a probably short love story and I went for the friendship...!

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MarygrauSheila 7 years ago

I will not forget what you said on this hub. Good research done

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Annie4 7 years ago

This is a wonderful hub and I love the comment string. I guess a lot of people struggle with this dilemma. I have heard that it's impossible for a man and woman to be just friends...that there is always one or the other who is attracted. I don't know if that's true but I have found that sometimes people pretend to be just friends but have another agenda in mind. Thanks for a good read!

Katerina 7 years ago

Im in love with a friend buh he lives in russian and im afraid to tell him because i have been in love with him my whole life since we were little :l we even talked about how when we get older we will get married and now im 16 and my feelings have been getting stronger with him i don't kno wuh to do :l

foffle 7 years ago

im in the same place she's attractive im not but she shares everything with me and is really close to me and she just broke out of a relation when she found out the person she was with was cheating on her i don't quite know when to make my move can anyone help me out (brill hub page)

grumble 7 years ago

i need to tell her but she's attractive and i'm not :(. i don't want to break her heart!

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docrehab 7 years ago from MIAMI, FL

I totally agree with you!

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vannarith 7 years ago

it is rather difficult to me to say that directly to him or her. However, to get the people we love, we need to be brave.

D3nise 7 years ago

wow good advice 4 me[lol] at 11 years old girl needs 2 now this stuff..... luv it

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Sparkle_Lover 7 years ago

wow good advice for me lol a 13 eyar old gril needs to know this stuff ! it

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OdugbesiNG 7 years ago

Great. However, things are not always the way we thought. The thought of what if his or her response is NO will not allow potential lovers to make advances.

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MikeNV 7 years ago from Henderson, NV

Seems strange to me as one usually defines a relationship in the beginning.

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gwennies pen 7 years ago

Great hub, which I agree with wholeheartedly from personal experience. It is best to weigh in the two sides scenario. Be prepared if you share, that it may not go well and you are risking the chance of losing your friend. But, true matter what, will live on! Sometimes you just have to take the chance and it! :)

sd 7 years ago

after reading this i am now sure that i will let her know how i feel about her. 3 years ago i felt the same way about the same girl but bottled up my feelings and ended up losing her to someone else. now shes single and weve become close again and i feel the same way i did about her 3 years ago. only difference is im going to tell her this time. her birthday is coming up and what im planning is to let her know in a letter.

Kiwi 7 years ago

Its all about how you approach the person. Some friends already know you love them deep down and they just may be afraid to say something as well. Its natural to fall for someone who makes you feel good. I say go for it....

nessen 7 years ago

I will try,But i'm not sure

anonymous 7 years ago

another thing to make sure of is if that person already has a lover because then you'll look like a fool

stelios maos 7 years ago

and what if my best friend (male) is in love with my best friend (female)? my best friend (male) doesn't know that i'm in love with his gf? do i say to him the truth or not? please tell me your opinion coz i am very sad and i don't know what to do :(:(:(:(:(:(

Billy Howard 7 years ago

You will know when the time is right. You will see all the signs right in front of you.

dan 7 years ago

i just had my first kiss yesterday and it was with my friend but the bad thing was that it was a dare soo i don't know if i should tell her that i was glad that she was my first kiss or not

please help me im soo confused

Nick 7 years ago

I'm really in the same situation.

Can someone tell me the "signs" Granite is mentioning?

Bosta  7 years ago

It's Nice Cos I Know Love Developed/Grows.Once you make your

emotions alert and not to be hurt if He/she says the opposite

Age 7 years ago

i wish it was that easy!!!!!! plus i work with this girl so its gonna make it wierder

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broyce 8 years ago

That's love begins, friendship then move to the next level. For me there is nothing wrong with it.

John 8 years ago

Its best to ask him/her and if he/she says why say, "so-and-so told me." If yes, tell her/him how you feel. I am in love if Elizabeth. And Amanda Bynes!

Granite 8 years ago

Do not, under any circumstance reveal to your friends that you like them, if they liked you, they would have showed some signs, so be able to judge the situation before embarassing yourself and looking like a complete idiot,

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Ananta65 8 years ago

Nice hub. Although, I must admit, I am glad I didn’t prepare and plan thing this way. Luckily for me, the feelings were mutual and ‘it’ happened unexpectedly. And probably it’s very personal. For me, discussions don’t work out if I plan them.

Rationally I fully agree with this hub, I’m just not the type of person who acts rationally :)

someone inlove 8 years ago

i wish it were that easy..

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soyelude 9 years ago from Lagos - Nigeria

Simple...make the move....then talk about other things

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Princessa 9 years ago from France

A long term friend once told me that he was in love with me and honestly, that ruined our friendship. It took me a long to be "like before" but his confession always stayed in the back of my mind. I did not feel comfortable with him alone anymore.

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Kenny Wordsmith 9 years ago from Chennai

I agree with everything you said. And I wish happiness to all who fall in love with their friends!

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