Relationship advice. Killer tips for keeping your relationship with your partner fresh.

Forget money worries and family issues.

Relationships. How to make them work and keep them fresh, alive and kicking.

Relationships are hard and they don't seem to get any easier the longer you work at them.So here is a little bit of advice gleaned from almost thirty years of married life with my husband, I hope that someone might find some of the advice useful.

So many things can conspire to break the relationship you have with your partner, from family issues to money worries, before you know it you can end up almost hating the person you once loved. How do you fall in like with your partner again?

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Remember that living together brings changes and learn to adapt.

I guess, no I hope, that most people who marry or commit to a long term relationship, do it for love and not just because they like the other person. There are so many changes involved when you go from being two singles to being a couple, from moving house to combining bank accounts and pooling your money.

They say that love is blind and I really do think that’s true. Love makes us see things in an odd way. When I first met my husband twenty years ago and we started dating I saw a man who had some wonderful and odd quirks that I found very appealing.

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Like your partner as much as you love them.

But what happens when those quirky little things he does turn from being appealing to appalling? How do you still like the man you still love? A lot of marriages or partnerships hit a rocky patch, or two, sooner or later, how do get through that, how do you stay in a relationship, how do you stay ‘in like’ with each other as well as in love?

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A wedding is the start not the finish.

With this ring I thee wed.
With this ring I thee wed.

Give each other space.

I think that one very good way to stay together is to stay apart a little. I know that there are couples out there who do everything together, go everywhere together, but I really do think that for a long term relationship to work each partner needs some ‘me’ time.

My husband has his sports and I have my writing. He watches TV and I shut myself away with my laptop. He goes out to a cricket match and I call on a friend for a chat and a glass of wine.

Sometimes, all I need is a few hours shopping alone to appreciate a man who brings me a cup of coffee as I put my aching feet up on a stool. Sometimes, I need a couple of days away by myself, I guess the old adage is true in my case absence really does make my heart grow fonder.

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A little away time can be a good thing.

I miss you.
I miss you.

Find something to like in your partner.

Whenever I find myself getting more and more irritated as I listen to the sound of him picking his fingers, sucking his teeth or making that really annoying clicking noise with his ankle joint, I try to think of some of the things that I like about him. I won’t lie, sometimes it can be hard to come up with even one. If all else fails I leave the room and his annoying habits for a while. Out of sight really can be out of mind.

At times like those I usually pull out an old photo album and leaf through it. Pictures of my husband holding one of our kids when they were babies or building a sandcastle with a toddler always make me smile and remember why I love him. Even if sometimes I don’t like him very much.

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You probably annoy each other.

I think it helps to remember that maybe your partner bears the brunt of your annoyance simply because he’s there. He’s a convenient target on which to vent your general anger and frustration. Try to find a new outlet for all that nasty baggage that can build up during the day. What works for me is to write it down, I hammer away on the keyboard letting all of the days annoyances flow from me and then take great pleasure in hitting the delete button.

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How do you stay in like with your partner?

  • I already like him as much as I always did.
  • I just accept that he's not the same man I first met and keep out of his way when he annoys me.
  • I work at it - hard. If this is your answer please give a few details in the comments section below.
  • I don't think I ever liked him that much, well he does look like Brad Pitt so who needs him to be likeable!
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Keep the sparkle in your relationship.

Hard work, but worth it.

Always remember, that if there are times you don’t like him very much, then there are probably times when he doesn’t like you very much either.

I know it’s hard to believe but you can probably be annoying at times too! Just accept that sometimes relationships are hard. You need to really work at them to keep them fresh, alive and kicking, but when it comes right down to it your husband is worth it. Isn't he.

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Comments 2 comments

carthage 5 years ago

you sound sad, your article let me think I should think twice before I get married, it is really sad that life turns out to be unbearable with the ones we once loved.


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GALAXY 59 5 years ago from United Kingdom Author

Thanks for the comment, carthage, but I think maybe you should read the hub again. No two people who spend the majority of their time together for decades are never going to have the odd row, or end up needing some alone time. It's being able to stay together, no matter what, that is the true test of time and a good relationship.

Far from life being unbearable it's the little bumps along the way that makes the whole thing worth living.

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