Interracial Dating - Dating Outside your Race

When Blacks Date Whites

We have not come as far as we think we have concerning, interracial dating and marriage in America. It has always been a source of contention, not only with whites, but with blacks as well. It is reported that many Afro-American women, felt deep resentment, when seeing a Caucasian woman on the arm of a brother!

Many Afro-American women do not care, one way or another, but realize that, this society will insist children of mixed relationships to identify themselves. Do you consider yourself black or white? This can cause them a sense of confusion and isolation.

There is another group, who feel a sense of rejection or loss for the dilution of the race or anger. When asked, why they felt that way, the answers were usually on the lines of, there are not enough good black men to go around as it is; or all these beautiful sisters out here and you pick her? Or why is it, every time a Afro-American man becomes successful; he goes and looks for a white woman? Black men seem to have similar sentiments, but are less vocal about them.

Robert DeNiro and His Wife Grace Hightower
Robert DeNiro and His Wife Grace Hightower | Source

Interracial Celebrity Marriages

Banned in America

Almost 90 percent of the state legally banned interracial dating or marriage called, anti-miscegenation laws. The Latin meaning of this word is "mix" "races." Couples found to have broken the law, were arrested and thrown in jail.

This racist law encompassed not only black, but Chinese immigrants, who came to America by the thousands to work, building the railroad, started dating and marrying white women. Not until 1967, by a Supreme Court decision, where these laws struck down or repealed.

Those of us born in the 50s and earlier, can still remember how a black man could be beaten to death, or hung for even talking to a white woman in what was though to be a suggestive manner.
Many black men were murdered for even the suggestion of impropriety with a Caucasian woman.

A law was passed in Virginia (Racial Integrity Act), requiring the race of every newborn to be recorded, and marriage between the races deemed a felony.

Interracial Marriage on the Rise
Interracial Marriage on the Rise | Source
Attitudes on Interracial Marriage have Changed
Attitudes on Interracial Marriage have Changed | Source

Interracial Dating on the Rise

Since the 60s when the banning of love outside the races, was repealed, interracial dating and marriage has been on the rise. Today, more than 35 percent American adults surveyed say that they have a family member that is married to someone of a different race.

There is still a portion of the population, who has admitted to having a problem with mixing the races, but hopefully these attitudes will die off with the generation who embraced them!

Can you believe that has only been 40 years ago (June 12, 1967), that the U.S. Supreme Court knocked down a Virginia statute barring whites from marrying outside of your race?
Who you choose to love, is your own business. It is very, that people are people.

Heidi klum and Seal
Heidi klum and Seal | Source

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

I remember the frenzy about the movie, "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner", where a black man and a white woman, announce their engagement to her upper class parents.

It was the fist time that this subject was so openly broached in American film. Through much debate and struggle, the parents came to accept who their daughter loves and wishes them well.

With the rise of interracial love, dating and marriage, it is best to keep an open mind. The world is becoming so much bigger, and our children experiencing a different world. One day you may have to face this same situation, when your child brings home fa friend, they have fallen in love with, that looks a little different you then! Are you ready for that?

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Comments 42 comments

2besure profile image

2besure 3 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

Lenchen, before you post how you think the white race is better than any other race, learn how to spell races. It is spelled 'races' not 'raczs'! I tend to disagree with you, there is no better or worse race; only better or worse people!

Lenchen 3 years ago

There are several raczs and it's my right i want to stay with my own race , i'm not racist i don't see any race to be better or anyrhing like that .. skin color tell more than people think

Huntgoddess profile image

Huntgoddess 3 years ago from Midwest U.S.A.

I have one word for a racial purist:


I don't know. Maybe that's two words?

Well, you get my drift? I guess you just have to feel sorry for a racial purist. We are all human, and there really is no such thing as race, biologically speaking. There's only the human race, and we all have twenty - three pairs of chromosomes.

2besure profile image

2besure 3 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

Huntgoddess, there are still many racial purist who are upset about it inter-marrying. However, life goes on, huh?

Huntgoddess profile image

Huntgoddess 3 years ago from Midwest U.S.A.

Well, I read that interracial couples now out-number "regular" (same ethnicity) couples, at least here in the U.S.

I think that probably would have happened a couple of hundred years ago except for those stupid segregation laws.

2besure profile image

2besure 3 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

GStamp, that you for your comment! You made a good point that I did not make in the hub. It can be difficult finding a compatible mate and it may be necessary to consider relationships outside your race.

GStamp profile image

GStamp 3 years ago

Very interesting post and one that has been discussed for years, yet will remain of great interest. I agree with the tone of this article. The world has come a long way and is ever changing. In this day and age, its becoming increasingly difficult to find a compatible mate in general, let alone one of the same race. Why limit yourself because of differences that we have no control over and that frankly, don't matter? I wrote a hub that sort of relates to this regarding the myth of perfect people in a perfect relationship.

2besure profile image

2besure 3 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

faithbuilder23, so true...we are all children of God, no matter what color!

2besure profile image

2besure 3 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

MarleneB, I love your statement, "We just saw each other as two human beings who cared deeply for each other." This says it all. Your daughters did not learn prejudice, so they were free from limitations of only loving one type of person. Good for you and good for them. Blessings!

MarleneB profile image

MarleneB 3 years ago from Northern California, USA

As you can see by my profile picture, I am a black African-American woman. I have married twice. My first marriage was to a black African-American man and we had two beautiful daughters. Then, we divorced. I remarried, but this time to a Caucasian man. My ex-husband claimed it was out of spite for black men, but the truth is - this Caucasian man won my heart. I didn't see him as a white man and he tells me that he didn't see me as a black women. We just saw each other as two human beings who cared deeply for each other.

Now, fast forward to my daughters and who they married. My oldest daughter married a white man with Irish heritage. My youngest daughter married a Hispanic man. Once again, my ex-husband claimed it was done to spite black men (I only mention his claims to demonstrate how attitudes come into play with mixed relationships). The truth is, both of my daughters dated black men, but the men who won their hearts happened to be men of different races - not because they were mimicking their mother, but because the one thing my parents (who grew up in an era that was against interracial relationships) taught me and the teaching I passed down to my girls is that people are people. You can't judge someone by what they look like. You have to get to know them first and then determine who they are and how they fit into your life.

Thank you, 2besure, for sharing your open and caring thoughts with us.

2besure profile image

2besure 3 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

Laceylinks, thanks for your comment. Interracial dating can be difficult topic for some to handle. It depends on the region you are raise, and what you were taught as a child. There are some who are totally against it, and others who couldn't care less. Life seems to goes on, regardless of people's views.

Laceylinks profile image

Laceylinks 3 years ago from Alabama

When people can overcome the challenges of different racial backgrounds, different racial histories, overcome frequent disapprovals and various artificial roadblocks put in place by the more narrow-minded among us, it must be love.

Pearl 4 years ago

It is a great pleasure to realise how much we moved ahead from the 50's. I myself work as a wedding planner and it is my great pelasure and joy when when clients are interracial. And I must say that recently I have seen a great rise in interracial marriages.

amymarie_5 profile image

amymarie_5 4 years ago from Chicago IL

My sister-in-law and step niece are African American and my family is Caucasion. We are all very close and it was never an issue in either side of the family. It's something we rarely think about.

It's so insane to think that it was illegal to marry someone outside your race at one time. It's absurd. We are all so much more than the color of our skin. We've all come a long way.

This is a very enlightening hub. I rated it up, interesting and beautiful. :)

2besure profile image

2besure 4 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

It is OK to love who you love, not matter race creed of color! We are all created in the image and likeness of God. The bottom line is, people are people. Thanks pelt545 for taking time to comment!

pelt545 profile image

pelt545 4 years ago from Hampton Roads, VA

Interracial couples, biracials, multiracials, and those who accept them must persist and help racists overcome skin color and appearance.

If they win, then the human race can become united as one.

2besure profile image

2besure 5 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

Thanks Savvycruzr! It does start in the home, and my mother and father never taught use prejudice. I was raised in the north, in a multicultural community, which helped as well.

Savvycruzr profile image

Savvycruzr 5 years ago

Hi 2besure, I enjoyed reading the insights expressed on your hub!

I STRONGLY think the concept of "race" is a social construct by people who have NOT yet realised that all modern humans (homosapiens) are genetically related.

It is the quantity of melanin pigmentation in the skin that determines the skin color - even among people of African-descent for instance - we have different shades of complexion. Monstrous-looking children would have been given birth to by couples in mixed-marriage if its against the Natural Laws.

I want to salute the courage of those men and women who defied the odds decades ago to engage in mixed-marriages - thereby breaking down the walls of ignorance. A time was when the European Catholic priesthood persecuted, and viewed Galileo Galilei as a heretic because he said the Earth is spherical and NOT flat. Today we know the truth.

Once again - you've got some GREAT hubs here!:-)

2besure profile image

2besure 5 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

If we all were alike, there would still be prejudice. It is the nature of the human race.

Anirudh 5 years ago

Interracial stuff is okay but it should be kept within a defined limit before the world becomes a mess. :D

2besure profile image

2besure 5 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

Thinks are getting better I though, but with the election on Obama, it seems to be rearing it's ugly head again.

cathylynn99 profile image

cathylynn99 5 years ago from northeastern US

in the '80's, my black next door neighbor married her brother's white best friend. they had to move to a liberal part of phillie, because they did have problems in another neighborhood. things are improving, but aren't yet great all over. isn't the opening of the MLK memorial wonderful? my favorite MLK quote applies to your subject: "the arc of history is long, but it tends toward justice."

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Interesting hub 2besure! I think interracial relationships have become more of the norm. We have come a LONG way. At least that's how it is on my planet :)

Darknlovely3436 profile image

Darknlovely3436 5 years ago from NewYork

interesting subject

2besure profile image

2besure 5 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

My Dad was sooo wise!

ubanichijioke profile image

ubanichijioke 5 years ago from Lagos

You ve so much made the points stand out. As your Dad would say 'people are people' that says it all. God bless you

2besure profile image

2besure 5 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

We can only hope mtsi1098...we can only hope!

mtsi1098 5 years ago

I sincerely hope that one day skin color is not a factor in our lives but we all run into types of problems. I will say that once our society takes their eyes off of skin color and addresses much bigger issues we will all be better off. Thanks

2besure profile image

2besure 5 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

I will tell you what my dad said, when I told him I was getting married, and the gentlemen what white..."People are People!" It is unfortunate that well all can not see that. Thanks for sharing Carol!

carol3san profile image

carol3san 5 years ago from Hollywood Florida

Being a black woman who grew up in the 50s and 60s, I understand all too well how the laws were back then. Remember Emmit Till? While he was visiting his family in a southern state, he whistled at a white woman. The poor young fellow was later beaten so bad he was unrecognizable. I married a white man back in 1984. We were married for 20 happy years until his death in 2004. I still miss him very much.

2besure profile image

2besure 5 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

SO true Onelove, so true!

Onelove 5 years ago

The way society is an was is a drastic difference. But the soul runs deeper than our earthly self. The closer we dig inside of ourselves we will listen to our souls and unite with the one who truly captures our heart no matter the race.

2besure profile image

2besure 5 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

Yes, God is the great equalizer. So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Gen 1:27 We are all the same in God's eyes!

A M Werner profile image

A M Werner 5 years ago from West Allis

Yes, I do respect and appreciate what those born in those troubling times went through. We are blessed to enjoy our relationships in a much different atmosphere than they did. We have much to be thankful for. Peace

2besure profile image

2besure 5 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

A M, I believe it is because you are believers and have a different viewpoint on who we are in Christ. I too am a part of the Body and have been married 20 years, to a wonderful man who just happens to be white. We have not had any problems either with others. Not to our faces, as you so aptly stated. I still understand where blacks are coming from being black and born in the 50's!

A M Werner profile image

A M Werner 5 years ago from West Allis

I've truly been blessed - I'm white and my wife is black, and we've seen and heard little about it. Some family members were concerned how we might handle those who expressed having a problem with our marriage but 18 years later, there hasn't really been any, not to our faces anyway. And our kids don't seem to have any problem at all with either side of the family because they were homeschooled and taught that they were part of Christ body and not a color or a race. What everyone sees is not who they are. Mankind has always had difficulty with racial and cultural differences, even Europeans found problems with one another, and alienated, fought and killed one another because of it - British, Irish, German. To be colored blind is to see the beauty in how human beings interact with one another, rather than where their heritage was. Thanks for the information you presented concerning past laws - very informative. Peace

2besure profile image

2besure 5 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

JM it does depend on a person's upbringing and environment. Things are getting better and our children hopefully will be able to see others with purer eyes!

2besure profile image

2besure 5 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

I totally agree with you melpor! There is a lot of pain associated with our past. Especially those born before the 70s's. A part of us may still tend to feel betrayed by the actions of our brothers and sisters,who date or marry those once considered our oppressors. Only a person of color would understand this.

jm72writes profile image

jm72writes 5 years ago from Missouri

This is a great article on an important subject. Everyone should be treated as a person of worth, no matter who they marry.

melpor profile image

melpor 5 years ago from New Jersey, USA

2besure, we have come a long way since the civil right movement. I remembered it was a no-no for a black man to date a white woman in Virginia in the 60s and to be honest I still react a little when I see a black man with a white women or visa-versa but I accept this as progress for a better world. After all, we are all humans just different colors. Good hub.

2besure profile image

2besure 5 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina Author

We are really moving forward on this challenging issue. Thanks for taking time to comment David!

davidkaluge profile image

davidkaluge 5 years ago

It gives me joy to look back and see how far we have come. It reminds me of my unpublished book which I trust will move many people. I often say, "it is a shame that men will be divided by their religion as they were once divided by the colour of their skin"

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