Why Networking Is Important To Start Your Career: The Pros and Cons of Believing In Someone.

Your career is made because of who you know rather than what you know. There are instances when an employer is looking for some particular advantage that you may bring, such as your ability to access free legal research or your expertise in taxation and the company has none of this experience. So, it is important to never take an interview rejection personally.

In a lot of instances I acknowledged that the job is already earmarked for someone the employer has in mind. I had a locker mate who was destined to have a position in his father's law firm as soon as he completed his MD/JD program. It is not uncommon that a job may already be saved for a colleague's spouse or sibling or child, but an employer still has to advertise the position so that it has visibility of fairness. This is particularly the case with government jobs, where it claims to be an equal opportunity employer, but in reality, it is down to the decision of an individual who decides whether to give the job to a qualified stranger or to a friend's spouse or sibling.

I found the most poignant statement made by a new age author named Neale Donald Walsch in which he concluded that every action made by man is motivated by either fear or love. (p. 18 in Conversation with God) The author wrote that the every action not only those dealing with relationship but also

[d]ecisions affecting business, industry, politics, religion, the education of the young, the social agenda of your nations, the economic goals of your society, choices involving war, peace, attack, defense, aggression, submission; determinations to covet or give away, to save or to share, to unite or to divide--every single free choice you ever undertake arises out of one of the only two possible thoughts there are: a thought of love or a thought of fear. Id.

In the case of a manager who truly likes a particular person in a company and places that person on the fast track to success, that manager likes that individual and wants the individual to like him back. There are many reasons why the manager "Bill" may like that individual. Let's call her "Sally." Sally may be a hard worker, or she may laugh at all of Bill's jokes. Or, Sally may have a really pleasant personality whenever more work is loaded on her, whereas all of the other managers may say something about the workload. Although Sally may be smart, but intelligence is really not as important as personality. Sally is just a really nice person, and in a new office in a new town, Sally agreed to transfer and support Bill. Interestingly, Sally's sibling happens to be the latest hire.

In another instance, in small town two lawyers are gainfully employed. The mother of the male lawyer knew someone in a law firm and introduced her son. Likewise, she knew a position available in a division of a municipality, and soonafter, her daughter-in-law started her new job. However, did it matter what grades he or she received in law school? It is insignificant. What was important is that the mother of the male lawyer was much connected and had opened doors for her son and daughter-in-law.

We humans naturally want to assist those we love or adore. You have seen parents who blame teachers for not being able to teach their children even though their children may have learning disabilities or developmental delays. They are in denial that their children could be inferior or imperfect. These parents will pay for extra tutoring to bring their children to an acceptable level of progress but deny that they are any disabilities whatsoever.

A friend of mine who is currently a grandfather told me that there are only two important concept in parenting: (1) remember to tell your children that you love them unconditionally and (2) attempt in every way to pass any and all skills to your children. In order to pass along any skills, your child needs to have some opportunities. A parent would do anything to lend a hand in opening those doors.

Family members believe in each others' ability to succeed. Wives believe in husbands and vice versa. Parents believe in their children and vice versa. What is a family about when you cannot find a break and support group to air your frustrations.

It is beautiful to see such belief with total strangers. In the movie "A Small Affair" with Demi Moore and John Cryer, Demi's character felt like her life was stuck in Jake's Club and floundering. Then, John Cryer spotted her and thought highly of her. He even did an outrageous thing such as spending $6000 to advertise for her without her knowledge on a lot of cabs. While she crashed a wedding, she discovered that others really like her singling a different style...sultry lounge singing. The cab advertisement attracted a record producer to come watch her sing, and she is then offered an opportunity to record an album in Hollywood. Few people are the recipient of such adoration and opportunity for success.

In the movie "Honey" with Jessica Alba, her love interest had a heart-to-heart conversation in his barber shop where Honey responded that someone believed in him. Her boyfriend was given a chance to get off the streets and worked sweeping the barber shop. The shop owner died 10 years later and left everything to Honey's boyfriend.

It is natural to wish that someone could believe in another person so much and disregard human errors or even mediocrity. A child follows the lucky footstep of a parent who created a successful company but some times that offspring then runs the company to the ground because of his or her negligence, stupidity or arrogance. One wonders whether this was truly the offspring's calling or not. Some offspring do not feel the same obligation to follow the footsteps of their parents. The other side of the coin of a person who has those door opened for him or her is the dilemma when the son or daughter does not follow the same footsteps or does not want to follow the traditions or family lineage. A young person may not want the stifling of his or her freedom of choice and perhaps wants to make one's own discoveries, whether by chance or hard lessons. Take for example, Nicholas Cage who comes from a line of famous directors, but chose to change his name so that he didn't success just because he belongs to a Hollywood royal family. Another case is Prince Charles who eventually married Camilla despite breaking all traditions.

As long as a person takes actions based on fear or love, we all try to help our families and friends get ahead in life, a legs up so to speak. As long as I will help my family members, I cannot fault others who do the same. So, when you feel stuck in life, just think that you may be struggling to establish yourself all on your own. It is not your fault that some others have their door opened albeit by family or friends. You have to try extra hard to understand the nature of human interaction and work with what you have. It is so important to make friends and network to open doors for yourself. When you succeed and you later have family and friends, you will help them pave a way. The caveat is seeing friends who succeed and leave you behind out of fear of association.

I was never given this opportunity, and I should have listened to my parents when they told me that life can be a bit difficult when you have to make it on your own in this world with no one's help. So far in life, I have lucked out, and I didn't face closed doors. At one point, a job was even created for me, and I was able to start my legal career. I am thankful for my opportunities, which is why I try to mentor other and shed light on the importance of networking, networking, and networking when one does not have family members or friends who can open those doors.