Love like a knife, quick and sharp
Looking back four years . . .
It was a great ride as they say. The ones who taste success with their love life. Success? I can vomit freely now that Todd is history. You know, Shane, I loved him. Loved him more than any guy I have ever dated or loved. The kind of love, oh Shane, forgive me for being so girly with these tears. I can't help it! First today, Saturday morning, my favorite time of the week, my period starts, I have gained four pounds--curse the Chinese food last night, and then Todd prances in to tell me that "we" are done. Over and through.
Hey, Shane! Call Taylor Swift's agent. This event would make a great song for her.
Uh, Shannon, she already has plenty of "love sob songs." I could call Rhiena or some other female rapper . . .
Are you stupid, Shane??? Really? My life is dust and you want to get a rapper to do the music to my emotional storm? You are more stupid than a tree!
Love is quick, and sharp like a knife
when you know it's over. Your breath is short. Your heart beats abnormally. Your life does pass before your eyes, even if Todd sometimes treated me like dirt. I was quick to forgive and know that he was trying to change for me. Yeah, right. Some changes. Her name was Barbara Slidell, an assistant manager at the bank where he worked. One night they had to do some bank stuff and wham, their eyes met, her skirt came off and the rest is a history that is so nasty that a swamp in Louisiana would be an ideal place to live.
Comedians use jokes to make people feel good
There isn't one joke or funny thing that can make me get over Todd right now. It's just me and this huge apartment, my puppy, "Dizzy," and my college sorority sisters who call me every weekend to go partying. How they can stay so horny all the time is beyond me. I never saw it coming, Todd hitting me broad-side like he just did. I give him credit. I wasn't even thinking about breaking up. I bet he wonders now if he made the right decision. Naaahhhh, he is a bastard and bastards do not let a broken woman like me pass through their minds.
It just went up in smoke. Gone. Vanished
Girls are very stupid, and believing everything that comes out of the mouth of a devil named Todd Belker. He was "it." He looked great all of the time. He smelled good. His manners were perfect. He didn't drink that much. Plus he was all mine when we were clubbing. And what did that Barbara person have that I didn't. I am in great sexual health. No STD's or anything. That sure helps right now. I am so hurt that my mind aches.
Come on, tears and do your job
that's what girls like me do when they are dumped. Dumped like a load of garbage in a landfill. Oh, I guess in time I will find another guy who is more human than serpent. Todd was a serpent in a Brooks Bros. three-piece suit. Now he and Barbara are having a ball and on my money that I gave him last week for he said he was almost broke. Idiot. That's me, falling for two icy-blue eyes and nice teeth. I swear by everything holy that I am going to crawl out of this dump and one day I am going to be healed, for I am a woman. And women survive.
I sincerely hope Todd and Barbara the best
And that is all I am wishing them. Notice how I instantly-changed from wishing them to burn in Hell, to "my best"? I am growing little by little and moment by moment.
I am not dead by any means. I am alive. I may be beaten emotionally and scarred mentally by this ordeal orchestrated by Todd . . .
But look! I am here. Ms. Shannon Bixby, manager of the Quick Pay on the corner of Wilson and Murdock.
Oh . . .what did you say?
Todd who?
