Man's Most Dreaded Question

Only One Thing?

This article is inspired by the question "What's the one thing you wish you could understand about the opposite sex?" This question was asked by Jade89. Here is the link if you are interested in the answers. 

There are a lot more things then just one I'd like to know about a woman. However, I must narrow it down to one.

So my question is......................

Does This Outfit Make Me Look Fat?

Does this outfit make me look fat? There are hundreds if not thousands of variations to this question. I don't know if it's DNA or something a women is taught from birth, but a man will be asked this question sometime. 

From when caveman Ogg's wife asked this question, till now, every man cringes as those words reach their ears. Fathers have offered advice on how to handle this question since Adam and Eve. To this very day no one knows how to handle it.

A Trap

The only reason for this question is so a woman will have something to be mad at you about. It's a trap! No matter how you answer, you are going to lose. Need proof? Read On.

Just A Little Bit

So she's asked the question. You've got this "deer in headlights" look on your face. You love your girl. Your relationship is built on trust. So you gather your strength and tell the truth. "Just a little bit".

You FOOL! you actually thought that sugar coating it would make it safe? Now she's informing you that you are an insensitive SOB. You don't love her. That woman at the office isn't fat, you're having an affair with her. And so it goes. A couple hours later, your clothes are flying out the window and you are told to get out.

The White Lie

Another option you have is to tell the white lie. No matter how fat she really looks, tell her she doesn't. I must warn you though, this is a gamble.

Women can be brutally honest with each other and get away with it. Us men, we don't have that luxury. So while you told her she looks fine, you better hope her female friends concur. If not, your Dead Man Walking!

She will accuse you of lying, being insensitive and all the other things that would happen if you told the truth.

My Advice

Since there is no way to correctly answer this, I'll offer some ways around it.

1. The question comes, just pull your cell out of your pocket and talk into it. Tell her it's an important phone call and walk away. She questions hearing it ring, tell her it was on vibrate. 

2. The question is asked, yell out she's hot and have mad sex with her right then and there. Of course I'd frown upon these actions if you're shopping in a store.

3. As soon as she starts getting dressed, focus on the TV. Become mesmerized by whatever is on. Even a commercial. Ignore her attempts to gain your attention. After awhile she will give up. After all men are easily distracted by the TV.

Trust me any way that you can avoid being cornered into answering this question will be for the best. I'd rather argue about ignoring her then weather she is fat or not.

My Answer

To answer Jade89's question, I'd ask "What's up with the does this make me look fat" question., It obviously can only lead to trouble. Why ask it. Okay that's two questions.

Of course being a male I'd probably not understand the answer. My head would just explode as I tried to grasp the reason this question even exists.

Comments 6 comments

Jade89 profile image

Jade89 5 years ago from Johannesburg - South Africa

A really enjoyable (and funny) article. I think it all just goes to prove that men will never understand women and women will never understand men (not fully anyway).

This is where the saying comes in; opposites attract.

If we understood each other fully all the time life would be really boring.

mrpooper profile image

mrpooper 5 years ago Author

Glad you like it Jade. You provided the inspiration.

As for understanding the opposite sex, I've thrown in the towel. My goal now is to just live in harmony.

Wendi M profile image

Wendi M 5 years ago from New Hampshire

Seeing as I spent 30 years living with an eating disorder, I never asked the question "Does this make me look fat?" That was a decision I made on my own.

However, I do have an issue with not getting an answer when I ask "Does this look ok?" I'm not asking if I look like Angelina Jolie, or a Victoria Secret model, I simply want to know (at that moment) if he likes the outfit...but I just can't get an answer.

I enjoyed your hub, and I agree with you 100% on the whole size issue...but why can't a man just say "I like the blue shirt better than the green one you're wearing?"


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca

I can't honestly say the reason that we ask that question... it is a dumb question and every woman knows it is a trap. I try not to corner my husband with it, but sometimes it is unavoidable if you are trying to see if something looks appropriate... then again - my husband would tell me I look great if I was 300 pounds in a string bikini - so there is the catch! Don't ask a man for fashion advice. They hold different opinions. LOL

Too funny

mrpooper profile image

mrpooper 5 years ago Author

Ah Wendi, you are a genius. Please pass your message of "Does this look okay" on to the other women. That's a simple question that even the biggest liar couldn't lie to.

kyblueyes 5 years ago

My husband & I have been married for almost 15 years and I know I've asked this question many times. I will agree there's no way for a man to win answering this. When I ask my husband this question I'm mostly fishing for a compliment. I want to know he still has the hots for me after all these years. Having said that I truthfully do want to know if I look bad in the outfit I have on. I would rather he be honest with me than let me go out of the house and make a fool of myself.

Great article. I loved reading it. Good luck in the future coming up with the right answer or distraction.

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