Marriage - a commitment meant for a lifetime

In today’s society, things have definitely changed. Our roles have changed, our schedules have changed. Unfortunately, with all these changes the divorce rate also changed. It has gone up incredibly.

According to www.divorcerate.org the divorce rate in America is frequently reported at about 50%. What does this mean - that 1 out of every 2 couples will end up breaking up. This is a sad reality. Divorce in America used to be hard to obtain, but now-a-days it seems this is another fad.

What is the reason behind these statistics?

Is it because woman have entered the work force; they are no longer dependent on the man in the relationship to take care of them while they stay home and maintain the house and care for the children. If you imagine back, you always think about the family where mom is home getting the kids off to school while dad leaves for work. When he returns, the kids have finished their homework and dinner is on the table. A nice home-cooked meal ready for the family to sit down and eat together.

Is it because society as a whole has become very sexual and our values have changed. Back in the 1950’s you would never have imagined the stuff that is currently broadcasted on TV. A kiss was as pornographic as it got. Our values have led us to believe that sleeping around (whether married or not) is alright. That we should test the waters out before we swim. How did this become okay? I am not saying I am against sex before marriage, but I am also not saying being promiscuous is a good thing.

Is it because it is just too easy? When times get hard, sometimes it is just too easy to run away. I have known several people who have threatened divorce on a weekly basis. Did they actually go through with the process? Maybe not, but it still shows how easy it is to walk away. Where is the commitment? Where is the stubbornness to stick it out?

In a conversation I once had, a man told me how he went to a party for a couple who was celebrating their 65^th  wedding anniversary. What a feat! To reach 65 years is absolutely beyond amazing! So, he asked the woman if during that time, has she ever once thought about divorce. Her reply, “Divorce? No! I have never once thought about divorce. Now killing him, that is a whole different story. I thought about that at least 10 times!”

This is where our values need to be (not the killing part!). We need to be stubborn. We need to fight for our marriage. These were the values programmed into older couples. Divorce was not an option. A couple was told to suffer and work it out. They didn’t take the easy way out. They stuck with it. As their vows implied, “until death do us part.”

Marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime. The last I checked, that doesn’t mean 2 years. We all need to grow a spine and work a little harder toward our commitment. Marriage is like a job. It is fulfilling. It is part of life. But, if the work gets to hard at a job, we don’t just pack up and leave. After all, we are dependent on our check every week to live. Why is marriage not thought about this way? We should be depending on our spouse as a means to live. They are our lifeline, and when the time gets tough, we also should not pack up and leave!

Now I am not suggesting that divorce is not an option. It really depends on the situation. If a person is being mentally or physically abused, they definitely should not try to tough it out. Each marriage is different and has to be looked at separately. It is up to the individual and the couple.

On the other hand, the point is, marriage is a serious commitment and should not be taken lightly. When you propose or accept that proposal, you should be certain you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. You should also be aware that marriage is like life - there will be ups and downs. Things will not always be peachy. The strength of your marriage will show how you handle these situations. Cause when the going gets tough, the tough does not get going… they sit down and work things out and become stronger because of it!