Pick-up Lines Girls Never See Coming
Below dialogue is what is happening in above bar.
Guy: "Uhhh, say sweet thing. What's your sign?"
Girl: "Are you nuts?"
Where we have been
Together, you and I have traveled down previous roads about "how to" and "how not to" pick up girls. I know that my feeble efforts in the past have not even scratched the surface of this sensitive issue, but I can live peacefully with knowing that I tried.
Today we are going to go down a completely different road. That is if you are a dare-devil at heart and like to live a bit dangerously. I do not think that any harm will come to you or your friends while we are embarking on another road with the sign that reads . . .
Pick-up Lines Girls Never See Coming From Guys
As a change of pace, let me preface the "meat" of this hub with a brief explanation. As pick-up lines go, they can range from "Hey, sweet thang. You are the 'sweet' in my tea," to "I am a Virgo and I like being a one-woman man." And these lines are usually made by terrified guys who frequent dim-lit bars for someone they trusted, another male who bills himself as a "rounder," told them that the best place to pick-up pretty girls is in a bar.
So these terrified guys use the lines that "Rounder Guy" gave them and you guessed it. The terrified guys "crash and burn" and always heading home half-buzzed and lonely.
That was before "these" lines were said by men who are just being themselves, but exhibiting a good amount of confidence.
- "Oh, wow! I'd love to take you out to dinner in an affordable place then let you help me choose the right plants for my greenhouse."
- "Would you mind terribly if I offered to buy you the next drink?"
- "Miss, I am overwhelmed by your pretty face and I am in this bar for my very first time."
- "Hello. I am so honored to meet you. Care to just sit and chat about things "you" like?"
- "Oh, I love hot wings, but I am too nervous being around an attractive girl like you to eat them."
- "May I take a wild guess at what your hobby was when you were a little girl?"
- "Oh, I love flying kites and having a delicious lunch of health food."
- "I am sorry that my staring at you made you uneasy, but I find your eyebrows so sexy."
- "If you turn me down for going to dinner, I will not blame you for here I am in a bar and I do not even drink. What a dork, right?"
- "I am sorry that I do not have any horses for you to ride."
- "I know that I do not look anything like Steve McQueen, but "The Great Escape," is my favorite film."
- "I am pleased to meet you. May I get all of the things about me out of the way? I do not fish, hunt, or go camping with buddies. I hate football, baseball and just tolerate basketball. I have a good job. Not a great job, but it has a nice pension. I live alone and my mother never calls."
- "Please tell your girlfriends who are staring at me and acting like they are gagging themselves that I hold no ill will toward them for I am no Brad Pitt. Woody Allen, maybe."
- "I would love for you to tell me a funny joke."
- "I do not drink, but would you like to drive my new Volvo? I just remembered that I left my driver's license at home."
- "I can tell you right away that Kid Rock is my favorite singer."
- "Do I like limo rides with a pretty girl? What do you think?"
- "May I bother you for a moment? Do you, by chance, spend a lot of time outdoors? I say that because you have such a nice tan."
- "Mind if I tell the bartender to change channels? I hate that UFC stuff. Way too violent for me."
- "Oh, how I wish that satellite television companies had a "Puppy and Kitten Channel."
- "Oh, I would look at you when talking. I am just concerned that you might think that I am lusting after your cleavage."
- "If you are wondering, I am not seeing anyone now, or anyone in the past two years."
And the Best Line of all . . .
"Would you mind just talking to me. I want to think that a pretty girl "might" be interested in me."
Good night, Concord, New Hampshire.
No, hold it!
For your further knowledge-gathering, I have a "Bonus Summation." I cannot believe that you did not see this coming. But here it is.
If any of you confident-but-humble guys decide to use any or most of the above lines to pick-up pretty girls, well you know and I know that the chances of you getting turned down are very good. But do not "throw in the towel," for the best is yet to come.
My advice: the end result
Okay, follow me on this. After a few girls turn you down when you use "my" refreshing pick-up lines, you know that girls love to talk about guys and who they are chasing or whom is chasing them. Well, the girls who you used these lines on will share your attempts to pick her up with her pretty friends. Upon hearing how you have a "good" job with a fine pension, and you do not smoke or drink and love to respect women, I would bet my 500-acre horse ranch in Lexington, Kentucky on this one if I owned one that the next trip you make to the bar where you were shut down, some or most of the girls' pretty friends will be there just waiting for you to try and pick them up.
And wa, la. Bim, bam, hello, Uncle Sam! You "hit one out of the park" by getting a date with a slender brunette with a charm that is to die for. Oh, you can call this luck. Or you can believe what you like, but I see this as a solution for your case of loneliness.
Now. Good night, again, Concord, New Hampshire.
Dialogue that is about to happen in above photo:
Girl: "Excuse me, but I have lost my wallet and I do need a drink."
Guy: "Oh, I'm sorry. I am not a drinker, but I will be glad to buy you a glass of this bar's most-expensive wine."
© 2016 Kenneth Avery
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